Adjusting to small town life.

[Phineas Lamour]

I moved from Florida to a small town in Tennessee. In some ways it is like time travel. There are still pay phones here, people use cash, and write things on paper. The "downtown" area doesn't have any buildings taller than a few stories. People here leave things outside, even at stores and businesses. I went to the courthouse to get a license plate and there weren't even guards or metal detectors. People even have gardens and can their own food. I think I fit in much better here. Has anyone else had an experience like this? I think everyone should try small town life at least once. Especially the people of the Lounge.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I was born in Milwaukee, as every generation before me had been since we came over on the boat. City life just wasn't for my family anymore, and we moved out. Now, my parents live about a mile from the cabin where my dad spent his summers.

I love small town life and never will live in a big city again. I was just at the court house the other day, you can roam the whole place without even being stopped. In Pardeeville, I can go anywhere in town (which you can see most of from my window) and leave my car windows open, keys in, iPod on the seat, and know its safe. Portage, where my parents live is like that, but is starting to turn a bit. They built a prison there and it's changed things.

Pardeeville is the best town I've lived in, in my whole live (my fourteenth move) and it's a lot like a time warp. It's a mostly older crowd that lives here and during the warmer months the streets are scattered with vintage cars and old pickups, and the quintessential old people rides, such as Mercury Grand Marquis, and Buick LeSabres, equipped with landau roofs lol Everyone knows everyone and their life stories. Half the time, I walk into a store here and they go 'Hey, Tom! So and so was just in here looking for you. They said to tell you they'll be at such and such' It's corny and cliche, but I love this Mayberry way of life we have around here.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I've lived all but six months of my life in small towns, and while things are changing faster than I'd like in a lot of ways (the "tourist mentality" dominating in ways it never used to, practical downtown businesses giving way to gimmicky-arty tourist shops, outastaters coming here and trying to turn the place into the place they left, drugs running rampant, etc.), it's still got a lot going for it. As long as you're willing to accept that a small town *isn't* a city and that pulling city attitudes won't make you any friends, you'll get along fine.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

It'd be interesting to read of those with small-town experiences that weren't scripted from the pre-Helen Crump Mayberry.

Has anyone been ostracized (or "Osterized") just because they weren't born in the area? How about that legendary small town gossip? What about the thuggery of small-town teenagers who wish they were from and therefore act like they're living in some hostile big city?

 

[LizzieMaine]

We have our share of teenage punks here, but they don't quite manage to pull off the urban-hood act. A couple weeks ago I was out on the sidewalk changing the letters on the marquee and someone threw a fish-and-chips takeout supper at me from a passing car. Last week, a guy I know was hit in the leg by a Vienna sausage fired from a slingshot from a passing car. And two nights ago somebody threw a balloon full of 7-Up at our sidewalk sign during a concert.

The small-town-gossip thing is a caricature, I think. It might vary depending on the section of the country, but up here people learned very early on to mind their own business. I have no idea about my neighbor's private life, nor do I have any interest in knowing it.

The way to get ostracized for being From Away is to come into town full of "OK, rubes, THIS is how we're going to do things from now on." As long as you mind your own business, we locals will mind ours.

 

[Harp]

I moved from Florida to a small town in Tennessee. In some ways it is like time travel. Has anyone else had an experience like this?

Clarksville, Tennessee. A bit too tame, but Nashville was delightfully decadent.

 

[olive bleu]

I'm glad you have moved to a place that you feel happy.I lived in a very small town for the first 19 years of my life. There are still people back there that i love. And i love to visit. But i doubt i will ever go back to small town life again. I hated living in a fish bowl. In tough times, it was incredible how the community cam e together to help out one another and it was a wonderful place to grow up, knowing everyone and everyone keeping an eye on each others kids, but I have also seen a lot of pain caused from the spreading of gossip and people knowing more than they ought about their neighbours business.

It is possible to be part of a community within a city, within a neighbourhood. i still have the experience of running into people i know at the corner store, and folks meet up at the neighbourhood coffee shop and lunch counter to chat everyday. Over the past 2 years, we have experienced some pretty serious drama in my family and i have been touched by the way that my neighbourhood has rallied around and supported us. You may have to put in the investment of time and energy of creating that sense of community for yourself within a city, but it can happen.

Although there was "very little to do" in our small town, and we had to create our own fun, i was never bored. i loved my time there, but i love all that city life offers and particularly the diversity. I love the
anonymity some days, that feeling of being alone, but still part of a crowd. I even love the wackos and the noise. I love the lights at night from my 11th floor apartment.

my city is not a large one, and i would move to an even bigger city if i could. But that's me. I think, in a nutshell, it's the diversity i would miss. I like it that not everyone looks like me, talks like me, or thinks like me. I love standing on a street corner and overhearing a conversation in a language i don't understand.

That being said, Phineas Lamour, i hope you enjoy your new home and create many happy memories there!


“I have an affection for a great city. I feel safe in the neighborhood of man, and enjoy the sweet security of the streets.”-Longfellow

 

[Nathan Dodge]

The way to get ostracized for being From Away is to come into town full of "OK, rubes, THIS is how we're going to do things from now on." As long as you mind your own business, we locals will mind ours.

Miami--though by no means a small town (though it once was)--is lousy with such people. Growing up, all I heard was "how much better" it was where they were from.

As for my own small town experience--Four Oaks, North Carolina--I have nothing but pleasant memories. I'd kill to see that 1930s drug store counter again.

 

[Gregg Axley]

I know where that is Phineas! My wife and I love that area, all the way to far East TN.
No it's not Nashville, but be glad it isn't.
Maybe one day I'll move to that part of the state....
Enjoy this life, relish it if you can, it's a rarity these days IMHO.

