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Are you ever tired of explaining why you live or dress the way you do?

Kento

New in Town
Messages
17
Location
Germany
Tourists are the worst though.
True... being a tourist yourself can also be ...interesting. The last time I was in the states I was often asked if everybody in Europe still dresses so old-fashioned or why people dress up so much "over there." Actually, however, I did get a lot of positive comments in the states. On the whole, I got the impression that people comment more on clothing in the US than they do in Europe.
 

vitanola

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,254
Location
Gopher Prairie, MI
Not too often. The occasional unpleasant comment from a young sprout about my hat, but I suspect that, since men's clothing has suffered fewer drastic changes over the past eighty years than have ladies fashions I generally appear to be "overdressed" rather than too terribly out-of-date. In our area many of the older farmers own one suit for weddings and funerals, a suit which was usually purchased after high school graduation, so that it is not unusual to see seventies and eighties men's wear at the court house or in the churches. In these surroundings my tweeds, cassimeres and serges hardly stand out.

Now, for much of the last year we have been caring for my elderly parents in their home, a ranch in suburban Cleveland. There I really feel out of place. open stares, snide remarks and general unpleasantries form a certain sort of youngster, but unexpected pleasantries form older ladies and especially gentlemen of color.

At home in Michigan, the clothes, the house (which is pretty well known in town, being a regular stop on our Ladies' Aid historic homes tour) and the flivver tend to work as protective coloration, making me feel a bit less exposed. In suburban Clevleand I do feel a bit out of place, and my own perception of myself may well color the way others see me.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
To be honest, there are some times when I, like you Rue, really don't want to stick out and want to blend in as best as possible. I do have modern clothes that are near to in style (or whatever I estimate that to be) and sometimes I just want to disappear into the crowd, not have people stop and point, or have people stare at me. I'm not saying that it happens too often, but it's pretty rare that I go to the grocery store dressed vintage where there isn't an incident. Some days I just don't have time or the effort to take it. Most of the time I find it amusing, but some days I just don't have the effort.

Lately I have been dressing totally modern- I don't have any vintage clothes that fit me right now and I can't make any new ones. Also, the only place I go lately is the doctor's (really) and there I get so poked and prodded that I don't want to mess up my better clothes if I had them, which I don't. It's kind of got me in a funk on top of the medical issues I've been having.

I wear vintage glasses, and for some strange reason, that makes you more vintage looking even when you are dressed "normal." So it's pretty obvious I am not totally "modern." But the consequence is that in a skirt, saddle shoes, and a blouse I look vintage to most people. Since I had to dress up when I worked, that means I always look weird to some people when I am on my way home from working. Most of the time I don't give a damn what other people think of how I dress, but I think everyone has their weak days.
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
For the most part people in my area don’t comment on dress. The few comments I’ve received have been positive. Those usually come from Latinos and African Americans.

The inquiries I receive have more to do with accessories. People are fascinated by a pocket watch or fountain pen. You would think I use prehistoric flint tools by their inability to understand the idea behind carrying a pocketwatch or shaving with a single/double edge razor. You should see the blanks stares when my wife gets when she mentions knitting. She must appear to them an ancient alchemist.

Somehow I cannot get these technologically advanced humans to understand the idea that if you have one sharp blade on your razor you don’t need four!! Or local driving does not require a GPS in your car. I cannot count the blanks stares when I talk about changing the oil in my car..

Thankfully these days I don’t spend much time in the vicinity of drunks so I have eliminated those grade school conversations.

The accessories DO get more comments! I didn't really think about it until you said it, but my 40s and 50s purses get all kinds of remarks.

Oh and don't get me started on GPS.... :rolleyes:
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
True... being a tourist yourself can also be ...interesting. The last time I was in the states I was often asked if everybody in Europe still dresses so old-fashioned or why people dress up so much "over there." Actually, however, I did get a lot of positive comments in the states. On the whole, I got the impression that people comment more on clothing in the US than they do in Europe.

It's funny you said that.... until I joined the lounge, I always thought everyone from over there dressed much better than we do here. Now I know better!

Not too often. The occasional unpleasant comment from a young sprout about my hat, but I suspect that, since men's clothing has suffered fewer drastic changes over the past eighty years than have ladies fashions I generally appear to be "overdressed" rather than too terribly out-of-date. In our area many of the older farmers own one suit for weddings and funerals, a suit which was usually purchased after high school graduation, so that it is not unusual to see seventies and eighties men's wear at the court house or in the churches. In these surroundings my tweeds, cassimeres and serges hardly stand out.

Now, for much of the last year we have been caring for my elderly parents in their home, a ranch in suburban Cleveland. There I really feel out of place. open stares, snide remarks and general unpleasantries form a certain sort of youngster, but unexpected pleasantries form older ladies and especially gentlemen of color.

At home in Michigan, the clothes, the house (which is pretty well known in town, being a regular stop on our Ladies' Aid historic homes tour) and the flivver tend to work as protective coloration, making me feel a bit less exposed. In suburban Clevleand I do feel a bit out of place, and my own perception of myself may well color the way others see me.

