Classic One Liners and Quotes

[Lancealot]

It's not my fault. - Star Wars
I've got a bad feeling about this. - Star Wars
It's better when you help - To Have And Have Not

 

[carebear]

Solo: How we doin' kid?

Skywalker: Same as always.

Solo: That bad huh?

 

[Lancealot]

She may not look like much but she's got it where it counts. - Star Wars

Solo: You said you wanted to around when I made a mistake.

Leia: I take it back.

 

[Steve]

One of my all-time favorites:

"You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust."

 

[Doh!]

That Simpson, he thinks he's the Pope of Chili Town.
-- Chief Wiggum


Dr. Hibbert: By all medical logic, smoke should be coming out of his ears.
Krusty: His ears if we're lucky!

 

[Dixon's Dame]

"I thought you was dead."
"Not hardly."

--Big Jake

 

[Barry]

Arnold Poindexter -

Would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization, or during its decline?

Revenge of the Nerds...

Barry

 

[Girl Friday]

The Third Man

Harry Lime: Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.

 

[tallyho]

"You're so money and you don't even know it"

"Saddle up"

"I'll see you on the beach"

 

[Jack Scorpion]

Hey that's okay with me, Lady.

-The Long Goodbye

 

[AllaboutEve]

Just about every line in this film, but I had to pick one.....

"Blanche, you aren't going to sell this house, and you aren't ever going to leave it"

 

[Barbigirl]

All About Eve - Addison DeWitt: "I'm nobody's fool, least of all yours!"

And one I use very often: "I can't think about that now, I'll thing about it tomorrow."

 

[maintcoder]

A few favorites

"That's the second time you've laid hands on me!"

"I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me"

"You bet I'll get out of here, baby. I'll get out of here but quick. "

Who'd you think I was anyway? The guy that's walks into a good looking dame's front parlour and says, "Good afternoon, I sell accident insurance on husbands... you got one that's been around too long? One you'd like to turn into a little hard cash?"

"Khaaaaaaaaaan"

More to come later...

 

[maintcoder]

Not exactly a one liner... but sparkling dialogue!

Phyllis: Mr. Neff, why don't you drop by tomorrow evening about eight-thirty. He'll be in then.
Walter Neff: Who?
Phyllis: My husband. You were anxious to talk to him weren't you?
Walter Neff: Yeah, I was, but I'm sort of getting over the idea, if you know what I mean.
Phyllis: There's a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff. Forty-five miles an hour.
Walter Neff: How fast was I going, officer?
Phyllis: I'd say around ninety.
Walter Neff: Suppose you get down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.
Phyllis: Suppose I let you off with a warning this time.
Walter Neff: Suppose it doesn't take.
Phyllis: Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles.
Walter Neff: Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder.
Phyllis: Suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder.
Walter Neff: That tears it.

 

[maintcoder]

and I read a few from The Thin Man...

so I thought I would one of my favorites...

Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.

(and apologies for stealing someone's signature line, but this is priceless dialogue...)

 

[DanielJones]

Groucho Marx

I find television very educating.
Every time somebody turns on the set,
I go into the other room and read a book.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter.
Some day I intend reading it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

We must remember that art is art.
Well, on the other hand water is water isn't it?
And east is east and west is west.
And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesause
they taste much more like prunes than rubarb does.
Now uh...now you tell me what you know.

'We took some pictures of the native girls but they weren't developed.
But we're going back again in a couple of weeks !'

Cheers!

Dan

 

[Atterbury Dodd]

Joan Blondell: If the dog doesn’t bite you your in!
Leslie Howard: Yes.
-Stand In
------------------------
Crisp(David Niven):If it's all so simple as that why hasn’t somebody thought of it before?
Mitch(Leslie Howard):Somebody has. Me!-Spitfire

 

[Barbigirl]

Job Skeffington: A woman is beautiful when she's loved, and only then.

 

[deanglen]

Kane: "Here's to love...on my terms...the only terms anyone ever gets."

 

[Benny Holiday]

Laws are like sausages: it's best not to see them being made.

IRS: we've got what it takes to take what you've got.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Into every life, some rain must fall. Usually when you've left your car windows down.

I'm not dumb, I just have a command of totally useless information.

Don't argue with an idiot, he'll only drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Divorce - from the Latin word meaning to rip a man's genitals out through his wallet.

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Television is called a medium because it's neither rare nor well done.

To err is human; to forgive is against company policy.