Do ladies really have to dress old & frumpy after a certain age...?

[ThesFlishThngs]

I agree, kamikat. It's not a matter of long hair symbolizing youth and short hair symbolizing middle aged-hood as much as a woman knowing what suits her face and her style.
Being true to yourself (regardless of what the perceived norm for you age) is the most empowering thing.

 

[HadleyH]

This was a conversation I was having with some folks recently, and how 'society' seems to expect women to dress and behave as they get much older (eg: 50's plus). So, no short skirts, no cleavage, no bright colours, no trendy hairstyles..etc, etc. It's almost as if society doesn't allow women to be glamorous, sexy, in tune with fashion..etc, after a certain age [huh] (and in some ways that goes for men as well as they/we get older).

Paddy, you mum is a lovely lady!



On a different note, yes you are right, I think that society doesn't allow women to be glamorous and sexy after a certain age. One only has to read the "Joan Collins" thread in the OB, and see some people's reactions there, just because somebody who is 76 years old is making an effort with her outer appearance! [huh]

 

[Grant Fan]

I turned 60 this June
I dress to please myself, to inspire trust (due to my career) and health and vivacity, but not to please others. I don't wear miniskirts because my leges aren't made for them, and I don't wear clothes that are too revealing because that doesn't go with my character, but I sure don't choose my clothes because society says that it's fit/not fit for my age.
Here I am a joint birthday party with another June baby. The red cap and vest is the symbol of Kanreki, the 60th birthday here.

And another at the same party. Alll save for the lady on the far left are 60, as the five of us are high school class mates. Do we dress frumpy? You be the judge.

wow you are 60 I would have never guessed that you look so much younger 20 or more years. You are very lovely.

 

[Lillemor]

I turned 60 this June
I dress to please myself, to inspire trust (due to my career) and health and vivacity, but not to please others. I don't wear miniskirts because my leges aren't made for them, and I don't wear clothes that are too revealing because that doesn't go with my character, but I sure don't choose my clothes because society says that it's fit/not fit for my age.
Here I am a joint birthday party with another June baby. The red cap and vest is the symbol of Kanreki, the 60th birthday here.

And another at the same party. Alll save for the lady on the far left are 60, as the five of us are high school class mates. Do we dress frumpy? You be the judge.

Please let me age that well!

http://s216.photobucket.com/albums/...urrent=NorthernIrelandVisitSeptember09001.jpg

I love what she's wearing there! That's the right balance between frumpy and desperately clinging to youth. She looks confident and I like her choice of color. The profile pic doesn't reflect the colors I usually go for (though I love white and that's my favorite slip-over because it's actually figure flattering) but I usually go for quite deep or bright colors. I'm not afraid of color and i don't see that ever changing.

 

[Lily Powers]

This was a conversation I was having with some folks recently, and how 'society' seems to expect women to dress and behave as they get much older (eg: 50's plus). So, no short skirts, no cleavage, no bright colours, no trendy hairstyles..etc, etc. It's almost as if society doesn't allow women to be glamorous, sexy, in tune with fashion..etc, after a certain age [huh] (and in some ways that goes for men as well as they/we get older).

Perhaps society doesn't expect women of a particular age to dress and behave in a certain way, but rather, to NOT dress and behave in a way that's appealing and sexy. Even your comment about women (and since one can never be certain of the tone of a written opinion, let me say I mean this in the nicest way and with a chuckle ), "as they get much older, (eg: 50's plus)", seems to cap the age of youth as 49 and under, reinforcing the idea that women have to catch the first train to Frumpsville, right after they blow out the candles on their 50th birthday cake.

Style has no age. LaMedicine is a gorgeous woman, not for her age, but because of her age - her wisdom, confidence and humor shine in her photos, and that's style, glamour and fashion all rolled into one.

 

[ThesFlishThngs]

I love trains, but I think I'll be standing on the platform when the Frumpsville Express pulls away from the station.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Here's what gets me about the whole thing, and I see this just about every night of the week: the same sort of people who'll go to the greatest possible lengths *not* to look old and frumpy and "their age" are the ones who'll pitch a fit if I don't give them their $1.50 Senior Citizen Discount at the box office. Go figure.

