What Not To Wear: Category: Hats

[Vanessa]

Discovered on ebay:

Vintage Crochet Pattern for a Cowboy Hat

This is a crochet pattern from 1976 for a Cowboy Hat. Article says.... The unique cowboy shape is achieved by crocheting extremely tight even stitches. You work the hat in three parts: crown, band, and brim. Since the size of the band is flexible, decrease as necessary for a good fit. Be sure to stagger the places where you begin each yarn ( to prevent a seam from showing ) and slip stitch at the end of each round to keep the rounds the same height.....

 

[Vanessa]

May the fashions of the 70's never rise again. . .

This is a crochet pattern from 1976 for a Tyrolian Hat. Article says.... Wouldn't this Tyrolian-style hat make a perfect Father's Day or Christmas gift for Dad or Grandpa? Crochet as tightly as possible and the texture of the hat will be like a sturdy, tightly woven fabric that can be shaped and molded to reflect its fashionable wearer's personality....

 

[The Wingnut]

 

[Dave Keith]

from gin-you-wine cowboy country

I can tell you that wearing a hat like that one could get you hurt, or least seriously ridiculed in these heah parts!

 

[Not-Bogart13]

Looks like an English Bobbie got that not-quite-wanted christmas gift from Grandma!

Discovered on ebay:

 

[Snrbfshn]

For the upcoming season...

If made with red and green yarn, you could turn it upside down and nail it to the fireplace mantle in hopes Santa would fill it up.

 

[indyjim]

I just can't help staring at this picture. In my wildest dreams, I have just never seen anything that ridiculous. I just haven't! I'm trying real hard to think about what I would do if I opened a package on Christmas and that was in it. I would feel real pity for the person who spent a lot of time knitting the thing. That person is obviously not right in the head. Some people have w-a-a-a-y too much
time on their hands.

 

[jamespowers]

Well some vintage hats from an earlier period are not greatly inspired either. Try this:

Doesn't it make you want to go out and get your wife one?

Regards to all,

J

 

[Biltmore Bob]

Wear that down here...

I can tell you that wearing a hat like that one could get you hurt, or least seriously ridiculed in these heah parts!

And this kid'll kick your ass, y'all!

 

[jake_fink]

Jamespowers said:

Well some vintage hats from an earlier period are not greatly inspired either. Try this:

Doesn't it make you want to go out and get your wife one?

Yeah, and one for my standing lamp.

 

[jamespowers]

Yeah, and one for my standing lamp.

Hmmmm...not a bad idea.

 

[Art Fawcett]

what?? what???

You don't like my hat????

 

[Sefton]

You know, if the brim were just a bit longer it would cover his face. Then he could at least hide his identity in public....

Isn't there a crocheted three piece suit that goes with that hat?

 

[Siirous]

I find it hilarious that whoever took the time to make thhose hats took the time to actually make a ribbon for it out of the same material. I have half a mind to photoshop on a black grosgrain just to see what it would look like against the pea green yarn.

Sincerely,
Rob

 

[jamespowers]

All that hat needs is a sign like the T-shirts: "I'm with stupid." The arrow points down at the wearer.

Regards to all,

J

 

[Lalla]

I like those crotched hats. I'd wear them both. No accounting for taste. My sister-in-law loves liver and onions.

But I have to admit, I wouldn't date a man who wore them.