You Look It, But Do You Act It?

[sinatras_gal]

I was searching through the threads, and I couldn't seem to find one about this , and I want to hear what loungers have to say.

I notice that a lot of threads circulate around fashion, photo's of yourself, basically- the way we look. I think that being vintage is a lot more than just the way we dress...

Do you act the part? Are your views old-fashioned?
What do you ladies look for in men? And men what do you look for in ladies?
Men, do you like to dance? etc... You're thoughts? If you don't is it because you feel as if you wouldn't be able to fit in with society?

For myself, I'm one of the most old-fashioned women you'll ever meet(morally, fashionably, hobbies) , and I'm waiting for a man to ask me to dance.

 

[CharlesB]

A bit of both...

If there's a dance floor I'm on it

If there's a gal in front of the door I'll open it

If theres a raunchy bawdy and inappropriate joke...I'll make it!

I was searching through the threads, and I couldn't seem to find one about this , and I want to hear what loungers have to say.

I notice that a lot of threads circulate around fashion, photo's of yourself, basically- the way we look. I think that being vintage is a lot more than just the way we dress...

Do you act the part? Are your views old-fashioned?
What do you ladies look for in men? And men what do you look for in ladies?
Men, do you like to dance? etc... You're thoughts? If you don't is it because you feel as if you wouldn't be able to fit in with society?

For myself, I'm one of the most old-fashioned women you'll ever meet(morally, fashionably, hobbies) , and I'm waiting for a man to ask me to dance.

 

[freebird]

I'm not a dancer, never attended any of my High School proms, just didnt fit in. [huh] However, I am quite old-fashioned in my views. I open doors, pull chairs etc. I treat others as I would want to be treated.

 

[Naama]

Well, I have to say, I don't 100% look it (I don't mind being not 100%period correct and I barely wear true vintage) and I'm also not act it at all I guess..... Why? Because I don't belive in the "good old days". They had there problems back then just as we have them today. And one of the big problems was as a women you've been everything else then liberated. I think people in past also acted pretty much different from what we think now, they just had to hide it I also belive that the Hayes Code /Golden Era Cinema make us belive that everything was pure innocence back in the days.



Naama

 

[DeaconKC]

I rarely dress in vintage, however, I am VERY old fashioned. My folks raised me right, to be a gentleman. A friend described me as being born a hundred years too late.

 

[Diamondback]

Well, Miss SG, another "yes and no"--largely because of the fact that I tend to believe my first responsibility if I'm a lady's companion is ensuring her safety, and all else comes after that. (Which is why I've worked very hard to cultivate an image of being shall we say "not totally sane"... if someone's going to try something unbelievably stupid, the hope is they'll be encouraged to find somewhere else to do it and someone else to do it to.)

As with Freebird, I do try to conduct myself to the old standards of a gentleman, and more specifically to the highest of them: the standard I set for myself (even though I'll admit I don't always meet it, but I think setting that bar and the effort say something) is that of a general officer in the United States Army circa 1900-1945. I'm with him on "treat others as you want to be treated", as well.

I'd say personal views are a mix of "old" and "new"--I set very high standards for myself, but don't expect others to hold to them; kind of a "you live your life your way and I'll live mine my way" and "I mind my own business, you mind yours" outlook. (And I really believe if everyone just stuck to these two things the world would be a much better place, but that's just my own personal opinion--sometimes the simplest solutions are the best, and it doesn't get much more simple than that, right?)

On dance, I have an interest but have never learned because of extreme issues with others at close-range or physical contact (I frequently had to tell an ex-colleague "Remove the arm or lose it--I'm not sure how long I can control my reflexes!") along with the fact that I'm also a first-class klutz with two left feet and enough mass to potentially be painful in a collision or if I fall.

All that said--since I've been working on all these issues for a while--if I ever get to your part of Italy or you to Seattle (or whatever part of the USA I'm in at that time), may I have a dance, bella ragazza? (Even though you may have to coach me a little first...)

 

[Mojito]

I think we all fit somewhere on the spectrum of vintage lifestyles - it's not an either/or proposition. For example, I would hope that few, if any of us, today hold what were once mainstream beliefs that would today be characterised as racist. In the "Golden Age" an Indigenous Australian would have been kicked out of many of our pubs, barred from many jobs, and excluded from the Census. Very, very few of us would live a completely vintage lifestyle (if we did, we wouldn't be sitting behind a computer screen).

I personally would not want to go too excessively "vintage" in the sense of adopting what were once mainstream mores and beliefs - it depends on what those mores were. Being vintage does not mean they are automatically better - I much prefer the career and lifestyle choices I have today as a woman.

I might be considered old fashioned in terms of good manners, but I think common courtesy, based on common sense and the idea of treating others as you yourself would wish to be treated, should be timeless. I'm not necessarily talking about forms of social etiquette - the rituals which can change from age to age (and were not static over previous decades) - but treating other human beings with practical respect and empathy.

