Dating Etiquette

[Henry Gondorff]

I couldn't find a thread discussing this topic, so I thought I should start it. But if this thread already exists, please feel free to delete it or move it anywhere else. Ok, here goes:

Last night I had the first date with a woman for a very long time. Since I wanted to be as polite as possible on one hand and I on the other hand consider this etiquette to be very important, I did all the stuff I once learned a man does when he is out with a woman: I helped here to get seated in the restaurant, I helped her to get in her coat as we left, walked her home and offered her my arm to accompany her. I just wanted to be an accomplished Gentleman.
What do you think, fellow Loungers, Ladies and Gentlemen? Do you consider this etiquette to be important - and would you do it the same way - or do you think it's outmoded? I'm looking forward to getting many answers!

 

[scotrace]

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?25444-Dating-etiquette&p=481550#post481550

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?49075-Dating-for-Fedora-Loungers&highlight=Dating

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?16259-Bring-back-dating&highlight=Dating

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/show...ay-Our-Children-Start-Dating&highlight=Dating

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?39349-Dating-Do-s-and-Dont-s-(1949)&highlight=Dating

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/show...ents-A-dating-issue-question&highlight=Dating

Just a few.

 

[Henry Gondorff]

Ok then, delete this thread, I'm sorry. I've to be more careful next time...

 

[scotrace]

We'll leave it up. Makes later merging easier. No harm.

 

[rue]

Geez Dad.... make the guy feel bad



Henry.... I think all of those things are important. If a man doesn't know these simple rules of etiquette or manners, it's really disappointing. Another one would be, when walking making sure she's on your right, so the street is on your left

By the way, how did the date go?

 

[Henry Gondorff]

Thank you for this advice, Rue, really appreciated! I didn't know that one and will be especially careful on this point next time. You asked how it was; I think it went quite well - we will have another date anytime soon! :eeek: Let's see where it leads to... Before I left her, she said she felt like a princess this evening. I think I'll take this for a compliment!

 

[rue]

The fact that she told you she felt like a princess says it all...... Good job!

 

[scottyrocks]

It's always good to be gentlemanly. If she appreciates it that's great. And if she doesn't outwardly that's not bad, either. If she's offended by it, then it's good to know asap, if ya don't want one of them feminists.

 

[Henry Gondorff]

It's always good to be gentlemanly. If she appreciates it that's great. And if she doesn't outwardly that's not bad, either. If she's offended by it, then it's good to know asap, if ya don't want one of them feminists.

I think she wasn't offended, sometimes she seemed surprised. Perhaps being treated gentlemanly is not what happens to women very often nowadays? That exactly led me to the question I opened this thread with. Perhaps today it's an anachronism...

 

[Henry Gondorff]

The fact that she told you she felt like a princess says it all...... Good job!

Thank you very much, Rue. I'll wait for the second date before I put some hope in it...

 

[scottyrocks]

I think she wasn't offended, sometimes she seemed surprised. Perhaps being treated gentlemanly is not what happens to women very often nowadays? That exactly led me to the question I opened this thread with. Perhaps today it's an anachronism...

All I can tell you is that doing the old-fashioned gentlemanly things for women has only resulted in appreciation. For me, that's what it's all about.

 

[Effingham]

I actually got yelled at by one female person for holding the door open for her. (Heck, she was right after me -- if it had been a GUY I'd've held the door.)

A friend later told me I should have said something along the lines of "I was taught to hold the door for a lady. I apologize for mistaking you for one."

Don't know how THAT would have gone over...


Tony

 

[rue]

I actually got yelled at by one female person for holding the door open for her. (Heck, she was right after me -- if it had been a GUY I'd've held the door.)

A friend later told me I should have said something along the lines of "I was taught to hold the door for a lady. I apologize for mistaking you for one."

Don't know how THAT would have gone over...


Tony

In my opinion... a woman that objects to having a door held open for her deserves that remark. Just make sure you duck when you say it

 

[Wise1too]

Women ALWAYS appreciate manners! If not then drop or teach her! But once you begin you have to keep it up!

 

[Tomasso]

But once you begin you have to keep it up!

Yes, be carefull how high you set the bar.

 

[Henry Gondorff]

In my opinion... a woman that objects to having a door held open for her deserves that remark. Just make sure you duck when you say it

:rofl:

 

[DesertDan]

I think she wasn't offended, sometimes she seemed surprised. Perhaps being treated gentlemanly is not what happens to women very often nowadays? That exactly led me to the question I opened this thread with. Perhaps today it's an anachronism...

Viva anachronism!
Sounds as if you did just fine, good for you. Frankly good manners should never go out of style.

 

[Philip Adams]

Henry,

My take on the question of dating is that you should be doing what feels appropriate for you. If you want to behave as a gentleman then do so. If you're behaving in a way that you think suits the requirements of your date (i.e not holding a door when you think you should) then I would say you're getting off on the wrong foot to start with.

Good manners cost nothing!

Best of luck and be sure to let us know how you get on on that second date.

 

[Henry Gondorff]

Thank you Philip for that good advice! I will keep you all well informed concerning that second date...

 

[HoosierDaddy]

From my perspective..I've always found a 'happy medium'. Otherwise I am fully aware of 'manners'...but tend to apply what seems 'natural' to the particular situation. How receptive..relaxed and even fun can determine how attentive I may react. For me attention should come easy..rather than stiff or awkward. To seem 'over attentive' can sometimes fall as flat as offering no manners at all. Polite is nice...making things comfortable is usually a great asset as well.
HD