Wedding advice: White Tie OK with Bride's off-white gown?

[musicmax]

My bride-to-be has selected what she describes as a "light ivory" gown with a "chapel length" train. As our ceremony is to be at half past six in the evening, I would prefer to follow tradition and wear white tie & tails. She is concerned that the white pique of my tie/shirt/waistcoat will clash with the off-white of her gown. After extensive searching for tie/shirt/waistcoat in ivory or off-white pique (which I wouldn't mind donning since my pale skin prefers ivory/ecru to pure white) I have determined with some certainty that such beasts do not exist.

Can anyone here either:

- Point me to a source for ivory pique accoutrements, or

- Put my betrothed's mind at ease by reporting that no, her light ivory gown and my white tie will not condemn us to a lifetime of mismatched wedding photographs?

Thanks!
Charles a/k/a musicmax

 

[Orgetorix]

My bride-to-be has selected what she describes as a "light ivory" gown with a "chapel length" train. As our ceremony is to be at half past six in the evening, I would prefer to follow tradition and wear white tie & tails. She is concerned that the white pique of my tie/shirt/waistcoat will clash with the off-white of her gown. After extensive searching for tie/shirt/waistcoat in ivory or off-white pique (which I wouldn't mind donning since my pale skin prefers ivory/ecru to pure white) I have determined with some certainty that such beasts do not exist.

Can anyone here either:

- Point me to a source for ivory pique accoutrements, or

- Put my betrothed's mind at ease by reporting that no, her light ivory gown and my white tie will not condemn us to a lifetime of mismatched wedding photographs?

Thanks!
Charles a/k/a musicmax

Women have been wearing ball gowns (not to mention wedding dresses) in all shades of ivory, cream, champagne, ecru, etc., for decades. Centuries, maybe. Until the tailcoat began to die out, their beaus were expected to be in white tie as a matter of course.

After extensive searching for tie/shirt/waistcoat in ivory or off-white pique (which I wouldn't mind donning since my pale skin prefers ivory/ecru to pure white) I have determined with some certainty that such beasts do not exist.

That's right, they don't. White tie is supposed to be white.

I suppose what you think of your wedding photographs in years hence depends on your expectations. If you subscribe to the very modern, very odd notion that every member of the wedding party has to match exactly, down to the shade of their teeth, you might think that white and ivory together look odd. If you don't, if you accept that men's and women's style have their own rich traditions that don't always work the same, I think you'll appreciate your wedding photos for what they are: a bunch of well-dressed people gathered to celebrate the union of two very elegant and stylish folks.

Congratulations!

 

[Anthony Jordan]

I agree with Orgetorix.

 

[Aloysius]

Might I add that our friend Orgetorix looked remarkably good at his wedding (i.e. take his advice!)

 

[Miss 1929]

"Cream" tie would just look dirty!

It must be the whitest of white. Black tie would be acceptable (but the shirt still has to be whitest of white) if her gown is not very formal - for instance if she has no train, no veil but it is still dressy cocktail or evening style. But if she is in full-on formal with veil and train (and I hope she is taking advantage of this one-time opportunity) then you should be in WT&T.
Unless it is a daytime wedding? Then you could do the striped-trouser-grey cutaway look... but the shirt must still be white.
Take all the wedding photos in black and white, and no one will know! If you guests get enough champagne, they won't remember.
My husband and I did WT&T with me in a very cream gown, and it was lovely. It didn't even occur to me to think of it not matching, as cream just is not done for men's formal shirts/waistcoats/ties.

 

[Mid-fogey]

I think all the folks...

...here are spot on. You need to wear white. The look of your beautiful bride will in no way be diminished by the crisp whiteness of your tie and shirt.

 

[Edward]

Congratulations...

and yes, I agree with the consensus here. If you want to do something modern that matches in exactly with the dress, go for it - no point being vintage accurate if you're not gonig to be happy with the photos - BUT... white tie and tails is white tie and tails. You could wear ivory with it if you want, but then it's not white tie..... that's just the way it is. Personally, I'm one for sticking with tradition and keeping it proper white tie and tails. I think it'll look great in photos, and as said for generations men have done that and it has looked superb with all colours of dress sported by the ladies. FWIW, I would similarly reject the notion of wearing a coloured bow with semi-formal evening wear as not properly black tie - black tie is a black tie, and will always look superb. The wedding / ball photos which date terribly and quickly are those which follow contemporary trends, rather than vintage style.

Personally, I think white and ivory can combine rather well - there's a photo of my warm weather black tie in the 'men of the lounge' thread as a for instance - white shirt and an ivory jacket, I love how the two go together.

 

[musicmax]

OK thanks everybody! Pure white it is.

 

[Jovan]

Just as reinforcement, I've worn white tie and waistcoat at my prom with my date who was wearing off-white. The pictures came out fine, and we made a lovely looking dance couple. Can't speak from experience with marriage... I'm too young for that thing right now.