 

[rue]

As long as you're willing to accept that a small town *isn't* a city and that pulling city attitudes won't make you any friends, you'll get along fine.

That's a great thing to point out Lizzie and a hard lesson learned my many big city people.


I grew up in the suburbs outside of Los Angeles in Arcadia, but we lived right next to a small town (Sierra Madre) and then later moved to Santa Ynez (a small town in the 80s), so I thought I had a feeling for both the city and small town life... HA. I had no idea what I was getting into (picture the the movies Doc Hollywood or Baby Boom). Don't get me wrong, I love small town living and wouldn't have it any other way, but it was an adjustment. Some advice after living in three different small towns:

Don't make anyone mad.
Learn to wait for fishing and hunting season to be over before you hire workmen.
Don't talk badly about anyone, because the person you're talking to could be related and probably is.
Slow down your pace (that includes driving, buying something and walking down the street).
Most of all.... be friendly.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I was raised in a small town. I think the population was around 7,000..maybe. Like any place..there are the good things...and the bad. It was a 'close' community including family owned business's..some that had survived for several generations. Many actually cared about their neighbor..especially those from families that had lived there for years. BUT..you better watch your Ps & Qs...!! Everybody knew some of everyone else's personal business...often long before the offender..or offendee..had any idea that it had become public knowledge. Anything for a good scandal..(and there was always something or someone in the pipeline)! However...in times of need...there seemed to most always be helping hands...even for those that lived 'on the wrong side of the tracks'. I moved to a larger city years ago not too far from that little town..and since I've gotten older..visit it more frequently. Running across and reaquainted with old friends and classmates that never left. The old town hasn't really changed much...except..they roll the sidewalks up at 8PM rather than at 5 or 6 now. Most every resident has a golf cart..and the James Dean Festival and car show really draws the crowds in the fall and changes the whole little town from sleepy to wide awake for a moment. Not sure that I could re-adjust back to that small town life,tho on a full time basis. Athough..they have added a Village Pantry and 8 pump GasMart on the highway.....
HD

 

[Flipped Lid]

Hmmm. Fairmount isn't close to 7000. I'm guessing Gas City or Alexandria.

 

[Mr. Hallack]

I moved from a big suburbia, Simi Valley, California to Rockland Maine, and from the beginning it was a pretty smooth transition for me. I never acted like I was some big shot from the city or whatever. Just kind of blended in over the years. If someone asked where I'm originally from I'd tell them and get the usual questions of "How do you like winters up here?" or "What brings you out here?" And after being here for 11 years now I wouldn't want to move back to California.

No matter where you go, nothing is perfect, there's always going to be problems, always going to be brain dead idiots, crime, etc. But I love it here and do consider it home.

 

[davidraphael]

I lived my entire life in big cities: Manchester, LA, London, Moscow...

..and then I found myself in a small Bavarian village in the Alps...

I learned to:
a) slow down
b) join in more. small towns are a community. Everyone likes to know who is living with them. Open-door policy is important.
b) not take myself so seriously
c) drink more beer

I also learned that people can be much more provincial. But I learned to just let them be. I learned to focus on the things I did have in common with them and ignore those bits that I don't agree with.

I like being able to walk down the street and wave at people I know, and when you go to the local bar they already know what you're going to order. It's comforting. And people will bend over backward to help you.
But this 'everyone-knows-everyone-else' situation can have its downsides. I know one guy who was just about the last guy in town to find out he was about to get divorced...

 

[C-dot]

Here's a city slicker pokin' her nose in...

My parents and I tried small town life for about a year when I was a small child, and I frequently visit small towns today. Having been born and raised in the big city, though, I can't say I would like living in a small town at all. I once spent a week at an exes family's farmhouse way waay out in the boonies, and it was a really alien experience! For one thing, I couldn't believe how dark it was. It also unsettled me how quiet it was. Driving around there was weird too, because there was nobody on the long, winding roads (and at night, no light at all). The people tried my patience aswell... I found them incredibly slow in line at stores, very chatty to passersby, and very slouchy lol

It really hit me that weekend how used to the noisy city I am, and how hard it would be for me to leave it! I applaud all of you who adapted to small towns!

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Hmmm. Fairmount isn't close to 7000. I'm guessing Gas City or Alexandria.

OK..3,000...maybe. Better??

 

[olive bleu]

For one thing, I couldn't believe how dark it was. It also unsettled me how quiet it was.

I have a very overactive imagination that really doesn't lend itself well to being on dark deserted roads. I have a very vivid memory of walking home by myself late one night after going to see "THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE"..( the first one..and yes i'm that old) and i swore i could hear someone in the trees whispering my name..i like the safety of numbers.And the patrolling police cars. lol

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I lived in a small town for 31 years -- hated it. Moved to the city in 2007 and I feel way more at home here. City people are more accepting and friendly, in my experiences. In the small town I was nothing more than something they could gossip about because I like to dress different. And trust me -- the gossip was terrible and so far-fetched is was almost comical.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

That happened to my Pa here, with the lady next door. She's owned her business for over 20 years and feels that this should be a 'good ol' boys club' and therefore she can do whatever she wants because she has been here longer and shops at the Piggly Wiggly. She threatened the life of the guy who put up our fence to keep her drunks out and used to feel our parking lot was hers for her customers cars as well as her own.

It'd be interesting to read of those with small-town experiences that weren't scripted from the pre-Helen Crump Mayberry.

Has anyone been ostracized (or "Osterized") just because they weren't born in the area? How about that legendary small town gossip? What about the thuggery of small-town teenagers who wish they were from and therefore act like they're living in some hostile big city?

 

[Flipped Lid]

I'm sure that's much closer. I know the area well. I grew up about sixty miles northwest of there in an even smaller town.

OK..3,000...maybe. Better??