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What do you say to your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?

dudewuttheheck

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,496
In general, I've kept my overall spending to a relative minimum. My fiancé is the reason I've gotten into more quality clothes in the first place and as long as I don't go too crazy, then she doesn't mind. Plus, being a college student, I am still young enough to just save money from grad gifts and bday gifts and such. I know my spending on clothing will dip drastically when I graduate.
 

Tarwater

Familiar Face
Messages
54
Location
PA
Sometimes we discuss whether we're in a position to make a purchase or not but we don't ask each other permission. I work hard. I take care of things and if the extras can happen too, all the better. She's happy to see me enjoy what I work for. If anything, she's first to say I should get something. When I was considering my new leather jacket, she was first to suggest we open up the finances a bit to get something better than I first considered.
 

oneterrifichog

Practically Family
Messages
878
Location
Alexandria, Va
Never found the need to sneak anything or be deceptive with my Wife about purchases..or seek permission. It seems that I must be in the minority for some reason,though. I have a couple of gun safes for my firearm collection and a closet of various leather jackets for riding and streetwear among other collectables. I don't get that type of game..but maybe I should. Sounds fascinating.
HD

Agreed HD, my wife knows I am always checking out the different sites as well as bikes etc. We respect each others interest and frankly when I make a good deal on a jacket then turn it and put that in my ebay account she knows it's going for something big. It's a hobby. I respect her interest and she respects mine. The game BS is just not worth it.
 

Spitfire

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,078
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark.
I do not say anything.
And if I have to, it runs more or less like this:
Wife: "What do you need another leather jacket for? You already have one."
Me: "What do you need another pair of shoes/boots for? You already have 36 pairs."

The truth is that I sell off jackets before I buy a new one...no questions asked. But I do not have a collection either.
 
Last edited:

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,111
Location
London, UK
I amassed quite a lot of stuff duringa very long period of being single. These days, the girlfriend likes my stuff. It's usually a matter of humour that I spend more interest on clothes than she does. Currently, she has five pairs of shoes. I have sixty-three.

Never found the need to sneak anything or be deceptive with my Wife about purchases..or seek permission. It seems that I must be in the minority for some reason,though. I have a couple of gun safes for my firearm collection and a closet of various leather jackets for riding and streetwear among other collectables. I don't get that type of game..but maybe I should. Sounds fascinating.
HD

Initially misread this, and thought at first you were implying the contents of thed gun safe were directly related to wife's acquiescence to leather jacket purchases!

I got my other half hooked! She's waiting for her first Aero some time next month. ;) We should have a cosy co-dependency up and running shortly...

I might well go down that road once we've both lost a bit of weight and are happier about buying expensive items to fit.
 

Worf

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,212
Location
Troy, New York, USA
The ole lady don't mind. I spend PLENTY on her, new laptop AND desktop, and she's actually quite happy I'm finally looking like something other than a "homeless janitor". Between the mortgage, taxes, car notes and college for our son there were years my underwear looked like belts... Now all of that's done and I can finally spend some money on me. Ah earnt it.. ahm'a gonna spend it.

Worf
 
We were never interested in the whole combining of finances game, so once mortgage etc. are dealt with, you do whatever you want with the cash you have in hand.

I can see how un-necessary spending could become a problem with a joint bank account, for example. The other party will inevitably believe it's their money that's being spent on stuff they consider un-necessary. I've seen it happen a lot (once - mercifully only once - where the chap was a terrible gambler and was constantly betting away the housekeeping. If the couples had simply maintained reasonable financial independence, the problem would be gone.

Interestingly my parents still work the old/traditional working class system (dad hands over entire paycheck to mum, and gets given back his spending money) and it never created any problems that I can remember. This despite the fact that my mother always worked, too. Just one more thing for my mother to worry about and for my father to forget about - like the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, most of the childcare, etc. That was on the old system too.
 

Cyber Lip

Practically Family
Messages
784
Location
Seattle
My wife is part Chinese AND an accountant, so there will not be peace in the house if I were to be honest, lol. We have seperate finances too, so what I do with my $$ doesn't affect her. But still, she gives me a hard time if I go to Starbucks instead of the drinking the cheapest instant coffee at home. If she knew what I actually spent on some of my stuff the nagging would be constant. I just don't need the aggrevation, so I lie :p
 

Tarwater

Familiar Face
Messages
54
Location
PA
We keep our finances combined but never once in 15 years of marriage have we argued over who gets to spend what we have or whose money is going toward what. I'd imagine that's not necessarily common but we started young and with nothing. We didn't have any money to fight about as it all went to our combined survival. Actually, the sneakiest I've ever been about money was when we were starting out and poor and I'd miss meals so she wouldn't have to. Of course I couldn't tell her that. Now we're better off than that so as long as the bases are covered we're happy to see each other get something nice, maybe a reward for dues paid. We've each had our turn at contributing more or less to the pot but once it's in it's ours equally.
 
Messages
16,913
As I try to keep as few jackets as possible, I usually sell those that I no longer need so I tell my girlfriend that I've simply exchanged one jacket for another. Which is more or less the truth, except that I always seem to upgrade to a much pricier jacket but thankfully, she only knows mall brands so Aero, Vanson or Eastman means nothing to her - otherwise I'd have hard time explaining how the hell did I manage to trade an old $20 thrift store jacket for a brand new Highwayman. . . The fact that she has zero interest for the style that I wear helps, too.

I don't feel too good about lying, though, and I honestly do hope that once that Route 66 arrives, I will finally be done with this whole jacket business.

Fun thread!
 

nabottle

A-List Customer
Messages
329
Location
Lakeland, Florida, U.S.
I'm always honest about everything. If she disagrees with my choices, so be it. I've known men who hide cigars and alcohol of various sorts so they can be "MEN" when they want to. That would be an impossible existence for me. Just be a man and you'll get a whole lot more respect from every woman out there.
 

Cyber Lip

Practically Family
Messages
784
Location
Seattle
I'm always honest about everything. If she disagrees with my choices, so be it. I've known men who hide cigars and alcohol of various sorts so they can be "MEN" when they want to. That would be an impossible existence for me. Just be a man and you'll get a whole lot more respect from every woman out there.

you've never been married have you :D
 

Stand By

One Too Many
Messages
1,741
Location
Canada
I know these jackets can be expensive, but why try and conceal the truth from your spouse / significant other? They will find the truth if they get persistent with it. Deception is only going to erode the trust she has for you, so why go that route?

In my case, my wife and I are both obsessive about different things. Jackets are my thing. Necklaces are her current interest. So I might spend hundreds on a jacket, she spends a little less each on dozens of necklaces. It probably evens out somewhere. But if the bills are being paid and the kids are fed, we don't worry over it too much. At least investing in a nice jacket tends to imply that one cares about his appearance, and this is usually well received in return (unless I am totally deceived on this detail).

Besides, she has her interests which can be costly as well. The other day we adopted an orphaned antique piano because it made her happy. I will spend more time trying to resurrect that piano than I would spend earning money for a jacket (or three or four jackets, for that matter).

I'm an avid believer in the elusive "happy middle" ground somewhere in between.

Quite right. I believe complete honesty is the only way to go fellas. And while being so, wearing a flak helmet helps - preferably one that has steel plates over the ears. And anti-glare goggles (because the glaring's not good otherwise).
 

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