Are good manners now vintage?

[Professor]

Not to tell other people how to live, but you can spend a lot of time bemoaning the loss of courtesy, or manners, or dress style. or you can go out and do something fun, or at least have a fun conversation about hats or suits or dresses.

I honestly think looking at the negative of life is really addictive, but does no one any good.

Oh, but that is the pleasure of it, complaining!

 

[Foofoogal]

If you think that people were all polite back in the day, just read Dickens, or watch Deadwood, which is a pretty accurate representation of the place back then. Don't judge the past on the behavior of the upper class, or on movies.

I don't believe this for one second at all. It is ridiculous to think that the memories of those over 40 are somehow morphed thru old age or rose colored glasses.
I do not know about large cities but the nature of smaller places I can guarantee anyone there is a set of hidden rules by which they lived by and still live by.
Not saying they are not more faked or more forced or with TV or outside influences are not more challenged but there are still consequences to not tow the line.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

So what is the vintage ladylike response when you've innocently smiled at someone, or not even that, and they (men, or boys) think you're entirely too friendly? I think you have to be older before you can get away with clubbing them with your purse, but good manners can be very misinterpreted, even passing eye contact.

One good look can scare away all the angels in heaven...

Unless, of course, the person wants the attention and is just playing around...

 

[JimWagner]

I'm 62 and people in general seem about the same today as in the past. Most will respond to politeness with politeness. And rudeness with rudeness. Be polite (and patient) first instead of waiting for the other guy to be polite and see what happens.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I'm 62 and people in general seem about the same today as in the past. Most will respond to politeness with politeness. And rudeness with rudeness. Be polite (and patient) first instead of waiting for the other guy to be polite and see what happens.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Paisley]

There is simply going about one's business and then there is completely disregarding one's fellows to the point where one is imposing on others.
....
Maybe it is simply a big city thing, and if so I envy those that have the opportunity to still stroll about in smaller communities. Perhaps their journeys take a little longer to get from hither to yon but I would bet they are the richer for it!

Cheers

Jamie

If your complaint is about people deliberately ignoring others, then I agree with you, although the problem isn't very new.

People in the city might appear to be less polite, but nine times out of ten, we yield in traffic while listening to music, stop reading to make room for a wheelchair on the bus, and keep the door open for the person behind us. A few years ago, I fainted on the sidewalk in downtown Denver. When I came to, someone was calling an ambulence, and someone else stayed with me until the paramedics arrived. As far as I know, nobody tripped over me.

 

[John in Covina]

Most big cities will still have some compassionate people that will assist in an emergency - except Detroit, there you would have been rolled for your purse an placed under the bus to be crushed by the wheels.

 

[Paisley]

So what is the vintage ladylike response when you've innocently smiled at someone, or not even that, and they (men, or boys) think you're entirely too friendly? I think you have to be older before you can get away with clubbing them with your purse, but good manners can be very misinterpreted, even passing eye contact.

I pretend to be deaf. If it's too late for that, I say I'm too busy to go out, or something like that, and repeat it as many times as necessary. If he's really being tiresome, I get up and move to another seat.

 

[Paisley]

Most big cities will still have some compassionate people that will assist in an emergency - except Detroit, there you would have been rolled for your purse an placed under the bus to be crushed by the wheels.

Sounds like the *suburbs* of Denver--that's where people get shot around here.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I pretend to be deaf. If it's too late for that, I say I'm too busy to go out, or something like that, and repeat it as many times as necessary. If he's really being tiresome, I get up and move to another seat.

I am giving away a huge secret here.....but I just pretend not to speak English....and answer them in another language I speak.....


Granted...this only really works if you speak slightly more rare languages for the locale you are in....

A random list of words said with conviction in sentence format usually fixes things right up.

 

[Foofoogal]

I think it is mostly science or statistics. If you have a 20 foot space and put 2 mammals in it or 30 mammals in it there will be a difference.

In smaller towns people just know each other or at least know someone that knows someone.

I am sure there are rude people and nice people everywhere though but much less apt to show your true colors if you are a bad person where there is pressure to not.

The ? was are good manners vintage and I say yes along with table manners and many other vintage ways.

I would like to think things are swinging back some though. Maybe with the economy people will have to go on their own merits and not their pocketbooks.


Either that or I watch way too much Mayberry. Seems the place to go when nothing is on TV lately. lol

 

[Foofoogal]

Originally Posted by Viola
So what is the vintage ladylike response when you've innocently smiled at someone, or not even that, and they (men, or boys) think you're entirely too friendly? I think you have to be older before you can get away with clubbing them with your purse, but good manners can be very misinterpreted, even passing eye contact.