I know all to well how they are in Ohio about these things, but I didn't know it was that different up in Michigan.
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
To be honest, there are some times when I, like you Rue, really don't want to stick out and want to blend in as best as possible. I do have modern clothes that are near to in style (or whatever I estimate that to be) and sometimes I just want to disappear into the crowd, not have people stop and point, or have people stare at me. I'm not saying that it happens too often, but it's pretty rare that I go to the grocery store dressed vintage where there isn't an incident. Some days I just don't have time or the effort to take it. Most of the time I find it amusing, but some days I just don't have the effort.

Lately I have been dressing totally modern- I don't have any vintage clothes that fit me right now and I can't make any new ones. Also, the only place I go lately is the doctor's (really) and there I get so poked and prodded that I don't want to mess up my better clothes if I had them, which I don't. It's kind of got me in a funk on top of the medical issues I've been having.

I wear vintage glasses, and for some strange reason, that makes you more vintage looking even when you are dressed "normal." So it's pretty obvious I am not totally "modern." But the consequence is that in a skirt, saddle shoes, and a blouse I look vintage to most people. Since I had to dress up when I worked, that means I always look weird to some people when I am on my way home from working. Most of the time I don't give a damn what other people think of how I dress, but I think everyone has their weak days.

The thing is.... I don't own any modern looking clothes, aside from one pair of jeans that are two sizes too big and even if I did, I wouldn't feel like myself. And like you, most of the time, I don't give a damn either, but once in awhile I just wish it wasn't such a big deal. I mean, honestly.... why is a blue mohawk more acceptable these days than a girl in a dress with her hair curled? :confused:
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
The thing is.... I don't own any modern looking clothes, aside from one pair of jeans that are two sizes too big and even if I did, I wouldn't feel like myself. And like you, most of the time, I don't give a damn either, but once in awhile I just wish it wasn't such a big deal. I mean, honestly.... why is a blue mohawk more acceptable these days than a girl in a dress with her hair curled? :confused:

Because people are weird. Although, really, at least here, those mohawks and face piercings do get bad looks and comments. I get what you are saying... there are some days when I want to still be myself but not have a big deal made out of it. Honestly, it's as easy (if not easier) to wear a dress than jeans, and quite frankly I find jeans to be a bother. I wish I could say I've gotten used to the stares, but I haven't.

I have modern clothes because I haven't worn them out yet.... haha. So, by modern I mean at least 5-10 years old. Once they are worn out, they aren't getting replaced. So...
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
Because people are weird. Although, really, at least here, those mohawks and face piercings do get bad looks and comments. I get what you are saying... there are some days when I want to still be myself but not have a big deal made out of it. Honestly, it's as easy (if not easier) to wear a dress than jeans, and quite frankly I find jeans to be a bother. I wish I could say I've gotten used to the stares, but I haven't.

I have modern clothes because I haven't worn them out yet.... haha. So, by modern I mean at least 5-10 years old. Once they are worn out, they aren't getting replaced. So...
People are weird! lol

It is much much easier to wear a dress. I know girls that take 2 hours to get ready and look like they just crawled out of bed and it takes me 30 minutes tops to get ready. Very strange.....

I lost weight, so all my modern stuff went to goodwill years ago, except for a few things that I held onto for my daughter, just incase she ever wanted some vintage 80s stuff lol
 
Messages
13,466
Location
Orange County, CA
I live in a town with hippies (in period 60s gear), punk rockers with mohawks and people dressed in period 1800s cowboy gear, but they don't bat an eye at them, just me LOL

But that's because you're a Celebrity! :D
Your adoring public awaits you!:p

Besides, James can chase off the hippies. :laser::hippie:
 
Last edited:

earl

A-List Customer
Messages
316
Location
Kansas, USA
I do get occasional comments wondering why I like to wear a suit or sport coat & tie to work. Going to a funeral? Going to court? Unfortunate reflection of the casual dress code of today's workplace. Earl
 

St. Louis

Practically Family
Messages
618
Location
St. Louis, MO
For me, it's the seamed stockings that get a lot of comments and sometimes even gasps. I've never had a rude remark about the way I dress, now that I wear almost exclusively 1930s and 1940s fashions, though I think the slightly frumpy schoolmarmy spinstery look that I sport doesn't draw a lot of remarks.

It's just the stockings. People can't get over them, I think mostly because no one can understand where I find them, how I get them to stay on, why I'd wear something so (apparently) uncomfortable, and so on. One woman kept asking me, but don't the seams hurt under your foot? She was relieved when I explained that the seams only run up the leg.

One lovely lady in her eighties once shouted, "Oh my goodness, look! She's got those lines on her legs! I haven't seen those in sixty years!" This was the proprietor of Ruth's Vintage Clothing in St. Louis.

Seriously, I think the answer is to be a frump. No one ever bothers a frump.
 

vitanola

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,254
Location
Gopher Prairie, MI
I know all to well how they are in Ohio about these things, but I didn't know it was that different up in Michigan.

