What we've lost since the Golden Era

[CherryWry]

Appreciation for simple pleasures. The ability to entertain ourselves without spending money. Handwritten notes delivered via postal service. Knowing that the next door neighbor will check on you if things seem amiss.

 

[Mr Vim]

Appreciation for simple pleasures. The ability to entertain ourselves without spending money. Handwritten notes delivered via postal service. Knowing that the next door neighbor will check on you if things seem amiss.

Handwritten notes are something that I strive to keep up, it makes whatever your trying to say come across better, when you taking your time to say it.

 

[Puzzicato]

Appreciation for simple pleasures. The ability to entertain ourselves without spending money. Handwritten notes delivered via postal service. Knowing that the next door neighbor will check on you if things seem amiss.

I have a friend who sends me a thank you note on a plain white card every time she comes for lunch. It is the most civilised thing I have ever seen!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Durable, reliable bed linens. I don't care how many threads per inch your imported Egyptian long-staple sateens have, they aren't going to last as long as my Pequot Super Service Muslins, or feel as nice and crisp after a day on the line.

Unpretentious good food. Seems nowadays "good" is defined by how twee it is. Doesn't anybody know how to make and serve a good pork chop anymore?

The notion that technology should be the servant, not the master. And get that phone thing out of your ear, it looks ridiculous.

World's Fairs. Even if they were nothing but a lot of plaster and pipe dreams, they're still more entertaining that a corporate theme park.

God bless you, Lizzie.

I'm always buying new in the package vintage bed sheets at yard and estate sales! It's like comparing a Bounty quilted paper towel to a tissue.

 

[Tango Yankee]

Children being able to play outside without being guarded

When I was a kid in the '60s and early '70s, we roamed the neighborhood. We'd play outside up and down the street, maybe going from one house to another. We'd play in the empty lot at the end of the block, or even go to the city park, all without being watched over by parents.

We were taught not to get into cars with strangers and had to come in when the streetlights came on. Heck, I had my first paper route delivering an evening paper when I was seven! That one had me outside at night, going to my customer's doors to collect the monthly bill from each one.

Now kids aren't allowed to play outside of their own back yard without parental supervision. Doing so is tantamount to child neglect. Yes, I understand the fears about child abduction--as I said, we had beware of strangers drilled into us. But we were still allowed to go out and play on our own, making up our own games with our own rules, taking physical risks in the process. We settled our own conflicts. We made our own "play dates" by arranging with each other when and where we'd meet for more adventures.

In the meantime our mothers (most were stay-at-home moms back then) would be taking care of the household without feeling paranoid about their children. These days if the parents are busy the kids are stuck in the house. No wonder video games are so popular! (Well, that and the fact that they are rather addicting! )

And all this was in a suburb of Los Angeles.

Regards,
Tom

 

[Tomasso]

And all this was in a suburb of Los Angeles.

Same experience, same time frame; only the North Side of Chicago and the UES of Manhattan. We had the whole public transit system figured out by time we were 10-12 years old. More than once the cops would catch us in the wrong neighborhood, drive us home and rat us out to our folks.

 

[Feraud]

^ That whole children playing outside all day and un-supervised idea is a double edged sword.

Is it ever a wise parenting decision at any point in time (or necessary one with a stay at home mom?)to send your 7-15 year olds out in the neighborhood in the morning to not return until dinner at nightfall?
Kids should play and use their imagaination and learn to interact with their peers but seriously now. Unsupervised all day? While mom is at home? Could any mother really be content at home while their young children are out in the world? Whether it was done in the past or today reeks of bad parenting. Most of us of a certain age understand this because we were cast out and admonished by the moms to not come home until later. How many kids were reprimanded if they came home early? I know a few.

On the other hand, children need to play with their peers. At a certain age (which is different for all children) they should learn to explore the world and enjoy all the fun you can have with friends outdoors. Contrary to popular belief, not all children today are home bound video game junkies.

I don't think pulling a Skenazy is the way to do it.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My mother used to take a roll of pennies, remove one, throw the other 49 into the street, and tell my sister and me we could come back inside when we found all fifty. Took us a while to catch on to that one.

 

[AmateisGal]

My mother used to take a roll of pennies, remove one, throw the other 49 into the street, and tell my sister and me we could come back inside when we found all fifty. Took us a while to catch on to that one.

lol lol lol lol lol

 

[Mr Vim]

...We'd play outside up and down the street, maybe going from one house to another. We'd play in the empty lot at the end of the block, or even go to the city park, all without being watched over by parents.
...
We were taught not to get into cars with strangers and had to come in when the streetlights came on.

