any old-school housewives??

[dollydaydream]

Haha, yes, me too! I like the comedy value of the idea of doing the cooking and cleaning in a dress and high heels with a cute little apron, but really I'd prefer to be a housewife because I hate the idea of being reliant on a relentless, inflexible 9-5 job. I have no particular career ambitions and would hate to live for my job and have no time for a family or hobbies. I'm under no delusions that housewives/SAHMs have an easy time of it, but all the same, I don't ever want to be part of the corporate machine.

Too True!! I would have lots of time to sew & knit my boyfriend jumpers too. Oh yes!

I think it's right that a lady should have tea ready for the hard working man of the house when he returns from a hard days graft!

And it will be my job to look the part whilst I'm doing it too

 

[Naama]

fftopic: I wouldn't say that wanting to be a stay at home mom means that you can´t be a feminist. I think it's ridiculous that most women want to do both, because it doesn't really change anything either, only thing, that women then just have to do a lot more then the guys do, what can't be any benefit if you are fighting for equality..... Sure, I don't mean that it's wrong, to both, I think, these are things, where no wrong or right exist....


Naama

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

Being a stay at home mom is actually regaining a lot of popularity and respect - mostly, I imagine, because it takes more sacrifice to live on one salary than two these days. As someone said above, it's truly a privilege.

Being a stay at home mom is also a feminist activity. Long gone are the days where women had to burn their bras and dress like men. Now being a feminist is about being a woman, not a man, and fighting for it on our terms. Feel free to tell that to anyone who judges any woman for staying home and wishing to raise well-rounded, sensitive kids. (Or any man who stays home with the kids, for that matter.)

 

[dollydaydream]

I seem to have open a can of worms here. When I said about the feminist thing I meant the looking after the man thing, not the kids...

I ain't got any of them lol

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Being a feminist, to me, means being myself and not looking for outside acceptance for my personal choices. I don't need the approval of card-carrying feminists or "patriarchy." Having said that, I'm a card-carrying feminist. I love June Cleaver, too. All about freedoms...

 

[Josephine]

I suppose I am one, a bit, though I'm a part time nanny with the child at my house, and will be a fuller time nanny in the summer, still with the baby at my house. I want to be as competent as the 50's housewife, I just need a plan of attack! (do this everyday, that every other day, Tuesdays you do this thing, Fridays you do this other thing...)

 

[pigeon toe]

I'm a total feminist and I am in support of both stay at home moms and working moms, as long as it's there choice! What's wonderful about these times is that we CAN choose. That's what feminists have been fighting for all these years.

That being said though, I don't know if I could ever be a full-time stay-at-home mom. That's a lot of work! I think it's unfortunate how sometimes the caring for the kids falls on the mother's shoulders more so than the father's -- that really robs him of precious time with his children. I hope to have a more equal relationship where we both contribute to child-rearing and finances equally.

Also, if I were to marry my boyfriend, I think that's what would work best for us. We both have different skills that complement the others'. Where I'm a bad cook, he's amazing. He's a slob, but I'm a neat freak, etc.

 

[Tifa]

I don’t think I ever will be a typical housewife, here in Sweden it’s not really that common and it’s not really something that I feel drawn to. I don’t think I’ll want children either and
cleaning and doing the dishes isn‚Äôt my idea of fun but cooking is pretty ok 

I would only stop working to stay home if I won the lottery or something otherwise I like my job, it’s fun and stimulating and I like that I can take care of myself and don’t have to rely on someone else to bring in the cash.
As long as people are doing what they want and are happy with it I’m happy for you!
I would imagine saying home taking care of your kids and the house is a big responsibly and is admirable, I guess I wouldn’t last a day

 

[ShooShooBaby]

I'm a total feminist and I am in support of both stay at home moms and working moms, as long as it's there choice! What's wonderful about these times is that we CAN choose. That's what feminists have been fighting for all these years.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

well said!

 

[retromom712]

WOW!! so many insightful ladies!!:eusa_clap

 

[Joie DeVive]

I seem to have open a can of worms here.

Don't worry about it! I think many of us gals can get punchy (for lack of a better term) over the word feminist. It's interesting how a word which should invoke the great freedoms and choices we have, can be used in a limiting way. Though it should be noted, nobody here has.

I have faced tremendous pressure from many of the women in my life about my choice to be a housewife, and hopefully soon, a stay-at-home-mom. To put it bluntly, they don't approve. My MIL went so far as to declare that it was the fault of my traditionalist Father, which quite frankly is laughable. I wish to be a housewife because of my Mother. I want what I had for my children. I want to be able to do all the things my Mother did with my sister and me.

In my case at least, I think my MIL is upset because she didn't stay home, and she feels that since my husband (her son) is so on board and positive about this choice we are making, that she feels like we are judging her or saying that she was wrong. For me, nothing is further from the truth. She lived her life and her truth. I want to live mine. Just because those paths are different doesn't make one wrong and the other right. To me, life is more like an essay than a True/False question.

 

[Paisley]

My MIL went so far as to declare that it was the fault of my traditionalist Father, which quite frankly is laughable. I wish to be a housewife because of my Mother. I want what I had for my children. I want to be able to do all the things my Mother did with my sister and me.

