Benzadmiral
Call Me a Cab
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Mike,
Thanks for your detailed reply!
This is a short tale (about 6500-7000 words -- though I can see expanding it to a novelette or making it the core of something longer). So there isn't a lot of room for digressions. Scene 1 sets up the lead character/narrator, his unusual situation, and the outline of his problem; scene 2 gives us some more background on it and the world they're in; and then scene 3, the one I asked about and quoted above, jumps to the narrator conferring with his boss in her office. He explains an additional complication that was hinted at in scene 2. Scene 3 then ends with him being stuck with the job outlined in scene 1.
In a short piece like this, keeping it moving is especially important. I couldn't, and can't, see why opening a new scene with a line or two of dialogue, and then quickly explaining where they are before continuing the conversation, should be so terrible.
The entire genre of modern Science Fiction makes a point of dropping you down in medias res and letting you figure out when and where you are. All the explanations would bog a story down and kill it otherwise. It's tried and true in both the macro sense and the micro (just a couple of lines to start a scene) sense.
Exactly. The classic SF example is a line from one of (I think) Heinlein's stories: "The door dilated." You read that and you know this is not 20th Century America. Or in crime fiction, John D. MacDonald's, "We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge."
Thanks for your detailed reply!
This is a short tale (about 6500-7000 words -- though I can see expanding it to a novelette or making it the core of something longer). So there isn't a lot of room for digressions. Scene 1 sets up the lead character/narrator, his unusual situation, and the outline of his problem; scene 2 gives us some more background on it and the world they're in; and then scene 3, the one I asked about and quoted above, jumps to the narrator conferring with his boss in her office. He explains an additional complication that was hinted at in scene 2. Scene 3 then ends with him being stuck with the job outlined in scene 1.
In a short piece like this, keeping it moving is especially important. I couldn't, and can't, see why opening a new scene with a line or two of dialogue, and then quickly explaining where they are before continuing the conversation, should be so terrible.
The entire genre of modern Science Fiction makes a point of dropping you down in medias res and letting you figure out when and where you are. All the explanations would bog a story down and kill it otherwise. It's tried and true in both the macro sense and the micro (just a couple of lines to start a scene) sense.
Exactly. The classic SF example is a line from one of (I think) Heinlein's stories: "The door dilated." You read that and you know this is not 20th Century America. Or in crime fiction, John D. MacDonald's, "We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody dropped the girl off the bridge."