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Where to find other retro singles?

tempestbella42

One of the Regulars
Messages
207
Location
united kingdom
Paisley said:
That, and men in their 40s looking for someone 18 or older. Yeah, a divorced 40-year-old with two kids is just what every young girl is looking for.

one of my biggest irritations is this...as a single women in her 40s i find men my age are under the illusion they can find a younger woman, so totally dismiss mature women like me and go sfter rhe younger, slimmer model!!
I did have a male friend that met a 21 yr old online and he said it was a great ego boost (he was 40 at the time) and fine for 3/4 weeks, until on hearing the sex pistols on the radio, it was fromm 1977, when he was a punk up Kings road, London.......it was the yr she was born!!? Made him realise they didnt have much if anything in common!
At the end of the day, as my mum has told me though her expierence...sex alone isnt a good foundation to build a relationship on!;)
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
Hemingway Jones said:
When in doubt, say something ridiculously stupid. It always worked for me, back in the day.

You see someone interesting and attractive in front of a Veronese, stand next to her, and say, "I could do better." If she laughs, you have your in. If she doesn't, believe me, it's an out.

Hey! You picked me up that way!

I thought I was special.
lol lol
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,071
Location
London, UK
Paisley said:
That irritated me, too, when I was on dating sites. I don't need to pay a web site or travel 1,000 miles to meet an old man. That, and men in their 40s looking for someone 18 or older. Yeah, a divorced 40-year-old with two kids is just what every young girl is looking for.

Heh.... yeah. A lot of men like that are also of the 'never married' variety, and instead of (or perhaps as well as) looking for a younger partner for the ego-trip, they view women as potential brood mares. Women their own age are rejected as less suitabled for breeding in their eyes. Personally, I suspect that many of them are also controlling types who are rather frightened of the idea of a woman their own age who knows her own mind and cannot be moulded into what they want.

This, of course, is not by any means to say that there's aren't some great relationships out there with an age gap, simply that there is a certain type of man who is often to be found trawling these sorts of site.

tempestbella42 said:
yep!! hes followed me a few times!!!:)

lol

tempestbella42 said:
as a single women in her 40s

Jinkies, I hope you don't mind me commenting, but from your avatar photo I honestly had you down as mid thirties. as to your friend's experience, I know exactly what he meant, and I've turned down offers from ladies in their early 20s (I'm mid 30s) for exactly the same reason.
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
Edward said:
Personally, I suspect that many of them are also controlling types who are rather frightened of the idea of a woman their own age who knows her own mind and cannot be moulded into what they want.

My friend Opal remarked that some men want a woman who depends on them--then find that it gets old after awhile and want someone more independent.

The hypothetical 40-year-old man looking for someone 18 or over should think about how he'd feel if he had an 18-year-old daughter. What would he think of a middle-aged man who wanted to go out with her?
 

AmateisGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,126
Location
Nebraska
To be honest, I'm a bit scared of the whole online dating thing. But maybe that's just because it's been 10 years since I've dated! All in all, I'd much rather meet someone in the flesh. But that's just me.:)
 

Carlisle Blues

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,154
Location
Beautiful Horse Country
AmateisGal said:
To be honest, I'm a bit scared of the whole online dating thing. But maybe that's just because it's been 10 years since I've dated! All in all, I'd much rather meet someone in the flesh. But that's just me.:)

In the FLESH????? Don't ya think you would want to be introduced first??? lol lol lol
 

AmateisGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,126
Location
Nebraska
Carlisle Blues said:
In the FLESH????? Don't ya think you would want to be introduced first??? lol lol lol

Hahahaha!

Seriously, though, the whole dating scene scares me to death. After a ten-year marriage, I'm not looking forward to it. I think you get in a certain comfort zone and forget about all those feelings that accompany the whole dating thing. For example, I am not looking forward to the, "Will he call?" scenario. In college, I had too many experiences of the guy saying, "I'll give you a call" and he never did.

Of course, hopefully I'll be dating more mature guys. :D
 

Chas

One Too Many
Messages
1,715
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Well, AmateisGal, I think you're cute. If Neb. was just down the road, I'd ask you out for ice cream. :)

I have found online dating (personally) to be pretty much a waste of time. I know a couple of people that have met their significant others, so for some it does work.

Personally, I have yet to figure out how to get chemistry from a jpeg. I also began to suspect that a lot of people are so scared to actually meet people that they prefer to indulge in weeks of ping-pong emails. That sort of thing bores me very quickly, and boredom is a bad thing. I have found that in the last year or so, I've been living my life with a somewhat greater sense of urgency. I've been sitting long enough.
 

irb

Familiar Face
Messages
94
Location
Mesa, Arizona
AmateisGal said:
Hahahaha!

Seriously, though, the whole dating scene scares me to death. After a ten-year marriage, I'm not looking forward to it. I think you get in a certain comfort zone and forget about all those feelings that accompany the whole dating thing. For example, I am not looking forward to the, "Will he call?" scenario. In college, I had too many experiences of the guy saying, "I'll give you a call" and he never did.

Of course, hopefully I'll be dating more mature guys. :D

Heh. I think they're both taken.

I'm reminded of a bit from Coupling (UK).

