Dating for Fedora Loungers?

[Gracie Lee]

I think young women tend to be superficial, or seem superficial, because they are very busy trying to find out who they are, and on some level where they fit in. Older women (heck, I'm almost 30, but most of my friends are older) have most of that stuff figured out, so they are able to spend more time on other people and things. Just my take.

 

[reetpleat]

I think young women tend to be superficial, or seem superficial, because they are very busy trying to find out who they are, and on some level where they fit in. Older women (heck, I'm almost 30, but most of my friends are older) have most of that stuff figured out, so they are able to spend more time on other people and things. Just my take.

Younger women also are more concerned about what people think of them. They do not meant to date a guy who others will think are weird, or different, or not attractive or whatever. they also think the clothes you wear or the scene you are in is more important than it really is. As they get older, they care more about the person within and what they want from a guy, not what others will think.

 

[Diamondback]

Followup for Miss JazzyDame and other interested parties: the "Our Own Vintage Town" thread is at http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=11673 ; some of us actually started trying to find for-sale semiabandoned small-towns that could be bought cheap and renovated.

There would be a small problem with the idea depending on how severe its "vintage-Puritanism": I refuse to give up my planned '86 LTD and '82 Firebird custom-builds... and if I'm gonna be doing the research heavy-lifting no way are you guys leaving me out of the final project.

 

[Viola]

Younger women also are more concerned about what people think of them. They do not meant to date a guy who others will think are weird, or different, or not attractive or whatever. they also think the clothes you wear or the scene you are in is more important than it really is. As they get older, they care more about the person within and what they want from a guy, not what others will think.

Not to speak for younger girls everywhere, just me as I remember it, but I was mostly just more compartmentalized in what I thought vs. how I acted.

I was shy, actually, though I seemed outgoing. A lot of my girlfriends could have seemed superficial, I guess - but they very much tiered how well you know someone before you talk about [insert even mildly 'embarrassing' or
'controversial' thing] where as holding forth loudly and at length w/ comparative strangers seemed more a guy thing.

As far as it goes, young guys are often awful concerned what people think, too, though.

 

[*SeaStar*]

I was just curious to hear everyones stories. I wish everyone here was outgoing and tried to meet up and have a social gathering, show off our clothes, it'd be so much fun!!

Well if you and your gal are ever in southern california, i'm sure there's a good group of us who would love to meet fellow lounge friends! Its great to meet people with similar interests.... even if not to be romantically involved!

 

[reetpleat]

Not to speak for younger girls everywhere, just me as I remember it, but I was mostly just more compartmentalized in what I thought vs. how I acted.

I was shy, actually, though I seemed outgoing. A lot of my girlfriends could have seemed superficial, I guess - but they very much tiered how well you know someone before you talk about [insert even mildly 'embarrassing' or
'controversial' thing] where as holding forth loudly and at length w/ comparative strangers seemed more a guy thing.

As far as it goes, young guys are often awful concerned what people think, too, though.

Certainly young guys care about what people think. No need to suggest sexism here. I freely acknowledge that. Thing is, young men generally do not care what people think about their partners except appearance because men don't tend to be judged as much for the style, or clique, or other personality issues of who they are with. Of course you can say they are superficial because they care about what people think of the looks of their partner. But men are superficial about that for other reasons. They just happen to be more visual and care about looks for that reason.

 

[repeatclicks]

For me personality, intellect, humour, mutual love and respect and chemistry are all more important and always come first

Of course. To me those are givens. I would never stay with anyone just because they were into the same things as me. We shared all these things long before we got into vintage. We sure spent lots of time flying back and forth to see each other and we went through lots of changes emotionally, which at certain times was very trying (but being 18 does that to you. We are almost 25 now). Looks and common interests definitely are not everything.

We had our own sets of difficulties during our relationship, only we had to deal with them while being 4000 miles apart, at one point, only through writing letters (phone calls were too expensive, we argued in e-mails for some reason, and Skype wasn't around yet).

I even sold my 1964 Vespa to visit her during Christmas one year. Now thats love

 

[Miss Scarlet]

Having read through this thread again today, I feel so incredibly lucky. I actually met my current long-term boyfriend at a strip club where I was working as a stripper and he'd come in with his twin brother. It was their birthday and that's what his twin wanted to do. We began talking about classical music and found we had a lot in common, such as old fashioned interests. Admittedly Jay (le boyfriend), thought I was lying to try and get him to pay for a dance. Anyway I never ever met a customer, I could have been fired and it just generally freaked me out, but I agreed to meet him the next day. I know it sounds like something a guy would say, but strip clubs really really isn't his thing and he never used to go to them, so the likelihood that I met him there is strange.

A year and a half later we finally got together. We were both anti-relationship, very independent and really need our own space. But now we have both pretty much changed our minds, wanting marriage, children and a twee vintage house and lifestyle, spending lots of time together. I actually feel like I've found my soulmate (never thought I'd say that).

We both have the same common values, aspirations and interests and have grown together. Neither of us can believe how long we've lasted together without annoying each other. We have the important interests in common (such as vintage), but accept each other's personal interests, like he paints toy soldiers and I just don't get it at all. We have found we can be alone together, if that makes sense.

I have rambled quite a bit, but the point I was sort of making, was you could meet your other half in the most unlikely of places, which is why I would never stick to one scene. If I had I would never have met him

 

[Marla]

Certainly a love of vintage isn't the most important quality to look for in a potential partner, but if all else clicks then it's not a bad thing to have in common.

 

[facade]

Vintage looks sure, but what about vintage values?

I pass on the modern woman...

Give me a woman who is kind, funny, and who makes me feel special. A woman who works hard to make a home for the both of us but when I come home is dressed to the nines looking like she's hasn't done a thing all day (even though we both know that's not true). A woman who can inspire me to be a better person without being unpleasant about it. A woman who is happy being a woman and lets me be a man.