I don't believe that the difference is between Ohio and Michigan so much as it is between a small, not terribly prosperous rural community, with little in or out-migration and the lower-middle-class suburb of a major Midwestern city. The pressure to conform is palpably greater in the suburbs, I think.
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
People are weird! lol

It is much much easier to wear a dress. I know girls that take 2 hours to get ready and look like they just crawled out of bed and it takes me 30 minutes tops to get ready. Very strange.....

I lost weight, so all my modern stuff went to goodwill years ago, except for a few things that I held onto for my daughter, just incase she ever wanted some vintage 80s stuff lol

I've got this thing that I can't get rid of anything usable... the modern clothes still fit (well, they did and probably will again in a few months) and they aren't in style anymore and therefore not really that great for goodwill.. Or so I tell myself. Because I don't wear them that much, they will probably last forever!

I saved some of my stuff too. And some of my mom's.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,755
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
For me, it's the seamed stockings that get a lot of comments and sometimes even gasps. I've never had a rude remark about the way I dress, now that I wear almost exclusively 1930s and 1940s fashions, though I think the slightly frumpy schoolmarmy spinstery look that I sport doesn't draw a lot of remarks.

It's just the stockings. People can't get over them, I think mostly because no one can understand where I find them, how I get them to stay on, why I'd wear something so (apparently) uncomfortable, and so on. One woman kept asking me, but don't the seams hurt under your foot? She was relieved when I explained that the seams only run up the leg.

One lovely lady in her eighties once shouted, "Oh my goodness, look! She's got those lines on her legs! I haven't seen those in sixty years!" This was the proprietor of Ruth's Vintage Clothing in St. Louis.

Seriously, I think the answer is to be a frump. No one ever bothers a frump.

We need to reclaim our stockings from the fetish-cheesecake crowd. I wear, by the standards of the Era, the least-erotic hosiery extant -- heavy service-weight cotton-rayon stockings, some with visible mends, along with broad low-heeled housewife oxfords -- and by combining these with a firm stride and a ready scowl when I'm out and about I manage to discourage most of the gawkers and gapers. They get the message I just might be as mean as their first-grade teacher was, and that cools their ardor pretty quick.

I don't mind the elderly ladies, though -- they always ask how I keep them straight and I reply "They are? That's the first time that's happened."
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
I do get occasional comments wondering why I like to wear a suit or sport coat & tie to work. Going to a funeral? Going to court? Unfortunate reflection of the casual dress code of today's workplace. Earl

We all seem to get those comments... I always get asked if I dress this way everyday and when I say yes, they look at me like I have an arm growing out of my forehead.
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
For me, it's the seamed stockings that get a lot of comments and sometimes even gasps. I've never had a rude remark about the way I dress, now that I wear almost exclusively 1930s and 1940s fashions, though I think the slightly frumpy schoolmarmy spinstery look that I sport doesn't draw a lot of remarks.

It's just the stockings. People can't get over them, I think mostly because no one can understand where I find them, how I get them to stay on, why I'd wear something so (apparently) uncomfortable, and so on. One woman kept asking me, but don't the seams hurt under your foot? She was relieved when I explained that the seams only run up the leg.

One lovely lady in her eighties once shouted, "Oh my goodness, look! She's got those lines on her legs! I haven't seen those in sixty years!" This was the proprietor of Ruth's Vintage Clothing in St. Louis.

Seriously, I think the answer is to be a frump. No one ever bothers a frump.

We need to reclaim our stockings from the fetish-cheesecake crowd. I wear, by the standards of the Era, the least-erotic hosiery extant -- heavy service-weight cotton-rayon stockings, some with visible mends, along with broad low-heeled housewife oxfords -- and by combining these with a firm stride and a ready scowl when I'm out and about I manage to discourage most of the gawkers and gapers. They get the message I just might be as mean as their first-grade teacher was, and that cools their ardor pretty quick.

I don't mind the elderly ladies, though -- they always ask how I keep them straight and I reply "They are? That's the first time that's happened."

Oh the stockings..... Never in my life have I heard so many comments on anything aside from my saddle shoes :rolleyes:
 

rue

Messages
13,319
Location
California native living in Arizona.
I don't believe that the difference is between Ohio and Michigan so much as it is between a small, not terribly prosperous rural community, with little in or out-migration and the lower-middle-class suburb of a major Midwestern city. The pressure to conform is palpably greater in the suburbs, I think.

I think I have to agree.

I've got this thing that I can't get rid of anything usable... the modern clothes still fit (well, they did and probably will again in a few months) and they aren't in style anymore and therefore not really that great for goodwill.. Or so I tell myself. Because I don't wear them that much, they will probably last forever!

I saved some of my stuff too. And some of my mom's.

They just might!
 

Rathdown

Practically Family
Messages
572
Location
Virginia
I don't believe that the difference is between Ohio and Michigan so much as it is between a small, not terribly prosperous rural community, with little in or out-migration and the lower-middle-class suburb of a major Midwestern city. The pressure to conform is palpably greater in the suburbs, I think.
You are probably right. Since people no longer have to conform to the standards of the workplace (where there seem to be no standards), they conform to the lower standards of casual dress as worn by their neighbors.
 

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