Seriously though, some great posts in this thread. Makes me feel less aged with every reading.

 

[Foofoogal]

lol lol lol

 

[Inky]

Seriously though, some great posts in this thread. Makes me feel less aged with every reading.

Agreed, LizzieMaine!

As a devout freak of society for the past 30 years, you will have to rip the hair dye, make up, and clothes from my cold dead body to force me to look or dress the way society thinks I should at 50, etc.

There are things I choose not to wear anymore, just as any personal style ebbs and flows, but that's my choice, not anyone telling me what or what not to wear/do.

Be happy with yourself, you're the only self you've got

 

[shepkatt]

Fabulous response, Inky.. I will be 45 on my next birthday and I don't feel I should have to dress anyway other then what I love. I am going to continue to be a tattoo'd, pierced vintage wearing gal for as long as I want to.. and if there are folks out there who think it is inappropriate then they probably aren't anyone I care to associate with anyway..

 

[Antje]

Agreed, LizzieMaine!

As a devout freak of society for the past 30 years, you will have to rip the hair dye, make up, and clothes from my cold dead body to force me to look or dress the way society thinks I should at 50, etc.

There are things I choose not to wear anymore, just as any personal style ebbs and flows, but that's my choice, not anyone telling me what or what not to wear/do.

Be happy with yourself, you're the only self you've got

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Miss 1929]

"Do ladies really have to dress old & frumpy after a certain age...?"

Hell, no!

 

[ladybrettashley]

This idea seems to me to be related to casual dress in general. Generally speaking, younger women can get away with, societally, showing more skin than older women. So it's easy for young women to try to look sexy while still being extremely casual simply by wearing less. If you prefer to stay more clothed, for whatever reason, you are liable to either look "frumpy" if you opt for casual clothing, or be accused of being "dressed up." Even if what you're wearing is not much more than a housedress.

I know that phenomenon has been discussed in numerous places here, but it seems related. Casual-clothing options that are neither skin-tight nor skimpy are typically not so flattering. Of course, dressing up is sexier anyhow, but sometimes comfy counts for a lot.

As for personal experience...well, if i look half as good as my mom when i'm 60 i'll be happy!

 

[1*Cool*Kitten]

Aging=Frumpy

My mum is going on 70. I don't think she goes for frumpy but she is pretty conservative usually in her dress. She is very fashion forward for her age though. No polyester or track suits in sight. She keeps her hair pretty short but I think that is due primarily to a change in texture more than a desire for helmet hair. She's also just always worn it short from the time she grew up in the 50s.

OH LizzyMaine!your a hoot! well folks!I'm 54 if you look at my physique you'll see the middle aged round belly!the wider hips & the lowering boosem!(sp)but.....there is NO WAY i'm frumpy!no way I'm ever going to BE FRUMPY!my dad's 87;his oldest sister is 96!& still lives alone in SF,CA!I dress WWII because it's the style that not only gets attention!but because I'm a hairdresser,it gives other people inspiration to do what they feel is right for them!I came back to the high desert of CA from FL where it was a fabulous FREE-FOR-ALL of colors,designs,attitudes & lifestyles! I wore monochromatic beige with the helmet head hair-doo that was a doesn't/don't/wasn't!Aqua Net was my best friend!I didn't dare light a ciggerrette too close without "tipping" the head slightly in order to still have BANGS!or for that matter hair on the front of my head as well as eyebrows! I've not got any reservations as to how I dress now!I dress the way i want to!not the way I have to!I don't wear a lot of the foundation garments (AS YET) because I too am still learning about them & how to wear them!(ie Girdles,panties,bullet bras,slips,etc.)I was in "corporate america" during the 80's-90's;Power suits were the dress of the day however,I never felt more "powerful" than the first time I wore my victory bandana,my dickies overalls & my black oxford shoes to the beauty shop for the first day!IT WAS SO REFRESHING! then I shaved my head! my hair needed to grow out! get fresh!& now, I have beautiful "Rita Hayworth" glamour hair!EVERYDAY!so to say that "when does a woman need to act her age?" I vote with "When she feels it's "TIME" for her to 'act' her age! but I don't ever want to 'act' a certain way according to social protocols EVER again!EVER!I want to be me!all of me!all the time me!I want to be happy in my own skin!Not what somebody else 'thinks' I should be or act like! I agree with whomever stated "this isn't a dress rehearsal, honey, this is the real deal!"have fun!there is a saying/rule among the Peagan religion which states "Do what you will.........but harm ye none!" & I think that that's a very good rule/creed to rule your life by! do what you will.......but.....harm ye none!(that includes yourself first & formost!)I've NEVER EVER wore plunging necklines or shorty short skirts!reason beign is I've always been a dancer!I've always felt as though my legs were the size of a plow horses!plunging necklines never! If I coudl see down my clevage I thught men could & since I was "big chested" I've always been teased by boys about being "top heavy" my measurements were (befor Meno started in January'09) 32DDD,27,38 I'm a pear!but because my cup size was so big it made me look hour-glassed.I envied my mother! she was a 32B,22,32 5'6" barely tipped the scales at 8 months preggers w/my brother at 127" so.......frumpy or aged? your call!you be what or who you want to be!!

