A persons word is their bond

[GHT]

I know I've read about studies on happiness and once one rises above being destitute (as destitute people are not happy), happiness does not increase noticeably with wealth. I know all the jokes that follow - "try it on me," "if money doesn't buy happiness, you're shopping in the wrong place," etc. - but the studies are pretty consistent (based on my memory, as a money manager, I've met several lottery winners and have read the studies over the years).
Very glad she's happy now.

Hand on heart, I have never bought a lottery ticket. One of the amusing statistics I read somewhere, probably the internet, I have more chance of being knocked down by a car on my way to buy a lottery ticket than I have of winning a jackpot.
And on that point of happiness, Tina and I don't have any children, but we are still a family, albeit a family of two. She makes me happy, especially when I'm down. She just knows how to lift me, and to think, we got married very young because her Father wouldn't permit us to share a hotel room to save on costs. We used to compete in Latin & Ballroom dancing, the competitions took us all over the country, it cost us quite a bit. It made sense to share a room, but her Dad was having non of it. "You sleep with my daughter," he said, rather emphatically, "you marry her." So I did.

 

[2jakes]

Hand on heart, I have never bought a lottery ticket. One of the amusing statistics I read somewhere, probably the internet, I have more chance of being knocked down by a car on my way to buy a lottery ticket than I have of winning a jackpot.
And on that point of happiness, Tina and I don't have any children, but we are still a family, albeit a family of two. She makes me happy, especially when I'm down. She just knows how to lift me, and to think, we got married very young because her Father wouldn't permit us to share a hotel room to save on costs. We used to compete in Latin & Ballroom dancing, the competitions took us all over the country, it cost us quite a bit. It made sense to share a room, but her Dad was having non of it. "You sleep with my daughter," he said, rather emphatically, "you marry her." So I did.

The first year the “lotto” came to town, folks went nuts.
I was assigned to do a report for the 10 PM news.

Poor ignorant people were practically spending most of their paychecks
thinking that they were going to win simply because they had bought
so many tickets.

Sad!

 

[2jakes]

Brother-in-law who won a 10M lotto.

He told me he played the same number every week for 6-7 years
before he got “lucky”.

 

[tonyb]

I forget the number, but it's a crazy high number of multi-million dollar lottery winners who end up broke. At worst, assuming it was $10 million upfront, they should have gotten $5 million (and probably more); if it was $10 million over twenty years, their take might have been closer to $3 million if they took it up front.

A lot to loose, but some crazy spending and bad investing (or worse, being swindled) and it can go pretty quickly. As to your last line, I know I've read about studies on happiness and once one rises above being destitute (as destitute people are not happy), happiness does not increase noticeably with wealth. I know all the jokes that follow - "try it on me," "if money doesn't buy happiness, you're shopping in the wrong place," etc. - but the studies are pretty consistent (based on my memory, as a money manager, I've met several lottery winners and have read the studies over the years).

Very glad she's happy now.

Yup. Destitution isn't conducive to happiness. Constant money worries make for a miserable existence. So yeah, for all but those rare few who find real happiness in a homeless shelter, a certain amount of money is necessary to a satisfying life.

I like "nice" things. But I don't think a new high-end car, say, would make me any happier than a decent running 10-year-old Chevy. Not after the new wore off, anyway.

 

[tonyb]

The first year the “lotto” came to town, folks went nuts.
I was assigned to do a report for the 10 PM news.

Poor ignorant people were practically spending most of their paychecks
thinking that they were going to win simply because they had bought
so many tickets.

Sad!

Wholly anecdotal observation ...

The places I see people buy more than five bucks worth of lottery tickets are in low-income areas. I've seen people buy 50 bucks worth of 'em at a clip.

In reality, the lottery is a tax on the poor, and on those poor at arithmetic. And on magical thinkers.

And yes, someone will indeed win. And many, many others will lose. And many of those losers can scarcely afford the loss.

 

[ChiTownScion]

I only play the multistate lotteries when the jackpot tops $100 million. Well aware of the fact that I've a snowball's chance in hell of actually winning... but it's worth a five or a ten to nurse the fantasy for a few days.

