Work and a family

[LaMedicine]

So this has gone to the dogs, now...
Is that where we women rate? In the dog house? :kick: :cry:

 

[ITG]

Back to the home and family thing, though. I'm a stay at home mom, and have been since my daughter was born 14 years ago. I also have a son who is 11. I homeschool my kids. Not for any major reasons, it's just always worked for us, and I enjoy having a say in what my kids are learning. They haven't missed out socially, they're probably out and about then I am!

Having met Trickeration and her family several years back, I can easily say her kids made an impression on me of how well behaved they were. You've done an outstanding job with them. I seem to recall them being good chess players too.

If you want any input on homeschooling (I've seen many versions) or just how to seriously bargain hunt, I'd be happy to share.

I'd be interested as my dad is looking to start possibly homeschooling his daughters next summer on a trial basis to see if they will discipline themselves well enough to study.

Much of the problems we have in schools has to do with parents not taking an active roll in their child's life and/or not consistently disciplining them and letting too many things "slide." Being a teacher, it really has opened my eyes to how I want to raise my own kids one day and how I will expect them to behave.

 

[Angelicious]

Speaking from the medical point of view, I would like at least for girls to have a place where they can be taught straigtforwardly and factually about their body and the functions in terms of reproduction and the reproductive cycle. [...] Pregnancy obviously is a very impacting physical state for women, so every girl should be taught at some point how things are. How to merge into this the morality and responsibility of the relationships that can lead to pregnancies is a delicate process to say the least, and most likely, one method will work for some, while others will need a different approach, so as with all aspects of child-rearing, there is no common equation to satisfy all needs at once.

I think health education and sex education are (or should be) very different. I think health education should be available to all, but sex education is a little more personal.

I think part of the problem at the moment is that we (in the gross general plural) moved between two extremes of morality/freedom/exposure over the second half of the 20th century, and in an effort to regain some stability many people and institutions have overcompensated (in both directions), creating confusion and a backlash from parents and children alike.

 

[scotrace]

Not in my experience

Bulldogs are a challenge because of health problems inherent to the breed. My hat goes off to you Scotty.

Not inherent to the breed, but certain bloodlines. It's a problem breeders battle all the time. Ours are quite vigorous.


And it's "Scott," please.

 

[LaMedicine]

I think health education and sex education are (or should be) very different. I think health education should be available to all, but sex education is a little more personal.

This is true up to a point. Which is why I said, it's a more delicate matter when trying to merge the whatnots of the relationships--read this as both physical and personal-- with the biological knowledge, and on this point, a more individual approach is required rather than a general approach. However, the two cannot be completely separated from each other, because with women, some of our functions are clearly defined for conception/pregnancy, and if one is healthy, then you have the pretty regular cycles to remind you of this. Any and every woman should be proud of how her body is, and take pride in who she is, but unfortunately, there are people who will try to degrade you, try to make you think that you are second grade, unless you know and understand the whole aspect of what our reproductivity is, and know that these people are wrong. And another thing, the cycles can become irregular due to a number of reasons, as well as with pregnancy. Some of the questions that the doctors have to ask you can be painful and embarassing for you, some patients may even feel humiliated, no matter how the doctors try to use the gentlest words possible, if you don't understand the reasons for the questions.
Also, (I'm sure you'll agree with this) pregnancy leaves a very deep impact on women, both physically and psychologically, whether it be expected or unexpected, whether it be carried to full term, or terminated prematurely for one reason or another. Like it or not, once you become pregnant, you can't igonore it, and it isn't something that's going to go away if you stick your head in the sand. How you find yourself dealing with it will probably depend at least to some extent, often to a great extent, with the kind of relationship you have with the father of the child. After all, biologically speaking, the male is out of the picture once the ovum is fertilized. Or to be more precise, once the spermatozoon are released, and it is the personal factor that keeps the male involved.

I want for every child born into this world to be waited for with joy and love, for the creating process to be valuable and joyous, but sadly, that isn't always the case.

The final choice of who teaches what and how and where and when is up to the parents, but I sure hope that in the choosing, they don't skip out on the details that count!

 

[PADDY]

Much of the problems we have in schools has to do with parents not taking an active roll in their child's life and/or not consistently disciplining them and letting too many things "slide." Being a teacher, it really has opened my eyes to how I want to raise my own kids one day and how I will expect them to behave.

Holly, I totally agree with every word you have said. Education and boundary setting for young people begins at home, continues at school and is again reinforced and encouraged and supported at home by caring parent(s).


(BTW..Loving the plans and have a few 'suggestions' just to run alongside them, but that's all they are, just wee ideas that can be thought about or binned those classes are going to be 'great!')