I do have what are probably slightly archaic views on honour and duty. I'm not talking about empty shows of these, either - I think that these qualities should be eminently practical and benefit those around us. Having had the good fortunate to be born into an affluent society and a comfortable socio/economic strata, I feel an obligation to contribute something to the wellbeing of others not so fortunate. I also believe that sometimes the good of others, such as family members, is sometimes a duty we need to fulfil, whether it be raising children well or helping to nurse a family member. Although as I write this, I have to say I don't think it's an excusively old-fashioned virtue.

In a partner, I'd prioritise compassion, empathy, courtesy and similar interests.

 

[Diamondback]

:eusa_doh: D'oh! Miss Mojito, thanks for reminding me about a question I missed.

What I look for: loyalty and character first (particularly "calling it as you see it", I need someone who'll tell me what she believes I need to hear, rather than what she thinks or I think I want to), then the emotional stuff. And I don't want someone who'll expect to make all the decisions herself, or expect me to do the same, I want a partner--an equal, not a subordinate or superior, even though I may refer to her as "Commander-iin-Chief, Residential Theater of Operations", CinC-HOUSE for short. And a companion for life's adventures would be nice, too... like maybe going for "his and hers" trophies in a long-distance road-race someday.

SG, these threads might tell you a lot about some of us who've been here a while (and more than just that I'm a shameless and constant flirt... lol ) :
http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=20557
http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=17062
http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=1884
http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=15857
http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=17366

And for a somewhat "wild and crazy" look at things...
http://thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=19230&highlight

It's a lot of reading, yes, but I think it'll tell you a lot about a number of us and our thoughts. (Not that I'd decline an opportunity to share a conversation--even if only an online one--with a pretty girl... )

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I'm not 100% "old fashioned" in my way of life or thinking. I actually prefer the lurid, gaudy, and "offensive" parts of the "Golden Era." That's why I love off-colour pre-Code cinema and exploitation films. I like it that so many people think the "good old days" were so pure and wholesome, yet I've got all this evidence that it wasn't. Sure, it's not as "in your face" as today, but it was still there. Imagine what it was like to all these people who just came out of the uptight Victorian and Edwardian eras! It must've been totally offensive to see a woman 30 feet high in nothing but her step-ins!

Which brings this to me! I swear a lot. I like vulgar and trashy things. I like to laugh and LAUGH HARD! But I'm also very "moral" (I love my husband and no one else!), I'm polite when around those I don't know, I always use Please and Thank You, I never use swear words around family or those I don't know. I don't even put other people down on this message board just because they might not dress like me!!! I don't think I'm any different than a woman my age from 1934. Or any woman from any time for that matter! I've heard that my grandmother (b. 1901) had a vulgar sense of humour and I guess I get it from her!

 

[freebird]

What I look for is someone who not only acts like a lady, but is a lady, knows that her opinion is not only wanted, but will be taken seriously and will be as comfortable camping (in a tent) as she is for a night on the town. She must have her own life,hobbies etc. But I would hope that we have things in common.

I value my free time, try not to be too clingy,but also like to share things, moments and thoughts. I have a good hearing, and am a good listener when someone needs to get things off their chest. Communicating is one of my hobbies (radio), so she must be a good communicator, which also involves listening to both sides, as I try to see both sides of a disagreement.

As a Diabetic, I am subject to a predilection for depression. She must understand the disease, symptoms, treatments etc, as I would hope that I could understand her problem areas. I would hope that she would understand that because I am disabled, it doesn't mean that I do not wish to do things, but that I may be unable to do some things like other "normal" folks would.

I like to tease, joke, and flirt, but only with people whom I trust implicitly. If I happen to laugh at an inappropriate time, it's not that I don't understand the seriousness of a conversation, it's because something, a word, a phrase, a look, something has struck me funny.

I'm not perfect, and don't expect her to be perfect either.

I do believe this is my longest post to date here at FL. When I feel strongly about something, I tend to become wordy.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

does this count?
last weekend i was watching a movie with this girl at her house...shes in my acting class...anyway she was stressing over her ex treating her terribly...i turned off the movie, put in a Brian Mcknight CD and asked her to dance...we did...very simple slow dance but really nice...to ease her mind i guess...
that count? ...for anything vintage? for anything, period?

 

[Darhling]

well, hmmm

I will make someone a fantastic wife one day; on the homefront I love to cook and bake, one will never get a sandwich at my house - but at least a two course meal and I take great pride in cooking/making breakfast & dinner. The only time my hostess skills are matched are by my gay friends, but they are truly fabulous! I guess I am 'classic' in many ways; my manners and behaviour but I am also a modern girl in other ways; I have to, since I really havent met a guy that has acted 'old fashioned' towards me.

 

[Darhling]

does this count?
last weekend i was watching a movie with this girl at her house...shes in my acting class...anyway she was stressing over her ex treating her terribly...i turned off the movie, put in a Brian Mcknight CD and asked her to dance...we did...very simple slow dance but really nice...to ease her mind i guess...
that count? ...for anything vintage? for anything, period?

