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I think the larger question is, and citing the book that Lizzie mentioned: Do women dress, weather pro or con, based on the wanted or unwanted reaction of men/others reactions? If that is the case then where is the line drawn for 'dressing for you'? Does that require approval as well?
I think there's a good question here as to if we ever *can* separate our own desires from those of society. By which I don't mean that women don't know their own minds, but rather we are products of society.
Something has taught us what we feel is sexy is sexy. Although I buy into some of it being innate and evolutionary-- for instance a shapely female figure suggests fertility, eye makeup emphasizes "healthy" eyes, etc.-- when it comes to clothing I don't buy that much of that is based on anything but social taste. We're raised from infancy in a sexualized environment. Even the most conscious person can't avoid their child being exposed to advertising, modern media, and peers (particularly older peers). (And those who are overzealous in trying to extremely restrict a child's exposure to these things find it backfires once the child is independent. For instance, the parent who forbids their child to ever watch any television, even at a friends house or school tends to raise a TV binger.)
Now this exposure doesn't mean that a child automatically becomes a sexpot wearing midriff tops and sweats with words on the butt. What it does mean is that we are all well aware of the norms of society when it comes to dress, particularly sexy dress. We're also enculturated into understanding what is glamorous, flirty, raunchy, etc. There's a reason why we can all point to certain actresses and say that they are glamorous.
I think it is questionable if anyone who is raised in a culture can ever truly separate what is their own view from the culture's view. Even if you hold a different view from the dominant culture, it is so often stated in terms of contrast to the dominant culture.
And I would add that men are subject to the same rules and socialization process (tailored to the fact that they are socialized as males) as to what they find sexy in women's clothing too.