Does anyone else have difficulty sharing a bed?

[Miss sofia]

I get the bed to myself at the moment as i'm only courting at the moment, so it's all good, but in the past it really used to drive me mad as my sons father used to fidget and snore and i'm a very light sleeper so it was hell, especially if he had had a drink then i knew it was going to be like sleeping in a saw mill! Although to be fair to him, he used to get woken up alot as i like to wrap myself in the duvet and sleep in a star-shape, so the poor thing would be shivering and hanging on to the edge of the bed for dear life sometimes haha. We compromised with ear plugs or he would ocassionally sleep downstairs and i bought two duvets! I have to say i'm dreading the day when i have to share a bed with someone again full time, it's a king size and i love having it all to myself!

 

[Berlin]

The question is does the boyfriend keep the hubby awake? Or does he only stay over during the week when the hubby is away.
Ok sorry I couldn't help myself there, not mean spirited just struck me as funny. Berlin are Hubby and Boyfriend the same person? Usually once a married we don't call them a boyfriend anymore well at least not in my part of the world. Or are you saying you have one and another on the side?

Haha sorry. I am not married. Boyfriend and hubby are the same person. Aswell I am very loyal and don't cheat on him
I think I used the wrong word. Hmm..language difficulties I think.
Hubby is a common used word in my country.

Let me change it for further confusion.

 

[lareine]

Haha sorry. I am not married. Boyfriend and hubby are the same person. Aswell I am very loyal and don't cheat on him
I think I used the wrong word. Hmm..language difficulties I think.
Hubby is a common used word in my country.

Let me change it for further confusion.

Hubby is short for husband -- it only applies if you are married! That was funny though lol

My hubby arrives back in the country in 36 hours, after three weeks away. I love him and miss him, but I will also miss having the bed to myself!

 

[Berlin]

Hubby is short for husband -- it only applies if you are married! That was funny though lol

Haha yeah, that makes sense ofcourse!
Here it has a different meaning.
Can understand that it's quite confusing!
I might use a translator next time I am posting hehe lol

 

[TillyMilly]

Quick male perspective if I may. We men get the benefit of having someone soft who smells nice in the bed, so any female bedmate is welcome.lol

Bill, I'd like to say them same but I get the dubious 'benefit' of cuddling up to someone hard and smelly! (Sorry- to the Hubbie!)

Well we finally got the second bed and set him up in a separte bedroom, complete with Darleks- and now he loves it so much he even watches TV in bed (which he did'nt do before) and I can't tempt him to cuddle me till we sleep antymore!

BUT we are both getting a good nights sleep, I'm not waking him up by my restless legs and insomnia and he's not waking me up with snoring and heavy breathing and my hair is'nt greasy every morning beacuse he has terrible night sweats.

The only problem is that I bought an Edwardian style dressing table to match the HUGE ornate wooden Bed and the chests of drawers- which is his taste- mine is more sleek modern Art Deco- and all the Art Deco furniture is in the other bedroom- what to do? Do I keep the bed and the dressing table or do I try to find an dressing table to match the sleek furniture? The Edwardian stuff is medium oak and would go best with soft coloured walls and the sleek stuff is very dark brown and would go well withthe red walls that i was planning. Arrgh!

 

[MissHannah]

Thanks for the reminder Tishkaminx: the night sweats - I totally forgot about those! I get them occasionally but my bloke gets them a lot of the time and when he does the sheets, pillow, duvet and even the mattress get soaking wet. He is also a wrecker of pillows - he screws them up against the headboard and they get all mangled and useless within quite a short space of time.

 

[Puzzicato]

I thought it was only my husband who destroyed pillows like that!

 

[ZombieGirl]

Must be a husband thing... his is always mushed up to within an inch of it's fluffy little life.

 

[MikeBravo]

It seems that many of these issues , not sure about the night sweats, may be caused by sleep apnoea -apnea in US. Snoring is a symptom, it means that the person actually stops breathing sometimes for many seconds or up to a minute in extreme cases. And not just once in a night but continually.

I was diagnosed earlier this year. There are a few options available, either as CPAP machine which pumps air into the mouth and nasal cavity, or the option I chose, a dental appliance that moves the jaw forward, thus stopping the snoring

Since then I am sleeping much much better, wake up refreshed and my legs are no longer tired from "restless leg syndrome" where ones legs move about during the night. Here's a link, look into it as the negative health effects are many: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/obstructive-sleep-apnea/DS00968

 

[annet]

i LOVE sleeping next to my boyfriend. we don't live together so it's a weekend thing, with time to wake up quietly and cuddle. i sleep a lot better with him next to me than when i'm on my own: we both sleep on our right side and fall asleep spooning. it does help that we're both heavy sleepers, and he doesn't snore! there have been the occasional incidents when his arm got numb in his sleep and he started waving it around, hitting me in the process... but my favourite thing is that when he starts mumbling i can have an actual, absurd conversation with him in his sleep. it usually goes like this:

boyfriend: "mumble"
me: sorry, did i wake you up?
boyfriend: no no, it's ok, i don't think so
me: what? are you awake now?
boyfriend: there's camels all over, woah
me: what?
boyfriend: sorry if i don't make sense, i'm still asleep.

i don't know what it would be if it wasn't like this. it's not very common here to have separate beds, and looking at my future, i would have to win the lottery before i could afford a place to live that allows room for an extra bedroom! my father and stepmother do sleep separately: my father snores a LOT and even though he gets medication for it (a spray that stops the snoring completely, and it works) his partner is so paranoid about him starting to snore anyway that she gets all stressed out and can't sleep at all.

