What would you wear?

[Tomasso]

i will say that a man who is not comfortable in his tuxedo, not confident, and thinks he himself looks silly, is likely to actually look silly. i imagine this is true of any clothing.

Exactly. Personally, I had the benefit, though I didn't view it as such at the time, of being required to wear a jacket and tie for school from grades 1-12. As a result, I feel very comfortable in tailored clothing and I think that it shows in my carriage and comportment. It's not difficult to spot people, both male and female, who are unfamiliar with dress clothes.

 

[Quigley Brown]

Exactly. Personally, I had the benefit, though I didn't view it as such at the time, of being required to wear a jacket and tie for school from grades 1-12. As a result, I feel very comfortable in tailored clothing and I think that it shows in my carriage and comportment. It's not difficult to spot people, both male and female, who are unfamiliar with dress clothes.

I'm sure you would have spotted me being unfamiliar in a tux for the first time at my senior prom. But then not all of us have had the privilege of being in tailored clothing since the age of seven.

 

[Tomasso]

But then not all of us have had the privilege of being in tailored clothing since the age of seven.

The term tailored clothing includes OTR suits, sportcoats and trousers. I can assure you that my school uniforms were not custom tailored.



But, thanks for the snide remark.

 

[catsmeow]

Of course, I withheld showing disdain towards those that failed to understand or cared not to abide by the dress code for the event. Since I work in high tech (where you can come in with sweats, pajamas, shorts, etc) all day every day, my wearing of suits and ties every day is a source of issue. I had only hoped that those who were obviously under-dressed would have been requested to leave until appropriately attired.

It's obvious. You have more respect for yourself then your co-workers. You like to make an effort to look presentable. I wouldn't worry too much. They just don't get it. They sound like they can't be bothered. Lazy.

 

[Tony in Tarzana]

I wore top hat and tails to my company Christmas party. I work at a TV studio in Glendale. Much of what we consider "Hollywood" actually occurs in the city of Burbank, and Glendale just to the East gets the overflow, so it's still under that "Hollywood" aura.

My aim was to have fun and make people smile, and I succeeded. If anybody was offended, they didn't show it, and the ladies, particularly the ones who themselves had taken time to dress elegantly, really appreciated it and I got many compliments from them.

You know what's really funny? All of my life I've been a shy introvert, but something about dressing up, either in a suit and fedora or all the way in white tie and tails, brings out an entirely different side to my personality, and I like it.

I give a lot of credit the Fedora Lounge for that. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Roger]

A dark suit and tie would have been my choice.

 

[Tango Yankee]

My first post

An interesting discussion. I think I'll jump in with my own two cents worth.

I believe the biggest issue is simply ignorance. I grew up during the '60s and '70s in southern California. I don't recall having a suit after elementary school (and the only time I remember wearing one then was for the annual May Day massive dance the school held.) I think the same could be said for most of my friends. There wasn't a need for one as most things had become very informal--a result of the '60s rebellion, I suppose. As a result I never learned proper dress etiquette, i.e., what was appropriate to wear to various events. Then I joined the Air Force and decisions about what to wear for work and work-related functions were pretty much made for me.

I don't think my experience is unique (the growing up without being taught the ins and outs of dressing properly part) and believe that as a result many of my generation grew up with only vague ideas about when to wear a suit and that tuxes were for proms and weddings (and for weddings, usually just the wedding party.) We, in turn, were unable to teach our children what we didn't know. (Generational we--I personally never had children.)

And it's not just the lessons in proper dress that seem to have been lost along the way. Proper etiquette in most areas seems to have fallen by the wayside. Common courtesy itself doesn't seem to be common any more.

Even the Air Force succumbed to the pressure against formality. I used to enjoy the dressing up for Dining Ins or Dining Outs and the formality of those events. I regret to say I never got around to buying a mess dress uniform for them, in part because the opportunities to wear one became so rare it didn't seem worth the expense. Sometime in the early '90s there was a trend towards what was called a "Combat" Dining In. Dress for these functions was the Battle Dress Uniform or Desert Combat Uniform and, as often as not, involved the use of water guns. While fun, I missed the formal Dining Ins. Also beginning in the '90s the uniform of the day for the most part became the BDU no matter what your job. The wearing of blues became rare.

As in the civilian world, work-related parties such as squadron Christmas parties became functions where you would see the full range of styles no matter what the declared dress code for the party. Many units resisted requiring any sort of dressing up because it was often difficult to get junior personnel to attend and it was thought that requiring something like suits/dresses would really keep them away.

I could be wrong, but I've often thought that the "dumbing down" of proper dress and of proper courtesy and etiquette has gone hand in hand.

I will admit that I still know very little on the subject of proper dress but I plan to rectify that. Of course, where I live now (rural southern Ohio) it's not exactly a problem. I often feel overdressed when I'm wearing a polo shirt!

Just my thoughts on the subject. I'm new to the lounge and would have properly introduced myself but this forum doesn't seem to have a place for newcomers to do so.

Cheers
Tom

PS Just found that I'm wrong; stumbled across the place for new folks to introduce themselves in the Observation Bar.

