Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Being called by your first name at work

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
I guess I have a demeanor that encourages formality. I often get "Mr. Daniels." I really don't care what I'm called, and would just prefer that the other person use the form of address that they're comfortable with. It does kind of bug me when my 17 year old daughter's friends call me "Scott."

I still can't call my former teachers by their first names.

"Well, Mr. May..."
"Oh! You can call me Floyd!"
"Very well. Thank you. As I was saying... Mr. May..."
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,766
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
If I had ever had the temerity to call my first grade teacher anything but Mrs. Knox to her face I'd have ruler scars on my knuckles that would still be there to this day. (Of course, behind her back we called her "The Old Bag" and other such endearments.)

I don't make my staff at the theatre wear name tags because I don't want to encourage the patrons to get too familiar with them. We've had many instances of sleazy middle-aged men hitting on the girls during concerts --"Hey, you're cute, wanna go out on my boat tomorrow?" -- and I won't stand for that. If a patron, especially of the S.M.A.M. category, pesters them for their name, I encourage them to give him a phony name to get rid of him. All of our girls have been "Stephanie" at one time or another, but we've never actually had a Stephanie on staff.
 

skydog757

A-List Customer
Messages
465
Location
Thumb Area, Michigan
In my experience it's a simple matter of being courteous and showing people respect regardless of the circumstances. "Do unto others..."

I concur. "You give respect to get respect" is a common saying by inmates. Ironically, inmates will keep you honest in your dealings with them. If they perceive you as being seemingly unfair to a particular person or inconsistent in your application of rules they will call you out on it. Sometimes respectfully, sometimes not.
 

1961MJS

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,370
Location
Norman Oklahoma
Hi

I'm in aerospace and EVERYBODY at the company is addressed by our first name in conversation. We're addressed by our first and last name when we're introduced.

One of the guy's I've worked with was reading our company procedures and found out that our management is supposed to ask if we have any nick names and if we'd like to be addressed by that. A real opportunity wasted there, he thought it would be hilarious to have our manager address us by our new nicknames "Honey buns", Blossom, etc. Yes, we regularly write to Scott Adams who writes Dilbert.

Later
 

STEVIEBOY1

One Too Many
Messages
1,042
Location
London UK
When I first started work, which was in a very old fashioned firm, we had to call the bosses sir, and we were addressed by just our surname. It was the same at school and I did not and don't have a problem with that. (Apart from when being summoned to the headmasters office!):eek:
 

Fed in a Fedora

Practically Family
Messages
739
Location
Dixie, USA
As a child (raised in the South) I remember that we were taught to always give respect to titles that people earned and I have always done so. I use them quite often out of respect for the accomplishments or position of the person involved.

However, I also remember when my father earned his PhD and did not want to be called Dr __. He would laugh and say that he did not want to create any expectation that he would deliver babies for people or look into their ears, noses or... Later, he became the head of a government research project and his name became "Chief" whether he liked it or not. This was out of respect rather than from demands or arrogance as nobody could imagine either of him. He preferred that people use his first name, but it did not happen. He never introduced his employees as that, but rather only that they worked together.

However, I work in an environment where titles are very important. One is frequently called by first name, last name or title within a few minutes depending upon the situation. I remember a judge who in court called me by title and full name (Thought my mom was there and I was in trouble!) then by my title and last name as a follow up and later by my first name in the hall on the way to lunch - all within a short period of time. We have roles to play and there are appropriate situations where we must perform duties and expect that others accept the authority of the position while we also hold ourselves accountable to our own positions.

A depiction of this is in the TV series Jesse Stone where Tom Selleck's character goes by his first name or title based upon context and audience. It is quite a good display of interesting human interaction.

The point here is that titles can be an important tool, but they should be used with humility and taste. This is definitely a 2 way street in that people holding titles should be careful to preserve the respect involved.

Fed
 
Last edited:

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,797
Location
New Forest
First name terms were not the norm when I started work, it was very much like: "Are You Being Served." But times have changed, I don't see it as a drop in standards, using first names, but I still dislike calling and being called by first names, with someone to whom, I am not introduced.
Nor do I like: Hi, followed by the first name, especially from someone I don't know. It gives me much pleasure in saying, "It's Mr. ******* to you," whenever I get a cold canvas call that starts off with my first name. That retort usually ends up with me getting called sir.

My friend has an unfortunate nick-name, he's known by one and all as: "Screw." My wife, convinced that he had remarkable sexual prowess, once asked him why everyone called him screw. She cracked up when he said that it was because his surname was Driver.
 
First name terms were not the norm when I started work, it was very much like: "Are You Being Served." still dislike calling and being called by first names, with someone to whom, I am not introduced.

"Mr Humphries are you free?"

"I'm freee"

lol lol
I prefer to call my boss by Mr........ As he is a dumbass and I don't want him getting the idea that we are friends. :p
 

Fed in a Fedora

Practically Family
Messages
739
Location
Dixie, USA
"Mr Humphries are you free?"

"I'm freee"

lol lol
I prefer to call my boss by Mr........ As he is a dumbass and I don't want him getting the idea that we are friends. :p

And there is a great point. Even a title can be used to make a point - either way. It is all about context and tone.

Fed
 
Messages
12,018
Location
East of Los Angeles
...My friend has an unfortunate nick-name, he's known by one and all as: "Screw." My wife, convinced that he had remarkable sexual prowess, once asked him why everyone called him screw. She cracked up when he said that it was because his surname was Driver.
Could be worse; his surname could have been Up. :D
 

Stray Cat

My Mail is Forwarded Here
but I still dislike calling and being called by first names, with someone to whom, I am not introduced.
Indeed.
I suppose it's what they call "being friendly in an instant" - no, thank you.
I prefer to let that "instant" moment pass and get the real impression of the person.. then, I might consider no feeling like: :boxing:

My friend has an unfortunate nick-name, he's known by one and all as: "Screw." My wife, convinced that he had remarkable sexual prowess, once asked him why everyone called him screw. She cracked up when he said that it was because his surname was Driver.
:rofl:
Oh, sir... this made my day. :D

I prefer to call my boss by Mr........ As he is a dumbass and I don't want him getting the idea that we are friends. :p
Exactly same here. :nod:
 
Indeed.
I suppose it's what they call "being friendly in an instant" - no, thank you.
I prefer to let that "instant" moment pass and get the real impression of the person.. then, I might consider no feeling like: :boxing:


:rofl:
Oh, sir... this made my day. :D


Exactly same here. :nod:


Noted Ms. Cat. :p

Yeah I prefer Mr. Dumbass but I can't get away with that. :p Would that be a nickname then? :p
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,304
Messages
3,078,419
Members
54,244
Latest member
seeldoger47
Top