I had a similar upbringing Tom, and that was in the late 80's and early 90's.
It was okay to play out until dark, as long as you were in when the lights came on outside. I used to play in the woods all day long and not be home until dinner. You could drink from the hose on the side of the house, that was okay. Wild animals were fun pets to bring home. Most kids aren't raised like that anymore.

 

[Tango Yankee]

^ That whole children playing outside all day and un-supervised idea is a double edged sword.

Is it ever a wise parenting decision at any point in time (or necessary one with a stay at home mom?)to send your 7-15 year olds out in the neighborhood in the morning to not return until dinner at nightfall?
Kids should play and use their imagaination and learn to interact with their peers but seriously now. Unsupervised all day? While mom is at home? Could any mother really be content at home while their young children are out in the world? Whether it was done in the past or today reeks of bad parenting. Most of us of a certain age understand this because we were cast out and admonished by the moms to not come home until later. How many kids were reprimanded if they came home early? I know a few.

On the other hand, children need to play with their peers. At a certain age (which is different for all children) they should learn to explore the world and enjoy all the fun you can have with friends outdoors. Contrary to popular belief, not all children today are home bound video game junkies.

I don't think pulling a Skenazy is the way to do it.

I wouldn't say we were completely unsupervised and there was no checking in from time to time; I know that the parents up and down the block did look out their windows from time to time, and neighbors were not above and not afraid to come out and let you know it if you were crossing a line and to let your parents know as well. What we didn't have was the requirement that to be outside required an adult presence.

I don't recall ever being told not to came back in at any point, but it may have happened. If so, it must not have seemed like a big deal at the time. Usually the issue was wanting just five minutes more of playing tag...

What this also speaks to is that kids led much less structured lives back then. These days it seems that a kid's entire life is carefully structured if the parents have any intention of sending their kids to college. It also speaks to my own very limited observation in that there doesn't seem to be neighborhoods like I grew up in, with young parents up and down the block with kids in the same general age groups. I'm not saying it doesn't happen any more, but with the smaller generations since we baby boomers the children are a bit more spread out. The closest thing to it I've seen in recent years was base housing on an Air Force base.

The world has changed. I don't know if percentage-wise the incidence of bad things happening to children has increased since then or if it's simply the impression we get from hearing the news from all around the country 24 hours a day that makes it seem that way. Which ever it is, yes, parents are much more reluctant to let their children play outside of visual range for fear of abduction. I think that's a loss in a lot of ways. I don't begrudge parents wanting to keep their children safe from the bad guys, but I think it is a mistake to try to keep them safe from everything. Children learn what they can and cannot do by giving it a try. Sometimes they get injured in the process. I think that trying to ensure children are 100% safe 100% of the time is not a good thing for the children. What happens when they go out into the world where it's not all safe and structured and Mom and Dad aren't there to limit them?

These days there does seem to be a bit of a backlash against "helicopter parenting" so I guess I'm not the only one to feel this way.

Cheers,
Tom

PS I wouldn't condone dumping a young child off in an unknown neighborhood with the idea of "he'll figure it out." And an intensly urban environment isn't really kid friendly to begin with. Growing up, though, I and my peers did have the freedom to explore our own neighborhood without having a parent's eyes on us 100% of the time. With the addition of bicycles our range increased. We learned how to get around that way.

 

[LizzieMaine]

What this also speaks to is that kids led much less structured lives back then. These days it seems that a kid's entire life is carefully structured if the parents have any intention of sending their kids to college. It also speaks to my own very limited observation in that there doesn't seem to be neighborhoods like I grew up in, with young parents up and down the block with kids in the same general age groups. I'm not saying it doesn't happen any more, but with the smaller generations since we baby boomers the children are a bit more spread out. The closest thing to it I've seen in recent years was base housing on an Air Force base.

We still have neighborhoods like this where I live -- but I live in a low-income/working-class section of town. I get the sense that "helicopter parenting" is primarily a middle-class/upper middle class thing.

 

[Tango Yankee]

It probably is, LizzieMaine, but I noticed the same keeping of kids indoors in the low-income/working class neighborhood our daughter used to live in. Kids weren't allowed to play outside in front unless parents were there, and the back yards were postage-stamp sized with an alley running along them and usually with a garage or storage shed taking up half the space.