As far as gambling in general, my wife and I set foot in a casino a grand total of one time in our lives. We were walking around the island in Montreal, enjoying the sunshine, and decided to pop in- maybe enjoy an underpriced meal. Most depressing slice of humanity I've ever experienced: the people playing had the glare of zombies, and no one seemed to actually be enjoying the gaming experience. Decided that we'd rather spend our money on a nice dinner, or even a decent gelato, and left.

 

[tonyb]

In 1992, during the last year of the old Longacres racetrack, just south of Seattle, I had, as an employment perk, a membership in the Turf Club.

We club members got priority parking and a private elevator up to the club, where we watched the races in climate-controlled comfort and had our own parimutuel windows and Johnny-on-the-spot service from the staff.

I was a fish out of water there. I knew very little about horse racing, and I was about the furthest thing from a high roller.

I allowed myself to lose 20 bucks per visit. My betting strategy was to bet on a longshot to show. (As I said, I knew next to nothing about horse racing, but it didn't take long to learn how to read the tote board.)

The track itself was a pleasant place -- handsome old structures, well-maintained grounds. So there was reason to be there other than merely gambling. And it's fun to watch the races. Quite the spectacle.

Contrast that with the run of tribal casinos which have sprung up on recent years. As ChiTownScion observed about the casino near Montreal, those places can be downright depressing. The tribal casinos in the greater Seattle area, of which there are several, are the last holdout for smokers, seeing how they are on tribal land and therefore not subject to the state's clean indoor air act. It wasn't so long ago that the whole damn world smelled like that. Add that to my reasons for not liking those places.

 

[GHT]

I only play the multistate lotteries when the jackpot tops $100 million. Well aware of the fact that I've a snowball's chance in hell of actually winning... but it's worth a five or a ten to nurse the fantasy for a few days.

One of the perks of my job back in my corporate days, was to take clients out on a jolly. On this particular occasion, head office had sent me a dozen pairs of tickets, as well as privileged access to the VIP area, at a famous horse race meeting, known as: The Cheltenham Gold Cup. My guests and I were all given a complimentary £50 float. This was when fifty pounds was worth something.
Everyone was dressed in their racing best finery and all seemed to be studiously examining the racing form. They all seemed to be enjoying themselves and although, I too was there for the enjoyment, I was expected to keep a watchful eye on our clients. The complimentary champagne might induce regrettable behaviour. But all went well.

In the last race of the meeting, our head honcho had a horse running, he was gambling mad, had a string of race horses. I only knew it was one from his stable because beside each horse's name is that of the jockey and owner. It was a long shot though, at forty to one. Well that long shot romped home with my ten pounds riding on him. At the time, £400 was about a week's wage for me.

Next day, at work, I was talking to my regional manager about my good fortune. "Don't mention it to Colin," (the head honcho,) he advised, "Colin's vet entered the horse into the race just to test out the recovery of a previous injury, he didn't tell Colin," explained my regional boss. But it didn't take long for my good fortune to get around on the company's grape vine. Colin took it quite well, at least he smiled.

 

[tonyb]

I preferred the company of the Regular Shmoes at the track. From my perspective, the primary benefit of the Turf Club membership was that it got me into the track free of charge. (Not that I made it a regular habit.)

The long faces seen there weren't only on the horses. More losers than winners.

 

[Fading Fast]

...The track itself was a pleasant place -- handsome old structures, well-maintained grounds. So there was reason to be there other than merely gambling. And it's fun to watch the races. Quite the spectacle.

Contrast that with the run of tribal casinos which have sprung up on recent years. As ChiTownScion observed about the casino near Montreal, those places can be downright depressing. The tribal casinos in the greater Seattle area, of which there are several, are the last holdout for smokers, seeing how they are on tribal land and therefore not subject to the state's clean indoor air act. It wasn't so long ago that the whole damn world smelled like that. Add that to my reasons for not liking those places.

Race tracks are, for me, an entertaining day where making small bets is part of the entertainment - it isn't real gambling as I know the odds will, overtime, beat me so I never bet anything more than entertainment money. We go to Belmont and Saratoga as both are beautiful tracks that - with good weather - make for a fun day.

To each his own, but I feel horrible just being in a casino - even the air feels fake. I don't go because there is no entertainment value to it, they seem sad, fake and sleazy to me.

 

[Alex Neves]

Just an observation, as much as I utilize the internet for finding those hard to find items and resources that bring me joy, with age I am starting to feel that the internet and the anonymity and perceived distance that it gives people , is leading to the decline of the " My word is my bond " era.

