Dating: Do's and Dont's (1949)

[JennyLou]

You sayin that getting felt up is first base? That can't be right...I thought first base was a kiss, getting felt up is like...3rd

I thought the same thing when I was younger.

 

[Brooksie]

I'm a very shy girl. No movie on a first date, means nothing I could say... I'd probably be so nervous I wouldn't be able to talk much. Honestly, dating is like a nightmare. I'm so very shy... I can't even eat in front of people.

i mean, if there was no movie, I wouldn't be sure what to talk about, unless he took the conversation under his wing. And even then, I'd be very nervous. Maybe not so much anymore... I've gotten more assured in myself. But movies are wonderful topic starters for shy gals like me.

I used to be EXTREMELY SHY but now I can even stand up on a stage and talk to people however when it comes to a first date then I get all shy and tongue tied.

Brooksie

 

[JennyLou]

I'm a very shy girl. No movie on a first date, means nothing I could say... I'd probably be so nervous I wouldn't be able to talk much. Honestly, dating is like a nightmare. I'm so very shy... I can't even eat in front of people.

i mean, if there was no movie, I wouldn't be sure what to talk about, unless he took the conversation under his wing. And even then, I'd be very nervous. Maybe not so much anymore... I've gotten more assured in myself. But movies are wonderful topic starters for shy gals like me.

I use to be extremely shy also but I've noticed I have improved a lot within the last few years. I'd never thought I would ever go on dates but I have now been on many. I've become more social and talkative in class. I guess attending a new college this semester was kind of like starting college all over again but this time I could fix my mistakes. Also, on my last first date I was very calm and relaxed while my date was all nervous and jittery but he was so cute. He ended up being my boyfriend, while we are no longer an official couple we are still very good friends. I've also joined more extracurricular activities latley where before my shyness would have prevented me from doing so. Believe me though, I still have my shy moments but don't worry Lady Jessica, I think we all eventually grow out of shyness.

 

[Lotta Little]

I think dating is a nightmare, too! I recently went on a second date with a guy who hasn't tried to kiss me yet, and I couldn't help but think that he's just not that interested. On the one hand, I have always hoped to just go on a few friendly, low-pressure dates with a guy I barely know without him getting handsy right off the bat. On the other hand, I have not heard from him since. Hmm...

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I thought I was the only one with this issue. I hate eating in front of people unless they're good friends of mine or family.

Dating is a nightmare. It's so awkward all the things that you end up worried you screwed up on. I never know what to talk about. I try to talk about neutral subjects. Gets to be difficult when you're very opinionated. My other worry is talking about myself. I hate doing it and I'm always worried about doing it too much.

Gotta love this innocence though. Such a simple time compared to now.

Actually kind of funny how I came across this video though. It was posted on another forum I'm on and the thread title was "Doesn't this look like Atomic Era Tom?" I'm guessing just because of the vintage clothes

I can't even eat in front of people.

 

[Lady Jessica]

Yeah, eating is a nightmare for me. If I'm going on a date, a soccer game or something would be better than a nice dinner... it makes me paranoid! lol

Oh, I hope I grow out of my shyness. I like to meet people from sites like this, and I find I go red and stammer and don't get jokes and am generally as socially awkward as it gets. It's annoying when I've talked to them a lot on the internet, because I know them and... sigh. Oh well. Maybe I'll just be shy forever!

I don't know if he's into you, I hope he is! I want a guy like that, only maybe he should show some inclination that he wants to keep seeing me... and a kiss isn't so bad, by the second date... Hmmm... I'm not sure I know what I want. It'll come to me eventually, I suppose.

 

[JennyLou]

Yeah, eating is a nightmare for me. If I'm going on a date, a soccer game or something would be better than a nice dinner... it makes me paranoid! lol

Oh, I hope I grow out of my shyness. I like to meet people from sites like this, and I find I go red and stammer and don't get jokes and am generally as socially awkward as it gets. It's annoying when I've talked to them a lot on the internet, because I know them and... sigh. Oh well. Maybe I'll just be shy forever!

Oh, I'm still socially awkward but you learn to live with it.

