Are there ladies present who have non-retro bf's, husbands?

[lizylou]

I don't seem to get commpliments when I dress vintag'y' from my husband! He is very hip hopish, so he would rather see me in the same type of outfits, but I am not interested at all to look like an overall timberland boots type of girl everyday, only for serious yard work! But o-well opposites do attract!

 

[Joie DeVive]

Now I'm not a full vintage girl. I am a housewife, but most days I don't dress vintage. For cleaning toilets I'll stick to my jeans or sweats, thanks. lol

When I started on this path, my then boyfriend didn't care one way or the other. Now my husband, he still doesn't really, but I'm winning him over slowly. The key is that I'm not asking him to change. We do compromise a lot, but that is really key to any relationship. He now enjoys a good classic movie, and I'll watch sci-fi and fantasy with him. Trying to change people in significant ways is rarely successful and usually is really damaging to the relationship. It tends to send the message that the person you are trying to change isn't "good enough", and nobody likes that feeling.

My Mister loves me no matter how I dress. He tells me I'm beautiful first thing in the morning in an oversized flannel night-shirt, in the evening in a T-shirt, jeans and a ponytail, and on Sunday morning when I look like Donna Reed. I think he looks great in jeans, khakis or a suit. Unless his choice from that list is socially unacceptable for the event, I mostly hold my tongue. His mother tells me to go through his closet and get rid of items she doesn't like, but I'm not that girl. I will occasionally tell him when I see things that are wearing, fading, or ill fitting, but it is his call as to when or if they go. Through that honesty and lack of judgment he has come to trust what say and seeks my opinion more.

The hair thing actually strikes a sour note with me. My Grandmother has a thing for short hair. She loves it, and thinks that all women should have it. All my life she has been on my case to cut my hair. She says such charming things as: "You'd be so pretty if you'd just cut your hair." Quite frankly, I resent the hell out of her for it, and the more she pushes, the longer I grow it. It's quite possible that the more you push, the worse things will get with your husband. Hanging the pics of stars from the time is a reasonable tactic. Pointing out how you wish he would cut his hair like that every time you walk by likely would not.

As to the microwave, which I actually find ironic as housewives in the 50s would have killed for one. They loved their gadgets, and nuclear age cooking would have been a big selling point. But regardless, if it really offends your sensibilities and sense of style, you could try talking to your husband and telling him how you feel, and then ask if he would mind if you made a cover for it. Appliance cozies were fairly common in that time period, so just sew a rectangular cover. Even better if you could make it so you could just flip up the front flap for use, but if you do that make sure you leave the vents uncovered. (This is of course assuming it is a counter top model)

Good luck!

 

[The Shirt]

My BF and I are opposite vintage I suppose. I dress the part most times except when it's not practical. The more I build my wardrobe the more I will look it at all times. However when a client meeting pops up that I perceive will not be appreciative of my style - I tend to modernize my outfit and hair. The fellow is a jeans and t-shirt, rockabilly kind of guy. I recently got him to buy a hat but I've only seen it on him once. He looked amazing and I told him so. As for my fellow - vintage cars are his thing. I could care less what I drive as long as it's running well. I am slowly educating him on mid-century modern design. He is beginning to appreciate it and I see that in the purchases he makes now. We do not live together yet, but we talk about a style that we want for our home, yard, etc. He is a mend it/fix it kind of guy, I like to shop for new. However I am slowing beginning to appreciate saving money on fixing things rather than discarding them.

I love that he lets me dress my way and has never made an ill comment about it. It's part of who I am and would take real offense to it I suppose.

 

[LelaViavonie]

My BF and I are Complete Opp~!
I mean he thinks he is G-unit (rapper) and Im with my curled hair and red lipstick.. its quite funny we get a kick out of it.

He says.. that he met me with my Red Lipstick and cant imagine me without it.. thats how he fell ih love with me.
I did go through a period where i tried to dress "Normal" and felt like I was wearing a costume. Its hard to explain but I felt soo plain, and out of place when we would go somewhere ... like people were staring at me.. LOL
(you would think that people stare at me more with the clothes I wear on a daily basis)
In the end.. I couldnt take it anylonger and he likes my vintage way.. and says I look sexier in my pencil skirts and stockings.. Whhhew!

We honestly havent had problems with the differences.. he dosent mind my music and my old movies.. we have worked at Compromising .. and even though I can tolorate his music for about an hour.. I will put up with it and sing a tune in my head.. cause he puts up with my stuff..
We are VERY opposite.. but we work so well.. opposites attract

 

[SuperKawaiiMama]

My Mr doesn't have a vintage bone in his body. His look is more Vin Diesel that dressed in the dark. While I don't dress full on vintage every day, all my outfits have an element of drama to them. As a full time stay at home mum (who is moonlighting as a vintage model), I'm often under pressure to dress to conform. Particularly when it comes to the whole school gate thing. Dressing in vintage seems to intimidate or unnerve most of the other mums I meet sadly, but at least I'm outgoing enough to get over it.
As for the Mr., he is supportive of whatever I want to wear. I can't recall any time he has asked me to change or even tone it down (bless him).Both he and my family are used to my dramatic ways (he after 10 years). I just wonder what my girls will think in a few years time. Right now Mummy is very cool, but iIcan see a time where I will be asked to just drop them at the corner!

