Female attitudes to male fashion

[vespasian]

Heres one for the guys, hopefully for the ladies to make comment too. It has always been the case that guys go in for a little jibing at each others expense but generally have done so in private or the company of friends. A little mickey taking is part of the male persona. However has anyone experienced a decline in female acceptance of male fashion differences. I will give you a couple of examples:

When I first met my wife we worked for the same airline and flew out to Azerbaijan regularly. I generally wore a pair of black jeans, a brown shirt and brown fedora when in Baku as it was practical in the heat and I liked the look. My wife liked it too, so much that later on she married me:cheers1:
I occasionally wore the fedora back in the uk but not often. She was kind of off the look. Now I have returned to the style and she has a little panic attack when I stick it on my head and says she doesnt really like it, because its not in fashion anymore and she unlike me shys from being the centre of attention. In actual fact no-one bats an eyelid when I wear it and a couple of people have actually said, "nice hat." She still doesnt really care much for the hat as its outside the norm. However as with most women she thrives on novelty and makes full use of the vastness of female fashion. My attitude is if you like it, wear it and damn the rest.

Second example was the christmas party recently where I wore suit and fedora for a themed party based on colonial and oriental. One of my work colleagues asked if he could try my hat on as he thought it looked great but when he donned it his young girlfriend looked all embarressed and said, take it off I dont like it. My thoughts were, "sure, I dont like your hair or your shoes much, but how about you keep them cos you like them and ill support you fully?" However thinking it and saying it are two entirely different things.

I dont want to create a battle of the sexes thread as I hate all that old fashioned sexist rubbish but whats the deal fellas? Is there a genuine modern trend amongst both sexes to gradually narrow down a guys fashion choices and acceptabilities whilst the female department continues to grow unabated and to be honest, edges in many cases well into the arena of the downright silly? Is this a genuine modern trend to eat away a guys fashion rights or do any of you have experiences to blow this scary philosophy out of the water.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

I don't know if it's even strictly a modern thing. If you look back through photos/catalogues from the early C20th or earlier, mens choices have always been more restricted than womens. Men had the choice of single breasted suit or double breasted suit in a couple of slightly different styles. People would have looked on in horror before the 60s at a hatless man in jeans and a wife beater, let's say, walking down the high street. Whereas today they look askew at a man in suit and fedora - or anyone who's trousers aren't hanging around their knees.

Now, if we wish to look for true male variation in fashion we need to go back to the 18th century and earlier. All those bright silks and floral motifs - before men became afraid of appearing at all feminine - really interest me. The only sight of this today is in the occasional necktie and pocket square. (and on me, floral motif shirts with 30s/40s suits)

Look at the business suit fascism that dominates inner citys today. Patterns are out. All colours except blue, grey or black are frowned upon by the conservative types at the top. Check out the houses of Parliament some time. Everyone is in blue, black or grey. This is nothing new. D'Israeli was subjected to terrible abuse when he first entered Parliament (not only because he was Jewish, but because of his avowed Dandyism, and attendant Dandy dress aesthetic). Remeber when Tony Blair wore a plum coloured suit? The tabloids tore him a new one.

In summary: mens fashion choices are indeed restricted, but it's nothing new.

I reckon that Ken Clarke (probably the only reasonable Tory in existence) lost the leadership election because he wears a fedora.

RIP Glenurquhart Plaid

bk

 

[Biltmore Bob]

One of my work colleagues asked if he could try my hat on as he thought it looked great but when he donned it his young girlfriend looked all embarressed and said, take it off I dont like it. My thoughts were, "sure, I dont like your hair or your shoes much, but how about you keep them cos you like them and ill support you fully?" However thinking it and saying it are two entirely different things.

You let someone try on your hat? Would your friend mind if you tried on his trousers? Or borrow his comb?

"I like that belt y'all are wearin', mind if I try it on? Here let me help you take it off."

If someone wants to try on my hat, I politely say "no".

 

[Baron Kurtz]

You let someone try on your hat? Would your friend mind if you tried on his trousers? Or borrow his comb?

"I like that belt y'all are wearin', mind if I try it on? Here let me help you take it off."

If someone wants to try on my hat, I politely say "no".

Exactly. There's always the danger they'll wreck the thing. A friend of mine, who's head must be at least 7 3/4 went to jam one of my size 7 fedoras onto his head. He thought my desparate dive across the table to grab the hat back, sending drinks flying, was rather humerous.

bk

 

[vespasian]

It was all part of my cunning plan to draw the unsuspecting bloke (aka geezer making a paltry effort in shirt and no tie) into being a stylish gent. Slowly, slowly I am using every cunning and underhand, or overhead, or on head opportunity to draw the world into wearing fedoras mwuhaha!

There were two reasons, one, I like the lad and he needs the confidence boost, two, his girlfriend would be all embarressed and go red in the face because simply placing a hat on his head took her down a dark, dark road to some hell beyond her understanding (that being that a guy can look good in a hat and she was just too young and immature to cope with his little expression of self).

I wonder if he spent a few minutes looking her up and down whilst getting ready to go out, saying, "no, dont like it." and "yes dear I do approve of that one, you may now don that garment."

 

[Biltmore Bob]

We digress...but...

...It dosen't happen much to me anymore since the broken wrist incident. Word gets around you know, we haven't been invited to many parties since. But how do you like folks to grab your hat off your head. Jokingly they'll say something like, "I just wanted to try it on," When you get mad at them. Try pulling someone's pants down and saying "I just wanted to try them on, what's the big deal?" Or grabbing their shoe, "Hey nice shoes, my size too."

