Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Does vintage clothing attract a rude/violent response?

scottyrocks

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,178
Location
Isle of Langerhan, NY
most of these stories just go to show that life reAlly isnt terribly fair. toads and cretins such as these, who need strAightening out, are usually unstraightenable or as i like to say, forever bent.
 

Rats Riley

A-List Customer
Messages
365
Location
Whitewater WI
My favorite story in this vein comes from last year as I was walking out of the grocery store dowtown, near the square where Portland's many crazies and drunks tend to hang out. It was midsummer, and I was looking a bit dandyish: orange shirt, linen pants, light blue jacket, pink and navy tie and a Panama hat. There was a short, hirsute fellow in a tank-top on the pay phone outside and as I walked by he said, "You look like my father! My father is dead!" Thinking that he was yelling at someone on the phone, I walked past, but he chased me down and and said "Hey! My father used to dress like that! Are you mocking him? He's dead!"

Taken aback could hardly describe my reaction. I managed to squeeze out some riposte like, "Huh?"
"Take off those clothes!" he ordered me. I didn't smell liquor on his breath, and he was as up in my face as much as a man six inches shorter than myself could be, his spittle dotting the knot of my tie. So he was clearly not right in the head. He wanted to take me over to the square and fight me, despite my attempts to walk away. In the heat of the moment, I found I could formulate no rational argument to counter the charge that I had deliberately dressed myself that morning in a callous attempt to disparage the memory of the late father of someone I had never met. Afterward, in the cool light of deliberation, I realized that, of course, there isn't one.

I finally managed to look him in the eye and inform him that I had no idea who he was and to get out of my way. He backed down long enough for me to beat a retreat, with this deranged toadstool of a human being still shouting threats at my back.

That's the most violent, not to say the oddest and possibly most amusing, reaction I've ever had to my taste in dress.
That's crazy! I mean I love my hats and I'm proud of our folks that stick to their guns and dress vintage, retro, Rockabilly and any other title you might want to give it. But that's a level of scarecrow that no wizard can fix!

I mean seriously, I give you credit for keeping your cool!
 

Lily Powers

Practically Family
That's crazy! I mean I love my hats and I'm proud of our folks that stick to their guns and dress vintage, retro, Rockabilly and any other title you might want to give it. But that's a level of scarecrow that no wizard can fix!

I mean seriously, I give you credit for keeping your cool!
That's funny, Rats! :D

There is a woman in my county who used to be a legal secretary and also raised horses. At some point, a mental illness became not so manageable and she began verbally lashing out at people, much like that man berated Nobert. This woman would spot some little thing - seriously, she would hone in on a color or an accessory, like my glasses for example, and that triggered a tirade about nerds (ok, granted that's no so far from the truth) and would follow me and rant until I out walked her or something else caught her eye. Haven't seen her for a long time, but word is she's been on meds and no longer combative.
 

Nobert

Practically Family
Messages
832
Location
In the Maine Woods
Yeah, the crazies are one thing, it's hard to get too upset towards someone who is clearly deranged. Portland is a very small city, a real Gallagher II kind of town, but it is the largest municipality in a mostly rural state. Thus, it has a certain amount of "urban ills" diproportionate to a city of 65,000. If you live here for any length of time, you will have an altercation with a street crazy at some point.

The actual most genuinely rude, ignorant and offensive comment came when I was walking home from work one evening and some kid in his late teens or early twnties leaned out the passenger window of an S.U.V., pointed at me and said--I kid you not--"white ni**er." That's about ten times worse than someone who was just obviously blinkered.

Just to keep it positive, and many others have said this, I get more compliments than derisive statements. In addition, the derision comes mainly from other men, while most of the compliments come from women. I know which side my bread is buttered on.
 

Rats Riley

A-List Customer
Messages
365
Location
Whitewater WI
Do you think that maybe age is also a factor?

