Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Comments You Get When You Dress Vintage

lareine

A-List Customer
Messages
309
Location
New Zealand
What a shame, Lenore -- about the job and about your mother-in-law's attitude. At least your husband is on your side though, and he's far more important than her.

For what it's worth, I would wear your suit dress to an interview in a heartbeat. If an outfit like yours is "wrong" then a lot of us are in trouble! And it does sound like the company in question this time was just not what you expected.

Hope you find something good soon, and your mother-in-law butts out in future if she doesn't have all the facts!
 

miss_elise

Practically Family
Messages
768
Location
Melbourne, Australia
that sounds just nuts - I wouldn't want to work there either. What kind of company has someone conducting interviews in thongs and a sweatshirt? Even if that is what they were day to day. Totally sets the wrong impression about the company.

Wishing you luck in your job search.
 

Puzzicato

One Too Many
Messages
1,843
Location
Ex-pat Ozzie in Greater London, UK
Lenore said:
I think not working is taking its toll on me mentally. I would normally brush off such comments, but it really stung.

That outfit is adorable - I'd wear it to an interview in a heartbeat! Being out of work is terribly depressing. My husband has just started working again after 18 months of being unemployed and I was starting to imagine putting a pillow over his face, he was so depressed!
 

Retro Chick

New in Town
Messages
38
Location
Norwich, UK
I always think if you are going to an interview you should dress smartly, even if you know the company normally allows employees to wear jeans and sweatshirts.

It's about respect. I would also dress more smartly if I were conducting interviews.

FWIW Lenore I think that dress looks perfect for an interview and perfectly acceptable office attire! Certainly more so than flip flops!

It does annoy me how taking care of your appearance, whether that's dressing in a full on vintage outfit, or just bothering to brush your hair and wear clean clothes seems to be a sign of some kind of moral decrepitude now. I know people who seem to have been essentially bullied by other mothers at the school gates just for daring to pick their children up wearing a dress rather than jeans or leggings.
 

Gracie Lee

A-List Customer
Messages
386
Location
Philadelphia
I'm with Retro Chick on this one. In my current position, I wear jeans, tshirts and sneakers every day. I knew quite well the working environment when I interviewed, and I did my interview in a nice modern pant suit, blouse and silk scarf. My boss, who did the interview commented at the time that I didn't look like a field scientist, and I replied that I wore a suit to show respect, and that I was serious about wanting the position. She hired me on the spot. As a side note, she also wears jeans and shorts to work, except on days when she has meetings or [ahem] interviews.

Lenore, that suit dress is lovely, and I'm sure you looked fantastic. In your position, I think you have every right to feel insulted by the dress of the manager who interviewed you. It shows appalling lack of respect and regard for the company.
 

Lenore

Practically Family
Messages
758
Location
Houston, Texas
Thanks, ladies. It's nice to hear I'm not totally off on the appropriate work attire attitude.

I got an email from my mother-in-law this morning. I suppose she talked to my husband and found out how upset I was by her comments. Apparently now I'm TOO overdressed and don't know how to dress for an interview and should google how I should dress to get a better idea. I'm not reading this wrong, am I?

"Sorry about your interview not turning out so well last week, their loss. I agree that flip flops are NOT office attire either. I suggest you go online and Google office interview attire though. You would think that the place that sent you on the interview would have given you a heads up on how they dressed over here.
I think you look beautiful in your purple dress but for most offices around Houston unless very upscale they might think you are too well dressed for them. LOL You can never go wrong with a black skirt/pants with a nice sweater top or shirt… You will find something soon and that one was not meant to be."

Forgive me, but WTF?!
 

Black Dahlia

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,493
Location
The Portobello Club
Lenore, I completely understand as once I was out of work for near nine months. Hang in there!

It's very obvious that that place was not the right fit for you. It seems that the opposite of what your mother in law said is true, YOU were too professional for the company, not vice versa. Something more suitable will come along that is worthy of your skills and hopefully your fashion sense too!