In my case at least, I think my MIL is upset because she didn't stay home, and she feels that since my husband (her son) is so on board and positive about this choice we are making, that she feels like we are judging her or saying that she was wrong. For me, nothing is further from the truth. She lived her life and her truth. I want to live mine. Just because those paths are different doesn't make one wrong and the other right. To me, life is more like an essay than a True/False question.

As a mother-in-law, my mother (along with many others) has found four little letters to be the key to good relations with her children's spouses: MYOB.

 

[retromom712]

Paisley, please call my mother and give her some of that advice, LOL!!!!lol

 

[Paisley]

I would, but I have the same policy!

 

[Miss Dottie]

This post is something that is on the tip of my thoughts recently.

I'd like to be a stay at home mother/housewife, but I make more money than my husband, so it really wouldn't behoove me or our hopefully burgeoning family to give up being the bigger breadwinner. It's just a bummer.

Right now my husband and I are trying to get pregnant and I wake up with these terrifying dreams that I've turned into that horrific mother that all of the other mothers gossip about because she buys cookies instead of making them by hand because she's working and has to put her child in daycare which will surely turn her sweet babies into obese drug-addled hoodlums. Eek!

Clearly it's a very sensitive topic for me. Please forgive me nerve-wracking confessions--clearly there's a lot to think about when having kiddies. I'll blame it on PMS (or potentially early pregnancy--crossing fingers...)

But I must remember that love and a good moral compass and willingness to put family before everything will hopefully steer me right as a parent.

All I know is that it's a very personal decision linked to more than just one's desire.

 

[kamikat]

I've been a stay-at-home mom for 9 years. This past autumn, I worked in a salon for a couple months, but after each kid got a serious cold, one right after the other, I realized that even if my kids are in school, it just wouldn't work out. I see 1-2 clients each week, just enough to keep my skills and some extra spending money, but not enough to make me feel stressed. I've also started watching a classmate of my older son's, now that his mom is newly divorced and working for the first time in 10 years.

 

[desi_de_lu_lu]

This is a good thread, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's interesting responses.


As for myself.. I get married in 19 days and I am deliciously awaiting the day that I can stay at home and be a stay at home mom and slow down and not have such a brutally stressful 9-5 job.

Ironically, I worked so hard to get to this point in my career.... and now I think I am burned out. My soon to be husband can't wait to take care of me and seriously, I am ready to light incense under his feet when that day happens!

But I love the fact and appreciate that I have had the choice and freedom to go to college, be gainfully employed in a job typically represented by men, and to still have the option of being able to stay at home if I so choose.

I guess as far as being 'home and bored' ...i am not too concerned about that. I will have plenty of hobbies to keep me busy and the family business to run as well.

So until I become that lady of leisure that I have always coveted...its back to the salt mine with me.

 

[Real Swell Gal]

I would love to have been, but it never panned out. Single mom.
I think it's great, though, that so many women are beginning to do it. A lot of women look down on it, and I've never understood why. I would have most likely gone to work when my son started school, but until then, I would have stayed home if I could have.

Yeah in 96 when we decided I would stay home alot of my friends gave me crap about it. Like why do I waste my education ect. I was like, "I'm getting an education." I think they thought I was being lazy too but I worked harder in the home than I ever have out. And I had a hard time with paying for daycare to work so I could pay for daycare. It just didn't make sense to me.
The thing is though as my kids got older and more independent I went back to dental. I love my job and making my own money but the sacrifices I've made for my kids are well worth it.
If you aren't willing to give up the money (and a little sanity) and make the sacrifices then forget it.
I do like talking to "grown-ups" though. LOL

 

[~*Red*~]

Having worked since I was 16, and paid my own way soon after that, I am a very independent person and I love to work. I love to be busy, achieve goals and make money. After I had my daughter, I had all intentions to go back to work. But for her to be in daycare would take every cent of my hard earned 8/hr a day money. Not to mention that by the time she was 3 months old, she finally felt like my child, and had quite the personality starting to peek out, and at that point I knew I could never leave her. So it turned out that I became a stay at home mom.

It was very hard the first few years. I missed having my own paycheck, feeling like I "contributed" to the family, etc.. in those aspects I had to change my way of thinking. I contribute 24 hours a day. When you become a mom, you get supersonic hearing..that never goes away. It's a blessing and curse. It kept me up all night until I figure out that my daughter talks, cries, laughs and yells in her sleep. lol It's really just a different kind of job, and I get a far different kind of payment from monetary. I enjoy it now, especially as she gets older and more indpendent herself. (Except now I know what my family had to go though to live with me... and it's not always fun )

Now if only I got paid vacation, sick leave, lunches and breaks... lol

The one thing I envy about my husband when he works is that he gets a "break" and is around adults all day. Coming home is a treat. I wish I had that once in awhile. And I'm not even going to get into the single mom periods I have while he is deployed. I have the utmost respect for single moms... I don't know how they do it, except that they probably just do it because they have to.

But overall, I wouldn't trade my SAHM job in for any other job. My daughter will start regular school next year, and I will finally get time to hopefully incorporate some of those things I have missed out on for so long back into my life.

 

[Foofoogal]

Everyone has to choose what is best for them but here is a calculator link to figure out the cost. Many truly do work for very little pay when it is all added up.
http://homeparents.about.com/cs/familyfinances/a/workcalc.htm