Comments You Get When You Dress Vintage

[Darhling]

A new and bit wierd thing happened when I attended a wedding last weekend, I had my hair done with hot rollers as always and at least 5 people at the wedding (men, women - some just aquaintences) began touching my hair when we talked! See at first I thought that a guy was just being quite flirty, but then other people started doing it too, their gaze just dissapeared from my face when they talked to my hair and they began touching it! I know that it isn't comments, but it most certainly is a strong reaction!

 

[Lillemor]

Oh Darhling!lol I'm trying to imagine this.

For all of my posts over the weekend I've not written about what I experienced as a slightly humiliating incident on Saturday in Horsens. I'd gone into Tøj & Sko because I was wearing these terribly tight fitting ballerinas that were pinching the sides of my wide feet so I just grabbed the cheapest kr.50,- white jogging shoes/trainers.

I had white socks, brown capri jeans that are just above ankles on me, white/rose/heather striped knit t-shirt with boat neck, ivory coat, hair in ponytail with antique lace trimmed scarf tied around it and a curl at the bottom, pearl studs and 50s/60s style plastic ivory/rose pink bead necklace. Full but "soft" pink retro make-up. Really simple and just sort of channeling a retro look.

Then as I sat on a chair and was putting on my new shoes a lady stopped right in front of me, bent down until she was eye level with me and said in a low but clear enough voice to be heard by others that: for all of your effort you're still not Danish and you'll never look white.

I just gave that sort of nod that doesn't mean this nor that. I didn't rush to finish lacing my shoes and I took my time gathering my bags and walked out of the shop "tall" with a smile on my face. I felt like a piece of litmus paper though and I don't know if anyone could tell how I really felt.

 

[Marzipan]

Oh Darhling!lol I'm trying to imagine this.

For all of my posts over the weekend I've not written about what I experienced as a slightly humiliating incident on Saturday in Horsens. I'd gone into Tøj & Sko because I was wearing these terribly tight fitting ballerinas that were pinching the sides of my wide feet so I just grabbed the cheapest kr.50,- white jogging shoes/trainers.

I had white socks, brown capri jeans that are pedal pusher length (above ankles) on me, white/rose/heather striped knit t-shirt with boat neck, ivory coat, hair in ponytail with antique lace trimmed scarf tied around it and a curl at the bottom, pearl studs and 50s/60s style plastic ivory/rose pink bead necklace. Full but "soft" pink retro make-up. Really simple and just sort of channeling a retro look.

Then as I sat on a chair and was putting on my new shoes a lady stopped right in front of me, bent down until she was eye level with me and said in a low but clear enough voice to be heard by others that: for all of your effort you're still not Danish and you'll never look white.

I just gave that sort of nod that doesn't mean this nor that. I didn't rush to finish lacing my shoes and I took my time gathering my bags and walked out of the shop "tall" with a smile on my face. I felt like a piece of litmus paper though and I don't know if anyone could tell how I really felt.

I'm SHOCKED!!!! What a despicable and sad person. Agh.

 

[lazydaisyltd]

Oh Darhling!lol I'm trying to imagine this.

For all of my posts over the weekend I've not written about what I experienced as a slightly humiliating incident on Saturday in Horsens. I'd gone into Tøj & Sko because I was wearing these terribly tight fitting ballerinas that were pinching the sides of my wide feet so I just grabbed the cheapest kr.50,- white jogging shoes/trainers.

I had white socks, brown capri jeans that are just above ankles on me, white/rose/heather striped knit t-shirt with boat neck, ivory coat, hair in ponytail with antique lace trimmed scarf tied around it and a curl at the bottom, pearl studs and 50s/60s style plastic ivory/rose pink bead necklace. Full but "soft" pink retro make-up. Really simple and just sort of channeling a retro look.

Then as I sat on a chair and was putting on my new shoes a lady stopped right in front of me, bent down until she was eye level with me and said in a low but clear enough voice to be heard by others that: for all of your effort you're still not Danish and you'll never look white.

I just gave that sort of nod that doesn't mean this nor that. I didn't rush to finish lacing my shoes and I took my time gathering my bags and walked out of the shop "tall" with a smile on my face. I felt like a piece of litmus paper though and I don't know if anyone could tell how I really felt.

Ugh, what an awful person! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Good for you for keeping your head up.

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

Ugh, Lillemor, I am so sorry for other people's small minded bigotry.

 

[Miss Golightly]

Oh Darhling!lol I'm trying to imagine this.

For all of my posts over the weekend I've not written about what I experienced as a slightly humiliating incident on Saturday in Horsens. I'd gone into Tøj & Sko because I was wearing these terribly tight fitting ballerinas that were pinching the sides of my wide feet so I just grabbed the cheapest kr.50,- white jogging shoes/trainers.

