What You'd Like To Have, What You Won't & What They Will Probably...

[VitaminG]

I'm not sure that I'll have a headstone as I have already apprised my family of my wishes after I die. That is, to have my naked 103 year old body shot into space. I imagine by then (2075 or so) we will all commonly have flying cars, so to have a travelling salesman or someone reaching for the spray button on their dashboard and attempting to use their wipers to dislodge my bare ass from the windscreen of their long haul freighter just tickles my fancy.

 

[Undertow]

I can't decide to be nice to future mowers, or to get my evil revenge...

I'm on the same page with this one. I've told my family numerous times that I'd like to be thrown to wolves. They simply won't have it.

So I said I'd like to be cremated and tossed in the trash next to yesterday's leftovers. They protest.

I asked what they preferred. "We'd like to have a nice service, with an elegant casket, a reputable priest, etc"

If I'm dead, do something hilarious with me, something annoying, or just burn me up and get it over with. No sense in dropping money on something I certainly won't appreciate. [huh]

 

[Diamondback]

True, but the point of funeral rites isn't for the deceased, it's for those left behind to help them move past their grief.

 

[Undertow]

True, but the point of funeral rites isn't for the deceased, it's for those left behind to help them move past their grief.

Oh, no doubt - I get that every time I insist on the wolves.

But I tell them if they're willing to split my possessions up, pull the plug, and other various post-mortem requests, they ought to honor my request to transition from worldly flesh into...well, Wolf energy, as one might say.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

I don't plan to have a tombstone only because I have decided cremation and my ashes thrown out to sea...because the sea symbolizes life, freedom, and spirit to me.

 

[Beaubeau]

What would end up on it, I can count on it:
(Note: Lazer is a perfectly valid name for a little boy, that has understandably become unpopular. It is my father's name.)

Yair ben reb Lazer
Beauregard -----
1989-???
May his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.

What I would want on it, if I had to make a joke one:

Yair ben reb Lazer
Beauregard -----
1989-???
The Maggots are my friends!

 

[vitanola]

I've arranged for a nice slate tombstone in the old fashion, decorated with a primitive scratch-carving of a winged skull, and the following text:

Here lyes mouldering
the mortal remains of
Robert Martin Prochko,
Who departed this lyfe
Lord's Day November
the 4th, 2058, in the
96th year of his age.

PREPARE YE ALL FOR
TO FOLLOW ME!

 

[HHISIII]

What I'd like: "It was a hell of a ride"
What it won't: "He was a tolerant man"
What it will probably say: "He died fighting the Navy SEAL father of a young woman whom caught his attention"



look for that one in the next few years, I tend to find the really cute ones with the crazy parents...

 

[Mr Vim]

Wish you were here, and I wasn't.

oh and I thought this might be appropriate and it is funny as all get out.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16354_the-11-most-badass-last-words-ever-uttered.html