Anyone here have a Mail Ordered Bride?

[reetpleat]

reet and Zemke,

I think we in this country really forget that most marriages, even just a couple generations ago, weren't necessarily "love matches".

People marry, even today, people they like who have a list of things going for them. Support, courtesy, shared values...

"Love" can grow from that, over time, but without all that other stuff, mere attraction will almost always fail.

When I was in Vietnam about fifteen years ago, many people wanted to introduce me to their sister, cousin, daughter, etc. SOme europeans thought that was creepy when i happendd to them. I took in in stride. If you are poor and not doing so well, wouldn't you want to introduce your sister to a handsome, nice, and (to them) wealthy man who might be able to offer them a great life.
As my frend's mother used to tel her, "It is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man." Not being rich, that kind of thinking tense to get my hackles up. But there is some truth to it.

 

[Zemke Fan]

The immigration requirements...

You don't necessarily want a woman (or man) delivered to your door step. You want the opportunity to actually meet them, on their turf,and spend a bit of time getting to know each other.

... for a K1 (fiance) Visa REQUIRE a face-to-face meeting. And there are numerous steps that must be taken -- including an interview in a U.S. consular office -- before the visa is granted.

Additional steps in the process to obtain permanent residency and citizenship are also quite stringent. Trust me when I tell you that you REALLY have to want to do this.

 

[Orgetorix]

... for a K1 (fiance) Visa REQUIRE a face-to-face meeting. And there are numerous steps that must be taken -- including an interview in a U.S. consular office -- before the visa is granted.

Additional steps in the process to obtain permanent residency and citizenship are also quite stringent. Trust me when I tell you that you REALLY have to want to do this.

I have an American friend with a Canadian fiancee, and they are going through this process right now. It sounds unpleasant.

 

[Legal Concepts]

... is the wide disparity in age -- the wife being in her 20s and the husband in his 40s, 50s, or 60s. But, this same situation troubles me with people who are both from the same country. Helen and I are only 10 years apart in age, which is less than my own mother and father. As for me, I wasn't looking for a daughter, I was looking for a wife. And, I was looking overseas because (believe it or not, it's the truth) that's where my heart lead me.

UGH!!! Now I got ART BELL in my head, Art is what, in his 50's and he married a 20's something Philippines woman?lol

BTW I also understand(before they tightened up the Mail order bride business) that women would marry a American man to get over here to Freedom, not for the man.

That is what happened to a local around here, his first mail order wife became a naturalized citizen, and left him, his second wife however is sticking around, so you never know.

 

[Senator Jack]

A few year's ago I read an article about the Russian Mail Bride business here in New York. Seems the Russian mafia were setting it up so they can get their cards and then force them into prostitution in Brighton Beach. If the hapless groom belly-ached, he didn't belly-ache for long.

 

[reetpleat]

UGH!!! Now I got ART BELL in my head, Art is what, in his 50's and he married a 20's something Philippines woman?lol

BTW I also understand(before they tightened up the Mail order bride business) that women would marry a American man to get over here to Freedom, not for the man.

That is what happened to a local around here, his first mail order wife became a naturalized citizen, and left him, his second wife however is sticking around, so you never know.

Yeah, I thought of Art Bell too. I found his story quite touching. Of course he is a master of presentation.

I think it is obvious that there will be some who want ot just get into the country, and others who get here and find they are not compatible, and others that find true love.

One risk though is when men meet women on line that are actually hoaxes, and theystart giving a sob story and asking for money. It is recommended you travel there to meet her before ever sendign money or anything like that.

 

[Lincsong]

I am all yours for a bottle of gin and a pretty dress

WHOA!

 

[carebear]

WHOA!

You can have me for the same dress but only half the bottle Linc-ey poo. lol

 

[Lincsong]

You can have me for the same dress but only half the bottle Linc-ey poo. lol

You've been up in the woods too long. bahahahahhahhalol lol

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Cat included!

Is the cat included?

Official Rules:
Grand prize guaranteed to be awarded, includes one marvelous groom, (not pictured) and one cat (with valid driver's license).
Note: Cat image is for illustration purposes only. Actual cat awarded with grand prize may differ from illustration. Offer valid only in U.S.A. or it's possessions. Offer void where prohibited. Winner subject to all federal, state, and local taxes incurred.
Employees of The Fedora Lounge or any of it's subsidiaries, and their immediate families are not eligible.
Winning entrant will be notified no later than than Groundhog day, 2007.
Prize guaranteed to be awarded, no purchase necessary to enter.

 

[scotrace]

Reasonable people have abandonded this thread.