X
BD
 

AmateisGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,126
Location
Nebraska
Lenore said:
Thanks, ladies. It's nice to hear I'm not totally off on the appropriate work attire attitude.

I got an email from my mother-in-law this morning. I suppose she talked to my husband and found out how upset I was by her comments. Apparently now I'm TOO overdressed and don't know how to dress for an interview and should google how I should dress to get a better idea. I'm not reading this wrong, am I?

"Sorry about your interview not turning out so well last week, their loss. I agree that flip flops are NOT office attire either. I suggest you go online and Google office interview attire though. You would think that the place that sent you on the interview would have given you a heads up on how they dressed over here.
I think you look beautiful in your purple dress but for most offices around Houston unless very upscale they might think you are too well dressed for them. LOL You can never go wrong with a black skirt/pants with a nice sweater top or shirt… You will find something soon and that one was not meant to be."

Forgive me, but WTF?!

Having butted heads with my own mother over my husband (she has never liked him) and various other things, I suggest you just let it go. :) It's simply not worth it to worry about what she thinks. Sounds like your husband supports you and your marriage is far more important than what your MIL thinks about things. She's offering unsolicited advice and I know how that goes!!! While her heart is in the right place, you may just have to tell her thanks for the advice, but when I need it, I'll ask for it. :D

I, too, am appalled that the person who interviewed was wearing flip flops and a sweatshirt! Goodness. VERY unprofessional.

I hope a job shows up for you soon!!!
 

MirandaFern

Familiar Face
Messages
70
Location
Houston, TX
Lenore said:
I think you look beautiful in your purple dress but for most offices around Houston unless very upscale they might think you are too well dressed for them.

I see all kinds in the tunnels of downtown Houston. My fiancé, being an IT guy, gets away with a polo shirt and jeans, and my best friend, commercial property tax, works at a company where some sort of hosiery is REQUIRED (which is awesome).

What you were wearing looked great. And your mother in law sounds much like the one I'm getting next April ;) .
 

Drappa

One Too Many
Messages
1,141
Location
Hampshire, UK
Two weekends ago hubby and I were in town for breakfast, vintage shopping and then at the supermarket. I wore a vintage Horrockses dress with petticoat and a lady stopped me in the supermarket and said "Excuse me, I don't normally do this to strangers, but I've seen you a few times today and have to tell you I love your look." I usually get checked out a lot more by older women than men, and most of my compliments are from my lovely husband, who says I look great and classy every day. :)
 

Puzzicato

One Too Many
Messages
1,843
Location
Ex-pat Ozzie in Greater London, UK
Lenore, is that usually your MILs way of apologising? How very hurtful! Although I do agree with AmateisGal that you probably need to let it go, or at least set it aside while you concentrate on more important things!

Last night I got "Have you been to a ball?" - which is pretty weird given that I was wearing a cotton skirt and short sleeved sweater. Balls must have really come down in the world since I last went to one!
 

MissHannah

One Too Many
Messages
1,248
Location
London
MirandaFern said:
I see all kinds in the tunnels of downtown Houston. My fiancé, being an IT guy, gets away with a polo shirt and jeans, and my best friend, commercial property tax, works at a company where some sort of hosiery is REQUIRED (which is awesome).

What you were wearing looked great. And your mother in law sounds much like the one I'm getting next April ;) .

Oh I LOVE Horrockses - please post a photo. Actually, maybe I will start a 'Show us your Horrockses' thread...
 

i_am_the_scruff

A-List Customer
Messages
365
Location
England.
I'm really disappointed to see how some people have reacted to how the interviewer was dressed. I think working in a place that allows you to express yourself through your clothes is awesome and I can only hope that one day I will be able to find something like that.
 

Lenore

Practically Family
Messages
758
Location
Houston, Texas
Puzzicato said:
Lenore, is that usually your MILs way of apologising? How very hurtful! Although I do agree with AmateisGal that you probably need to let it go, or at least set it aside while you concentrate on more important things!

