What are you Writing?

[Tiki Tom]

Done! 71,000 words.

 

[Benzadmiral]

They are just letting you know they read it. Personally, I think that the, "the way I'd hoped." is a bit obnoxious but they probably think they are being nice, so how do you fault that? I REALLY doubt that they LITERALLY meant the "narrative voice," like whether it was first person present or not, was a problem for them. I think that it just means that the story in general didn't connect with that editor. For the record: RH is HUGE and grossly understaffed, everyone is over worked and I'm skeptical that the editor at Alibi is only working for Alibi. He or she (usually she) probably has a ton of other responsibilities elsewhere in the company as well.

In my opinion (and this is ONLY my opinion) Alibi exists so that RH can say that they are doing something to react to the digital market. They do want material that can compete with KDP one on one at the low digital price points (I believe not publishing in paper allows Alibi to charge prices in digital below what the bookstore agreements allow if you are publishing in paper ... bookstores hate to be dramatically undersold by digital) but in the end they probably still have the mentality of a big publisher; they are looking for blockbusters. Even in digital.

As you probably read sometime back I do work with (not for) RH on occasion. I virtually never try to sell them new material (except my own under very specific circumstances), that's not my area and I try stay out of it completely. Basically, I need them to trust me, so I keep my mouth shut. Except once. A friend of mine's father wrote an absolutely fantastic novel about the Vietnam War. It was called "Matterhorn" I took it to several editors at RH. I said. "I've NEVER asked you to read anything because I never want to waste your time but this is SERIOUS. This is a great book and it's going to kick a**!" No one wanted it or even took it very seriously, "Blah, blah, blah ... no one wants a book about Vietnam post 9/11. It needs work." etc. It did need work but ...
. . . Keep plugging, they are a pebble in the path of you blitzkrieg!

Mike, this is positively one of the best comments I've ever gotten. (Aside from the magic words "Check Enclosed," of course.) Thanks!

 

[Benzadmiral]

Okay, writers, vocabulary time.

In a recent story I lifted a phrase from, I think, Stephen King, and described someone as having a "glassy" fear in her chest. My writing group people pounced on it, squeaking, "What does that mean?" Well, I checked my unabridged dictionary. One of the meanings given is "hard, unyielding, unvarying," which is what I was going for. Sure, I can use one of those three words; but I like the look of "glassy" on the page. And it implies sharp and brittle, as well as hard.

Would you change it?

 

[MikeKardec]

Okay, writers, vocabulary time.

In a recent story I lifted a phrase from, I think, Stephen King, and described someone as having a "glassy" fear in her chest. My writing group people pounced on it, squeaking, "What does that mean?" Well, I checked my unabridged dictionary. One of the meanings given is "hard, unyielding, unvarying," which is what I was going for. Sure, I can use one of those three words; but I like the look of "glassy" on the page. And it implies sharp and brittle, as well as hard.

Would you change it?

No. You are in the business of creating images, as in bits of IMAGINATION. You are writing CODE for the chemical computers between our ears. Your code programs that software to creates its own, highly individual imagery that is tailored exactly and individually to each and every reader. Each creates their own private version of your story.

No one analyses writing if they are reading something they find evocative and engaging ... unless you go to a writer's group where they think their job is to analyze. That doesn't mean that your use of the word doesn't suck in context. Maybe it does (though I doubt it) ... I'm sure you'll make up your own mind when you finish the project, put it down for awhile and then reread or rewrite. The absolute bottom line however, and I have NO doubt of my rightness in this, is that if a real (recreational) reader is getting hung up on any one word you are doing something else that is terribly wrong and your word choice is inconsequential. Your goal is this: The audience only wants to know what happens next. If they don't, you need to rewrite until they do ... especially in a scene where someone has glassy fear in their chest!

Okay. Now, switching from writer's advocate to editor: A glassy fear freezing her chest ... or in her chest. Drew a breath, brittle (cold, harsh) as glass. When you get done writing and go back to make another pass and knowing more of what you want from each and every scene and then line, you might make some adjustments. Regardless of the truth of what I said above it never hurts to get every word and image and idea polished as best you can. But that's the dusting you do after building and decorating the house. Dusting will make a good impression (more on some people than others) but it's not the HOUSE.

