When is overdressing acceptable?

[Paisley]

My Emily Post book from 1940 advises readers not to attract attention to themselves. It also advises women who are in doubt to "wear the plainer dress."

I'm not sure if I read it there or somewhere else, but someone said that by overdressing, you show that you don't have anyplace else to wear your nicer clothes.

 

[Medvssa]

I'm not sure if I read it there or somewhere else, but someone said that by overdressing, you show that you don't have anyplace else to wear your nicer clothes.

It has come to a point that many may feel no shame about that fact, though

 

[Inky]

My Emily Post book from 1940 advises readers not to attract attention to themselves. It also advises women who are in doubt to "wear the plainer dress."

I'm not sure if I read it there or somewhere else, but someone said that by overdressing, you show that you don't have anyplace else to wear your nicer clothes.

I try and try to not seem overdressed, but can never succeed. Even yesterday at a new dance class, I wore the plain black cotton top and an old cotton skirt. Still I was all dolled up compared to the rest in t-shirts and jeans, which I cannot bring myself to wear in public anymore unless I am cleaning the garage or washing the car!

I guess we have to acquiesce to being just being overdressed !

 

[lazydaisyltd]

I'm not sure if I read it there or somewhere else, but someone said that by overdressing, you show that you don't have anyplace else to wear your nicer clothes.

Well...I live in a small town with few places to go and I'm a stay-at-home mom. I really don't have any place else to wear my nicer clothes and there's no use attempting to hide that fact. Fortunately for me, there are so many local eccentrics that one slightly-overdressed hausfrau isn't a big deal. lol

 

[Torpedo]

Yes, very true. Of course I want people to think of me as someone who is well dressed, but I really don't want others to think I'm putting on airs or intentionally trying to make them feel uncomfortable. I'm certain that I've read something along those lines in old etiquette books. Emily post perhaps?

What you (and other loungers) say is true to a certain extent, but I believe attitude has a lot to do with it. I am the only one in my work group, of about 70 people, who wears suit jackets and ties every day (and a fedora too ). Not even those with command/managing positions do. I do it because I believe in the importance of giving a professional image, and besides, I like it.
I do not think the others take it as me taking airs or something like that- I behave normally with them, and I do not give importance to the fact I dress that way (although I am ready to discuss it if anyone is interested, or asks about it), much less recriminate them for not doing likewise. I would say they understand that is normal for me.
Maybe some consider me as odd, but that's about it. I think.

 

[Paisley]

I try and try to not seem overdressed, but can never succeed. Even yesterday at a new dance class, I wore the plain black cotton top and an old cotton skirt. Still I was all dolled up compared to the rest in t-shirts and jeans, which I cannot bring myself to wear in public anymore unless I am cleaning the garage or washing the car!

I guess we have to acquiesce to being just being overdressed !

I don't really consider that overdressing. I was picturing a suit at an amusement park or evening clothes at a family gathering at home. (FLers have actually considered doing these.) In other words, putting on the dog when casual clothes would be more appropriate, rather than upgrading from everyone else just a notch or two.

 

[Undertow]

Anymore, I'm not certain when overdressing is appropriate. I've overdressed to a wedding (wore black tie) because I figured it was a well-to-do family that would appreciate my respect. Turns out, I was better dressed than the groom and his party. Quite unfortunate and probably made me look like a bafoon.

I regularly overdress to chamber music offerings at the Des Moines Art Center, but by overdress, I mean pinstripe suit and polished shoes. If anything, I ought to be fitting in as this is, at least as far as Des Moines IA i concerned, high brow. Unfortunately, after three years of attending, I still get the same puzzled looks, quiet rumbles and inquisitive stares. However, there are at least a few older gentleman dressed well that I may blend into.

At this point, I've nearly given up suit-wearing altogether. For one, I've increased in girth (blasted food tasting so bloody good) but also, I can't seem to find an acceptable venue in my city, besides the occasional lecture 30 miles away. I would gladly have jackets/pants tailored but I cannot seem to find a place to wear it.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

according to the reactions i get from everyone at my college, i'm overdressed if i throw a peacoat on over my normal jeans and t-shirt...

