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Sorry, I didn't get it.
-
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What happened to the joke forum?
- Thread starter LostInTyme
- Start date
Tiki Tom
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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Ha ha! I think you can be forgiven for not getting that obscure reference.
Well, not so obscure in the States.
Satan (to new arrival): "Welcome to Hell; you wasted your pitiful life."
New arrival: "Well, at least I'm not an adult living in my father's basement."
Satan: "Screw you!"
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Kids classic:
What does it smell like, in Villa Villekulla??
Like Pipi...
What does it smell like, in Villa Villekulla??
Like Pipi...
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"We need more ships, they said!
They have to be bigger, they said!
And now we're running out of coal, I'M SAYING!!"
They have to be bigger, they said!
And now we're running out of coal, I'M SAYING!!"
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There's a virus going around where people forget the music of the 80s.
Nobody knows The Cure.
______________
Five cows smoked a joint and started playing poker.
That's right, my friends, the steaks were high!
Nobody knows The Cure.
______________
Five cows smoked a joint and started playing poker.
That's right, my friends, the steaks were high!
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Waka-waka!
Tiki Tom
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
Tiki Tom
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck break into a distillery, looking for something to drink.
Looking around, Daffy asks “Is this whiskey?”
Elmer replies “Yes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank!”
Looking around, Daffy asks “Is this whiskey?”
Elmer replies “Yes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank!”
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That's funny, a few years ago I stopped by the local Army/Navy store to see if they had any camouflage pants. The guy behind the counter said, "Yeah, we got a shipment in late last week, but we can't find 'em."
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LostInTyme
Practically Family
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Once, I purchased a very rare, very expensive, collection of ice cubes. By the time I got them home, I had but a bucket of water. To this very day, I can not figure out how I was duped into purchasing fake ice cubes.
LostInTyme
Practically Family
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#7,714·3h ago
New
So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
New
So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
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During the sermon, the pastor talked about death and what we leave behind. After church, three older gentleman, who often met after services, were nursing coffees and talking about the sermon.
1st man: "What would you want others to say about you as you lay in your casket at your funeral? I would want them to say I was a good husband and father."
2nd man: "I would want them to say I was a compassionate, loving man who looked out for others."
3rd man: "I would want them to say, 'Look, he's moving!"
1st man: "What would you want others to say about you as you lay in your casket at your funeral? I would want them to say I was a good husband and father."
2nd man: "I would want them to say I was a compassionate, loving man who looked out for others."
3rd man: "I would want them to say, 'Look, he's moving!"
The Lost kansan
Familiar Face
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New to hats here. Can someone please tell me what the beaver content is on this. I’m trying to calculate resale value!
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What the German's favorite clothing brand? Levis, Ralph Lauren, Lacoste?
Planam...
Planam...
AbbaDatDeHat
I'll Lock Up
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Everybody here knows Heinz has no beavers.
Bush’s Taco Fiesta has the beaver.
B
Tiki Tom
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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Did you know that Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother?
Brocco.
Brocco.
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Dad asks Son.
"How was it, today?"
"Fine, fine! I made love for the first time."
"Now that's cool! We need to celebrate, sit down!"
"Uum, I can party, but still not sit..."
"How was it, today?"
"Fine, fine! I made love for the first time."
"Now that's cool! We need to celebrate, sit down!"
"Uum, I can party, but still not sit..."
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