Female attitudes to male fashion

[vespasian]

Give me time and I will make the whole world fedora! mwuhaha:drum:

 

[Pilgrim]

Not to be critical, but if you were at a social function indoors, why were you wearing a hat? As I understand it, a gentleman does not wear a hat indoors other than in a corridor or other public space used as a travel or passage area. A party would not be such a setting.

Would I let someone borrow my hat and try it on? Of course. No reason not to.

Would I mind if his wife/other didn't like the hat on him? Of course not. First, she's entitled to her opinion, and most men don't wear hats. Second, her opinion is none of my affair - that's between him and her.

 

[Biltmore Bob]

I really can't stand someone wanting to try on my hat. If I'm indoors, especially someone esle's or a public place I really don't have the trust necessary to leave my hat anywhere but on my gourd. Screw conventions, nobody cares anyway, and we few ain't gonna change that.

 

[vespasian]

The party was set in a spacious hall with bars set at both sides of the venue so more like a large open pub than a restaurant etc. I could have checked the hat but going by some of the old movies I went for the off at the table, on or off at the bar depending on if I needed to carry drinks etc.

I dont mind her opinion but I did mind that my friend was full of beans hoping he might look good in something (and he did) only to be publicly shot down in a not too chivalrous way, which was a pity. It wouldnt have hurt for her to say, "you look great hon." just as we guys most often do when our partners present us with something we dont really like but which our loved ones have high hopes for. I dont mind her opinion but its not much a matter between him and her if its said loud enough to make him feel unpleasant infront of a dozen friends. There was a great temptation to say something to his defence, but that was for him to do. Lets say, he was a gent.

 

[Biltmore Bob]

At this point in our relationship...

...my wife just accepts me for the weirdo that I am. I don't ask her opinion often.

 

[scotrace]

...my wife just accepts me for the weirdo that I am. I don't ask her opinion often.

This and BT's earier comment about a spouse's work are right on. They probably fell for us because we weren't another pathetic sheep, following the herd to begin with, right?

I'm wondering, in the spirit of this thread, what our female members DO or DON'T like to see men wearing? I think at least some of us dress to please the opposite sex as well as ourselves. So what should we be shooting for?
Joan Crawford, upon meeting Clark Gable for the first time, reportedly said "Oooohh. He's so CLEAN."

 

[varga49]

It's just not done..

I don't let anyone use my tooth brush either!

 

[Siirous]

Being in college I live with a roommate and he dresses in his typical jeans and baseball cap look, while I'm usually in a polo shirt, slacks and my fedora. Guess who has more women come and talk to them. Sometimes he'll ask them while they're talking to me what they think of the hat, and usually they'll say something along the lines of, "It looks handsome. It shows confidence to wear something besides flip flops and an Abercrombie t-shirt"

Sincerely,
Rob

 

[Raindog]

Biltmore Bob said "I really don't have the trust necessary to leave my hat anywhere but on my gourd. Screw conventions, nobody cares anyway, and we few ain't gonna change that."

I'd have to agree on this one. I can't think of anywhere round here that even has a checking in place for your coat and hat. And even if they did I'd spend the entire evening worrying about my hat!
As for someone wearing my hat I weigh up the person. If they're drunk no chance, if they've got dirty hands no chance, if they're Stewart the local heroin addict with lice in their hair no chance, if they're none of these then I let them.
I think you have to judge ettiquette according to the culture you're in. Nowadays a gentleman is someone who doesn't get drunk and insult everyone, attempt to rob you, pull a weapon on your wife, and kill your pet dog.....
As for the girlfriend showing up the young man, I'd have told him he looked good in my opinion. He needs to hear the truth


Jeff.

 

[The Wolf]

my reason

The reason I don't let people put on my fedoras is simply because I've had bad results when they do. Strangely, when someone tries on a hat that is a little small for them they try to pull it on to make it fit. Then it doesn't fit me and it's my hat. People will also reach for the hat with visibly grubby hands. Grease stains on a pearl grey fedora are not attractive.
When people ask nicely to try on my lid I still say no. People seem put off by the answer. Maybe I would allow with a ball cap or one-size-fits-all but with a fedora 1/8 of an inch makes a difference in the fit.

The Wolf

 

[makll]

hopefully for the ladies to make comment too.
Is there a genuine modern trend amongst both sexes to gradually narrow down a guys fashion choices and acceptabilities whilst the female department continues to grow unabated

I was just having this discussion at a custom mens clothes store.
The choices for men have always been less than and more modist than for women. Also seems women dress for women and men dress for women.

Men do seem to make "jabs" at unconventional style, so seemingly they shy away. We all want to be accpeted on some level. Designers do make fashion for men that are unique and different although most men seem not to select them. They stay within their realm of safety. Neutral colors etc.

Also seems that women go for fad or current style more often than men do.
Its a more disposable idea than a classic idea. (course I am generalizing here). Designers hope for that, their livelyhood counts on it.