 

[Benzadmiral]

Mike, when I read the phrase originally I had no trouble with it, even though I did not know the "hard/unyielding/unvarying" definition. It's true that's not a meaning you hear or read all the time. But it didn't hang me up or "throw me out of the story," as the expression goes. I liked it, which is why I remembered it. The fanzine editor I sent the story to (it's a Man from U.N.C.L.E. fan story, written as a fun exercise) had no issue with the phrase, either. Only the writing group people have mentioned it (two out of four of them) -- and as you point out, their function is to analyze and critique.

This is not a hill to die on, of course, but I wondered what all of you might think, and do.

 

[Fading Fast]

My two cents (if worth even that) is that you, of course, should make the call as I see two directions to go in.

While "glassy fear in her chest" has a certain lilt to it, it is a metaphor that - owing to "glass's" different meanings and that yours, in this case, is not the primary one - is a bit vague / leaves the reader mildly unsure. That is not a bad thing as long as that point isn't critical to the novel - trading vagueness for a certain style can be fine.

Conversely, if you want to remove the ambiguity, I actually like the phrase "a sharp, brittle fear in her chest," or "a hard, but brittle fear in her chest." My lean is always toward clarity, but, IMHO, it really is an artistic call on your part.

 

[MikeKardec]

One of the issues both good and bad in the world of professional screenwriting is the amount of scrutiny of every line. It's great when you have a development executive who carefully looks at everything and sensitively questions it without telling you how to go about fixing what they think needs to be fixed. Unfortunately, those people are about 1 in 10,000. I knew one once back in the 1980s, she left the business and opened a clothing store!

Normally, each line is attacked as if hidden in it was a personal insult. This aggressive position is because your writing could get the executive fired. I have a HYSTERICAL envelope of faxes from the head office of a film I wrote and produced where the powers that be discussed the semantic difference between a character's saying either "could" or "should." Each time we published the script pages with either "could" or "should" in the line they panicked and told us it should be the opposite ... to the point where we eventually just turned off the fax machine. The idiotic thing is that the actress could easily make either word work with whatever intention she put behind the line. Heck, I was the writer and I didn't care because I knew she'd do it the same way, the right way, no matter which word we used. ANYBODY I was in acting classes could make a good scene out of nonsense just by, you know ... acting.

The point is that obsessing over a brick is unimportant if the the whole wall is solid and when people are given permission to criticize they will and can legitimately tear apart anything.

For the perfect example of the above acting exercise here's a clip from The Wire ... it is not for those with delicate ears or eyes, however.

 

[AmateisGal]

Still plugging away on the novel. I doubt I'll make my October 1 deadline (at least the final draft), but I *might* be able to at least get the thing completely written by then.

 

[Benzadmiral]

This Saturday I completed a new Weird West short story, 4300 words, called "Goldhounds." This gives me two stories I can submit to the WW anthology with its deadline on 9/30. Since there is nothing on their site about it, I've written to them to ask if multiple submissions are OK.

ETA: Multiples are okay, they say, though they will not choose more than one story from any one author.

ETA (2): Submitted this one and another at 3350 words to them today. Their response said they would let me know something by Halloween.

 

[MikeKardec]

Been traveling and wound up the trip in NYC. Contracts finally seem to be finalized (except for the signatures and $$$) and the new pub date seems to be Fall '17 for Book One. That's a long way off but is a real relief. There's been a lot of nail biting involved in making this deal!

I'll have time to complete all the peripheral stuff, there's a bunch of essays that are intended to follow this project, before the first book comes out and then I'll be done with it. I'm looking forward to moving on to something less complicated, less of a weird mixture of fiction and non-fiction, less "important" in the eyes of others. A couple of pieces of light fiction, just me, no fancy deal, no other players, no freaking publisher until it's over and in the can. I'm very lucky to be able to do the other work, often as much like journalism as anything, but enough is enough for now!

