Clean Jokes

[Hurricane Jack]

Some people have "natural" talent.

 

[Zombie_61]

^ "Is that your saddlehorn or are you just happy to see me?"

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Frunobulax]

View attachment 248194

View attachment 248193

When I was a wee lad, Jack, my sister and I would occasionally - when the parental units weren't home - sneak into Dad's top dresser drawer where he had a couple of small booklets, about 4"x4." These booklets contained dirty jokes and racy cartoons, which we reveled in looking at again and again, because they were forbidden fruit.

They were probably from the fifties, maybe even the forties, or he got the from somebody at NCR, where he worked. The cartoons you have been posting, while not racy, have the same kind of style and flavor as those old books.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

When I was a wee lad, Jack, my sister and I would occasionally - when the parental units weren't home - sneak into Dad's top dresser drawer where he had a couple of small booklets, about 4"x4." These booklets contained dirty jokes and racy cartoons, which we reveled in looking at again and again, because they were forbidden fruit.

They were probably from the fifties, maybe even the forties, or he got the from somebody at NCR, where he worked. The cartoons you have been posting, while not racy, have the same kind of style and flavor as those old books.

Thanks Jim. They are old school humor; after all the cartoonist is ~90 yrs old now. Unfortunately these today are the last of the funny ones I found.

 

[Trenchfriend]

 

[Benny Holiday]

 

[Zombie_61]

 

[Frunobulax]

I once had that problem with a frog I found in the cornerstone of a building being demolished. There's even a short film about it.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

A fella & his Irish friend go to see a western. Half way through the film, the fella says to his buddy.." I bet you $100 that John Wayne falls off his horse " Okay" he replies.
And sure enough Wayne falls off his horse. At the end of the movie, the Irishman gets his money out to pay the lost bet when the fella says " I can't take your money ...I've already seen the movie & I knew what was going to happen."
" So have I" replied the Irishman "but what were the chances he'd fall off his horse twice !"

A pioneer goes to live in a cabin up in a forest in western Canada & because he had heard that winters can be very cold, he started to cut down some trees to make firewood. Not sure just much wood he would need, he decided to call upon a friendly local indian camp & ask for some advice.
" Hi, Chief " started the guy " I hear winters around here can be pretty cold but just how cold ?" he asked.
The indian put his hand to his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun & looked into the distance & replied " Hard winter ...cold !"
So the guy goes back to his cabin & starts to cut down even more trees for firewood. When finished he still wasn't sure he would have enough so he decided to return to the indian camp & ask again.
" So, it's going to be a hard winter then....but just how hard ? " The indian once again put his hand on his forehead & looked into the distance & replied. " Very cold winter....very hard !"
So the guy returns to his cabin & cuts down even more trees but he still isn't sure he will have enough so he returns to the indian camp once more.
"Look chief, you say the winter is going to be very cold but are you sure it is really going to be that cold ? asked the pioneer..
The indian, once again puts his hand up to his forehead & looked into the distance & replied; " Very, very cold winter...very, very hard !"
The pioneer is really very worried now & asks the indian just how does he know that winter is going to be so particularly cold.
And the indian replies; " When white man cut many trees, winter very,very cold."

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Two fellas arrive at the Pearly gates at the same time & just to be friendly one asked the other " How did you get here ? "
"I froze to death " replied the other "and you? "
" Well " he started " I was so convinced my wife was being unfaithful that I decided to return home early and catch her in the act. I looked everywhere but no sign of a lover. I was so upset about mistrusting her.....I had a fatal heart attack !"
" You should have looked in the freezer " said the other " Then we would both still be alive "

 

[Frunobulax]

Two fellas arrive at the Pearly gates at the same time & just to be friendly one asked the other " How did you get here ? "
"I froze to death " replied the other "and you? "
" Well " he started " I was so convinced my wife was being unfaithful that I decided to return home early and catch her in the act. I looked everywhere but no sign of a lover. I was so upset about mistrusting her.....I had a fatal heart attack !"
" You should have looked in the freezer " said the other " Then we would both still be alive "

The version I heard:

St. Peter to three men at Pearly Gates: Why are you guys here? You're not scheduled for awhile, yet.

Man 1: I dunno. I was late for work and leaving my apartment building and a refrigerator came out of the window upstairs and landed on me. Darndest thing.

Man 2: I came home early from work because I suspected my wife of cheating. When I confronted her, I saw this man rushing out the door to run away. I was so mad I picked up the refrigerator and threw it out the window at him. I must've overloaded my heart and had a failure.

Man 3: I was hiding in this refrigerator....

 

[Lean'n'mean]

A cowboy steps out of the saloon & sees that his horse is no longer there. He walked back into the saloon, orders a beer & then said in a gruff voice; " If My horse ain't in front of this saloon by the time I've finished this beer, this is gonna end like it did in Tucson."
He finished his beer, walked outside & there was his horse.
As he mounted, another guy came out of saloon & asked, " Say mister, what did happen back in Tucson ?"
And the cowboy replied, " I had to walk home."

 

[Frunobulax]

The saloon is filled with cowboys, cowpokes, and city slickers unwinding after the day is done (no doubt drinking "Corn Likker"), when a man comes in looking scared and distraught: "Hey, everybody, look out! Big Stan's acomin'!"

Immediately, everybody vacates the saloon, most without ever finishing their drinks, leaving the man behind the bar standing alone.

A commotion begins outside the swinging saloon doors, and a man comes crashing in. He's about 6' 8," probably close to 300 lbs, and built like a tank. He rushes in, goes to the bar and says, "Give me a shot of whisky, quick!"

The bartender fills his request, and as he pours, he asks, "What's the rush?"

To which the man replies, "Didn't you hear? Big Stan's acomin'!!"

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Trenchfriend]

@Frunobulax

The saloon is filled with cowboys, cowpokes, and city slickers unwinding after the day is done (no doubt drinking "Corn Likker"), when a man comes in looking scared and distraught: "Hey, everybody, look out! Big Stan's acomin'!"

Immediately, everybody vacates the saloon, most without ever finishing their drinks, leaving the man behind the bar standing alone.

A commotion begins outside the swinging saloon doors, and a man comes crashing in. He's about 6' 8," probably close to 300 lbs, and built like a tank. He rushes in, goes to the bar and says, "Give me a shot of whisky, quick!"

The bartender fills his request, and as he pours, he asks, "What's the rush?"

To which the man replies, "Didn't you hear? Big Stan's acomin'!!"

Sorry, I didn't understand the joke. What is Big Stan??

 

[Frunobulax]

@Frunobulax



Sorry, I didn't understand the joke. What is Big Stan??

He's just a scary dude.