You Look It, But Do You Act It?

[Foofoogal]

This is a very good point -- and as wild and rambunctious as the twenties were supposed to have been in the back seats of every available Ford, there's reason to believe there was even more of it going on in the thirties and forties: the Depression, again, was an enormous catalyst for such behavior, since many young people despaired of being able to afford to marry. Tourist camps outside town did a thriving business in these years with anonymous couples named "Smith." Ditto for the war era -- there was plenty of "please give me something to remember you by" going on.

The difference, at least from my perspective, is that such behavior wasn't as -- politicized, for want of a better term, as it became later on. It happened, mature adults of the world were aware that it happened, and it was just one of those things, but it wasn't waved like a flag of cultural liberation the way it was from the sixties onward. To my way of looking at it, it's that HEY LOOK AT US WE"RE HAVIN SEXXXXXX attitude that points in a direct line to the sleazy raunch culture of today, a culture that many women, not just sour-faced old prudes, understandably find offensive and demeaning. My own view? Do what you gotta do, but please, quit carrying on like it makes you daring, unique, or special. Because it doesn't.

Seriously. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap
I do believe the minority has take over the majority though.
Like I stated once upon a time there have always since Adam and Eve been bad and good men and bad and good women. The problem is now people have such difference of opinions of these terms.
No absolutes seems to be the norm but I do believe a backlash is coming.

My mother told me during the WW11 when the men were away military wives were having illicit carrying ons on the steps of buildings in the 1940s.
The stats do speak for themselves though and are easily found on the net as to the breakdown in traditional mores and family structure. Surely someone took sociology classes.
As far as teaching an old dog new tricks I have found that once people have children the majority fall back on how they were raised mostly.
I know as I was one of them.
This conservative used to be way the opposite when I was a teen. I thought my parents were the squarest people on the earth.
After watching my extended huge families daily soap operas I swung back.
We are what we are due to our experiences.

 

[Joie DeVive]

The difference, at least from my perspective, is that such behavior wasn't as -- politicized, for want of a better term, as it became later on. It happened, mature adults of the world were aware that it happened, and it was just one of those things, but it wasn't waved like a flag of cultural liberation the way it was from the sixties onward. To my way of looking at it, it's that HEY LOOK AT US WE"RE HAVIN SEXXXXXX attitude that points in a direct line to the sleazy raunch culture of today, a culture that many women, not just sour-faced old prudes, understandably find offensive and demeaning. My own view? Do what you gotta do, but please, quit carrying on like it makes you daring, unique, or special. Because it doesn't.

These are some interesting thoughts, and through an odd coincidence related to a book I finished reading recently. I found Carol Platt Liebau's Prude a thoughtful consideration of the sexual culture of today.

This author asserts that the sexually charged culture has become so influential with our youth that being called a prude, which is actually a word derived from a term which denotes honor and virtue, is actually considered more damning than being called a slut. Sexual restraint was once considered an admirable trait, a virtue and a goal. That's not to say that the teens were all "pure" until marriage, but it was certainly the societal expectation. Given, there were some dark consequences to this expectation too, but overall, it did encourage sexual restraint and fidelity.

Liebau makes an argument that much of the sexualization in our society has it's roots in the free love movement of the sixties and on. She points out that while the first wave of feminism, circa 1900, actually moved to distance itself from the idea of free love believing that it would be harmful to women and children, the second and particularly third wave feminism embraced the idea. She asserts that this free love culture encourages women to "have sex like men", meaning the lowest common denominator of men in this case (as in Don Juan as opposed to the Jimmy Stewart...). Sorry gents.
Her next related thought I found especially thought provoking. She goes on to theorize that women following this model can actually be playing into misogyny. By seeking out shallow encounters with little or no meaning are actually devaluing the feminine desire (statistically speaking) for a stable and loving relationship. The author explained it as a case of again elevating the male and devaluing the feminine, and in effect doing the opposite of the ideal of feminism; empowering women.

Agree or not, I thought it was a fascinating read.

 

[freebird]

We are what we are due to our experiences.

Very well put. I experienced a moderately strict upbringing in rural Oklahoma. I have no idea what big city life would be like, nor do I want to learn. I may be stuck firmly in a rut, but it's my rut and I'm comfortable with it...with a few exceptions.

I don't believe all music is evil, most is good (with the exception of Rap, which is neither music nor good - and I'm talking secular music for the moment). I like Jazz, Country(what do you get when you play a Country song backward? Your Wife, dog, job, and life back), Big Band (I even listen to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy ).

I believe that we get out of music what we look or listen for. When I think vintage, I think morals, law, common courtesy toward each other (this is what is sorely missing in todays world).

In the vintage era we wouldn't have had a group of teenage girls making a pact to become pregnant so they could raise their kids together......mainly because they got married as teens way back when. My Mom was 16 when she married my Dad, and they are still together...not that it's been easy for either one, but they had whatever is it that makes one stick to their guns.

Life isn't perfect, it sure wasn't back then, but they did know how to treat each other with respect - whether they agreed with that person or not-and THAT is what I think is the best thing about life back then. (oh, and the cars,and other things from daily life was built to last and the design was the bomb)

 

[scotrace]

This has been good. Anyone think to bring sandwiches?

 

[Foofoogal]

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap
Yeah. You didn't shut it down yet.

