Are you ever tired of explaining why you live or dress the way you do?

[MikeBravo]

I can understand why.

Aaah yes. The gorgeous woman inside the clothes. Can't discount that

 

[MikeBravo]

I was thinking about the boot on the other foot point of view. When do you feel comfortable, if at all, complimenting on someone else's way of dress or style? Of course I mean positive compliments

For me, it depends on what I am wearing myself. If I'm wearing civvies (modern clothes) I try not to look for long to avoid making people uncomfortable.

When I am wearing something more vintage, or even just a fedora, people don't seem to mind me noticing. They recognize me as a kindred spirit I suppose. Mind you, I usually give a nod of acknowledgement of their style and move on, I never actually make verbal comments, unless they speak first.

 

[Shangas]

I do occasionally fire off compliments to others. But it would have to be something really snappy for me to do so. Whatever they're wearing has to *pop* and stand out for me to say something about it.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I compliment other women if they are in vintage -- which is hardly ever. lol I only see my "kindred spirits" at the bar on Sunday nights. And the compliments fly out of my mouth!

No one has ever said anything if I wear seamed stockings. I get nothing but compliments if I wear one of my vintage dresses I made. More people want to see/know about my tattoos than anything I'm wearing. I don't get tired of explaining anything -- I enjoy it. That seems rude to me -- even if I'm just thinking it and not actually being rude to the person. I am doing something out of the norm so I expect comments/questions.

 

[sheeplady]

I compliment other women if they are in vintage -- which is hardly ever. lol I only see my "kindred spirits" at the bar on Sunday nights. And the compliments fly out of my mouth!

No one has ever said anything if I wear seamed stockings. I get nothing but compliments if I wear one of my vintage dresses I made. More people want to see/know about my tattoos than anything I'm wearing. I don't get tired of explaining anything -- I enjoy it. That seems rude to me -- even if I'm just thinking it and not actually being rude to the person. I am doing something out of the norm so I expect comments/questions.

I don't really mind the comments or questions either, but it's really the nasty/dirty looks that get to me. I'm fine if someone wants to be all snooty, but there are some days when I really don't feel like getting a dirty look or two. Most of the time it amuses me (seriously, I start laughing as soon as they pass) but sometimes I am just feeling a little too sensitive. It's very rarely, but it happens that I'm having a bad day and I don't want to look "different" and deal with the resulting nastiness that some people seem to make their personal mission.

The one thing I appreciate much more is how much more difficult to navigate in this world it is if you are somehow "not the norm" and how critically important it is to act towards those people just like you would everyone else. I always thought I got it, but in reality, I don't think I ever got it got it. Everybody here who gets flack for wearing vintage can change his or her look and "blend in" with non-vintage people. There are all sorts of people who can't change something about their appearance and deal with nasty looks and comments all the time. And believe me, if I'm getting a nasty look for wearing my hair in a vintage scarf, imagine the looks these nasty people give others with visible disabilities or people who aren't the "correct" race, ethnicity, age, whatever.

 

[Edward]

Rarely happens here in London. Once in a blue moon some fool thinks they are hilarious shouting some cowboy comment, but really I think it's been a year or more since I last had any experience like that. I'm sure there are those who point and snigger, but I'm oblivious to that by this point. In most cases, though, London being what London is, there will always be somebody far weirder than me for the normals to gawp at, so I get to pass by unbothered, which suits me fine. Belfast can be another story... for the most part, nowhere near as bad as it was, but impossible to go out in a fedora without at least two morons a day making an hilarious comment, typically at present "Inspector Gadget". I choose not to acknowledge the presence of such feeble minds.

For the most part people in my area don’t comment on dress. The few comments I’ve received have been positive. Those usually come from Latinos and African Americans.

I tend to find 99% of people who comment in London, especially in my own patch of the East End, tend to be older black folks or middle-teens hip hop kids (mostly of Bangladeshi descent). Outside of my own "vintage" circles or tipsy female Saturday night revellers on the tube, white folks tend more towards the "walk fast and avoid eye contact" MO.

The inquiries I receive have more to do with accessories. People are fascinated by a pocket watch or fountain pen. You would think I use prehistoric flint tools by their inability to understand the idea behind carrying a pocketwatch or shaving with a single/double edge razor. You should see the blanks stares when my wife gets when she mentions knitting. She must appear to them an ancient alchemist.