In life and day to day business dealings, if I make a commitment I stick to it. If I make a promise I uphold it. The percentage of individuals that reciprocate this same ideology seems to be on the decline, it is too easy in these times to think that you will never cross paths with an individual again and therefore why bother putting the extra effort in to seal the deal.

I recently purchased a couple of fedoras through online auctions and two different sellers, paid top dollar for them and being that I am from Canada paid dearly on the freight and brokerage to get them across the border. Both deals went well, items as described or better than described. The difference in the transactions, one vendor didn't promise anything and yet excelled in customer care and satisfaction while the other vendor , although professional, promised a slight refund that never did transpire. It's a little thing but with time on my hands today, it made me look inward and will serve as a reminder to always strive to maintain the " My word is my bond " commitment to those I encounter in this small world.

Cheers,
NWL

Hello NWL,


I couldn't agree more with the opinions stated in your post.

IMO, " My word is my bond " is like hard work. It pays off.

I’m a Portuguese citizen, but I lived in Brazil my entire life. And truth is, Brazil (Brazilians as well) have a bad reputation, so in most cases, when I have to deal with someone overseas there is a barrier of trust.

And we all know that trust cannot be bought, and it must be earned. That’s why I believe, and teach my kids, “my word is my bond”, even in the smallest things.

Cheers

A

 

[2jakes]

Just an observation, as much as I utilize the internet for finding those hard to find items and resources that bring me joy, with age I am starting to feel that the internet and the anonymity and perceived distance that it gives people , is leading to the decline of the " My word is my bond " era....................

Cheers,
NWL

As you probably know, people on the internet will say things that
they usually wouldn't say face to face.
Also there’s always that aspect of how the receiver perceives
the message, reaching a conclusion that may not have been
what the sender intended.

I have people, mostly women, who will open up & express things
that they wouldn't have shared with others.
They trust & know that what is shared, remains with me
and I will not pass judgement.
My word is my bond!

 

[HudsonHawk]

And my grandmother taught me to handicap horses and gamble at cards - conventional my upbringing was not.

My great-grandmother used to cheat me at canasta. She was the meanest person I've ever known. She was even mean to my father, her grandson, but for some inexplicable reason, she adored my mother.

 

[Fading Fast]

...And we all know that trust cannot be bought, and it must be earned. That’s why I believe, and teach my kids, “my word is my bond”, even in the smallest things. ...

Exactly how I was raised. It was a strict (but not abusive) upbringing where there was some small tolerance for doing stupid kid stuff, but no tolerance for lying about it.

Also, I could, once in a awhile and politicly (none of this crazy talking back to your parents you see today) argue about doing a specific chore in a specific time frame and might be given relief - "okay, go with your friends this afternoon, but by tomorrow at noon, the entire lawn better be rakes and the leaves bagged and everything put away." By noon the next day, it was done - I knew there was no give at all on that as - a "small thing" or not - I had given my word that it would be done by then.

While, like every human being on earth, I can complain about some of the crazy / unfair things my parents did raising me, I have nothing but respect for the values - like "your word is your bond -" that they instilled in me. I am sure your kids will understand and respect what you are doing now, when they are adults.

 

[Fading Fast]

My great-grandmother used to cheat me at canasta. She was the meanest person I've ever known. She was even mean to my father, her grandson, but for some inexplicable reason, she adored my mother.

I'm sorry to hear that. My grandmother was of the old school - strict, kids were not to be indulged, etc. - and she did scare me a bit, but overall, we had a good time together as she seemed to like me and, in her own way, tried to be nice (I felt that as a kid, understand it even more as an adult).

It's hard, I think, for this generation to appreciate how parents and grandparents weren't overly concerned about being their kids and grandkids friends (at least not where I grew up), but were concerned with raising kids with values, etc. (and I know parents want to do that today as well, but they also seem to want to be their kids / grandkids friends).

The small nice things my grandmother did - amidst the general strict order and rules - is something I sensed as a kid / understand as an adult was her trying to be a nice grandmother, but a kid today would probably just see her as a mean old lady. That said, knowing you, I have no doubt that if you say it, then your great-grandmother was mean, it unfortunately happens.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My great-grandmother died when I was a year and a half old -- attending her funeral is my earliest memory -- so I don't really have any first-hand memory of what she was like. But my mother goes on at length about how mean and cranky she was. Not violent or aggressively mean -- just not a "nice person." When I got to know a bit about her life, I understood *why* she was that way -- pregnant and then married at 17, divorced at 23 from an abusive drunk who ended up literally dying in the gutter, and spending years working in a shoe factory and trying to raise two daughters. That'd make me mean and cranky too.

