What would you wear?

[jamespowers]

It is respect for your host to dress nicely and make an effort.

This is what I was always taught. Even if I go to someone's house for dinner I at least dress in suit and tie. They are putting out the effort to invite me so I put effort into looking good at the table.

Regards,

J

 

[melankomas]

So you look to the power centers and the people that get on well with the power centers - the players. Take your cue from them, then you won't offend or be over or under dressed.

i see! thank you for explaining; that does seem a wise approach.

In basic training, the phrase is 'be gray'. Sometimes, being distinctive - over or under dressed - makes you a target. So, the conservative stance is to not stand out.

i understand this quite thoroughly. lol i'll remember this lesson, sir!

 

[Veronica Parra]

If it is evening/cocktail attire dinner then you would wear dinner jacket or a dinner dress, right?

Wrong. In the U.S.A., an invitation must specifically say "Black Tie" to indicate that tuxedos are expected of all male guests in attendance.
"Black Tie Optional" or "Black Tie Preferred" means that men may also wear dark business suits. "Evening/cocktail attire" means dark/dressy business suits for men: NO tuxedoes and NO dinner jackets, unless you want to blend in with the waiters.

Being overdressed is just as bad as being underdressed. Pretentiousness is incredibly vulgar.

 

[griffer]

Pretentiousness is incredibly vulgar.

What a coincidence; I named my high horse "Vulgar".

 

[Veronica Parra]

:eusa_clap lol

There's a line from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.


Toht: "You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions."

 

[reetpleat]

I always wear black, and a tie. I'd love to get a tuxedo but since I am still growing I have been advised to wait to get a suit and a tuxedo.

Just get a vintage tuxedo. You will get incredible quality, great style, and vintage tuxes tend to be quite cheap. Much less than a comparable suit unless it is being sold by a high end dealer. Many vintage shops don't even carry them because they don't sell. Of course, i could never understand why anyone would rent whan they can buy for the same price.

 

[reetpleat]

Honestly, while I think it is too bad for me that people don't dress well, I don't blame them. There is no good reason why people should dress up. Just because we love it it doesn't mean they do.

Still, I love going to events where everyone is dressed up, especially because they love doing it.

When I go to a party or some such, if I wnat to stand out, and don't mind being seen as a little od by some, I will wear vintage, usually fifties as it comes off a little hipper. Sometimes I go to dinner or events in nice thirties or forties array, such as two days ago when I went to see El Vez., although I did wear a black shirt to hip it up a little.

But if I want to not stand out or want to meet women, I don't wear vintage. In Seattle dressing up at all is just seen as odd and not appreciated. Even the Rockabilly crowd is all about t shirts and flames on their shoes.

One thought though is that people who don't dress up, just like some prideful meat eaters, (I eat meat, but I don't go around talking about it a lot) think they are being unique and different and going against the dominant culture, and will loudly tell you how much they are their own man, and not politically correct for not dressing up or eating a lot of steak, but in reality, they are just in line with the popular culture. It is the vegan perhaps, or the guy in a sharp vintage suit, who is the true rebel.

 

[Senator Jack]

Being overdressed is just as bad as being underdressed. Pretentiousness is incredibly vulgar.

Mmm...I don't consider it pretentiousness. I think it's just being larger than life. There are too many 'greys' in the world today, thus the axis of ennui on which it currently spins. If I were to wait for everyone else to get into a tux before I got into mine, would I ever get to wear it?

Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[reetpleat]

Mmm...I don't consider it pretentiousness. I think it's just being larger than life. There are too many 'greys' in the world today, thus the axis of ennui on which it currently spins. If I were to wait for everyone else to get into a tux before I got into mine, would I ever get to wear it?

Regards,

Senator Jack

I kind of agree. I have always been a little bit of a costume dresser. When I wear vintage it is all period specific, deliberate vintage look. I do not expect to blend in (Even in SF I tried to stand out at a swing event. YOu need some pretty sharp stuff for that) so when I dress up, I expect to stand out and be seen as different. It is my gift to them and to myself because it is fu. If I were like some on this board who are more into being well dressed in a traditional way, and wihed the ret of the world was the same, I guess I would be frustrated. Growing up i Seattle I never had any illusions about the rest of the world conforming to my ideals of sartorial splendor.

 

[griffer]

Remember, there is work and there is play.

I was ONLY speaking to modern etiquette/tips for surviving corporate events.

Clearly, you don't have to be gray; I'm not gray.

I still play when I am inside the box- daring tie shirt combos, bow ties, pocket squares, and french cuffs. There is a lot of room to move in suit/tie box.

 

[maintcoder]

Wrong. In the U.S.A., an invitation must specifically say "Black Tie" to indicate that tuxedos are expected of all male guests in attendance.
"Black Tie Optional" or "Black Tie Preferred" means that men may also wear dark business suits. "Evening/cocktail attire" means dark/dressy business suits for men: NO tuxedoes and NO dinner jackets, unless you want to blend in with the waiters.

Being overdressed is just as bad as being underdressed. Pretentiousness is incredibly vulgar.

So in my situation I was overdressed and therefore pretentious and incredibly vulgar.

Hmmm....

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Don those tuxedoes, Loungers!

I hope I never read the word pretentiousness in the Lounge again. Up with tuxedoes!

 

[Tourbillion]

Wrong. In the U.S.A., an invitation must specifically say "Black Tie" to indicate that tuxedos are expected of all male guests in attendance.
"Black Tie Optional" or "Black Tie Preferred" means that men may also wear dark business suits. "Evening/cocktail attire" means dark/dressy business suits for men: NO tuxedoes and NO dinner jackets, unless you want to blend in with the waiters.

Being overdressed is just as bad as being underdressed. Pretentiousness is incredibly vulgar.