 

[Marc Chevalier]

... someone said that by overdressing, you show that you don't have anyplace else to wear your nicer clothes.

It's true.

I've said it many times: here in the U.S.A., there are still plenty of appropriate "official" (as opposed to costume-y) events for formal wear. However, they tend to be the venues of the rich and powerful: dinner dances at town clubs and country clubs, embassy banquets, expensive charity balls, and the like.


Most Fedora Loungers (like most people in general) are not rich and powerful, and so they are rarely invited to official "black tie" or "white tie" events. They have to invent their own ... but at the risk of appearing to be aping the rich and powerful.

.

 

[avedwards]

At this point, I've nearly given up suit-wearing altogether. For one, I've increased in girth (blasted food tasting so bloody good) but also, I can't seem to find an acceptable venue in my city, besides the occasional lecture 30 miles away. I would gladly have jackets/pants tailored but I cannot seem to find a place to wear it.

As a seventeen year old I have almost no occaisions for suit wearing. So I simply have to make them. For example parties, a pinstripe suit and fedora even to my age group can get good comments. Sometimes when I see friends in town I wear a suit too, and I find that it works out fine.

Something I find about modern suit wearing is that while a plain suit is more conservative, a pinstripe suit is often thought to be "cooler".

 

[Spitfire]

I cannot imagine overdressing is any better than underdressing.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap
So true!

If a personoverdresses because he or she likes it and have fun with it, I think it's perfectly ok.

But if the reason is giving an impression of something, (you are not) - I find it...well, not so ok.

I also find that some of the statements in this thread shows a not-so-nice looking down at "normal" people.
Get a life people, they can't all live in the 30's.

 

[PSK123]

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

Get a life people, they can't all live in the 30's.

No! No! Noooooooooooooooooooooo! It simply can't be true, I refuse to believe it







Although I agree with your point most whole heartedly, and that of Marc's.

 

[Lamplight]

As for most people, I don't have many occasions to dress up much. I'd say I have reason to wear a suit no more than three or four times a year. If I were to go to dinner with friends or family, I'd appear drastically overdressed in a suit. I could get away with a nice suit at church, except I don't go to church. I'm a warehouse manager so the order of the day at work is jeans and a T shirt. It's sad, really.

At my last job, most of the salesmen would wear khaki pants and a polo shirt, or in winter a casual button-up shirt, and occasionally they'd even wear jeans. But one fellow (who was a little older, though certainly not elderly) always ALWAYS wore at least a tie, dress shirt, nice trousers, and dress shoes. Most of the time he wore a full suit to work, but would usually have the jacket off all day. He stood out like a sore thumb in a good way, and though everyone noticed, I never heard anyone say anything bad about his clothing. He overdressed just enough to look great without appearing to be putting on a show.

So I think it can be good for one to overdress just enough. I would look rather ridiculous if I were to wear a suit to go to dinner with some coworkers, but a muted tweed jacket with decent trousers probably wouldn't be too much. However, I probably couldn't wear a tie without looking out of place (unfortunately). What I possibly could do is to coordinate with some friends to all dress nicely and go out to dinner together. Then there would be a group of us and it would seem more appropriate. The trouble with this would be actually talking anyone else into doing it. Most people just hate dressing up.

 

[Spitfire]

No! No! Noooooooooooooooooooooo! It simply can't be true, I refuse to believe it

I know Pip, I should not have revealed this horrible truth, to you.

 

[avedwards]

He overdressed just enough to look great without appearing to be putting on a show.

What I possibly could do is to coordinate with some friends to all dress nicely and go out to dinner together. Then there would be a group of us and it would seem more appropriate. The trouble with this would be actually talking anyone else into doing it. Most people just hate dressing up.

I could see myself being like that coworker in ten years time. On the other hand, if I enter the career I would like (a diplomat) I wouldn't be dressing up if I wear a suit but I'd be obeying the dress code, though I would probably get something vintage inspired to look more interesting.