Her daughter, my grandmother, had her cranky side -- when I was little and got into trouble she'd chase me around the room with a yardstick -- but mostly she was just lonely. Her husband worked fourteen hours a day and all he wanted to do when he got home was eat and sleep. She was stuck in the house all day either doing housework or bookkeeping for the business. I spent as much time at her house as I did at my own as a kid, in part because she just seemed to appreciate the company. We'd sit in the living room and listen to the ball game, and she'd be working on the books and I'd be reading the paper or something, and it was just a pleasant experience for both of us.

The one time I remember her really taking a firm line on a values issue was the day she cracked me hard across the face because she'd heard me use the "n-word" while playing in the street. I don't remember what the context was, but she heard it, hauled me up on the porch and slapped me so hard my teeth rattled. She had very strong views about that word, and eventually I found out why: as a child she had joined with several other kids in jeering and throwing rocks at a black man who happened to be passing thru town, and she felt profoundly guilty about that for the rest of her life.

 

[ChiTownScion]

Never knew my paternal grandmother: she died in childbirth when my dad was three. He ended up being dropped off at an orphanage in the middle of the night by a father (dear old grand dad) who would promise to visit on birthdays and never did- because skirt chasing and boozing was a higher priority.

My maternal grandmother was a stereotype Irish matriarch- harpy. Always meddling in her daughters' marriages and convinced that her never married son could do no wrong. Her constant belittling of my day- and oblivious blindness to the faults of my mom in that pathological mess that they called a 29 year marriage- is the root cause of most of that extended family's dysfunction.

All that said: she had her kind side. She doted on me as a kid, and gave me a lot of attention that my own mom (busy with my severely handicapped older brother and baby sister) could not. Giving a three or four year old a sense of worth, family, and responsibility to others (as best she could, I believe) is a strong factor in mitigation on her behalf. She died just before I got married.

 

[2jakes]

Perhaps someone may care to explain why folks have favorites when it comes to kids.

My growing up years before I started elementary were mostly living
with my grandmother.
Her home situation was similar in a way to the film “Radio Days” (Woody Allen)
where my aunt,uncle & cousins lived together with her.

My grandmother was a loving & strict person, mostly with the girls.
I never heard her swear.
In the mornings, I recall her bringing me breakfast in bed.
She never spanked me. But I was not a spoiled brat.
I remember her telling the others...”I love my boy because he listens to me”.
I’d tell my cousins & sisters...”if grandma tells you to play over here & not where
the flowers are (she had a beautiful garden) she won’t get after you.”

I have never been slapped or physically abused when my folks got after
me. I did get spanked but not severely.
It’s not that I have forgotten, on the contrary, I remember my mother
being harsh on my sisters.

I guess I was a “mama’s boy”,
although no one called me that to my face.

And of all the women in my life then & now,
I have never been slapped in the face by any of them.

At least not yet!


(Grandmother came from Irish/German stock & Methodist in name only.)

 

[Fading Fast]

Perhaps someone may care to explain why folks have favorites when it comes to kids....

They're human first, parents second. In most situations that I've had real insight to, parents have favorites. Most aren't bad stories where the not-favored is abused, ignored, etc., but parents are human and something about one kids versus the other will give them a tilt toward one of them.

I worked with a man who had three kids and he said his wife so favored two of them, that he compensated by favoring the third. That didn't sound good to me, but I never say the family in action, just heard the stories.

 

[LizzieMaine]

In our family, my brother got favored because he was sickly as a baby -- "don't pick on him, he's got allergies," as if that justified him throwing me down the cellar stairs when he was fifteen. But Ma finally wised up and ended up throwing him out of the house when he tried to get rough with her. She claims not to have favorites now -- "you're all a pain in the you-know-where" -- but I seem to get along better with her than the other two.

Closest anyone ever got to breakfast in bed in our house was when Ma would dump a dishpan full of ice water on us if we refused to get up for school. To this day I'm up and out at the first stroke of the alarm clock.