All hope is not lost

[AtomicEraTom]

It's a shame that nowadays, so many of these niceties are lost on young ladies. For every lady I've been involved with, I've always held the door, opened the car door, pushed in chairs, walked on the street side of the sidewalk. Most of them don't understand. I even had one that got mad at me for holding doors, and for paying when we went to eat/movies, etc. This winter, I gave up my jacket on a -30 day (with windchill) and I was sick and miserable for a week, but it was worth it for the smile on my lady-friend's face.

 

[JennyLou]

I used to have a boyfriend who would always make me walk on the inside of the sidewalk. It was nice that at least one guy i have met knew this.

 

[Tomasso]

I gave up my jacket on a -30 day (with windchill) and I was sick and miserable for a week, but it was worth it for the smile on my lady-friend's face.

She wasn't wearing a coat at -30°F ?!?!:eusa_doh:

 

[Shangas]

It's a shame that nowadays, so many of these niceties are lost on young ladies. For every lady I've been involved with, I've always held the door, opened the car door, pushed in chairs, walked on the street side of the sidewalk. Most of them don't understand. I even had one that got mad at me for holding doors, and for paying when we went to eat/movies, etc. This winter, I gave up my jacket on a -30 day (with windchill) and I was sick and miserable for a week, but it was worth it for the smile on my lady-friend's face.

I heard a story similar to this, once. A guy in highschool was in the school's drama department. He was helping put together scenery for a play, and they had to move some furniture and props around the stage. He saw this girl trying to move a PARTICULARLY heavy piece of equipment, and he offered to take it from her and move it so she didn't have to struggle with it.

In his mind, he was being polite, but apparently something got lost in the transaction, and the girl took offense at his gesture of help. She told him to buzz off. The result, so the story goes, was that the girl ended up in hospital with a crook back.

I think the thing here, is that some girls take some of these nicities as offenses. Holding doors open, etc, as if to say: "I don't need a MAN to do it, I CAN DO IT MYSELF, THANK YOU!" They miss the point that it's about being polite, I think they see it as patronising, which is why, perhaps, they don't recognise it or appreciate it as much as they used to?

 

[Ethan Bentley]

My husband wasn't raised with those kind of manners, and had never seen the gentleman insist on taking the outside before he saw my father do that when walking with me. He asked why he had switched sides with me and was so impressed that he adopted the behavior immediately and does it all the time now.

I also recently saw a young buck open the car door for his sweetheart in a Target parking lot. Maybe manners are coming back!

Something similar happened to me in my early days of dating, something that I still do long after the break up.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

She wasn't wearing a coat at -30°F ?!?!:eusa_doh:

She was wearing a coat, but she only will wear her letter jacket, and it's not very heavy, and in the winter, I wear a very big, heavy Carhartt Jacket, not the most stylish, but sometimes my redneck side rears it's head I guess. Luckily with me being 6'1, 250, and her being 5'1, 110, it fit over her and her letter jacket with plenty of room so spare, oh, and she was warm.

 

[Talbot]

I too walk on the outside with my wife. Not only is it polite, travelling in some countries in Europe and South East Asia, it is to protect from bag snatchers on scooters. If my teenage daughter is along, I go Loose Duece.

Talbot

 

[Lady Jessica]

When i was younger I took offense to men holding doors for me. I guess now that I'm older, I want men to charm me, as opposed to before, when I thought they thought I wasn't able to handle it on my own. I think it'd be very sweet if he opened the car door for me. I had that happen when I was eight or so, but not since then.

 

[Mike in Seattle]

Something similar happened to me in my early days of dating, something that I still do long after the break up.

One of my cynical uncles used to always say, when seeing a guy opening the car door for a woman, "He's either got a new car or a new dame."

 

[LynnLaBlanc]

1. Where I'm living now, men are expected to walk on the outside (closest to the street) because if a man has his girl on the outside, he's "selling" her.

2. I love manners and its depressing that my generation doesn't have them (I am 17). I use "sir" and "m'am" when speaking to my elders (teachers, parents etc.) and one time someone did tell me "You are too polite. Stop."

 

[AtomicEraTom]

One of my best friends is a gal, and even when we're just cruisin' and stopping at our regular stops, I ALWAYS hold the door for her, and open her car door, etc, etc. Not because I'm interested, but because it's the gentlemanly thing to do.

 

[John Boyer]

While in college during the early 1980's, our fraternity house mother was very particular of certain etiquette. Among other things, I recall her instructing us to always walk on the outside (nearest the street) when with a girl, woman or lady.

I also recall her quite adamantly insisting that we put the knive, fork and spoon diagonally, leaning to the left, with the tines down, when we were finished eating.

Of course, opening doors for both men and women and "please" and "thank you" were non-negotiable.

Nearly thirty years later, these habits, instilled by this very particular fraternity house mother, are--mostly--still there.

John

 

[Ethan Bentley]

When i was younger I took offense to men holding doors for me. I guess now that I'm older, I want men to charm me, as opposed to before, when I thought they thought I wasn't able to handle it on my own. I think it'd be very sweet if he opened the car door for me. I had that happen when I was eight or so, but not since then.

That reminds me of this:
A chap gives his seat up for a young lady on the bus:

Young Lady: "Is this because I'm a woman?"
Chap: "No madam, it's because I'm trying to be a gentleman".

 

[Marc Chevalier]

A chap gives his seat up for a young lady on the bus.

It's far more impressive when chaps give up their seats for old men, old women, pregnant women, older people (or women of any age) lugging heavy stuff and children, handicapped people, exhausted people, etc.


I wouldn't give up my seat for a young woman per se unless she were burdened with stuff, a baby/babies, or seemed handicapped (or very tired).


.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

It's far more impressive when chaps give up their seats for old men, old women, pregnant women, older people (or women of any age) carrying heavy stuff, etc.

.

Exactly!

It has long been an observation of mine, that men are very willing to be gentlemanly and mannerly with women in their 'attractiveness to date' pool. (This is true whether they could actually date said woman at that moment or not.....men don't like possibly screwing up vague future chances either).

When they are mannerly and gentlemanly to -anyone-....that's when they are a real gentleman, not just someone trying to 'make a good impression on the hot chick'

Seriously, I have had more doors slammed in my face by supposedly mannerly and -vintage- guy friends who wouldn't open a door for me to save their lives, because I am not -datable- ....

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Oh, and I would also give up my seat for a woman (coming home from work) who has spent the day standing and walking in heels.

.

 

[Joie DeVive]

Oh, and I would also give up my seat for a woman (coming home from work) who has spent the day standing and walking in heels.

.

My aching feet bless you! :eusa_clap

 

[Marc Chevalier]

My aching feet bless you! :eusa_clap

Men have no inkling of this pain unless their mothers, sisters, and/or wives/girlfriends have told them.



.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

Men have no inkling of this pain unless their mothers, sisters, and/or wives/girlfriends have told them.



.

Or they wear high heels themselves. lol lol lol

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Or they wear high heels themselves. lol lol lol

True 'dat!

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