Are good manners now vintage?

[Professor]

...when someone expresses an opinion that is not in keeping with one's own, many here feel that opinion somehow invalidates -their experience-, rather then recognizing that each persons experiences are their own and cannot be invalidated by what others think.

So then such posts are taken as almost an insult....rather than an academic discussion where all opinions are -valid...

The Little Old Lady from Pasadena has hit the nail on the head, people have to stop thinking their experience somehow outweighs another. We all have good and bad tales to tell, but this is not a competition to see whose woes are worse. I for one choose not to go into detail about my childhood, and it's offensive to me when someone with a few more years under their belt insists that I'm somehow ignorant of the world and its history.

In reference to comments about social competition, this is nothing new! It's precisely why people like myself are being criticized for a supposed lack of experience. It is a human tendency to seek validation, often at the expense of another. Class systems are a product of this, as is today's American economy of "haves" and "have nots", which itself is a regression to the Victorian era. Someone mentioned the concept of America becoming more "socialist"...truth is, America is not and never has been a pure democracy or capitalist economy. We are a democratic republic, and by their very nature our government and economy are socialist. It was economic policies that created a true and dominant middle class during the twentieth century. Now, a century later, people are angry again at corporate greed and political corruption, at being unemployed or underemployed and beholden to debt.

I may only be thirty, but I know what it is to be without, to endure suffering and remain faithful. I also know the respect and humility my ancestors instilled me with. And as someone else alluded to, age does not necessarily bring with it wisdom, some of the most ignorant fools I've met are older than me.

 

[Viola]

I see vintage equaling rural so often in these threads and this city girl doesn't get it. Is the only true vintage town Mayberry?

I'm a fifth generation Philadelphian, G-d bless us every one. I know kids got less supervision and could ride their bikes everywhere, yeah. (I did too, in the '90s) I also know the Golden age wasn't a time of flawless manners.

Fistfights, fights averted by flashing a gun, gangs, rudeness, sexy fashions, which of these aren't Golden Age?

I like the fashions and the music and the architecture of the Golden Era but I never heard any kind of idealized things-back-then from my grandparents in regards to manners.

And you know what, there are plenty of good, kind, yes, polite big city people. Even in those big bad East Coast cities.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I see vintage equaling rural so often in these threads and this city girl doesn't get it. Is the only true vintage town Mayberry?

Good point -- and I bet you could go into any city and find neighborhoods that were just as cohesive and just as look-out-for-each-other as you'd find in any small town. I think *neighborhood* is the key word, really -- whether in a city or a town, being in a place where you see the same people every day and get to know them, and where you're comfortable with them, makes it that much easier to relate to them as people and not just as a faceless, impersonal population.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Rural potato meets city potahto.

.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Rural potato meets city potahto.

.

You mean "patatah".

 

[Marc Chevalier]

You mean "patatah."

Bah! I'm from the 'burbs.

.

 

[Viola]

Yeah I think town turns into neighborhood turns into block. Some of the hardest neighborhoods in Philadelphia still have these tight little communities, you hear about "block captain" so-and-so who doesn't have any more money than anybody else on the block but makes sure the eighty year old on the block gets groceries and so on and does some of whatever semi-haphazard Town Watch stuff that goes on, or whatever.

I also know plenty of people from the heart of the inner city that are plenty concerned about manners (both from "be nice" and "get taken seriously") and teach them to their children rather more forcefully sometimes than the suburban parents I observe.

And people do look out for each other. You kind of have to, and you want people to hold the subway or whatever for you. And Philadelphians tend to let you know when they're upset and being rude to old ladies upsets them. I've seen plenty of people launch to the defense of total strangers - and people have for me too.

 

[Foofoogal]

If you can find 1, 2, 20 or a whole town of genuine decent people with manners and a sense of community you better hold on for dear life now.

this is why I posted this earlier. Our daughter lives in a neighborhood in a city but does have this. Block parties, BBQs, Game Nights etc. It can be done.
They all look out for each other and help each other.

 

[Bourbon Guy]

You mean "patatah".

I never could get patatahs for breakfast in Maine. Just eggs. Regardless of how politely I asked.

 

[Viola]

The best way of ingesting potatoes is in vodka and I'm not sure that's part of a complete breakfast!

 

[Tomasso]

The best way of ingesting potatoes is in vodka and I'm not sure that's part of a complete breakfast!

What if you include some orange juice? [huh]