 

[SassyLindaB]

I like to dress up and dazzle him, he often tells me I was born in the wrong era lol
He is a scruffy track pants and holey tshirt kind of guy but as he works 12hours a day, 6 days a week, spoils me rotten and has never raised a hand to me in anger...he can dress in a toga if he likes...I personally wouldn't like it but I would accept it, marriage is a commitment, not a contract giving us power to change our partners.

 

[Lillemor]

My husband is a typical not-overly-concerned-with-appearance-but - always-appropriate-classic-conservative, even though he's not vintage. Some may consider his style drab but it's certainly not offensive in any context. I'm not implying that any style is wrong. I'm all for wide freedom of choice when it comes to personal style.

Hub doesn't try to force his ham radio hobby onto me either. I think it's nice that we have a few seperate hobbies. However, I'm seeing an increased fascination with each other's hobbies in the nerdiest of ways. We're two nerds who really deserve each other!

I'm mainly interested in era correct apparel and vanity from a nerdy, curious perspective, I don't want my family to dress any one decade or era style all the time.

...all my outfits have an element of drama to them

There's nothing vintage yet, just retro and various historical influences over my wardrobe and this quoted line by SuperKawaiiMama is certainly true of 95% of my wardrobe. The 5% being footwear where I go for nerdy hiking friendly or conservative and timeless.

I really don't take well to having restrictions placed upon my freedom to express myself through what I wear or how I wear things. So I have no desire to change how my husband dresses or how anyone else dresses. One of the things I do like about living now is the diversity in styles which are only really restricted by what we like and individually feel is appropriate or to which extend we allow others to excert control over what we wear. During leisure at least, this is true.

Joie Devive, I keep jeans, t-shirts, leggings, and tunics just for the fact that I don't want to ruin any good pieces of clothes even though I only own retro and no vintage yet. When you're down on your knees scrubbing, your appearance doesn't rate very high on the priority list.lol

I'm trying to grow my hair long just because it works best in most historical contexts and while long hair may not have been trendy during the golden era, a tidy updo is never wrong and can always look elegant. Yes, long, straight hair is considered a norm now but believe me, the lengths I plan to grow my hair to is not the norm.lol

Quite frankly, my hair is on my head and I wear my hair the way I like it. This one that's taken my family 30+ years to accept. There have been polar opposite opinions about how I should wear my hair by various family members, very overtly expressed, and never solicited by me.

For aestetics and interior design alone, I prefer things pre-1950s though. Hub's generally conservative, timeless, countrystyle and I like that too but with vintage pieces. So I don't see it as impossible that we'll be able to live out a vintage furnished, timeless, country home dream in the future.

Yickes! Didn't realize how long my post was. Excuse poor, impromptu editing.

 

[KittyT]

Joie de Vivre is totally right! The key is not asking him to change. You fell in love with him for the person that he is, not the person you want him to be, and you shouldn't forget that. Also, it's really important for each person to have their own hobbies and individual tastes. You may need to compromise a little bit with him (likewise, he needs to be willing to do the same for you!) and find a balance that will make you both happy.

Limiting yourself to a dating pool based on an interest in vintage just narrows things down waaaay too much. My last boyfriend was a vintage nut. While I appreciated that he liked to go shopping with me, gave me good clothing feedback and understood why I took so long to do my hair, in the end that was all insignificant because he was a jerk.

My new boyfriend is an old-school punk rocker (retro only for the 80s!) who wears tight jeans. But you know what? I like him for who he is, and that's what's important. I would never expect (or want) to change him.

I do have to add, however, that while having someone who shares your tastes isn't really that important, having your partner respect and at least appreciate your tastes definitely is.

 

[MissAmelina]

Think about it this way...What if your honey was a Trekker and he really wanted you to start dressing like a Klingon? hehe. You probably would not like it very much....I know I wouldn't.

My guy is fairly old school--not in the way he dresses, but in his outlook. So he appreciates the vintage styles I like to wear because he finds them more flattering to the female form than butt-floss panties and low-slung jeans.

I think it is every wife's lot in life to fuss with their husbands' hair, retro or not. I am always double checking my hubby before he leaves for work, making sure he brushes his hair, that his clothes match and that there are no "bats in the cave." It drives him crazy, but he knows it is because I love him and want him to look his best. Some guys are a bit too scatterbrained to worry about simple things like appearance....or if they have TP stuck to the bottom of their shoe.

As long as your hubby is clean, it is important to let him dress as he wishes. Take it slow and do not force the issue....he might come around, and he might not. You could always get him a vintagey sweater for Christmas or something. And after he puts it on, jump on him and tell him how sexy he looks.

If you guys really have an arrangement that you are housewife and the home is your turf to run as you please, you can always move the microwave out to the garage and put it on his workbench next to the other power tools.

 

[Josephine]

Think about it this way...What if your honey was a Trekker and he really wanted you to start dressing like a Klingon? hehe. You probably would not like it very much....