As for allowing someone to try on my hat. Sure, it may be the chance to add another member to the hat wearing community. There were times someone tried my hat on and walked away with a new outlook on hats. Grabbing it off your head is a no no (just plain rude).

 

[Gumby]

Just got my first fedora...

I got a new Stetson fedora about 5-6 weeks ago. Never had one before. My three girls (oldest 15) thought is was very cool and insisted on trying it on. My wife thought is was kinda classy. My little boy thought I looked like a detective (there's a stereotype for you...).

I intend to aquire more in the new future.

I think the female aversion to hats varies dramatically with the individual. You can't please them all....



"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
- Mark Twain

 

[vespasian]

Agreed, also time and place. I'm not sure about the women dress for women thing. My wife always has a giggle at the younger fashions nowadays and you only have to walk down a british town centre street at midnight when people are queuing up to enter nightclubs with the girls shivvering in hardly any clothes at all. Plus having a sister, a wife and a mother Ive been quite privvy to the occasional behind the hand comments such as , "she looks stupid in that." Just it doesnt seem to be said openly to females whereas we guys are seen as easy meat for the quip. I guess thats why we become witty. Anyway, its become an interesting thread.

 

[Biltmore Bob]

"meat for the quip"...

That's great...



What's it mean? I get the jist...but what's a quip?

 

[Zemke Fan]

Perfect comeback...

"I can't let you try my hat, but you can try on my shoes if you'd like..."

That should nip those inquiries in the bud... Especially if you bend over and start to untie them...

 

[vespasian]

Quip, a smart riposte.

Such as,

"Why do you wear that stupid hat?"

quip = "Because I like it. I guess you must like your stupid face to stick with that too."

 

[fridaynightgirl]

I was just having this discussion at a custom mens clothes store.
The choices for men have always been less than and more modist than for women. Also seems women dress for women and men dress for women.

Men do seem to make "jabs" at unconventional style, so seemingly they shy away. We all want to be accpeted on some level. Designers do make fashion for men that are unique and different although most men seem not to select them. They stay within their realm of safety. Neutral colors etc.

You know, there is some "science" behind that. I'm reading this really interesting book right now called, The Uncertainty of Everyday Life - 1915-1945 by Harvey Green. In it, he talks about how in factories it was relatively easy to determine production levels; you have a certain number of finished products. But, white collar productivity is harder to quantify because so much of it is intangible. So, a man named Frederick Taylor came up with Principles of Scientific Management in 1911. Personal success or failure was still (during that era) largely subjective. Singling yourself out then was a BAD thing. He says, "Subjective judgments by superiors determined success and failure in the business office, and conformity in nearly all aspects of work life became highly valued. Typical 'successful' middle-class male dress included the dark business suit and tie." That hasn't changed today.

If you look at fashion plates from prior to the 20th Century, men's dress had far more variations and the earlier you go, men's fashion continues to be so varied as to almost rival (or outdo) women's fashion.

And really, as a woman who has worked in the corporate arena, women are far more limited that we "used to be" in our wardrobe choices, depending on our chosen career path. When I was a broker, I wore black, navy and brown suits. I never went to the office without a blazer. It was seen as unprofessional. Now, the clerks and assistants wore skirts or slacks and blouses and had far more "choices" as far as what they could wear, but I was in a male-dominated field and I was in a male-dominated position. So, it was expected that I conform to the dark suit look that the men wore.

Anyway, I'm rambling now, so I'll quit. I just wanted to say that I agree with the limited look of men's wardrobe and that there is some "science" behind it.

 

[spiridon]

You let someone try on your hat? Would your friend mind if you tried on his trousers? Or borrow his comb?

"I like that belt y'all are wearin', mind if I try it on? Here let me help you take it off."

Great response, I'll have to remember that one. I could have used it the other day as I broke into a cold sweat as an aquaintance of mine started trying on my hats while he was helping me move.

 

[Biltmore Bob]

Oh that kinda quip...

Quip, a smart riposte.

Such as,

"Why do you wear that stupid hat?"

quip = "Because I like it. I guess you must like your stupid face to stick with that too."

I thought it was some kinda English Bar-B-Que.

 

[vespasian]

Generally I find females wont actually comment on a hat. Men are more likely to say something so I've narrowed down my riposte vocabulary to two good phrases. The latter I would not use in response to a female comment unless the comment was particularly rude or ridiculing.

1. For those who ask why I wear the hat who dont deserve an impolite reply:

"Why do you wear that hat?"

Me: "Because I do."

2. For those deserving a bit more sharpness:

"Why do you wear that hat?"

Me. "Like you know what looks good or not, donkey face."

Each reply can be tailored to the recipient. Obviously some people will have faces like a moose, others may be more rabbit like. Sometimes people wear bad shoes and the like. You can always add something interesting to make it a little more personal such as

"Good comment. I see its no mirror day in your house, or did your Mother dress you this morning?"