Unfortunately, yes, that is her usual method. Last night she told me that my purple dress was too pretty to wear to work. I countered with "It's a suit dress, shall I wear it to the beach?" She shut up.

I'm letting it go. I figure she was in the sun too much last week while she was in Roatan and it fried her already overheated brain.

My personal opinion is that I need to be myself. If a company that I interview with doesn't like that, I obviously wouldn't be comfortable there. I'm not going to fib about myself in order to sell myself. Play down, yes, but I'm not going to pretend I'm something that I'm not. If that means I'm "too well dressed" for most the companies in Houston, then those companies have issues for overlooking a qualified candidate because she happens to put effort into her appearance.

As it is, I'm throughly enjoying snuggling with my monkey in our jammies this morning. No pretty dress or nice makeup needed for snuggles with my little girl. This is a job I enjoy. :D
 

ZombieGirl

One of the Regulars
Messages
296
Location
Minnesota
i_am_the_scruff said:
I'm really disappointed to see how some people have reacted to how the interviewer was dressed. I think working in a place that allows you to express yourself through your clothes is awesome and I can only hope that one day I will be able to find something like that.

I see your point but I really doubt that this interviewer had any thought of "expressing" themselves that morning. Sweatshirt and flip-flops to me says lazy, now do you really want to make that your "expression" of the day?
 

i_am_the_scruff

A-List Customer
Messages
365
Location
England.
ZombieGirl said:
I see your point but I really doubt that this interviewer had any thought of "expressing" themselves that morning. Sweatshirt and flip-flops to me says lazy, now do you really want to make that your "expression" of the day?

Maybe instead of lazy he wanted to put across that he's laid back? Who knows!
 

Puzzicato

One Too Many
Messages
1,843
Location
Ex-pat Ozzie in Greater London, UK
Lenore said:
I'm not going to fib about myself in order to sell myself. Play down, yes, but I'm not going to pretend I'm something that I'm not.

That is so important! Last time I was looking for work one of the agencies I registered with offered me a couple of interviews at media companies etc and said "They are looking for someone really fashion-forward" - I couldn't go for those interviews!
 

Lenore

Practically Family
Messages
758
Location
Houston, Texas
i_am_the_scruff said:
Maybe instead of lazy he wanted to put across that he's laid back? Who knows!

The flip flops, sweatshirt, messy pony tail, and lack of makeup came across as being lazy, not expressing herself as a laid back free spirit. I'm all for the laid back look if that's your thing, but I got the distinct impression it was laziness.

Regardless, she knew almost a week in advance that she was going to be conducting interviews that morning, and if I were in her shoes, despite how tired I might have been or if I felt bad, it would be my job to put forth a good first impression of the company and I would have made more effort than she did. That may just be me as I've spent ten years in front office and know the value of first impressions. Since becoming a mom, there has been many days of me going to work sans makeup, but it was on before 8 am. First impressions are too important.
 

OneAndOnly

Familiar Face
Messages
61
Location
Ireland
Around the time I finally got brave enough to start dressing vintage I got ALOT of stares (I live in a very small town) which put me off a little bit but I persevered and kept dressing in the style that makes me feel comfortable, afterall I'm not going to dress to make everyone else feel comfortable! Around this time I was queuing in M&S one day wearing a black pencil skirt, black top with white polka dots and had my hair in a forties style, complete with red lips and black eyeliner (nothing over the top) . The woman in front of me in the queue turned around at one stage (no idea why) and on catching sight of me she kept staring, I mean to the point that I went from "oh god not again" to completely getting freaked out. I kept smiling at her hoping she would stop staring when she eventually said that I looked so pretty for a girl my age (I'm only 24) and that she loved my style and really loved my hair! I was so happy that I floated back to work!

One of the girls that I work with has been so nice also saying that I'm the most glamorous person that she knows!

My boyfriend also loves my new look, saying that I always look perfect!

It's little things like these that make it worth it :)
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,668
Messages
3,086,350
Members
54,480
Latest member
PISoftware
Top