Once upon a time I read if a lady didn't desire a mans attention (God only knows where I read it) it actually stated if nothing else fails then to point at his shoes and start laughing hysterically. As most men then wonder what is wrong and will forget about you.
Now not really sure that may not get you harmed now but once upon a time it evidently worked every time. lol

 

[Feraud]

^^ 60% of the time it works, every time.

 

[Professor]

I don't believe this for one second at all. It is ridiculous to think that the memories of those over 40 are somehow morphed thru old age or rose colored glasses.

You're kidding, right? Every generation talks about the "good ol' days" just like every generation thinks newer music is "the devil!" Recollections are always better than reality.

 

[JimWagner]

Don't confuse us older types recounting the things we liked in the old days with an inability to remember the bad things. Who wants to hear about all the bad things anyway?

Like cousins in iron lungs (polio). Hiding under school desks as "protection" from an anticipated nuclear attack (scary). Having corn bread and navy beans for dinner because Dad didn't make enough money and had 5 kids and a wife to feed. Only seeing a doctor if things were really bad. No such things as braces for most kids (too expensive and hardly anyone had medical or dental insurance in those days). DDT being sprayed or fogged out the back of city trucks to try to control the mosquitoes. No air conditioning in most people's houses during long hot summers and only a oil fired space heater for the whole house in the winter.

I remember when my Dad got his first car and later his first black and white tv.

The thing is that all those memories were just the way it was for most of us and don't stand out all that much in our memories unless we make a conscious effort to dredge them up. What sticks out and what we, like about everyone else, like to talk about are the things that were out of the ordinary and fun - not mundane. Add a little embellishment for entertainment purposes and it's easy to mistake that for seeing the past through rose colored glasses.

Most of us really don't see the past that way. Personally, I prefer things over all the way they are today instead of in the past. If I had a time machine, I wouldn't go back.

 

[Professor]

Don't confuse us older types recounting the things we liked in the old days with an inability to remember the bad things. Who wants to hear about all the bad things anyway?

Like cousins in iron lungs (polio). Hiding under school desks as "protection" from an anticipated nuclear attack (scary). Having corn bread and navy beans for dinner because Dad didn't make enough money and had 5 kids and a wife to feed. Only seeing a doctor if things were really bad. No such things as braces for most kids (too expensive and hardly anyone had medical or dental insurance in those days). DDT being sprayed or fogged out the back of city trucks to try to control the mosquitoes. No air conditioning in most people's houses during long hot summers and only a oil fired space heater for the whole house in the winter.

I remember when my Dad got his first car and later his first black and white tv.

The thing is that all those memories were just the way it was for most of us and don't stand out all that much in our memories unless we make a conscious effort to dredge them up. What sticks out and what we, like about everyone else, like to talk about are the things that were out of the ordinary and fun - not mundane. Add a little embellishment for entertainment purposes and it's easy to mistake that for seeing the past through rose colored glasses.

Most of us really don't see the past that way. Personally, I prefer things over all the way they are today instead of in the past. If I had a time machine, I wouldn't go back.

Spoken well. As for myself, I may be too young to remember many things personally, but I grew up in a time-warp, and friends say I'm "thirty going on eighty." There are certain aspects of the past worth remembering, which is why most of us are on here in the first place. Would I want to live in the past? Absolutely not, I'm glad to be alive today, in more modern times. I know some people who actually pretend they live seventy years ago, and in my humble opinion they don't have a clue. What they're "recreating" is pure fantasy.

 

[Foofoogal]

Don't mean to be disrespectful but you are 30. I have a son older than you.
I am no. 9 of 11 children and definitely did not have luxuries back then but still say life was so much better.
Not for me only but for most.
[huh]
Your entitled to your opinion and me mine.
I lived it.

 

[Professor]

Don't mean to be disrespectful but you are 30. I have a son older than you.
I am no. 9 of 11 children and definitely did not have luxuries back then but still say life was so much better.
Not for me only but for most.
[huh]
Your entitled to your opinion and me mine.
I lived it.

You are being disrespectful, seeing as how you know nothing of my background. Please do not make any assumptions.

 

[MissMeraRose]

You know, I feel people aren't as polite as they should be, but I'm still in high school and a lot of teenagers tend to be careless. I am always as polite as possible- I feel so wrong, otherwise.

 

[rlandrews3rd]

What different people consider to be good manners is often relative. One of the few things I've remembered from all of my cultural diversity training is that different people have different expectations. I've seen two versions of "The Platinum Rule", and both seem effective:

Treat others the way they want to be treated;

Treat others better than they expect and they will treat you better.

I'd blame the youth of today but that has been done to death by previous generations. There is also the wonderful post that precedes mine by the lovely young lady that shoots that idea down in flames!