Yes, but for ladies it says evening/cocktail which is either a long evening dress (i.e. semi formal) or a short cocktail dress (informal).

The men's version of evening dress is a dinner jacket still isn't it? Why is it that they want the men in suits and the ladies in evening gowns?

I know that the problem is the invitation, which is confusing or too vague. Evening is a tux/gown and Cocktail is a suit/cocktail dress. I would personally choose the latter as well but evening dress is evening dress.

About 1/4 of the ladies at my Chrismas party were wearing evening dresses, including one Air Force General (who has to know what is proper, at least she didn't wear mess dress). I didn't think that they were overdressed at all. So, if the lady can wear an evening gown, why can't her date wear a tux?

 

[Mike in Seattle]

I agree that this all goes back to the ambiguity of the host in saying "evening/cocktail" which could be considered suit & tie upward. But clearly, most of those (was it most or just a few dolts in the crowd?) don't have a clue as to what is proper attire for a function like that. Jeans & courduroy jacket? Maybe if you're a college freshman fresh from the hills. Jeans and tshirts? "Oh - was your luggage lost en route and were you forced to wear your traveling clothes straight through from Bolivia, or didn't you understand the invitation?"

I received an invitation...wait, let me correct that...I received an Evite to a "swanky post holiday cocktail party" a week from Saturday which is also celebrating, belatedly, the birthday of one of the co-hostesses. I know, I know, it's just wrong on so many levels but that's another topic. Said Evite also suggested "dressing to the nines!"

Birthday girl / co-hostess calls about an hour later to see if we're out of the dark yet (power was out here from Thursday till Tuesday morning) and also to see if I received the Evite. "Yes, I did. I immediately put my charcoal pin-stripe suit by the door to go to the cleaners when I run errands this afternoon." "Suit? Honey...this is Seattle. Suit? Unless you're talking jogging suit, you'll be over-dressed with this crowd. Jeans and a button-down shirt will be fine. But you always dress nicely anyway."

So much for swanky cocktail party! And I already know three of the ladies attending are getting together Wednesday to go shopping, find dressy outfits, do lunch and so forth. I'm really tempted to dig out the tux and patent leathers, especially now after the further input. Or maybe a long-sleeved black t-shirt with the screen-printed tux front on it would be more appropriate.

 

[jamespowers]

Petentious and vulgar-- terms used by those who feel people should all go around in polo shirts and jeans to everything. Anything better than that makes them feeeeeeelllll uncomfortable.

Regards,

J

 

[melankomas]

So in my situation I was overdressed and therefore pretentious and incredibly vulgar.

Hmmm....

i don't think so; i may be incorrect, but i think "pretentious" means uncalled for affectation. for example, when i think of "pretentious dress", i see with my mental eyes Sir Percy Blakeney at a prizefight (yes, i do realize the gentlemanly popularity of prizefighting, but i mean the image, not the social trend).

your manner of dress was specified, just not exclusively specified, true? perhaps the invitation was intentionally vague, to allow people who don't own the more formal attire outright the option of gracefully dressing down a bit, and save them the trouble of obtaining the proper clothing. where the polo shirts and jeans fit, i've no clue.

 

[Senator Jack]

Requested by BeginTheBeguine:

I hope I never read the word pretentiousness in the Lounge again. Up with tuxedoes!

Don't worry. I'm sure you'll get your fill at Mondo Atomic!

Posted by MikeInSeattle:
I'm really tempted to dig out the tux and patent leathers, especially now after the further input.

Good for you, Mike. :eusa_clap Once you get past the first, it's easy. The Christmas party I went to last week was in a rather grand Brooklyn Heights apartment with a panoramic view of the New York skyline. The invite read 'come dressed' and I didn't have second thoughts about wearing the tux. The mod crowd was, of course, dressed - women in 60s cocktail dresses and a few men in tight suits and ties - as was the 86 year-old father of the hostess. The rest? Eh. What are you gonna do? The thing about wearing a tux to a holiday party is that it gears you up for a night of revelry, and how often do we get that these days?

Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[Paisley]

IAnd I already know three of the ladies attending are getting together Wednesday to go shopping, find dressy outfits, do lunch and so forth. I'm really tempted to dig out the tux and patent leathers, especially now after the further input. Or maybe a long-sleeved black t-shirt with the screen-printed tux front on it would be more appropriate.

I've noticed that women tend to go out on dates in a skirt and a cute top and nice shoes, but their men tend to go out looking far more casual.

What should we call this phenomenon? "Lady and the Pool Boy"? "Beauty and the Geek"? "The Rose and the Rube"?

 

[Senator Jack]

I see that all the time here in NY, Paisley, and I feel bad for the women. Then again, I don't. Obviously, they want to dress, but, on the other hand, they don't seem to cotton to a man that appears to take too much time on his appearance. I also believe, subconsciously, they want children, so if they can't have children, they settle for the man-boy. Take a good, yet surreptitious, look at the dynamic between these couples. Lately, I've noticed that when they walk down the street hand-in-hand, the woman has her hand in front of his, as though she were leading a little boy around. I've also noticed that women are doing a lot of ordering, and paying, in bars and restaurants. Yes, I'm an observer. That's what I do.

Regards.

Senator Jack

 

[Tomasso]

Wrong. In the U.S.A., an invitation must specifically say "Black Tie" to indicate that tuxedos are expected of all male guests in attendance.
"Black Tie Optional" or "Black Tie Preferred" means that men may also wear dark business suits. "Evening/cocktail attire" means dark/dressy business suits for men: NO tuxedoes and NO dinner jackets, unless you want to blend in with the waiters.

Being overdressed is just as bad as being underdressed. Pretentiousness is incredibly vulgar.