For instance; I'm thinking that a younger or more opinionated person making a stupid and immature comment toward someone who appears closer to their age would be more likely than if they made a comment toward someone older... I say this because ever since I hit 30... THEN 40, my "give a $hit" has been broken and I do things for me, rather than worrying what others think. The way I figure; this is my world and everyone else is just visiting. So why not enjoy the simple things!
 

Nobert

Practically Family
Messages
832
Location
In the Maine Woods
Well, as for the age thing, that's possible. I'm 39 but look about 26, so I may not get the "age deference."

As for a lot of that stuff, I've been a nerd/spaz/geek/weirdo ever since grade school, and coming in for teasing and bullying was something I came in for early. I'm lucky in that sense, that I developed my "Think what you like about me, I'll look and behave as I please provided that I'm not hurting anyone" attitude quite some time ago. I am thankful that I have a reasonably thick skin about that sort of thing.
 

scottyrocks

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,178
Location
Isle of Langerhan, NY
Generally, I have found that age and ignorance are inversely proportional. 'Stupidity' seems to be greater when age is lower. Thankfully, many people grow out of it. And some don't.
 

Gene

Practically Family
Messages
963
Location
New Orleans, La.
And some don't.

When I was in elementary school, I used to think adults had all the answers and that when I grew up I would know it all.

I thought in high school that when I got out people would be more accepting of people that are different than the "norm."

In college I thought that when I got out and into "the real world" no one would care at all and it wouldn't matter a lick how I dressed.

I was wrong on all 3. Adults can be dumber n' hell, people are not more accepting, and "the real world" is a cruel place full of morons. Ugh, I wish I could be in elementary school again...
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
When I was in elementary school, I used to think adults had all the answers and that when I grew up I would know it all.

I thought in high school that when I got out people would be more accepting of people that are different than the "norm."

In college I thought that when I got out and into "the real world" no one would care at all and it wouldn't matter a lick how I dressed.

I was wrong on all 3. Adults can be dumber n' hell, people are not more accepting, and "the real world" is a cruel place full of morons. Ugh, I wish I could be in elementary school again...

Have a teenager and you will soon realize how little you really know :p
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
Do you think that maybe age is also a factor?

For instance; I'm thinking that a younger or more opinionated person making a stupid and immature comment toward someone who appears closer to their age would be more likely than if they made a comment toward someone older... I say this because ever since I hit 30... THEN 40, my "give a $hit" has been broken and I do things for me, rather than worrying what others think. The way I figure; this is my world and everyone else is just visiting. So why not enjoy the simple things!

I think it's not so much age but occupation. Most people I get stupid comments from appear to be doing nothing of any importance when they make their comment, so it could be that they are bored and possibly jealous of my perceived wealth. That goes for people of all ages, except the retired who may have less to do but are usually quite friendly to me. People who appear to have a good job (based on what they are wearing and their general demeanour) rarely if ever make comments. Students (at least those who appear to be hard working) also hardly ever make silly comments.

So I think it's laziness, boredom or jealousy (or all three) that lead people to make the comments most of the time.

In regards to compliments, the vast majority of them come from elderly people or friends. The remaining comments usually come from the occasional fedora wearer or those interested in fashion and intelligent enough to see that I put some sort of effort into combining my outfit.
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
I think it's not so much age but occupation. Most people I get stupid comments from appear to be doing nothing of any importance when they make their comment, so it could be that they are bored and possibly jealous of my perceived wealth.

I find most of the idle people making comments are teenage mall rats and college drop outs, so there's the age connection. You've got something they haven't, so they feel the need to take you down a peg... Though it backfires each time.
 

bil_maxx

One of the Regulars
Messages
161
Location
Ontario, Canada
I find most of the idle people making comments are teenage mall rats and college drop outs, so there's the age connection. You've got something they haven't, so they feel the need to take you down a peg... Though it backfires each time.

Absolutely correct. They're opinion should be like the dust beneath your chariot wheels as Bertie Wooster likes to say. Not worth your time.
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
I find most of the idle people making comments are teenage mall rats and college drop outs, so there's the age connection. You've got something they haven't, so they feel the need to take you down a peg... Though it backfires each time.