That'd be swell with me.

My situation is a bit more extreme than vintage/non vintage. I'm a Trekker and he's into Star Wars! lol

 

[MissAmelina]

That'd be swell with me.

My situation is a bit more extreme than vintage/non vintage. I'm a Trekker and he's into Star Wars! lol

HA! It's the opposite for us--I am the Star Wars freak, he is the one joking about the Captain's Log...how funny.

 

[Lillemor]

HA! It's the opposite for us--I am the Star Wars freak, he is the one joking about the Captain's Log...how funny.

I'm a Star Trek freak too but not a trekkie. I don't think hub's all that interested in it. It's more Star Wars vs. Star Trek in our home. I just like the philosopical questions Star Trek (Classic) and ST TNG raised questions of humanity...erh....fftopic: I'll just go and roll my hair up.

What I wanted to say was that I can see it from the point of view that I wouldn't want to dress up in a tacky (sorry, but that's the way I see it) film costume as little as I would like to wear a Halloween costume because they seem tacky to my gothic sense of aestetics.

 

[roots66]

I'd describe my husband as moderately '60s retro. He's blind, so you'd think visuals and appearances wouldn't matter all that much to him...but he's fairly visually-oriented for a blind guy. The last era in which he could see somewhat clearly was his '60s childhood, and so the biff!-bang!-pow! images of '60s pop culture are among his most vivid visual memories.

He doesn't collect much in the way of vintage accoutrements, except for the music. While he's mainly a jeans-and-t-shirts (and turtlenecks in the winter) type, the jeans are usually tapered and black, and the t-shirts often carry the slogans of his fave garage bands. He's not much for mod suits, but he does enjoy dressing up in paisley or polka-dotted shirts and Beatle boots on a special night out. Here's an example of him assuming the "George Harrison pose," taken by a go-go cage at the second Las Vegas Grind in 2000 (a short-lived garage version of VLV)...someone must've been holding the white cane for him while I snapped away. (He wears his hair in more of a crew-cut these days, though.)

 

[Inky]

My husband has known my sense of vintage since we met seven years ago, but i wasn't dressing vintage at that point because I could not find things to fit. Now that I can, and he's decided he loves the look, we have both spent the better part of this year slowly revamping our wardrobes. The first rule was no more t-shirts and especially ones with logos on them - ugh! The second thing was something my mamma taught me - let them think it's THEIR idea

Often he is FAR more high-maintenance than I am and boy does he love his pomade! We found him a fantastic barber here and he loves getting his short haircuts. He always carries a comb now and has recently started wearing hats as well.

Not long ago I ventured into uncharted territory by showing him a zoot suit and he was all for it. I let him pick out the colors and we didn't get a full suit yet as he wants the pin-stripe but only when he loses another 40 pounds or so. But hey, for a big tall guy to WANT to wear red pants - ya gotta love that and that's why I love him too.

BTW, he's 12 years my junior so I tell him he has a "real" vintage wife.

 

[Inky]

roots66 - your hubby is adorable and is definitely channeling a cool 60's vibe there!

I think that's actually pretty cool how is visual is what he remembers from childhood because that's the last things he could see. What an impact that made on him!

 

[roots66]

Thanks Inky, and right back atcha on the husband-adorableness factor--you two must look amazing together I'm sure! And yay for "nearly-intergenerational" marriages--there's a 14-year difference in mine as well, though naturally I was the one who got cradle-robbed...

 

[miss_elise]

question: can you be a housewife if you hate cleaning?

i'd much rather be celebrated for my awesome pastries, cakes and bread, and for my stylish, yet affordable sewing creations, and my thrifty yet skillful household budgeting... yet i'm a bit of a grub and i hate cleaning with a fiery passion...

do i still qualify for housewife or is there a different label for me?



hmmm, that is a bit off topic... tell me to go away if you want

 

[LelaViavonie]

Inky and Roots 66.. your husbands are adorable!!

Inky... thats funny you mention about the zuit suit cause my BF recently just bought one and he is totally in love with it now.. LOL he finds every excuse to wear it.. so he wore it for holloween

 

[Marzipan]

You seem more like a craftster... someone who enjoys CREATING and not dealing with the drudgery. I'll be your maid.

question: can you be a housewife if you hate cleaning?

i'd much rather be celebrated for my awesome pastries, cakes and bread, and for my stylish, yet affordable sewing creations, and my thrifty yet skillful household budgeting... yet i'm a bit of a grub and i hate cleaning with a fiery passion...

do i still qualify for housewife or is there a different label for me?



hmmm, that is a bit off topic... tell me to go away if you want

 

[MissAmelina]

You seem more like a craftster... someone who enjoys CREATING and not dealing with the drudgery. I'll be your maid.

fftopic: But that's okay right??

My mom was a total crafty stay-at-home-housewife (she made awesome dolls and pottery/macrame for art shows...i can still remember falling asleep to the hum of her sewing machine) but she HATED cleaning. In the 70's someone broke in and stole our TV set. When the cops came they thought the house had been ransacked!