 

[vespasian]

I had a true Indiana Jones incident in Baku, Azerbaijan. I will post a pic of me there in fedora to prove it when I get home. Anyway, I was in the Lord Nelson, a brit bar for ex pats and other visitors with a bunch of blokes from the oil platforms. One unloved scouser (from Liverpool UK) decided to grab my hat from the rack and jam it on his sweating bonce, then figured that the band around it would look great if he could rip it off and stick it on his head to look like either a commando or a cherokee. Thankfully both hat and band stayed together despite his efforts. When I snatched it off him and said, "what are you doing that for," he replied. "Whats the matter with you?" as if I was being unreasonable. Needless to say the evening continued to decline and kind of ended with him sprawled and me wondering if I was likely to ever be invited through the doors of the place again. Thankfully I was a thousand times more popular than a berk like him and everyone took my side of the fence, leaving him to skulk away. So went the would be scouse-commando.

 

[herringbonekid]

where hats were once almost mandatory, these days they are seen as a little eccentric. i'm not a fedora wearer (i prefer a newsboy style), but on the few occassions i have worn a fedora, i have also noticed people's enthusiasm to try it on. i think its their way of testing something that is potentially a challenge to the norm.

as for a female conspiracy to undermine men's fashion choice: most normaltons (new word) are terrified of being singled out and laughed at because of the wrong clothing choice. that is what fashion is all about. when you go the lonely vintage path, you make a choice to go against the grain. and you will face ridicule and incomprehension from males and females. i don't think it is a one sided attack.

remember: a lot of men rely on the guiding hand of their woman as they have no interest whatsoever in clothes.

 

[vespasian]

Like the reply herringbone. Its not a conspiracy thing as that would take some organising and my wife is wholly employed organising me and the kids without any room for bigger plans but what are the responses of your partners? Am I being a bit silly to expect my wife to say, "hey great hat" and to just go with it, or is this the kind of thing that gets bedded in over time to finally end with a, "my husband wears a hat, I think he looks great in it?"

 

[herringbonekid]

i'm afraid i've always had positive responses from partners, but since becoming a vintage freak i've tended toward female vintage freaks too, so it was unlikely ever to be a problem.

i can only suggest you go for a 'love me for what i am' angle and maybe show your wife some photos of famous men from the past who have looked good in hats. i'm sure you'll win her over.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

She'll get used to the fedora again (you said she liked it once, right?).

Then she'll start looking for her own vintage or vintage-inspired hat. And make out like it's her big idea and she liked them all along

The conspiracy, as you say, is not put into action by the individuals. It's from the upper echelons who decide what "cool" and fashion will consist of that season, then change it completely to make you waste even more money on their badly constructed "garments". These upper echelons are the ones who make sure we're conditioned enough to shun the leper wearing something they did not prescribe.

bk

 

[BellyTank]

-It is a part of the work of the female spouse to belittle her worse half-:cheers1:

B
T

 

[vespasian]

She said today, your hat looks good in the snow! So, a small victory.

The whole vein of this thread isnt to knock the lasses, as what Im giving here are specific examples of peoples attitudes, so the conspiracy theory is just plain daft. I just wondered what the female consideration was. I can see a guys point of view easily enough, but the female perspective is a bit more difficult for obvious reasons. I think what Im trying to get at is what are the reservations and concerns. If your partner suddenly started wearing a fedora how would most women respond? Basically how can I make it easier.

 

[Lauren]

Funny, a guy with a hat gets top vote in my book.

She may get used to it, but if she doesn't like being the center of attention, she may not. Not to worry, everything comes back in style sooner or later, then she may approve again. Heehee.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

However as with most women she thrives on novelty and makes full use of the vastness of female fashion. My attitude is if you like it, wear it and damn the rest.

I've never thrived on fashion novelties; in fact, I've had the opposite challenge. I've sometimes lamented the fact that the department stores couldn't have more classic & elegant looks for ladies. I don't want to look like Brittney Spears or a frumpy church goer. It seems that men have an easier time finding basic professional looking clothing when shopping for modern ready made clothes. Although I consider myself to be lady-like, I'm not a girly girl, if that makes sense.

 

[The Wingnut]

As was said, men's choices have always been somewhat limited in scope when it comes to making a statement. On the other hand, style is nearly nonexistant these days, and someone in a dress shirt, tie, dress shoes and trousers is percieved as threatening. It's easy to make others look underdressed if they're wearing jeans, sneakers and t-shirts.

My lady fortunately likes me in vintage clothing, loves my suits and even buys things for me(heck, we even do victorian). She consults with me before we go out as to what we should wear so we'll match...I don't give permission, of course, and certainly won't let her dictate what I wear. Thankfully, she trusts my taste and even told me the other night that I'm 'classy' compared to other guys she's dated.

Don't let anyone tell you what to wear...it's YOUR body, YOU dress it. Not them. And Bob, when it comes to my hat, I don't like other people messing with it either. It's the same as your shoes...people will admire them, but it's downright bizarre for someone to ask if they can try them on. They're sized to your feet, you sweat in them, and they get broken in to you. They're a highly personal item. Besides, if they don't have a mirror to see themselves with, what's the point?

 

[Lauren]

PrettySquareGal, Totally makes sense. I'm exactly the same way.

We're just sophisticates, right?

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I forgot to add that I loved my husband's "cover," which is the term for the hat which accompanies a Marine's dress blues. Not the same as a civilian fedora, but just saying.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

PrettySquareGal, Totally makes sense. I'm exactly the same way.

We're just sophisticates, right?

That's exactly right!

 

[Alan Eardley]

Female opinion...

She has problems with a mere hat? Stick with it. I sometimes wear Arab or Medieval costume on the street (just 'cos I like it) and my lady got used to that! Leastways after 35 years she's not going to to leave me because of what I wear.