Agreed, but it's not just age as lack of anything productive to do also plays a role. I find that those who are in college and working hard are far less likely to make the silly comments because they don't feel as jealous (if anything they sometimes compliment me).
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
Agreed, but it's not just age as lack of anything productive to do also plays a role. I find that those who are in college and working hard are far less likely to make the silly comments because they don't feel as jealous (if anything they sometimes compliment me).

OT: For sure - That college student would have been me lol Though there were far more semi, quasi, and complete drop-outs to contend with.
 

Kabel

Familiar Face
Messages
90
Location
Arnhem (Netherlands)
Last winter I bought two pairs of nicely pleated pants with a high waist, combined that with a dress shirt and black and white cap toe shoe's. I've gotten some compliments from people for dressing the way I do, but there was this pair at my college (studied graphic design) that felt the need to laugh at me on a daily basis. You would expect that people in a more creative enviroment to be a bit more open-minded. I refuse to let it get to me. One day it did sort of get to me, because I was in a bit of a mood and gave the guy of the pair the evil eye for a substantial amount of time. After that there was no more laughter or remarks. At 23 I feel disconnected a lot with the people who are the same age as me, which is a shame.

I think that in essence it has to do with fear. Most people are idiots so that does come in to play aswell, but feeling intimidated by people who are more confident with what they wear is the main problem. Fear makes people do stupid things and that fear will always be there despite age or occupation. In the end I would all blame it on certain forms of media. Macho-narrowmindedness is being made normal by bombarding people with the image that being cool is being an idiot who puts down people that are different.
 

DanielJones

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,042
Location
On the move again...
It's funny. The ones that I find that harass others for being different, are, for the lack of a better word, primitive. It is their reptilian complex of their brains that give off the fight or flight attitude. Like most of ancient humanity, and some modern, if something is different, it confuses them and thus they are afraid of it. If they are afraid of it, they hate it, and if they hate it they have this uncontrollable urge to destroy. They have someone better dressed than they, and all of a sudden all of their inadequacies come to mind and they assume that you think that you are better than they are. And in a lot of those cases you are, but are humble enough not to mention it.
Even our friends and family have fears like this. I hear about it all the time. It took some of my friends a while to adjust, but they were used to me re-inventing myself periodically. Now that I've settled into this it is no big deal to them. It is just me and they don't fear that I'm going to rub my style off on them any more. They often ask where I find the stuff I have and give me compliments. Most of their razzing was good natured and never violent, but it was something that made them scared deep down so their reptilian complex had to lash out until it realized that this was not something that was going to hurt them. It was different, they feared it, hated it and wanted to destroy it.

Other people have it worse. More caveman like. They'll act out to look tough, like a juvenile gorilla trying to look tough and show off to his friends. He may not be a silver back but he is on his way. And of course they feel safer and braver in numbers, just like any primate or caveman. Like I said earlier, primitive.

I'm quite sure that Cromagnon reacted to Homo Sapiens in a similar fashion. They reacted violently to someone different, but tended to get outsmarted. And it still occurs to this day.

Anyway, that is my S.W.A.G. theory on this subject. It is the one explanation of their behavior that makes sense to me.

Cheers!

Dan
 

DanielJones

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,042
Location
On the move again...
And of course the idea that a person tries to take care of their appearance all of a sudden the primitive mind automatically goes into the knee jerk reaction of, "he's gay". It is not a new notion to this era either. Actors like Cary Grant got those accusations 70 years ago. Even in an age when everyone dressed better than they do now. He just stepped it up a fe notches and thus you have the comments. It is just the primitive mind "reacting" to something extraordinary.

Cheers!

Dan
 

Shangas

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,116
Location
Melbourne, Australia
You're in the right place, friend. I'm 20 and feel the same way. People our age don't get it. Too detached from what's happened in the past to understand any of it.

If it's quite alright, here's another twenties fellow wishing to join the club. Do I get a complementary lint-brush and tin of Kiwi shoe-polish?
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,278
Messages
3,077,781
Members
54,221
Latest member
magyara
Top