White tie while mourning?

[ErWeSa]

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I have a very specific question: does anyone know if there is a possibility to show that one is in mourning when wearing white tie? I know and the discussion here proved me right that neither black bow nor a black waistcoat can possibly go with a tailcoat, but is there anything else such as a black-slipped waistcoat etc.?

Thank you for your consideration.

 

[Edward]

I'm not aware of any such convention. Perhaps a black armband?

 

[ErWeSa]

Thanks Edward, I thought of that but black on black woudn't show. Perhaps it simply wasn't considered appropriate to attend an event which called for white tie when mourning. Yet what did people do who had to?

 

[Benproof]

If you're scandinavian and related to the deceased, then a white tie would be appropriate against a white shirt and black suit.

Otherwise, in east London, maybe more likely donning on a black rollneck with the black suit than a white tie?

Or wearing a single white flower which is placed on the coffin afterwards.

It's really hard to be helpful without cultural specificity, since traditional dress code is extremely culture bound. Modern culture diffuses anthropological significance of traditions, or at worse, makes a mockery of apeing them out of context. In that respect, it's probably better to be cautious about anything which requires questioning, and go for conventional dress.

 

[ErWeSa]

Thank you Benpoof,
I am convinced that you are right with your opinion about the fact that this is culture bound. There must be some convention in Austria (a country which once had a satorial consciousness - thinking of Spanisches Hofzeremoniell). But it seems to have gone lost or it seems just to exist amongst a few survivors of a somewhat forgotten past to whom I don't have any contacts.

 

[Benproof]

Hi ErWeSa,

I think the hofzermoniel which you're referring to, probably relates to the influence of catholic mourning in the high nobility and its filtering down to conservative society over the decades, however I don't know Austria very well!

In deep mourning, the catholic tradition has always been strong blacks; as it moves to the second mourning (which depends on the status of the bereaved: longer for a spouse, shorter for children), through mid-mourning, wearing splashes of white or lighter colours are conventional and standard. You can read this in anthropological studies of mourning across cultures:

http://www.traditioninaction.org/Cultural/A048cpCivility_Funeral_3.htm


I think most of us have become disconnected from the intensely devoted understanding of the connection between the body and the experience of loss (bereavement), which for the devout, was formalised through etiquette. Then, I feel there is a huge risk in trying to enter into a culture which I have not lived; for example - a white tie is very possible to wear, after checking it out with the family; however conservative etiquette, formed on ritual and a deep connection with the intention behind the rituals, historically required this to be worn with fish tail slacks in conservative culture. This would abolish wearing a belt of any description, so that the tie flows into the formally conservative dress sense of the wearer. Then it becomes clear, that the white tie requires a whole dress sense and attitude to allow it to 'fit' into the wearer's suit, rather than just being added on to any old suit.

I know Hollywood and western pop culture has 'white tie' events however these have nothing to do with the culture of the white tie in mourning, and its rules of 'fashion' are dictated by the fashion police and gossip journalism, instead of anything deep and profound as the experience of mourning in body and mind for another.

Kind regards

 

[ErWeSa]

Benproof, thank you very much for your elaborate answer and the link which is very enlightening.

 

[GBR]

Black armband but there is absolutely no reason to go into purdah, life must carry on.

 

[Hap Hapablap]

Not sure if this was already mentioned, but a mourning band on a top hat is a thing. It is a very tall band, about half the height of the hat's crown.

 

[JAH]

I would say that a black waistcoat is a possibility too - in my head that was a viable alternative in the early C20th. E.g. http://www.blacktieguide.com/History/1900-1919/1900_circa_thegentlemen'spage_crop.jpg

 

[Evan Everhart]

I recall there being something about wearing a muted (see not gross-grain) ribbon on your top hat for day time formal wear (see morning coat/frock coat) for a funeral, and I imagine that much the same would also apply for evening wear whilst in mourning. Just curious; what brought on this rather unusual inquiry? I'm sure that Emily Post has something or other available on the subject.