What I don't need is someone who I only get to see when our schedules permit, someone who prioritizes me somewhere below her hair stylist, or someone to kick in on the mortgage. I can get a roommate for that.

:cool2:

 

[Pompidou]

A woman who works hard to make a home for the both of us but when I come home is dressed to the nines looking like she's hasn't done a thing all day (even though we both know that's not true).

If you can make this a reality, it says more about your career success than your luck with women. For many, this is a two income economy, and a stay-at-home wife just isn't practical. I think I'd want whoever I end up with to take a job, regardless. One can never be too wealthy, and we can split the housework on the off hours.

 

[HepKitty]

I pass on the modern woman...

Give me a woman who is kind, funny, and who makes me feel special. A woman who works hard to make a home for the both of us but when I come home is dressed to the nines looking like she's hasn't done a thing all day (even though we both know that's not true). A woman who can inspire me to be a better person without being unpleasant about it. A woman who is happy being a woman and lets me be a man.

if she can look good for you, then you need to look good for her. if you have such high expectations of a woman, I do hope that you hold yourself to those same high expectations. really, if she is willing to put forth that much effort, why should she not get the same in return from you? just a thought

 

[Chas]

Having read through this thread again today, I feel so incredibly lucky. I actually met my current long-term boyfriend at a strip club where I was working as a stripper and he'd come in with his twin brother. It was their birthday and that's what his twin wanted to do. We began talking about classical music and found we had a lot in common, such as old fashioned interests.
A year and a half later we finally got together. We were both anti-relationship, very independent and really need our own space. But now we have both pretty much changed our minds, wanting marriage, children and a twee vintage house and lifestyle, spending lots of time together. I actually feel like I've found my soulmate (never thought I'd say that).

That's what I'm talkin' about. Luck, timing and not relying on a 'scene' to make stuff happen.

It was in the cards. Don't take it for granted!

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I agree that that is a two way street. If you want a woman to clean herself up for you, you should return the favor. My fashion may be outdated, but it's still fashion. I go nowhere without being dressed, groomed, combed, cologned, etc, etc. I expect a lady to return that favor. I'm not a picky guy, but it's a big turn-off for me if a woman's walking around in pajama like clothes.

Smart women seem to be a rarity in my parts as well as women with values. Anybody else having that problem? I have a huge problem with conversation when meeting a woman because they don't seem to know much about things beyond the weather and the Billboard top 40. I wish there were more women like our lady loungers around here!

 

[reetpleat]

I pass on the modern woman...

Give me a woman who is kind, funny, and who makes me feel special. A woman who works hard to make a home for the both of us but when I come home is dressed to the nines looking like she's hasn't done a thing all day (even though we both know that's not true). A woman who can inspire me to be a better person without being unpleasant about it. A woman who is happy being a woman and lets me be a man.

What I don't need is someone who I only get to see when our schedules permit, someone who prioritizes me somewhere below her hair stylist, or someone to kick in on the mortgage. I can get a roommate for that.

:cool2:

I don't think I want to touch that one. You might be in for a bit of disagreement from many of the vintage ladies.

 

[MissHannah]

I pass on the modern woman...

Give me a woman who is kind, funny, and who makes me feel special. A woman who works hard to make a home for the both of us but when I come home is dressed to the nines looking like she's hasn't done a thing all day (even though we both know that's not true). A woman who can inspire me to be a better person without being unpleasant about it. A woman who is happy being a woman and lets me be a man.

What I don't need is someone who I only get to see when our schedules permit, someone who prioritizes me somewhere below her hair stylist, or someone to kick in on the mortgage. I can get a roommate for that.

:cool2:

Pfft. I'm not even touching this.

Oh ok then, just a little Housework isn't 'womanly' and there's nothing 'manly' about a guy who's helpless in the face of a laundry or cooking dinner.

And, as Pompidou pointed out, you'd better be earning a truckload if you want to live in the manner to which you are both accustomed on one salary.

 

[facade]

If you can make this a reality, it says more about your career success than your luck with women. For many, this is a two income economy, and a stay-at-home wife just isn't practical. I think I'd want whoever I end up with to take a job, regardless. One can never be too wealthy, and we can split the housework on the off hours.

Ya I'm aware of the modern formula and the difficulties bucking it.

2x the number in the workforce = 1/2 the pay for each and the children raised by disinterested third parties. What a leap forward.

 

[facade]

if she can look good for you, then you need to look good for her. if you have such high expectations of a woman, I do hope that you hold yourself to those same high expectations. really, if she is willing to put forth that much effort, why should she not get the same in return from you? just a thought

What I would promise would be to never take what she does for me for granted. To love, protect & respect her. To let her know she's my partner and that nothing or no one is more important to me. To make sure she always knows that she makes every minute of every day better. After that everything else is just details.

 

[Tomasso]

I don't think I want to touch that one.

Pfft. I'm not even touching this.

lol

 

[swinggal]

Of course. To me those are givens. I would never stay with anyone just because they were into the same things as me. We shared all these things long before we got into vintage. We sure spent lots of time flying back and forth to see each other and we went through lots of changes emotionally, which at certain times was very trying (but being 18 does that to you. We are almost 25 now). Looks and common interests definitely are not everything.

We had our own sets of difficulties during our relationship, only we had to deal with them while being 4000 miles apart, at one point, only through writing letters (phone calls were too expensive, we argued in e-mails for some reason, and Skype wasn't around yet).

I even sold my 1964 Vespa to visit her during Christmas one year. Now thats love

I love your story and that you were prepared to go to great lengths for one another. So many people these days can't be bothered making an effort even when they live near one another. What you have is wonderful.