 

[LizzieMaine]

I don't consider myself "old fashioned" as much as I consider myself *square*, and proud of it. I still believe in all that stuff I learned in Girl Scouts, and I do so without a trace of irony. I do my duty, punch the clock, pay my taxes, take my responsibilities seriously, never try to cheat the system, obey the speed limit, and always vote. I've never been drunk, never used any illegal substance, don't believe in rebellion for the sake of rebellion, and never go over 14 items in the express line. I've got no interest at all in living on the edge -- I'd much rather stay in the reasonable middle. And I'm not trying to prove anything by this, challenge anyone, or make any grand social statement -- it's just the way I am. And if that makes me old-fashioned, well, go ahead and call me Grandma.

 

[freebird]

I don't consider myself "old fashioned" as much as I consider myself *square*, and proud of it. I still believe in all that stuff I learned in Girl Scouts, and I do so without a trace of irony. I do my duty, punch the clock, pay my taxes, take my responsibilities seriously, never try to cheat the system, obey the speed limit, and always vote. I've never been drunk, never used any illegal substance, don't believe in rebellion for the sake of rebellion, and never go over 14 items in the express line. I've got no interest at all in living on the edge -- I'd much rather stay in the reasonable middle. And I'm not trying to prove anything by this, challenge anyone, or make any grand social statement -- it's just the way I am. And if that makes me old-fashioned, well, go ahead and call me Grandma.

Bravo Lizzie! :eusa_clap I have never been drunk, the closest I have come to alcohol was my High School science project - building a scale model still and running it. Someone snuck in and drank the mash - but I got an A+ for trying. I drive close to the speed limit-5 mph over. Punched a time clock until I was unable to continue to work. I was and am considered quite boring. The wildest thing I do on a regular basis is shave with my straight razors.[huh] I wasn't in the scouts, so I have to blame it upon my being raised by old fashioned parents in an old fashioned family.

 

[KeyGrip]

Considering that I look like a hobo most of the time, I like to think that I act nicer than I look. I do hold doors for people, though.

 

[Maguire]

I'm undoubtedly old fashioned. I base most of my decisions on what my potential family may need in the future, and as far as i'm concerned music and art and culture hasn't produced anything worthwhile for at least 80 years. I still look on the beatles with disgust. I'm not doing this just to stick myself in an era, but it just happens that way. I think spirit is far more important than donning a hat or putting on a specific cut suit, and i don't like the "trendy" thing of people wearing older style suits or waistcoats or fedoras trying to be "cool" or whatnot. Its not about "cool" to me, just about decency and respect and all those time honored traditions. but most people tell me i sound like someone from their grandfather's generation. This comes from both relatives, friends,and even customers and complete strangers. I already have elaborated on that and have already recieved flak for it all over the place here so i'll just leave it at that, i think my record speaks for itself.

and to those of you women and men who do refuse to bow down to society and act with some self respect and decency and maintain standards for yourself and those you associate with, well i salute you, its more important now than ever. It was easy to behave in those ways when everyone did, but its much harder when you're up against nearly everyone.

 

[Chas]

I walk the walk. It explains why I am so marginalized in Vancouver. They hate vintage here. Old buildings get ripped down, I get harassed on the street for my choice of fashion, and I couldn't get a date to save my life.

Small price to pay for one's identity.

 

[Maguire]

Even my grandfather loved the Beatles. How can someone not like the Beatles? Seriously.....my mind is blown.

As i see it, rock music, especially with the "British invasion" nonesense really perverted whatever was left of decency in popular culture. the music was vulgar, primitive and repetitive or spaced out, nihilistic drugged out trash. Jazz was degenerate, but at least there was a degree of talent and technical ability necessary to play jazz (due to the time signatures) and a degree of creativity (improv may be unmusical arguably, but it takes something to improv something that is catchy). I mean granted, compared to what is played today the Beatles are up there with the best, but compared to what was played even 30 years before their time,... that's a different story. And actually its not the Beatles themselves. For me, the beatles had some catchy tunes. They were "good rock" but in a way that's the danger, as Plato said, a subversive idea or harmful influence may be introduced by talented, intelligent, or even "noble" types, and will not appear damaging at first, but once these elevated types are no longer around you see the idea or concept in its naked form, and we certainly see it today. anyway, this isn't a thread about the beatles, but remember why Elvis and the beatles and all those acts were popular, they were also controversial in their time and remained so. Their effect on popular culture, regardless of their merits as artists (which i'm not too impressed with either) is what i resent.

But then again, my father still complains about the fact that people move when they perform. he talks about how in his time a man would get up on stage dressed nicely and simply play his song (essentially his american music catalogue ends at Pat Boone). Even i'm not that hard on elvis, but i understand his point.

the point is stick to it STAND UP AGAINST THE TIDE, etc. the soul is more important than the material aspects of it. you may end up influencing people positively by example.

 

[Prairie Dog]

I believe that I mirror the sentiments of the lyrics in Chet Baker's song
"I'm Old Fashioned".

"I am not such a clever one about the latest fads
I admit I was never one adored by local lads
Not that I ever tried to be a saint
I’m the type that they classify as quaint

I’m old fashioned, I love the moonlight
I love the old fashioned things
The sound of rain upon a window pane
The starry song that April sings
This years fancies are passing fancies
But sighing sighs, holding hands
These my heart understands

I’m old fashioned but I don’t mind it
That’s how I want to be
As long as you agree
To stay old fashioned with me."