 

[Viola]

You can have me for the same dress but only half the bottle Linc-ey poo. lol

What size are you? I'm not having a man around who wears a smaller dress than I do!

-Viola

 

[carebear]

43 L

But let's return this to seriousity.

 

[farnham54]

Bear, using words like Seriosity may preclude that from happening lol

Just givin' ya a hard time.

I have no problem with people paying an agency to liase on their behalf with foreign women. Some folks just like that; other folks might like aspects of the culture that these women come from. Whatever the reason, it's not all that different then logging on to "It's Just Lunch" or "Lavalife" or "Match.com" or something similar. You are paying to meet people.

With that rationale, it's not that different then a night on the town, either.

As I said, I only have a problem when you (the universal you) start dealign with women who are brought in against their will or by groups of the criminal element.

Cheers
Craig

 

[MissHuff]

There is a darker side to this 'industry' too--called Human Traffiking. Sometimes--not always, but sometimes--these women are sent away without consent. It is a staple of international organized crime, and some of these women will end up in illegal brothels being raped daily or far worse.

That being said, some agencies are reputable--Do your research, or you may find yourself in a whole whack of trouble, socially, morally, and even with the good ol' FBI.

Cheers
Craig

The saddest side of human trafficking is that most of these women think that they are being set up with a reputable agency to find a good husband/job/life or whatever. They take risks and leave everything behind in hopes of a better life only to be lied to and treated like slaves.

And to comment on the men going to other countries to find a wife. I have seen first hand several family members go back to the "old country" to find a wife. That way, they share the same culture and beliefs. Although I don't really agree with it sometimes, I do respect the idea of perserving your own culture if that's what you want to do.
In short, not everybody who is leaving the country to find a mate doing it because they think it'll be easier. Maybe they just can't find someone who shares the same ideals as them.

There are over 6 billion people in the world. You can't possibley think that there is no one out there for you if you just stay in one place.

 

[matei]

I would think the success stories of these type of relationships are the exception rather than the rule.

I don't know any men personally who have gone this route, but several times I've encountered groups of them abroad which were travelling for this purpose. It was a rather disturbing experience. I'd say their behaviour was the problem, rather than the concept of looking outside their own country for a partner.

Of course it takes two to tango, as they say. If there weren't a market for this they would not have been there.

On the other side of the coin, I've known of women (guys as well) who were looking for an easier life in the west and decided this was the way to do it. Most times they were not happy with the outcome, as their motivation was purely materialistic. Some of them got what they deserved, so to speak.

These individuals certainly spoil it for those who genuinely want to find a partner.

That being said - I personally don't think I'd be able to get to know someone that quickly, or in such a short period of time. But that is just me - I'm rather old fashioned.

 

[Grnidwitch]

Official Rules:
Grand prize guaranteed to be awarded, includes one marvelous groom, (not pictured) and one cat (with valid driver's license).
Note: Cat image is for illustration purposes only. Actual cat awarded with grand prize may differ from illustration. Offer valid only in U.S.A. or it's possessions. Offer void where prohibited. Winner subject to all federal, state, and local taxes incurred.
Employees of The Fedora Lounge or any of it's subsidiaries, and their immediate families are not eligible.
Winning entrant will be notified no later than than Groundhog day, 2007.
Prize guaranteed to be awarded, no purchase necessary to enter.

 

[carebear]

I'm not sure the success rates of actively "shopping" for a bride are any better than just wandering around casually looking. They are just easier to quantify because you have a defined start and finish date.

As far as marital success goes, beyond both individuals working at it (the key) I seem to recall a study that spotted a correlation with how the people were introduced. Those actively set up by friends and family did a bit better on longevity than those that just wandered into each other.

I suppose because their compatability could be pre-judged by people who know them and their suitors (of both sex) could be pre-screened for negative traits.

Meeting someone in a bookstore who's there to shop for books would have a little of this compatibility advantage, at least you know they go to bookstores like you do, that sort of thing. How much better could that work with a group of friends realizing you (the potential couple) talk about the same kinds of things, do the same kinds of things and like the same kinds of things. The "modern" arranged marriage. (which I think gets a little more denigration than it deserves, as long as the actual marriage part is voluntary)

 

[Girl Friday]

This thread totally reminds me of this skit from Kids In The Hall lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLOxLLFX1s0

 

[Mike in Seattle]

The city of Seattle has an interestign story about one of the founding fathers who went back east and advertised in the papers and such to find wives for ll the men here. He brought back a trainload of them. There was aa musical and tv show about it called seven brides for seven brothers, which produced the song "the bluest skys you've ever seen are in Seattle"

Right song, wrong series - it was Here Come the Brides. And they came in by boat.