Heh. Yes, the reality is that most people simply don't have much of an eye for detail: to the average person in the street with no real interest in clothes, a suit is a suit is a suit. Even when it's a tweed jacket and corduroy trousers. It's the accessories, as you say, that stick out. I find the most commented on things, bar none, are my co-respondent shoes (I have half a dozen pairs or so, and wear little else shoe-wise between, roughly, St Patrick's Day (17th March, when many in the US also celebrate St Patty, whoever she was) and mid-September. Those or spats, though I currently lack a decent set of spats. Frankly, there are times I could be naked from the shins up and I doubt anyone would notice. After that it's the fedoras that draw comment. People do notice a fountain pen. Very rarely is it hostile (and even then, it's only young men in their middle twenties physically, but developmentally arrested in heir mid teens, who think they're being funny in front of their mates, so no big deal). Most folks are genuinely just curious. As often as not someone will say they wish they had the nerve to dress like that themselves.

The pressure to conform is palpably greater in the suburbs, I think.

It's a mindset, I think. Much more common among males, who often fear being perceived as "gay" for being interested in clothes or who seek the easy comfort of a social uniform as some type of emotional camouflage.

 

[Kathleen'sMeg43]

I understand completely how the first poster feels. In public I usually hear nice things, sadly it's from my Family I get the weird looks and snide comments.

My Aunt once said "It's time for her to grow up and stop playing dress- up" (I'm 21)

So I agree, There's times that just don't feel like "Red Lipstick" days.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Yesterday I had tea with a woman whom I hope to avoid in the future. I mentioned that I enjoy keeping house, cleaning, organizing and cooking. She gave me a death stare and said she had NEVER heard ANYBODY say they like doing those things other than cooking.

My issue isn't so much with disbelief it's more about a lack of manners and graceful communications in place today.

Had this woman said she never heard that before, but took a respectful tone and perhaps asked "Oh, what do you enjoy about it? Maybe I can learn something" it would be different.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

It's a mindset, I think. Much more common among males, who often fear being perceived as "gay" for being interested in clothes or who seek the easy comfort of a social uniform as some type of emotional camouflage.

And the end result is 38-year-olds dressing like 8-year-olds with the t-shirt, Charlie Brown shorts (as Lizzie calls it) and baseball cap (usually worn backwards).

 

[LizzieMaine]

Yesterday I had tea with a woman whom I hope to avoid in the future. I mentioned that I enjoy keeping house, cleaning, organizing and cooking. She gave me a death stare and said she had NEVER heard ANYBODY say they like doing those things other than cooking.

I wouldn't mind the naysayers anywhere near as much if any of them actually had anything interesting or different to say.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I wouldn't mind the naysayers anywhere near as much if any of them actually had anything interesting or different to say.

Agreed. I asked her what she likes to do for fun. She stared and then said "I don't know." She wasn't passionate about anything.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Agreed. I asked her what she likes to do for fun. She stared and then said "I don't know." She wasn't passionate about anything.

We see this a lot in the political arena but it's a sad commentary on America today that most people can tell you, often quite vociferously, what they're against but can't really tell you what they're for.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

We see this a lot in the political arena but it's a sad commentary on America today that most people can tell you, often quite vociferously, what they're against but can't really tell you what they're for.

I never thought of it that way but it's so true!!! I see it on Facebook constantly.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Another thing: people think you're some kind of paranoid nut if you don't like companies spying on you:

http://www.businessweek.com/news/20...aked-into-rice-cookers-in-move-past-phones#p1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/05/verizon-dvr-patent-spies-tv-advertising_n_2246973.html

I like my vintage appliances.

 

[Kento]

It's funny you said that.... until I joined the lounge, I always thought everyone from over there dressed much better than we do here. Now I know better!

Well, I guess compared to California / Arizona they probably do.... Business casual has spread over here but not quite to the level of California. And you do run into people in vintage clothing, but mostly people over 50. The occassional hobo in an (old) suit and tie can still be seen around here, too. However, for people around 30 like me, "American style" (i.e. very casual) has become the norm in Germany.

 

[John in Covina]

It's funny how the attitude has shifted a bit. There was a time when total strangers might toss out some derisive insult. Now they seem to ask more with genuine amity.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Another thing: people think you're some kind of paranoid nut if you don't like companies spying on you:

http://www.businessweek.com/news/20...aked-into-rice-cookers-in-move-past-phones#p1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/05/verizon-dvr-patent-spies-tv-advertising_n_2246973.html

I like my vintage appliances.

"In Golden Era you watch television. In Modern Era, television watch you!"

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Another thing: people think you're some kind of paranoid nut if you don't like companies spying on you:

http://www.businessweek.com/news/20...aked-into-rice-cookers-in-move-past-phones#p1

I like my vintage appliances.

That's just great, now my rice cooker can tell the whole world what I had for dinner last night.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

"In Golden Era you watch television. In Modern Era, television watch you!"

Not sure if I want to laugh or run for the hills. :eusa_doh:

 

[PrettySquareGal]

That's just great, now my rice cooker can tell the whole world what I had for dinner last night.

Or maybe what you were wearing! Or not wearing. Not sure how far the peeking goes.