 

[jamespowers]

Each person is the foremost authority on their own opinion.

One of the most sentient points in this thread. Thanks for putting that out.:eusa_clap

Regards,

J

 

[jamespowers]

You know what's really funny? All of my life I've been a shy introvert, but something about dressing up, either in a suit and fedora or all the way in white tie and tails, brings out an entirely different side to my personality, and I like it.

I give a lot of credit the Fedora Lounge for that. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

I think you had it in you all along. You just needed some encouragement. :cheers1:

Regards,

J

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

IMO, I think it's so silly that anyone would be offended by a person in a tux. Maybe, and again IMO, the person who is taking offense is really motivated by sheer jealousy. They really wished that they look as good as the gent in the tux. To caress their own ego, they try to make other people feel badly.
As for the ambiguous invite directions. Well, the host obviously didn't want people showing up in typical khaki's and polo shirt (not saying their is anything wrong with this attire, it's just not proper for any kind of function in the evening). If she did, she wouldn't have bothered to put any sort of direction on the invite. The directions are given for a reason, to prevent people from showing up to such events looking like slobs. Usually, at least for event's that I have attended, if a tux is required or OK to wear the invite will say black tie or black tie optional. But, a tux is an evening outfit, so I can see why some would think to wear one when the invite directs evening attire.
Either way, what is offensive is the person who doesn't follow the direction and shows up in cargo pants or any other sort of casual wear. As I've said earlier, I think it's better to be overdressed than underdressed, again just my opinion.

 

[Quigley Brown]

IMO, I think it's so silly that anyone would be offended by a person in a tux. Maybe, and again IMO, the person who is taking offense is really motivated by sheer jealousy. They really wished that they look as good as the gent in the tux. To caress their own ego, they try to make other people feel badly.

My circle of friends are other artists, photographers, etc. We know how to dress smartly for partys. I think it's the ones in full-plumage tuxs (the left-brained....lawyers, bankers, etc.) that are jealous of us.

 

[Senator Jack]

Ouch, Quigley! I'm far from the conservative type and, again, I like the tux. I think of it as living large (okay, one of the few hip-hop phrases I actually like). C'mon, you can't call the Rat Pack squares now, can you?


Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[Quigley Brown]

Ouch, Quigley! I'm far from the conservative type and, again, I like the tux. I think of it as living large (okay, one of the few hip-hop phrases I actually like). C'mon, you can't call the Rat Pack squares now, can you?


Regards,

Senator Jack

Sorry. That was pretty mean of me[bad]

 

[Senator Jack]

I was just going to dig up that avatar of yours!

 

[LaMedicine]

Lucky me

I can always fall back on this.

Of course, there's a kimono dress code, but nobody knows squat unless there's another Japanese around, and the stuff is usually silk, no matter the rank of the kimono, anyway. lol lol

What Veronica Parra wrote about the code is correct, and there are circles where breach of dress code in any direction is taken as offense, which can seem snobbish to a few. I grew up in a diplomat's household, and my parents were always conscious of this. If in doubt, whether there was a code in the invitation or not, then call your host was the rule. It was never rude to call the host and ask, rather, it was rude to show up in something other than indicated due to not taking the time to inquire. It was sometimes tricky, because the same wording could mean different things depending on which embassy or circle was issuing the invitation, due to the difference in American and European codes.
Now, of course, this was more than 30 years ago, so whether this still stands true in the Washington DC diplomatic circles, I'll admit I don't know.[huh]

 

["Doc" Devereux]

I had two parties in the last week, both in the evening. One was a dinner, one was drinks, and in theory I could have done both in black tie. If it had been appropriate considering the company I would have.

My trouble is that my business is casual as all hell. Over those two bashes, I only saw one other person in a suit, and I was the only person wearing a tie of any description on either occasion. So I wore a black 3-piece with a colourful tie and maintained my reputation as a classy dresser. If I'd shown up in a DJ I'd have been so over-dressed as to be laughable.

But then, when I meet my agent at his club, I wear a suit, shirt and cravat. He wears faded jeans, a white t-shirt and a denim shirt open over the top.

I love my dinner jackets, and would wear them more often given the chance. But however much I enjoy 'living the life', I have to strike a balance between style and snobbery.

As an aside, do I recall correctly that FL dinners normally specify a lounge suit jacket and tie rather than dinner dress?

 

[Hemingway Jones]

My circle of friends are other artists, photographers, etc. We know how to dress smartly for partys. I think it's the ones in full-plumage tuxs (the left-brained....lawyers, bankers, etc.) that are jealous of us.

Gee, who is jealous of whom. I cannot profess to know or to speak with such authority.

 

[Pilgrim]

Hmmm. I've never been to anything labeled "evening/cocktail' in my life. I guess I don't travel in those circles. I'm sure my wife doesn't have a single dress that would qualify either. If we went to such a thing, I'd wear a suit and tie, and she'd scrounge up what she could - probably a business suit.

Our evenings out are never formal, always casual. We are not formal people at all.