 

[TillyMilly]

Well it's been acouple of months now and it's great. We have completly seperate rooms ( we have no kids so we have the space for it) and he is loving having his own room- his own personal little oasis. I like having my own space to read and sttle down at night in my own time. I don't think we'll go back to sharing a room a part from at weekends, which are lovely.

 

[LittleMissPussyCat]

I love sharing a bed, I hate it when hubby is away and then i really struggle to sleep.

 

[KittyT]

I just started living on my own and am totally loving having the whole bed to myself. I sleep so much better now.

My cat seems to be mad at me though, and will no longer sleep under the covers with me. Sleeping with a man is a pain, but I do love sleeping with my boycat.

 

[cherry lips]

I don't have any difficulties sharing a bed. I quite enjoy it *giggle*

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

Well, if I do have a problem sharing a bed, I'm quite sure the dogs and the cats wouldn't mind moving me to the floor!

Seriously, my bedroom set is from my Great Aunt Loretta. I know for a fact that she used it during her married life because there are some cigarette burns in the top of the chest of drawers that my Great Uncle Charlie left. Aunt Loretta would never have them refinished because she was sentimental about them. Anyway...it's a double bed and just the right size for me, two dogs and the cats. I can't imagine trying to squish a guy in here too. ...but then, I prefer a thicker fella. Maybe that's too much information!

My Aunt has the bedroom suit that my Grandparents first had when they were married in the late 30's. Again, the bed is a double but what amazes me is how small the vanity and chest are. I look at the set and wonder how they fit all the belongings of two adults in there...but they had a lot less back then and Gram did install huge closets in the 60's but Pop kept the itty bitty closet original to the house. Go figure!

 

[Gilboa]

i'm in a settled relationship, and although i did feel like that - and admittedly a lot more often in the beginning - now i only get bothered if he is right up in my face.

a shove normally sorts him out though!

(I had difficulties with my coffee when I read your post!)


I don't mind either way.

It is usually me that makes it impossible for anyone to sleep next to me as I am tossing and turning and kicking all night and have done so since childhood. And apparently this increases during full moon, I am serious. [huh]

 

[Penny Dreadful]

We're sort of the same way. My husband snores and I'm a very violent sleeper. We each have our own rooms and only started actually sleeping together in his room just over a year ago. Before that we did little middle of the night visits and it was indeed very romantic! We still bother each other a lot but we're so used to it now we would feel too lonely. Although I have to say the rare occasions I'm driven back into my own bed always give me the BEST sleep. Regardless of sleeping arrangements, having separate rooms is a truly great thing. We each have hording tendencies and have just too much stuff to combine into one small apartment bedroom, and I believe everyone needs their own space. I'm sure he wouldn't want to have a room that was overflowing with all my makeup, clothes, feathers, flowers, glitter, etc. and if I feel like playing dress-up in the middle of the night while he's sleeping I can. I'm positive that this has spared us a LOT of arguments. Having a spare has also come in handy MUCH more than we could have expected. As recently as 2 weeks ago we had to move into my room for a few days while newly discovered mold was being removed from his. We would never live in a one bedroom place. The only real drawback is all the people who automatically assume you have a troubled marriage because of it. Very annoying!

 

[Tomasso]

This is an older thread and it may have been discussed before but........The wet spot.....

Oh, wait.....I addressed the issue early on..........never mind.....

 

[kymeratale]

Firstly, and I can't stress this enough, if you or your partner snores badly, get tested for sleep apnea. It isn't just a case of sleeping better for all involved, sleep apnea is actually life threatening. My mother died at 63, the main cause being congestive heart failure caused by undiagnosed sleep apnea. The constant breathing interruptions put a lot of stress on the heart and lead to muscle damage. It can also cause heart attacks, so you could literally die in your sleep.

I would love to sleep separately all the time. I very much enjoy it when I get to. My husband has quite severe apnea, so he sleeps with a CPAP machine. Before he got it he snored so badly, I would be on the couch downstairs with earplugs in and he would still keep me awake! I am such a light sleeper, having lots of trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, getting deep sleep (I have fibromyalgia). His CPAP machine leaks and can be quite loud when it does. Even with earplugs, it will drive me nuts. Plus, the earplugs hurt my ears sometimes. Over the years my sleep schedule has shifted, going to bed much later than him, getting up later and I think it is partly so that I can get as much time alone in the bed as I can.

I know he would be quite hurt if I were to suggest we sleep in separate rooms. He would make the "you don't love me" assumption that many people have if couples sleep separately.

 

[Vaihingen]

It's really odd to me. I consider myself very independent, and I usually treasure alone time (bath tub reading in particular comes to mind...) but I really don't like sleeping alone. When I'm over at my family's for Christmas, my sisters and I all pile into a giant bed, and the dogs join in too. When I started dating my fiance, I looked forward to someone taking up the other half of the bed.

Even now, I don't purposely do it, but I smoosh books and pillows onto the other side of the bed (fiance is still in the UK, we're saving up!). I guess I have the extreme opposite of this issue?