 

[ITG]

Holly, I totally agree with every word you have said. Education and boundary setting for young people begins at home, continues at school and is again reinforced and encouraged and supported at home by caring parent(s).

Yes, it's amazing how much your eyes are opened when you're a teacher. My principal was saying today that they have had parents come in raising a stink to the administration about why their child has to sit with their class and can't move to a table with their friends.

(BTW..Loving the plans and have a few 'suggestions' just to run alongside them, but that's all they are, just wee ideas that can be thought about or binned those classes are going to be 'great!')

Would love to hear any suggestions, as those were kinda scratched out over the summer as a basis so that I can go back later and adjust it to better meet student needs after I get a feel for the classes. The hardest part is the lack of curriculum provided, which was one student textbook; but I found out I'll be getting some money next month to order curriculum. I've put in about 60 hours this week. I had to move to a new classroom yesterday after having just unpacked in another one earlier this week. I'm beat...so I'm gonna sign off in a minute.

 

[Trickeration]

Having met Trickeration and her family several years back, I can easily say her kids made an impression on me of how well behaved they were. You've done an outstanding job with them. I seem to recall them being good chess players too.


I'd be interested as my dad is looking to start possibly homeschooling his daughters next summer on a trial basis to see if they will discipline themselves well enough to study.

Much of the problems we have in schools has to do with parents not taking an active roll in their child's life and/or not consistently disciplining them and letting too many things "slide." Being a teacher, it really has opened my eyes to how I want to raise my own kids one day and how I will expect them to behave.

Thanks so much for the kind words! Yes, they're still into chess. They've also joined a swim team and are doing great.

For your dad, there's a few things he can do. For a summer trial, he can start with some books from a regular bookstore. Just ask the clerk for curriculum books. There is a series of summer review books that are pretty good (though, I can't think of the name). Instead of one grade level on them it will show two, the grade you're finishing and the one you're starting. They're a less expensive way to do a trial run. And they're a good way to keep the kids from forgetting everything they learned over summer. There is also a series called Comprehnsive Curriculum where you have one book per grade level. We used these for a few years, but we also added some other stuff in along with it.

We've just recently switched to an online charter school, California Virtual Academy (CAVA). They have a great program. They're a California school, but your dad may want to take a look to see what it's like and to have something to compare to if he decides to look into online schooling. They're at www.caliva.org Our daughter will be starting high school with them. It's the first time CAVA is offering high school, so there may be a few glitches at first. But it's an accredited school with an advanced program, and it's graduates will be university ready.

We've found that in the beginning, homeschooling feels like it's all discipline and too much work. But once you get rolling, it's very easy. Kids quickly realized they're getting their school work done hours faster and have more free time for themselves, and that really gets them interested. However, the parents do play an active roll. I don't have to sit there through the whole lesson, but I do make sure the kids understand the day's lessons, and I need to be ready to help when my kids have a question. If I'm out running errands and my kids hit a snag, they know to go on to the next problem or lesson and I help them when I get back.

This has been the best experience for us. We have a lot of freedom, and our kids get to be kids. We don't just run from one activity to the next. We spend time together, the kids play outside, hang out with friends, watch TV and play the playstation.

Well, this is getting long and turning into a really good reason to keep putting off the housework, so I'll end here.

ITG--Best of luck to your dad. Feel free to ask more anytime. Trix

 

[Trickeration]

Bragging more about my kids

Here are my kids at a show we did at Ft. MacArthur. This is from last summer. They dress vintage pretty often, and both can swing dance!

My daughter Katharine, My friend Nikki, Me, my son Chris, my dance partner Rey and John from Ft. Mac

Okay, it's not uploading right, but you can see it here.

http://community.webshots.com/photo/425685095wmUUeG

 

[ITG]

wow you all look great in the vintage garb! Thanks for the tip on the homeschooling information.

 

[Matt Deckard]

Very cool photo indeed Trickeration.

 

[Badluck Brody]

I just want the best for my kids. But sometimes....

1st off. Great pic Root. That's a keeper!!

I have to hand it to the stay at home moms! Comming from single parent household. I was raised by grandma, while mom worked. Which meant, I was running around on the streets, more than I was at home. I did horrible in school and the only real time I talked with mom, was when I did something wrong. Grandma on the other hand always tried to paint a pretty picture of things.

However, mom would always say,"If you won't listen to me, strangers will teach you..." She was right when that 10ft tall drill sgt. told us on day 1, that we had ten seconds to get off of his bus and eight of them were gone!

Inspite of myself, now I wear a badge to work. But the truth is, if it wern't for some great friends and their families, I might have ended up on the other side of the bars or worse.

Now though I work second shift, I "try" to do what ever I can to make the family work.