Regards,
Tom

 

[Big Man]

After reading over the last several posts I believe one of the things we have lost is our "innocence". I, too, grew up playing outside (mostly) unsupervised. The places I went and the things I did would probably make the CBS evening news today, but then - well it was just the way kids were.

I tried hard to raise my children in the same way. I let them play outside and hunt, ride their go carts, and a lot of other "dangerous" activities. They were reasonably careful, and a lot lucky I guess. I was always afraid that if something did happen I would be taken to task for being a "bad parent", but I was determined to allow them the chance to actually learn some actions have consequences. At any rate, they did grow up relatively unscathed and have developed into well balanced adults with families of their own.

FDR was right, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." I believe the constant bombardment by "bad news" causes us all to be overly cautious. This is the "loss of innocence" I was talking about. Sometimes I think it's best if we just don't know how "bad" it is "out there".

 

[LizzieMaine]

How many kids today walk to school? Or even live within walking distance of their school? I grew up living about a mile from my various schools, and there was never any question that I'd walk -- same as all the other neighborhood kids. We walked in groups, so there was never any risk of a lone child being picked off by an abductor -- my mother used to warn me "don't go off away from the rest of the kids or Gus Heald (the notorious local thug of the moment) will get ya!" -- but at the same time, it was expected and *required* that kids who lived within a mile of school would walk. The buses only ran to the outlying towns in our district -- if you lived in town, you walked, period.

 

[Paisley]

It can be really dangerous for kids to play unsupervised. My niece's daughter was molested--on several occasions--as a little girl when my niece let her play outside, in the front yard, unsupervised. (Did I mention my niece has the common sense of a bowl of Cocoa Puffs?)

My brother was shot and killed in a hunting accident when our parents had told him to stay home, and left our notoriously irresponsible sister in charge. (Another great moment in parenting.) She told him it was fine to go out as long as our parents didn't find out.

My great-grandfather was shot in the face by his sister when they were playing unsupervised. He lost his sight in one eye and had the bullet in his face the rest of his life.

That said, parents can take kids out to play and watch them (and let them out unsupervised when they're mature enough) without managing everything they do.

 

[Widebrim]

All of my gripes and complaints about the modern culture can be boiled down to this. I really want someone to slap that smug smirk off the modern world's face.

Wow! Now tell us how you really feel!

 

[Tiller]

I

My brother was shot and killed in a hunting accident when our parents had told him to stay home, and left our notoriously irresponsible sister in charge. (Another great moment in parenting.) She told him it was fine to go out as long as our parents didn't find out.

My great-grandfather was shot in the face by his sister when they were playing unsupervised. He lost his sight in one eye and had the bullet in his face the rest of his life.

I don't want to sound like an ass, because obviously both were tragic events, but did they receive any training? I've been around guns my entire life, and shot them almost as soon as I was able to walk (from bb guns to a 1950's "kid" (barrel and stock cut very short) .22). My father taught me the entire time and supervised me, until I became an adult.

His two most important rules were never point the barrel towards a person, even if the gun isn't loaded. The second rule? Always know what your aiming at, and what your surroundings are. Which boils down to know what your shooting at, and don't aim towards a road, house, or other "area".

One of the worst beatings I ever got was when I was about ten years old, and I was awkwardly carrying my bb gun, and accidentally pointed it towards my father for a second (It wasn't even loaded mind you). I caught holy hell, and I'm sure it wasn't pretty to watch, but I never forgot the lesson, and their has never been a firearm related accident on either side of my family.

 

[Mr Vim]

I have to say, a little off topic if I may, that right now, I'm enjoying listening to Dinah Washington courtesy of radio Itunes... sipping a tea, and reading finely crafted words from you all... I think I just got some of what we lost back... just a taste mind, but it is a good evening, thank you all for being a part of it.

My apologies for getting a bit misty eyed, but it was a rough day.

Carry on everyone.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I grew up, for about half my childhood, on a farm. I'd go out with my BB gun and shoot at birds or other pests that my folks wanted away from the homestead. I had to stay on our farm, unless my Father was along (he'd take me fishing down the road and such) ahh, those memories can almost get you a little misty.

When I was 12 we moved into town, a small town, but different than farm life. Dad was a local businessman, and I ran errands for him on my bicycle. Everyone in town knew me, and if I was somewhere or doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing, you better believe Dad knew before I got home.

I would never want to raise my family in a big city. You have a much larger since of community in a rural environment.