Vintage Etiquette

[freebird]

Freebird, this should be mandatory reading... I especially like the section for "Everyday Manners at Home." (#36)

Thanks for the link.

You are most welcome.

 

[alexandra]

I have a lot of manners and etiquette burned into my brain from childhood that I do without thinking. Crossing legs at the ankles, thank you notes and freshening up are included. People laugh at me when I use proper table manners at McDonalds but it's not my fault!

I also expect to have doors opened for me which sounds demanding when put that way, but I am really shocked when a man (epecially one I'm out with) goes in a door before me. Or takes the last seat on a bus when it's between himself and a woman. I'm also shocked when a young woman takes the seat when it's between her and an older woman.

 

[alexandra]

(should've seen the odd looks at the McDonalds lol)

Oh I'm glad there's another McDonalds weirdo out there! lol

 

[desi_de_lu_lu]

Unfortunately, the times have changed a lot since the golden era and lots of the old etiquette stuff is completely unusable in today´s world.

I will politely disagree with you donCarlos...

 

[sixsexsix]

I don't think I have any of those manners....not to say I'm not polite, just not the old-fashioned version of polite

 

[freebird]

Oh I'm glad there's another McDonalds weirdo out there! lol

Me too! I was afraid I was the only one.

 

[Pink Dahlia]

I "sir" my elders but never men/women my own age. But, I also don't use "ma'am" or "miss" for fear of offending. I was there was a female version of "sir."

One thing I notice a lack of with my generation (I'm embarrassed to say) is just common politeness. Like saying "please" and "thank you" which I always do. Instead of saying "excuse me" after one burps it's cool to do it really loud and expect some applause. Gross.

 

[drjones]

have you no manners?

I "sir" my elders but never men/women my own age. But, I also don't use "ma'am" or "miss" for fear of offending. I was there was a female version of "sir."

One thing I notice a lack of with my generation (I'm embarrassed to say) is just common politeness. Like saying "please" and "thank you" which I always do. Instead of saying "excuse me" after one burps it's cool to do it really loud and expect some applause. Gross.

OH so true, Pink! I too have seen this. Even in my brother's generation. Its sad. I think old ways of ettiquette and courtesy are going the way of the Dodo (sp) to the generation following my own!

DRJONES

 

[freebird]

OH so true, Pink! I too have seen this. Even in my brother's generation. Its sad. I think old ways of etiquette and courtesy are going the way of the Dodo (sp) to the generation following my own!

DRJONES

I noticed it even when I was in High School. Between the burping loudly, and flatulence, oh how the other guys loved bean day in the cafeteria, it was pretty gross ,even back then.

For the Gentlemen of the board. I have found an on-line blog/forum, called "The Art of Manliness", which you may be interested in. It is like a modern day Emily Post for the modern day gentleman. They also offer a free download able ebook for Gentlemen's etiquette. It is freely distributable so I have included a link to one on my website...you have to join to download it, and I believe the ladies might enjoy downloading it and giving it to their significant others. Just right click and save the target. Free Ebook

 

[Smuterella]

i just call everyone sweetheart

 

[Pink Dahlia]

i just call everyone sweetheart

I wouldn't complain about that!

 

[KY Gentleman]

I'm surprised at how often good manners are commented on because they are so "out of the ordinary".
On the other hand, often a polite gesture goes unnoticed and thats a bit aggravating as well...

 

[Gaige]

Hello Lounge,

Or do you dismiss old school manners as outdated and invalid for the year 2008?

Absolutely not. I've found that many people find it surprising that anyone follows such things, however. Especially if I'm dressed super-casual (shorts, t-shirt, etc) so perhaps don't look the part of someone who would; I do anyway and the surprise is evident.

Gentlemen: Do you still go out of your way to open the door for ladies? (even if they aren't your wife/girlfriend/mother/sister?) Pull out her chair? Take her coat? Bite your tongue when you want to raise your voice to her?

I do open and hold the door, always. Women I'm out with will, at times, laugh due to actually not being used to such a thing. Then I pull out a chair and unlock/open the car door first and they're floored. I was raised that way, however, and I find it most appropriate.

 

[DeaconKC]

I still do those things that a gentleman is supposed to do. I also have an annual day in my high school guy's Sunday School class to teach them these things. How to hold an umbrella, doors, chairs, etc. My "Loyal Minions" are my workers at church and are always getting complimented.

Here's three of my guys, Jeremy, Nathan and Nathan.

 

[Bubbly]

I absolutely love it when the door is held open for me! Just wish more men especially would do so.

I always make sure to say please and thank you, sir and ma'am, that sort of thing.

What I think the issue or problem is - too many parents these days work so many hours, with both parents really being required to and there for don't spend enough time with their children.

 

[$ally]

I love being with friends, family, coworkers, and beaus who demonstrate decent table manners. That is so rare today. I've endured some appalling dinner conversations and behavior at restaurants, including detailed discussions of death of relatives or pets, illness, violent crimes, sexual encounters, and the grotesque in general.
I also love a gentleman who knows how to treat the help. I have judged my dates harshly by their kindness (or lack thereof) to servers. I need to be with someone who is considerate to EVERYONE. A superior conceited attitude is unpleasant to me.

 

[pigeon toe]

It depends on the situation how polite I am, but I always have table manners and try to be as polite and nice as possible. I'm also pretty laid back though, and warmness and friendliness appeal more to me than the occasional "rigid" feeling that comes with adhering to rules *too* much.

I have to admit that sometimes I'm one of those gross girls who burp really loudly just to get a laugh. But only with friends!

 

[donCarlos]

I will politely disagree with you donCarlos...

Of course you can I simply think that the modern official etiquette is enough, because it´s adapted for today´s world and moral. For example, you´re not able to get some advice on cell phones issues in etiquette from 1920´s, because there were no. There are also some collocations in old czech language which certainly wouldn´t be appropriate today. Not to mention some details like absence of places to put my hat on, even in some better restaurants etc. If I´d want to strictly use the etiquette from the 20´s, the reality would hit me hard right into my face.

 

[Ms. McGraw]

It's funny I found this thread this morning! Last night Ace and I went to dinner, and he wouldn't let me open the doors to the restaurant, but when we left I stood by the car door waiting for him to open it and he totally ignored me! He was in the car and in the driver’s seat texting someone before I gave up and just opened the door myself. I have to admit I was a little annoyed…even if it does sound a little petty of me when I say it out loud.
I do try to always get the door for anyone older that I am, and I've become a little nuts about Thank You notes. I also use "Sir" and ALWAYS "Miss" no matter how old the lady is, that way there can be no hurt feelings. As for makeup at the table, it's a pet peeve of my Daddy's so neither my Mom or I do it.

 

[miss_elise]

sadly, i usually find myself holding open the doors for other people...i am always surprised by the number of "gentlemen" who will just go right on through a door i'm holding open for them, without trying to relieve me or even a thank-you....sometimes, i feel like i want to hold my hand out to see if anyone will tip me...