Clean Jokes

[Doctor Damage]

from The Onion apparently

 

[GHT]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

Summer‘s over…

 

[Frunobulax]

I was at the bar the other night when someone called out, "Does anyone know CPR?"

I yelled back, "I know all the letters of the alphabet!"

Everybody thought it was funny, except for one guy.

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

An elderly man, who at a younger age purchased many acres of forested property, was dying.

He called his children over and said to them, "Look at my hair. It was once beautiful and luscious. But it started thinning many years ago and now look at me, I am bald.

Now look outside at my lovely forest. These trees won't last forever and must be replaced. Please vow to me that, for every tree in my forest that dies, you will plant a new one. Carry this through the generations and don't let my forest die!"

So his children honored his request, as did his grandchildren and every generation that followed. Now, the luscious forest still stands, thanks to the efforts of one man's re-seeding heirline.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Sex is very bad for one.

BUT, it's very good for two!

Kama Sutra wisdom...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Sexual education lesson, 5th Grade.

"Last week, we discussed sexuality and learned interesting theoretical stuff. Today, we want to start learning about the practical stuff. Come in, Alex!"

(Teacher and assistant start to undress)

One kid from last row suddenly yells:
"OK OK, WE KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT THE BEES AND THE FLOWERS THING!!"

 

[Trenchfriend]

Teacher:
"What is the only animal, a lion has respect for?"

"Yes, Herbert?"

Herbert:
"Um, Missus Lion."