Sally: "Patrick, women don't automatically assume they're being dumped just because a man promises to phone."
Patrick: "That's the beauty of it."

Rather glad to be out of the dating scene myself. All kidding aside, good luck to you!
 

Chas

One Too Many
Messages
1,715
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Paisley said:
My friend Opal remarked that some men want a woman who depends on them--then find that it gets old after awhile and want someone more independent.

The hypothetical 40-year-old man looking for someone 18 or over should think about how he'd feel if he had an 18-year-old daughter. What would he think of a middle-aged man who wanted to go out with her?

A middle aged man-boy-child. Or a perv.
 

Barbigirl

Practically Family
Messages
915
Location
Issaquah, WA
a suggestion

Holding accoutable....meaning next time someone asks you for your phone number say, "we can exchange numbers but I don't just give mine away." It will either set intrigue and he will call in short order or will send him running scared at your hot confidence and he won't call---so whew you dodged a loser...and you can give his number out to telemarketers just for a little smug fun.

not that I have ever done something like that, I'm just sayin'
AmateisGal said:
Hahahaha!

Seriously, though, the whole dating scene scares me to death. After a ten-year marriage, I'm not looking forward to it. I think you get in a certain comfort zone and forget about all those feelings that accompany the whole dating thing. For example, I am not looking forward to the, "Will he call?" scenario. In college, I had too many experiences of the guy saying, "I'll give you a call" and he never did.

Of course, hopefully I'll be dating more mature guys. :D
 

Barbigirl

Practically Family
Messages
915
Location
Issaquah, WA
Four couples

dhermann1 said:
I was at an event last night in Manhattan, and afterward hopped on the subway at Columbus Circle. A couple saw me carrying the little party favor bag that everyone got and said "Oh! You were at the same event we were!", so we started chatting. To make a long story short, they're married 5 years, seem very happy, and met online. No vintage connection, but it does prove the point that it can happen.

Off the top of my head, I can think of four couples I know who met online and are working on their happily ever after, three out of four specifically met on dating websites.
 

AmateisGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,126
Location
Nebraska
Barbigirl said:
Holding accoutable....meaning next time someone asks you for your phone number say, "we can exchange numbers but I don't just give mine away." It will either set intrigue and he will call in short order or will send him running scared at your hot confidence and he won't call---so whew you dodged a loser...and you can give his number out to telemarketers just for a little smug fun.

not that I have ever done something like that, I'm just sayin'

BarbiGirl, that is a SWELL suggestion!
 

AmateisGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,126
Location
Nebraska
Chas said:
Well, AmateisGal, I think you're cute. If Neb. was just down the road, I'd ask you out for ice cream. :)

I have found online dating (personally) to be pretty much a waste of time. I know a couple of people that have met their significant others, so for some it does work.

Personally, I have yet to figure out how to get chemistry from a jpeg. I also began to suspect that a lot of people are so scared to actually meet people that they prefer to indulge in weeks of ping-pong emails. That sort of thing bores me very quickly, and boredom is a bad thing. I have found that in the last year or so, I've been living my life with a somewhat greater sense of urgency. I've been sitting long enough.

Awww, thanks, Chas. :)

Yeah, the whole chemistry thing from a jpeg doesn't work for me, either. I'm going to avoid the online dating thing for now. I'm very glad it works for some people, though! To each his own. :)
 

LocktownDog

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,254
Location
Northern Nevada
My feeling with the whole dating thing is a bit weird anymore. Now when I date someone, I imagine myself 30+ years from now ... maybe fat, balding, wrinkly, going blind lol . Then I think of her at the same age. Can I possibly see us still interested in each other, having endearing conversations, holding hands on the porch swing?

To hell with beauty and sex and all that other fleeting stuff that is so common to those dwelling in their youthful indiscretions. What of the future? I want to be comfortable in love. I want to have that pitter-patter and warmth that comes from waking up every morning and falling head over heels for her all over again.

Beauty fades all too quickly. I'd much rather have a stimulating intellect and a caring heart to come home to.

Am I being too romantically mushy? Probably. And I realize its probably not realistic either. The woman I'm looking for (who's probably looking for me too!) is also someone I'm unlikely to meet.
 

reetpleat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,681
Location
Seattle
Edward said:
Heh.... yeah. A lot of men like that are also of the 'never married' variety, and instead of (or perhaps as well as) looking for a younger partner for the ego-trip, they view women as potential brood mares. Women their own age are rejected as less suitabled for breeding in their eyes. Personally, I suspect that many of them are also controlling types who are rather frightened of the idea of a woman their own age who knows her own mind and cannot be moulded into what they want.

This, of course, is not by any means to say that there's aren't some great relationships out there with an age gap, simply that there is a certain type of man who is often to be found trawling these sorts of site.



lol



Jinkies, I hope you don't mind me commenting, but from your avatar photo I honestly had you down as mid thirties. as to your friend's experience, I know exactly what he meant, and I've turned down offers from ladies in their early 20s (I'm mid 30s) for exactly the same reason.


Well, I am 42, never married, and in the lsat few years, have been thinking about having kids someday. So, while I do not draw the line anywhere, i lean more towards women a bit younger than me, so that by the time i am married, if i want to have kids, it is a possibility. Seems like a reasonable position.
 

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