By the way.... Did I mention my wife and I had triplets on Newyears Eve and we als have a four year old??? Needless to say, while I'm dealing with the worst of society, my wife holds down the fort.

She is incredible...

But they have to be. Us guys would go nuts if we had to go through everything they do...

Now consider the wives and mothers of the soldiers in harms way...? I always said that the "real heros" don't always wear uniforms...

JMO

Brody

 

[Matt Deckard]

One of the key problems I see hitting the stay at home mother is the idea permiated by today's society that she is worth less than the woman who chooses a business path.
Femeninity is shunned in our schools and in the media. Women I've known act ashamed at times when they talk about how they might have to wear a dress to an event or when they express that they want to get married and have kids and stay home. Men never get the odd looks from their peers when these ideas are expressed.

It's begening to be taken as odd... odd as it would be if I (Matt) were to say I wanted to be a stay at home dad... Waiting for my wife to come home from work so she could see the skirt I made for her and the meal I cooked while she slaved over a desk.

Women shouldn't be ashamed to be house mothers.
Women shouldn't be ashamed to be educated and choose to stay at home to take care of the household.
Women shouldn't be ashamed to express their femeninity (I really like femenine women).

I don't think it is easy to have it all, career and a family if the woman is going to be the primary caretaker of the children... I don't think it should be portrayed as easy as I have never seen that as the case.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

Well and then there is the small difficulty of remaining not bored and educating ones self until they meet the right person.

If a woman does this, she in many ways can actually make things more difficult to switch to staying home later on. Student loans accompany pretty much any foray into higher education, and as a responsible person, I would not want to burden a partner with something that was not his to take responsability for. We also have to make enough money to take care of ourselves until we get married, as in this day and age, there is not the same level of parental help in that area.

So by educating myself well enough to take care of myself while I 'wait for the right person', I have pretty much guaranteed that I can never just stay home and not work while raising a family. I have also, whilst waiting, and being educated and working, aged myself right out of the marriage market completely.

Double Edged sword...maybe I should have just worked at wal-mart. I suspect I would have managed to find someone then.

 

[jamespowers]

Women shouldn't be ashamed to be house mothers.
Women shouldn't be ashamed to be educated and choose to stay at home to take care of the household.
Women shouldn't be ashamed to express their femeninity (I really like femenine women).

I don't think it is easy to have it all, career and a family if the woman is going to be the primary caretaker of the children... I don't think it should be portrayed as easy as I have never seen that as the case.

You can say that again. My mother was a bookkeeper on the verge of being a CPA but married life and later me changed that. It served her well later on and it also makes me reflect on that decision those many years ago. I think children are worth the effort considering they are the future.
Taking care of a household is like running a business. The duties are definitely not to be taken lightly. Here's to mothers everywhere. :cheers1:

Regards to all,

J

 

[whistlebait]

my feelings exactly

So by educating myself well enough to take care of myself while I 'wait for the right person', I have pretty much guaranteed that I can never just stay home and not work while raising a family. I have also, whilst waiting, and being educated and working, aged myself right out of the marriage market completely.

Double Edged sword...maybe I should have just worked at wal-mart. I suspect I would have managed to find someone then.

Same here. If I really would have wanted to be tied I could have found someone by now but I am far too picky unfortunately. By the time I finish school, which will be around 30ish most of those within my peer group will be married with kids=unavailable. So I see myself there as well. I used to think that having more education increased my chances of meeting someone that would have the same level of education, but am beginning to think that is not the case.

 

[jamespowers]

Same here. If I really would have wanted to be tied I could have found someone by now but I am far too picky unfortunately. By the time I finish school, which will be around 30ish most of those within my peer group will be married with kids=unavailable. So I see myself there as well. I used to think that having more education increased my chances of meeting someone that would have the same level of education, but am beginning to think that is not the case.

Don't be too disheartened. I never though my friend Mark would ever get married either (for the first time) but he did at the age of 48---last year. His wife is now expecting their first child in July. Two of my best friends are not married either at ages 36 and 37. People are getting married later in life now and it only looks like everyone is unavailable. I say this to my friends so I will say it to you as well. The right person is not going to fall from the sky and say marry me. It just doesn't work that way. Getting involved in groups of people doing things together increases your chances of finding someone. There are people out there your age (younger too ) and single. Being out there and being seen helps. :cheers1:
Until they lower you into the ground there is a chance that you will find the right person out there. :fedora: So take heart.

Regards,

J

 

[whistlebait]

Don't be too disheartened.

Thanks, James P.

 

[Matt Deckard]

Read this!

http://www.slate.com/id/2137537/?GT1=7932

 

[jamespowers]

Read this!

http://www.slate.com/id/2137537/?GT1=7932

Interesting----coming from Slate too. Makes sense though.

Regards to all,

J