As for getting friends to dress up, I managed it a few weeks ago. In my school three of us all wore hats (I had to lend) and black suits to look like the mafia on comic relief day, as we didn't have to wear uniform. It wasn't even my idea, though I enthusiastically agreed when it was suggested.

 

[Dr Doran]

Nope.

If I obeyed the local standard, I'd look like garbage 100% of the time. I would not look like the "normal" people whom Spitfire invokes and who presumably exist in some parts of urban France.

No, I'd look like garbage. I live in Berkeley, California, where the PROFESSORS dress in plaid flannel shirts and holy jeans and ugly shoes with nary a comb utilized for the past 4 weeks at a time.

There is NO WAY to look like a "normal" person if Berkeley is where you live, and not look like complete garbage. This is a city wherein the deliberately sloppy styles of the early 1970s are thought of as evidence for one's belonging to an important political-cultural club of sorts, a club of people who believe "the correct things." I agree with these people on a few things, and I disagree with them on a few things. I do not seek admission to their club. I have no intention to play by their rules.

I do not follow the tone. I set my own tone. My students see this when I am in class. They see someone who thinks that the subject he is lecturing about is significant enough to wear a suit to lecture about it. And I think they pay more attention because I have paid more attention.

How can I do justice to the Romans who died at the battle of Cannae if I wear the garbage that is commonly worn in my city? I cannot.

 

[Djupis]

As a seventeen year old I have almost no occaisions for suit wearing. So I simply have to make them. For example parties, a pinstripe suit and fedora even to my age group can get good comments. Sometimes when I see friends in town I wear a suit too, and I find that it works out fine.

This is what I do as well. Guys usually give me comments that I look cool or something, while the ladies really seem to appreciate it, often giving me positive comments the whole night, which is always nice The dinner jacket at New Year's eve was a particular success

Daily I usually wear a shirt, V-neck and a Harrington Jacket, which I find both casual and better looking than hoodies and t-shirts, without being awkward in any way.

 

[avedwards]

I didn't wear a dinner jacket at NYE but a pinstripe three piece suit and of course my hat and trench coat (when setting off fireworks outside). But as there were only four of my friends there, there wasn't really anyone to impress. Either way, my friends have started appreciating my old-fashioned looks. In town strangers gave me odd but overall good comments.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I do not follow the tone. I set my own tone. My students see this when I am in class. They see someone who thinks that the subject he is lecturing about is significant enough to wear a suit to lecture about it. And I think they pay more attention because I have paid more attention.

Beautifully put. :eusa_clap

 

[Paisley]

If I obeyed the local standard, I'd look like garbage 100% of the time. I would not look like the "normal" people whom Spitfire invokes and who presumably exist in some parts of urban France.

No, I'd look like garbage. I live in Berkeley, California, where the PROFESSORS dress in plaid flannel shirts and holy jeans and ugly shoes with nary a comb utilized for the past 4 weeks at a time.

There is NO WAY to look like a "normal" person if Berkeley is where you live, and not look like complete garbage. This is a city wherein the deliberately sloppy styles of the early 1970s are thought of as evidence for one's belonging to an important political-cultural club of sorts, a club of people who believe "the correct things." I agree with these people on a few things, and I disagree with them on a few things. I do not seek admission to their club. I have no intention to play by their rules.

I do not follow the tone. I set my own tone. My students see this when I am in class. They see someone who thinks that the subject he is lecturing about is significant enough to wear a suit to lecture about it. And I think they pay more attention because I have paid more attention.

How can I do justice to the Romans who died at the battle of Cannae if I wear the garbage that is commonly worn in my city? I cannot.

This reminds me of the best instructor I had in college. He wrote detailed comments on weekly homework, lectured clearly, stayed on the subject, and kept his office hours. He was almost universally held in high regard by the mechanical engineering students.

He also wore jeans and a flannel shirt with sneakers. Big deal.