 

[1*Cool*Kitten]

aging or frumpy

**Sorry**:eusa_doh: I hit the reply button to the wrong "quote" I wanted to QUOTE LizzieMaine.Forgive......I'm still "young" at thsi FL!I'll get the hang of it sooner rather than later!

Work with me, Ladies!!! Work with me!!!![huh]

 

[monicacaroline]

I think when people or at least when I say dress your age I mean the followoing. Certain things stop looking right when you get to a certain point. Like for example i have clothes that my mom would just look silly in, like my shorts, they are just too short for her. But I think you should be fashionable at any age. It drives me nuts when women dress frumpy as they get older, there is no reason to stop looking cute. I have a co worker I found out today is in her 40s I though she was in her late 20's and most of that had to do with the fact that she takes pride in her appearance and is fashionable.

Exactly! I don't think anyone should stop dressing the way they or feeling pretty just because of their age. There are plenty of ways for women over 40 to look awesome WITHOUT looking like they walked out of the nearest forever 21. I think what makes me go "ugh" is when I see women who look like they are trying to "compete"with girls my age(19). Women who are insecure about the date on their birth certificate and try to make up for it by dressing like young girls.

Its the difference between dressing the way you want because you're confident,powerful and know what you want and dressing "young" because you're insecure about where you are in life.

 

[chanteuseCarey]

This is such an interesting thread start Paddy, Sir. In my family, I'm it! I am a Spring season and I love to wear bright colors- I own a short dress or two but otherwise my skirts are a length that suits my height and figure. I love color and fun things to wear.

I don't shop at Forever 21, been in there a couple of times with our 15yo DD but the clothes are usually trashy looking and poorly made - and the music they play in there is atrocious!!! I tend to frequent the Ralph Lauren dept. in Nordstrom and have even stopped down by the escalator and sung along with my favorite lady pianist who plays there often on Saturdays!

My taste in clothing runs tasteful and elegant but due to my figure type I have many of my clothes altered to fit me perfectly. I have a curvy figure I am proud of that is in pretty good shape considering, and I WORK HARD to keep it/maintain it that way. Its taken me many years to get to a place of healthy self acceptance with myself and my looks. I prefer skirts and dresses, but have several pairs of high waisted tailored trousers.

My clothes are purposely NOT frumpy but my clothes do often show off my figure somewhat, while still looking overall modest. I do show some cleavage occasionally but only in an appropriate situation (such when wearing a special evening gown to an event) I love to and do enjoy dressing-to-impress too, I have nine full length evening gowns that I wear often. I'm a social Ballroom dancer and an Art Deco Era/Golden Era-file, my husband and I have gone suitably dressed to formal events for years.

