Clean Jokes

[BobHufford]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

Bonus points for double scenarios & meaning.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[GHT]

Done any Christmas shopping yet?

 

[3fingers]

 

[2jakes]

 

[GHT]

A woman and a baby waited in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for him to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and commented the baby wasn’t gaining enough weight. He then asked if the baby was breastfed or bottle-fed.
“Breast fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. She did.
He pressed, kneaded, and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry. You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma … but I’m glad I came.”

 

[2jakes]

The pros and cons of choosing the cheapest medical health plan.

 

[drmaxtejeda]

Vip

Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk

 

[drmaxtejeda]

X

Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk

 

[2jakes]

Location near my neck of the woods.

Happy Thanksgiving HJ.... save a
drumstick for me!

 

[2jakes]

 

[bluesmandan]

Let's make it easier for poor old Hoss:
I am an odd number. Take away one letter and I become even. What number am I?

A different variation:

What odd number becomes more odd when you take away one letter?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[drmaxtejeda]

Woodstock

Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk

 

[2jakes]

Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over.

The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and
calls 911.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you.
First of all, let's make sure he's dead."

There’s a silence, then a gun shot.
The guy gets back on the phone and says
"OK, now what?"




Btw:
My apologies if this has been posted
before.
But posting @ Fedota helps me to
forget I am @ hospital.

Cheers aii!

 

[drmaxtejeda]

Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over.

The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and
calls 911.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you.
First of all, let's make sure he's dead."

There’s a silence, then a gun shot.
The guy gets back on the phone and says
"OK, now what?"


View attachment 145694

Btw:
My apologies if this has been posted
before.
But posting @ Fedota helps me to
forget I am @ hospital.

Cheers aii!

LOL!

Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk

 

[2jakes]

Sorry to learn that Jake, I hadn't seen an update. Hopefully it's for tests only. Best of luck to you, & please keep us updated. We'll try & keep the jokes coming.

I'm on third day and they are still poking
around. Worse was that mri procedure.
Felt like I was in a coffin already.
10 - 15 minutes was okay. But 45 minutes
was too much. I freaked out. They said they would have to start all over.
I said fine as long as I have the young
purty nurse inside with me.
Although she was willing the docters
declined my suggestion.

Today was allowed to eat solids.

 

[BobHufford]

Hope they get it figured out and fixed soon @2jakes

 

[Bamaboots]

'm on third day and they are still poking
around. Worse was that mri procedure.
Felt like I was in a coffin already.

Sorry about this, Jake. I'll be thinking of you and hope you are out and about soon. I have a few experiences with MRI's. No fun, drugs required.

 

[Zombie_61]

I'm on third day and they are still poking around...Today was allowed to eat solids.

Doesn't sound like much of a benefit if it was hospital food. I hope they figure things out and turn you loose soon.