 

[Brooksie]

JennyLou and LadyJessica - not wanting to scare you but I will admit I am 40 and at times I am still socially awkward but as JennyLou said you do learn to live with it. The first few Fedora Lounge events (mind you that prior to this I have been to a lot of gathering and parties and events etc...so its not like I don't get out...) I was pretty quiet and I did a lot of listening and I made fast friends with the two people on either side of me because people love to talk to a good listener so this is one way to get around some awkwardness (sorry I am really tired and a horrible speller too!lol ). I also have the tendency to be kind of klutzy too in these situations when I am around people I don't know (which is funny because the people I do know say I am graceful) and what I do in a situation where I may be klutzy is careful possition of my body and parts for example if I am going to the restroom I walk very lady like to it - I do not clomp or swing arms (maybe hips but no arms) because that is a disaster waiting to happen also while sitting at the table if I am not careful I have the tendency to knock things off such as glasses filled with liquid and that is even prior to a drink or two. So in this case I keep my hands together lady like in my lap and I am mindful of where the glasses are. So I hope this helps the others out there that suffer from this too. One more thing ladies keep your legs crossed at the ankle not at the knee if is far more lady like, better for your circulation and less chances you will kick somebody because heaven knows I have done that too! After a while you get good at faking it (social, graceful and put together) at least I have and nobody really knows that I am not unless I tell them. Plus when you are dressed in vintage you automatically look put together and ladylike which helps also.

Brooksie

 

[JennyLou]

Thanks for sharing Brooksie and thank you for the advice.

 

[Brooksie]

I know what you ladies are going though so I am glad to be able to share. I have been meeting with my Fedora Lounge gang now off and on since 2006 so I am no longer awkward around them anylonger that went away after the first few meetings... so it does get better. I personally do much better one on one than in a group but I do like to go out in a group but as I mentioned before when it comes to a first date then I am all jitters.

Brooksie

 

[Diamondback]

Yeah, eating is a nightmare for me. If I'm going on a date, a soccer game or something would be better than a nice dinner... it makes me paranoid! lol

There is an alternate option to deal with that: make the meal be something that nobody can eat gracefully--that way, they're just as awkward as you are, so it balances the scales.

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[FinalVestige79]

I thought the same thing when I was younger.

Thats proof that there is still innocence in the world...kinda. I blame the 80s.

 

[FinalVestige79]

There is an alternate option to deal with that: make the meal be something that nobody can eat gracefully--that way, they're just as awkward as you are, so it balances the scales.

Tacos! Fried Chicken!

 

[JennyLou]

Thats proof that there is still innocence in the world...kinda. I blame the 80s.

Well, unfortunately there are only a few who thought that innocently. Now first base is more of like what Lady Day described.

 

[FinalVestige79]

But its the idea between what the person thinks it is and what is really seems to be. Thats my point. Individual innocence.

 

[Diamondback]

Well, unfortunately there are only a few who thought that innocently. Now first base is more of like what Lady Day described.

For a lot of our generations--for me, "first base" would mean getting a date period.lol (Then again, on my scale "home run" just means a longer-term relationship... bear in mind, I'm coming from being painfully aware that my background won't let me truthfully say that I can nor even should be trusted, and thus for me the whole thing is looking for an opportunity to earn some degree of trust.)

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[FinalVestige79]

Geeez Db.

 

[JennyLou]

But its the idea between what the person thinks it is and what is really seems to be. Thats my point. Individual innocence.

Ah, true. Believe me I was shocked to learn that courting someone today was nothing like a movie from the golden era. And I learned all about modern couting rituals from a guy who looked like he walk out of a 1930s film, which I thought ironic.

 

[Spiffy]

No movie on a first date

I agree. The best first date I've ever had ended with both of us covered in lime-green house paint. He invited me to help paint sets for a friend's play and it turns out that throwing paint at each other was a good ice-breaker. For me anyway.

The only exception to a no-movie-first-date rule is Rocky Horror. Period.

 

[Diamondback]

As for shy, let's put it this way: I'd have an easier time enduring waterboarding or even being shot than making the approach to ask a pretty girl if she'd even be game for an espresso. When you pair that with a past someone wants to leave in the past... I think it's understandable someone in that situation would perform as I do.

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