I dress like I'm my age (I'm 51) and always have. I work on trying to age well these days. I have an energetic and youthful personality I've been told.

I can knit a little, but I never have made a scarf except for the one I made for my mother in junior high. I have a cat but it lives outside. I do not have an old cardigan. I do however lay down on the kitchen floor on occasion and play with our two Welsh Pembroke Corgis... I sing Cole Porter, Gershwin and other big band songs at the top of my voice in parking garages, I laugh with gusto at silly jokes, and dance the Rhumba, sometimes in a dress like this:

Here's a pic or four to validate my case. Do I look old and frumpy?
A typical day look. RL skirt and knit top, Arianne camisole (wow, my perm has really grown out - thankfully!)

a favorite chiffon dress several years old

in tailored RL linen trousers, RL Chaps blazer

Nordstrom evening gown and jewlery, worn at the ADSC Art Deco Ball, May'09

Paddy, can I come over and hang out with your Mum and go to the theater and cocktail lounges with her? She reminds me of lovely Dame Judi Dench in these pics-beautiful and full of life! I love her outfits! And my dear Paddy... you don't look older darling, you look scrumptious

This was a conversation I was having with some folks recently, and how 'society' seems to expect women to dress and behave as they get much older (eg: 50's plus). So, no short skirts, no cleavage, no bright colours, no trendy hairstyles..etc, etc. It's almost as if society doesn't allow women to be glamorous, sexy, in tune with fashion..etc, after a certain age [huh] (and in some ways that goes for men as well as they/we get older).

So, do you know someone in your family/friends/work colleagues who likes to 'buck the system' and dress-to-impress, and be a free/young spirit, and sod the date on their birth certificates?

I'll start off, as I was back 'home' fairly recently and went out with my mum (this lady was in Buckingham Palace during WWII to see her brother decorated by King George VI..!). She's now in her 80's and still loves to go to Dublin on the train to see live theatre, and research the cocktail lounges! Some would say..."Oh you should be sitting in a corner knitting scarves and wearing and old cardigan with a cat on your lap...! dress your age!!" Haha...God help anyone that said that to her face!!

 

[chanteuseCarey]

AMEN, sister!

Hell, no!

 

[LaMedicine]

Ladies, thank you for your compliments, I am honored.

PADDY, no offense but, after some long thought, I am thinking that the same social more applies to men as well.
"Do men have to dress old & rumpled after a certain age?"
To which, of course, I will say, Hell, NO!, but, I think present day (and the past, too) society sometimes, if not often, expect/expected people above a certain age to dress in ill fitting, characterless, drab colored clothes and stay in the background. :rage:

 

[PADDY]

Absolutely - men can be affected too.

Ladies, thank you for your compliments, I am honored.

PADDY, no offense but, after some long thought, I am thinking that the same social more applies to men as well.
"Do men have to dress old & rumpled after a certain age?"
To which, of course, I will say, Hell, NO!, but, I think present day (and the past, too) society sometimes, if not often, expect/expected people above a certain age to dress in ill fitting, characterless, drab colored clothes and stay in the background. :rage:

I totally agree. Where I live I see men in adult middle age starting to dress the way 'they may think is socially acceptable for a man/person of their age to dress [huh]
But, I also see men of later years dressing like they were teenagers, which..just doesn't look right either (you know, the jeans, and flip-flops or trainers, tee shirt/sweat shirt, base-ball cap ..etc).

So maybe...just 'maybe'... this is more about dressing for your *personality* rather than your birth certificate age (??? or am I well off course here?).

Certainly, the ladies here (in this thread) who have kindly posted photographs as examples, just (without exception) look amazing!! there's no other word for it.

It's not just *men* who 'can' look more sexy/distinguished as they get older (I'm thinking Sean Connery; Yule Brenner..etc), but some women look *better* as they get older and part of that is they way they dress and present themselves (that goes for either sex).

I firmly believe, that if you dress up and make yourself feel good, then you look good and a certain pizzazz and attractiveness shines through - whatever your age. If you dress like a sack-o-spuds then you'll feel like that and look like that [huh]