I had white socks, brown capri jeans that are just above ankles on me, white/rose/heather striped knit t-shirt with boat neck, ivory coat, hair in ponytail with antique lace trimmed scarf tied around it and a curl at the bottom, pearl studs and 50s/60s style plastic ivory/rose pink bead necklace. Full but "soft" pink retro make-up. Really simple and just sort of channeling a retro look.

Then as I sat on a chair and was putting on my new shoes a lady stopped right in front of me, bent down until she was eye level with me and said in a low but clear enough voice to be heard by others that: for all of your effort you're still not Danish and you'll never look white.

I just gave that sort of nod that doesn't mean this nor that. I didn't rush to finish lacing my shoes and I took my time gathering my bags and walked out of the shop "tall" with a smile on my face. I felt like a piece of litmus paper though and I don't know if anyone could tell how I really felt.

What a despicable thing to say to someone - I can't believe someone would say that to you. You did right to just ignore her and leave with your head held high.

 

[cherry lips]

Lillemor, I'm shocked and angry. I can't believe that happened! That evil woman should have been thrown out and told never to come back to the store. It sounds like you handled the situation well, but I feel you should have shouted RACIST! or something else, just like people shout THIEF! so that everyone would stare and make her feel bad.
P.S. She probably felt threatened by your strength and jealous of your beauty, This happens to me too (everybody loves me, except the select few who are jealous and can't hide it).

 

[Inky]

Lillemor - kudos for handling such a narrow-minded situation with grace and style.

I wish I could say it never ceases to amaze me that there are still people like that on the planet, but sadly, there are and there are many.

 

["Skeet" McD]

Lillemor, I'm shocked and angry. I can't believe that happened! That evil woman should have been thrown out and told never to come back to the store. It sounds like you handled the situation well, but I feel you should have shouted RACIST! or something else, just like people shout THIEF! so that everyone would stare and make her feel bad.
P.S. She probably felt threatened by your strength and jealous of your beauty, This happens to me too (everybody loves me, except the select few who are jealous and can't hide it).

Dear Lillemor,
What a sad story...for the first half...and such an uplifting one for the second. In my opinion, responding in a way such as that half-suggested above would have confirmed this hideous woman in her prejudice and set a second bad example to anyone aware of the situation.

Acting as you did preserved--and showed forth--your own self-possession and dignity. Whether the woman who insulted you and demeaned herself will ever put 2 and 2 together and reexamine her thoughts and actions, no one can say. But what I can say is....your response has at least a chance of doing so. Returning evil for evil would not have.

Good for you, and please add my apologies for our fellow-human being on the pile. I'm proud of you, from 3,000 miles away.

"Skeet"

 

[Lillemor]

Thanks for all who have commented on how I handled the situation.

cherry lips - you really brightened my mood. I had a mental image of me shouting "racist!" with people looking puzzled and contemplating what action to take.

Inky - I'm just generally amazed (and saddened) by the stuff people feel makes others public property and gives them a sense of right to comment on with no regard for common good manners or the other one's feelings.

Skeet - I appreciate your perspective on things and you're so good at putting into words what things I may generally think or feel but lack the vocabulary and composition skills to express.

fftopic: When I was attacked with pepper spray in 1994, my dad wanted to do something to the thugs and said so to the officer and he adviced my dad to be beyond reproach. My dad was a civil employee in the fire department and a city employee but represented a large group of people by affiliation with the department and city. I've really taken that to me. I've only slipped during my pregnancies.

 

[Smuterella]

Lillemor - my utmost respect to you for handling this with dignity, I would like to think I would have behaved as you did but I would probably only have managed to be silent through being stunned. You are a poised, strong, beautiful and intelligent woman and don't let a rude, ignorant, ugly bigot get you down.

xxx

 

[Lillemor]

Lillemor - my utmost respect to you for handling this with dignity, I would like to think I would have behaved as you did but I would probably only have managed to be silent through being stunned. You are a poised, strong, beautiful and intelligent woman and don't let a rude, ignorant, ugly bigot get you down.

xxx

Thanks, that was very beautifully put. To be honest, it's experience that has made me aware of my strong knee jerk, blood from brain to mouth reaction, I quickly lose sense of perspective and I can be absolutely explosive and poisonous so doing nothing and saying little to nothing is usually the most sensible way for me to handle things.

I'm still working on controlling that reaction on the keyboard.lol

 

[moonlight]

Oh Darhling!lol I'm trying to imagine this.

For all of my posts over the weekend I've not written about what I experienced as a slightly humiliating incident on Saturday in Horsens. I'd gone into Tøj & Sko because I was wearing these terribly tight fitting ballerinas that were pinching the sides of my wide feet so I just grabbed the cheapest kr.50,- white jogging shoes/trainers.

