do you have many friends?

[Foofoogal]

In honor of this thread I decided to renew a friendship I sort of dismissed a few years ago. I think I have finally accepted the times and the seasons of friendship.
Life gets in the way for me personally so I have given leeway to those who I expected more out of if that makes any sense.
I have all these unanswered ?'s of what happened with different friendships. Am I the only one?
Were they going thru marriage, kids, money, etc. problems. Did they just feel too swamped in their lives.
I have found envy plays different roles in life. I envy those who have close as in proximity friends. I miss my friends.
I loved them all. All the ones I gave myself to if even for a time. I loved them all. I don't casually befriend and I am extremely loyal. Maybe some just are not. Is it just me?
One of my friends has gone thru much pain. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I so wish I could do something and am helpless. Is it just me?

-------------------
I wrote this on this thread in Sept. Since then I have gone to where they are and spent the night, then they traveled back up here with me and stayed a few days. I believe they are going to come back soon for a few days and may even move up here as they used to live in another part of Ar. before.
So I am glad I made the first move. This is another couple and we all like each other. I have also found in the past either one likes one spouse and not the other so this is all good.
---------------
This couple had gone thru some dramatic life events and I think the time helped us all.

 

[TheLibrarian]

I think I might be depressed, after reading this one.

Of course, I made the choice a long time ago that my work comes first. I am the boss - I can't and don't necessarily want to socialize with the people who work for me. I know a lot of people in my field, as I travel to speak at conferences and give workshops, but I am always conscious of the fact that I am working when I am with them. Even if we are at a social event, their perceptions of me could affect my ability to get where I want to go. So that limits my friendships there.

That being said, there are a couple of women who really would help me hide a body. No questions asked. They might help me kill someone, too, although my aim is better than theirs so I doubt I would ask them.

Someone once told me that native New Englanders didn't do so much with friendship. It goes back to the not showing emotions thing, except for Yankees I think it applies to women as well as men. I have been accused of being stoic. I think it's more not wanting to waste the energy to yell, or bounce, or whatever.

On the other hand, I am always up for expending the energy to make a complete and utter fool of myself. When I figure out that contradiction I will let you know.

And on another note. What is with all the librarians on this site?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Someone once told me that native New Englanders didn't do so much with friendship. It goes back to the not showing emotions thing, except for Yankees I think it applies to women as well as men. I have been accused of being stoic. I think it's more not wanting to waste the energy to yell, or bounce, or whatever.

I think a lot of people mistake our reserve for a lack of enthusiasm, whether it's about friendship or anything else. Rather, it's the native New England belief in minding our own business, and in encouraging other people to mind theirs -- jumping up and down and squealing and hugging and making a big whooping deal when you meet someone on the street who you know is just *not our way.* That doesn't mean we don't care about our friends, it's that we don't think the whole wide world needs to know how we feel.

 

[martinsantos]

"True", "Great" friendship is something unusual. People that you really can trust in every moment, in any way. Aside my family (wife, parents, sisters, etc), I can say proudly that I have 5!!

Usually we can call "friend" too those people we meet now and then, we like to seat, take a coffee and talk. Never went home, maybe never met their families - but we like them. A few from these I met by internet. Maybe, someday, they will "grew up" to the "special group" - of course if me become the same to them.

Then there are all those we just meet thinking about business. No friendship at all.

There is, too, another kind of friendship. For long years I wrote letters to people all over the world. Of course I won't meet any, unless I turn in a big traveler. Sharing everything in life - more than I can say about a lot of guys I know "in person". Good people, and I think is absolutely possible to make a true frienship only by writing letters.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I have a lot of good friends. I was a popular guy in high school and luckily in a small town, most of those people are still around. Two of my best friends work not 20 feet from me all day long. I still see my best friend from high school a couple times a week.

 

[CharlieB]

My wife and I get into this all the time. She has a few really close freinds and does a lot with them. She then has a lot of just acquaintances.

I, on the other hand, have many freinds (more then just acquaintance), but no really close ones that i do a lot with.

I believe this may be a factor of how introverted vs extroverted one is. I am very extroverted (I have taken many of those personality tests, and always end up in this category) where she is less so.

Anyone else notice this trend?

 

[150719541]

I have many friends, my job ( swimming coach) in 4 teams during 35 years has made me a man with friends every where, each year in national games or meets in different cities, them go to meet me and It make feel good ¡¡¡¡¡¡

 

[Geiamama]

I'm a bit like Marmite, you either love me or hate me and I wouldn't have it any other way. So although I have a wide circle of school run mums that I smile and say hello to, I have only a small group of very close friends and one that may as well be my sister. I'm Godmother to her children, she's Godmother to mine, we talk on the phone every day even though she only lives across the road and we never go more than a couple of days without seeing each other.

 

[RadioWave]

Relevant. I'd be lying if I said I never experienced these kind of encounters before:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/four-levels-of-social-entrapment.html

 

[green papaya]

I have no true friends and mostly casual aquantances, my family are my best friends

 

[John in Covina]

I have a number of best friends that are here in Southern California through my church, I have a number of very good friends from Church and from the Fedora Lounge, I have a number of good friends and just friends that have come through a variety of repeated social gatherings sharing a common theme, such as at the Stuffed Sandwich in San Gabriel revolving mostly around the really good beers they sell. I have some from the Southern California Pen Collectors Club and the Fedora Lounge. I have some that are from old work places.

I guess i am a bit more social than I realized.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I wonder why no one mentioned their pets?

Can inanimate objects be a friend, like a good book or a diary?

 

[Chad Sanborn]

I have less than 5 good friends. But hundreds of acquaintances. I meet lots of people all the time that are friendly to me and I can talk to casually. But only a few of them are really really good friends. People I can talk to about anything. My best friend is my dog. He knows all my secrets Hes there for me rain or shine happy or sad. Most importantly, he always listens.

 

[rue]

I have less than 5 good friends. But hundreds of acquaintances. I meet lots of people all the time that are friendly to me and I can talk to casually. But only a few of them are really really good friends. People I can talk to about anything. My best friend is my dog. He knows all my secrets Hes there for me rain or shine happy or sad. Most importantly, he always listens.

.... and never talks back. That's the best part

 

[Xavier_Godshore]

Tend to agree.
Welcome, BTW.

Thanks for the welcome, Mav!

 

[LizzieMaine]

I wonder why no one mentioned their pets?

Can inanimate objects be a friend, like a good book or a diary?

Pets are beyond mere friends.

As for books, we can turn to Groucho for wisdom on this point: "Outside of a dog, books are man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

 

[AtomicEraTom]

My cats, Earl and Randy are awesome friends. Both of them are at different windows by my main door when I get home from work, waiting. They sit on the couch with me all night, and then when I go to sleep Earl sleeps on my stomach and Randy beside me.

 

[John in Covina]

I wonder why no one mentioned their pets?

My Dachshund Max is my "child" I consider him family.

 

[HungaryTom]

No.
Just a few - which is enough.
I had one dog once a while ago.
She wasn't a friend rather an animal.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

My Dachshund Max is my "child" I consider him family.

Not all "family" is friendly, and friends can be family. Some might even say they know people who are more like animals.

But I get what you mean.