Isn't this a great world really.
I would like to think that we are above animals in our desires. I do see though that each animal has their specific roles as animals. A lion is a lion and a giraffe is a giraffe.
I think the FL makes it much easier in a way to understand people not like me. We cannot expect people really to have our mores if they have been raised entirely different.
I am sure when I speak on here it sounds so foreign to those who truly have not lived Beavers life and I don't really think we are necessarily meaning anything as attacking each other as misunderstanding each other.
I would like to hope so anyway.
What one takes away from their idea of vintage may and/or is very different then mine I have now gleaned after being here awhile.
Very strange really.

 

[pgoat]

This thread did NOT turn out like I thought it would!

 

[freebird]

I hope I don't come across as too critical sounding...I'm not. I don't judge anyone or try not to. I believe in the old axiom that you don't know someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes....(although, today one might have someone willing to walk a mile in your shoes by means of gunpoint. lol)

 

[Mike in Seattle]

I believe that I mirror the sentiments of the lyrics in Chet Baker's song "I'm Old Fashioned".

A great song, but a minor point - Chet Baker's just one of many who have recorded the song. The song (music & lyrics) was written by music great Jerome Kern.

 

[Ben]

This has been good. Anyone think to bring sandwiches?

Let's just hope the coffee is decaf. I realize it's not vintage, but a lot of people could use the switch.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Let's just hope the coffee is decaf. I realize it's not vintage, but a lot of people could use the switch.

Of course it's vintage. Sanka, anyone?

 

[pdxvintagette]

There's a lot of really interesting comments and material here. Its nice to hear that there are people of such different minds able to get along within the same community.

I also think that we might not be the best people to answer this question about ourselves!

For instance, I would never label myself "square" the way that Lizzie does. I swear, love crass sexual humor/innuendo, do get sauced on occasion, and sometimes speed on the freeway (never those last two in combination!!)

However. I have a good number of social acquaintences from the rockabilly community who would fall down laughing if I tried to assert my lack-of-squareness to them. As far as they're concerned, I'm the girl-next-door, barely corrupted, slightly-geeky, a little-TOO-vintage-girl. (And I'm well liked for it, too.)

I once made a huge round of good-byes at a party, and realized only after I'd left that somehow I missed the hostess. I called the next day to profusely apologize for having neglected to thank her. I was brought up on Miss Manners & Emily Post ... I felt like a schmuck. No need ... apparently she was *ahem* in the bedroom with another guest.

For those of us whose lifestyle falls somewhere in the grey area of completely-vintage and completely-modern the opinion about just HOW old fashioned it is will change drastically based on who is seeing it! (I can't tell you the bizarre reactions I've received from some, just because I don't own a microwave!)

 

[jamespowers]

(I can't tell you the bizarre reactions I've received from some, just because I don't own a microwave!)

That's nothing. No dishwasher, garbage disposal, trash compactor or microwave oven here.

 

[ShooShooBaby]

That's nothing. No dishwasher, garbage disposal, trash compactor or microwave oven here.

you just described my apartment!

 

[jamespowers]

you just described my apartment!

This is a house though. Built in the teens to twenties though.
Next thing we are going to try to out poor each other like my relatives used to when discussing the Depression.

 

[LizzieMaine]

This is a house though. Built in the teens to twenties though.
Next thing we are going to try to out poor each other like my relatives used to when discussing the Depression.

When I was growing up the rich kids in my neighborhood ate dirt three times a day. Me, I got government surplus dirt. And we only had it once a day.

 

[ShooShooBaby]

and as for the OP's questions...

Do you act the part? heck no! even when i'm in vintage i tend to cuss like a sailor. i ride a bike with a men's frame so underwear is often/sometimes flashed. my manners are based more around being kind and fair than doing things properly for the sake of doing things properly.

Are your views old-fashioned? not in the least. i'm a modern gal, through and through. my interest in the golden era is strictly aesthetic.

What do you ladies look for in men? i don't always look for men, first of all. but i generally look for partners who are adventurous, intelligent, fun, creative, loyal, good communicators, neither controlling nor pushovers, and capable of participating in responsible open relationships.

 

[jamespowers]

When I was growing up the rich kids in my neighborhood ate dirt three times a day. Me, I got government surplus dirt. And we only had it once a day.

Exactly. My friends and I used to parody it and try to out poor each other. Kind of reminded me of the two older guys in the Muppet Show.
Then there was my aunt's story about the neighbor who came over and asked my grandfather for some potatoes to have with the family dog. :eusa_doh:

 

[ShooShooBaby]

This is a house though. Built in the teens to twenties though.
Next thing we are going to try to out poor each other like my relatives used to when discussing the Depression.

ok well then you also described the last 3 houses i lived in - which were built in 1906, 1922, and 1892.

 

[jamespowers]

What do you ladies look for in men? i don't always look for men, first of all. but i generally look for partners who are adventurous, intelligent, fun, creative, loyal, good communicators, neither controlling nor pushovers, and capable of participating in responsible open relationships.

I think Alan Alda is still married.

 

[Foofoogal]

Are your views old-fashioned? not in the least. i'm a modern gal, through and through. my interest in the golden era is strictly aesthetic.

Please don't take this as not a compliment shooshoobaby but you look almost more than anyone on the lounge as the girl next door. If judging book by its cover I would say more like Sandra Dee or Gidget.
I am sure you are very nice.
While I am not backtracking on my views any I do want to reemphasize as I have before that one cannot always judge a book by the cover.
I have seen the most wicked men in 3 piece suits standing in foyers of churches and know the sweetest people with tattoos (though I personally don't like them as once again I cannot get past people writing on themselves) from nearly head to toe.
I watch how people are to children and animals alot. It will tell you alot.