I had white socks, brown capri jeans that are just above ankles on me, white/rose/heather striped knit t-shirt with boat neck, ivory coat, hair in ponytail with antique lace trimmed scarf tied around it and a curl at the bottom, pearl studs and 50s/60s style plastic ivory/rose pink bead necklace. Full but "soft" pink retro make-up. Really simple and just sort of channeling a retro look.

Then as I sat on a chair and was putting on my new shoes a lady stopped right in front of me, bent down until she was eye level with me and said in a low but clear enough voice to be heard by others that: for all of your effort you're still not Danish and you'll never look white.

I just gave that sort of nod that doesn't mean this nor that. I didn't rush to finish lacing my shoes and I took my time gathering my bags and walked out of the shop "tall" with a smile on my face. I felt like a piece of litmus paper though and I don't know if anyone could tell how I really felt.

Just read your post and saddened that there are people like that out there. You preserved your dignity by acting the way you did. Just know that these sad people are in the minority! Hold your head high, you have every reason to.

 

[Lily Powers]

You're a strong woman, a true lady, and a beauty the likes of which that narrow minded woman just couldn't comprehend. I was shocked just reading about it, and can't imagine how it must have felt to experience it. I certainly don't know if I would have handled that as gracefully as you did. A big hug, a high-five and a "gee you're swell" to you, my dear.

 

[crazydaisy]

Hmm, does that happen a lot in Denmark?...

 

[Lillemor]

Hmm, does that happen a lot in Denmark?...

I can only speak from my own personal experience and it's been 11 years ago since I had a similar experience in another part of the country where I lived so I'd say it doesn't happen a lot. There have been other less overt incidents and I'd like to believe I handled those acceptably too.

One on one it's only sad for the other person. The feeling of humiliation is knowing that there are witnesses and I know that feeling from the receiving end is illogical. I haven't mentioned it to hubby. He'd be most shocked at my lack of words!lol

 

[crazydaisy]

The problem is not how you handled it, but the fact that it happened. Whether you tell your husband or not, this sort of stuff does affect you even if you don't want to. I mean, it would affect me. And what aggravates me is that people like that get away with it. I've always suffered I wasn't gifted with this huge physical strength so I could beat down all the bad guys as I am not optimistic enough to think they will be suddenly enlighted some day.

 

[Lillemor]

The problem is not how you handled it, but the fact that it happened. Whether you tell your husband or not, this sort of stuff does affect you even if you don't want to. I mean, it would affect me. And what aggravates me is that people like that get away with it. I've always suffered I wasn't gifted with this huge physical strength so I could beat down all the bad guys as I am not optimistic enough to think they will be suddenly enlighted some day.

You've probably learnt some much more valuable survival tactics.

My dad (yeah, yeah, I keep going on about him) said nothing was worth getting permanently scarred for or losing ones life for. Another one I've really taken to heart. I've walked away from so many situations rather than argue or fight out of pride. These days you really can't predict who's capable of going over the edge and doing something "stupid" in retaliation.

 

[crazydaisy]

My husband says the same as your dad. Yet I have this strange romantic ideal of honor and justice that might tempt me to some foolish gesture one day...And I feel that by holding back I get permanently scarred.

 

[Mojito]

Lillemor, I felt an absolute shock of disgust run through me when I read about the vile encounter you had. One might almost hope that the woman was mentally unbalanced - although anyone with so much unreasoning hate in them has a sort of illness, even if it's not technically a medical condition. One can only imagine the life of someone so filled with that sort of sheer, toxic nastiness that is so brimming over that it leads them to attack innocent strangers.

You dealt with it elegantly. I'm afraid I might arched an eyebrow, curled a lip, and shot back "I couldn't comment as to that, but I can see that you'll never be anything but an ill-mannered, borishly ignorant woman." Of course, that would be sinking down to their level, and might escalate the situation. The closest thing I've encountered to some thing like this was a homeless man on a train in the UK who began berating me for being Australian - apparently I was personally responsible for wiping out our indigenous population. And I think there was something in there about slaughtering kangaroos. The friend that was with me attempted to point out that I'd been born in Hammersmith, had a UK passport, and had been researching and contributing more to the understanding of British history in the nearly five years I'd lived in the UK than this chap probably had in his life. After he finally left the train, she told me quietly that the only reason he'd attacked me is because he hadn't had a good look at her. Her father was originally from Pakistan and her mother was UK born, and she'd become accustomed to spittle-flecked invective on the basis of her appearance.

No matter how innocent and undeserving you are of such venom, these encounters leave a very unpleasant feeling. But you won the encounter. You are the one with her dignity and poise intact, who did not give her the satisfaction of the reaction she craved. She is merely an unhappy creature, filled with so much bile it spills out in public.