 

[AmateisGal]

Been traveling and wound up the trip in NYC. Contracts finally seem to be finalized (except for the signatures and $$$) and the new pub date seems to be Fall '17 for Book One. That's a long way off but is a real relief. There's been a lot of nail biting involved in making this deal!

I'll have time to complete all the peripheral stuff, there's a bunch of essays that are intended to follow this project, before the first book comes out and then I'll be done with it. I'm looking forward to moving on to something less complicated, less of a weird mixture of fiction and non-fiction, less "important" in the eyes of others. A couple of pieces of light fiction, just me, no fancy deal, no other players, no freaking publisher until it's over and in the can. I'm very lucky to be able to do the other work, often as much like journalism as anything, but enough is enough for now!

Congrats! I bet it's a relief to have that done and (mostly) off your plate!

 

[AmateisGal]

Finally making some good headway on the novel. Hope to continue tonight. As expected, I did not make my October 1 deadline, but oh well. The biggest problem I've been having is that of resistance. Steven Pressfield talks about this a lot in his book, The War of Art. I can't recommend that book highly enough. So, to combat this resistance, I decided to go back to a tried and true method for me: I freewrite for 5-10 minutes before a writing session to "get the gunk out." It's worked surprisingly well.

I also want to get Pressfield's next book: http://shop.blackirishbooks.com/products/nobody-wants-to-read-your-sh-t

 

[MikeKardec]

I really like some of Pressfield's stuff. The War of Art and Turning Pro were full of good advice. Killing Rommel was terrific fiction and Gates of Fire was so extraordinary I couldn't think straight for days. Really amazing.

My way of overcoming "resistance" deals with it in two ways - 1) don't let yourself get stopped for long. Opening your unconscious is hard and you get out of practice quickly. Happens to me all the time and dealing with it is grueling. 2) don't be afraid to be bad. Just be bad. Suck ... but get through a first draft. After that the resistance dwindles to a manageable roar.

Good luck. Keep going.

 

[MikeKardec]

Finally back home. Sheesh, what a trip. Germany, England, Switzerland, Italy; all for fun. Then NYC for work then Colorado to pick up my truck and drive home to LA ... BUT ... all the stuff I left in the garage in CO got covered in mouse piss ... which carries Hantavirus (also known as Ebola lite). So a HUGE clean up job, lots of Clorox, mask, gloves and the throwing out of some fairly nice stuff. The little buggers not only tried to eat my shoes but they pooped in them too! Imagine a cartoon cussing tantrum where I'm all blue in the face: &$%#@*!!!

But I'm back and can't stop fooling with the articles or essays or postscripts or whatever they are. I'll do that until I get some more rewrites back on the books.

New Date! We kick off for sure (?) in the Fall of '17.

 

[AmateisGal]

I'm jealous!!! I was in England exactly a year ago, and I'm ready to return. I also want to go to Germany and Italy - Italy especially since I have relatives there (near Turin).

UGH. So sorry about the mice. I hate mice with the fire of a thousand suns.

 

[Benzadmiral]

Finished a new "Weird West" story, part of a series, 4500 words. Something about the Weird West genre, or subgenre, comes very easily to me; I grew up watching TV Westerns and have savored novels by people like Elmore Leonard and Loren D. Estleman (both crime writers who have written Westerns). So my WW tales seem to have a mystery woven into the story.

 

[Bushman]

I covered a murder trial last Tuesday, but my professor has yet to get back to me on whether we have enough material to make a story of it. We probably do, but it might just turn into a news brief.

 

[Harp]

I covered a murder trial last Tuesday, but my professor has yet to get back to me....

A Felony Murder doctrine case? Please state the facts of the case and the applicable rule of law.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I hated covering murder trials. I had to sit thru a case once about a kid who beat his grandfather to death with a claw hammer to get money to buy dope, and that put me off trial journalism for life.

 

[Bushman]

I hated covering murder trials. I had to sit thru a case once about a kid who beat his grandfather to death with a claw hammer to get money to buy dope, and that put me off trial journalism for life.

I could easily understand that. The trial I attended involved a man who allegedly strangled his wife to death in a fight. It was very solemn to sit through. We didn't get to hear the verdict as we left when the judge called recess for lunch.