Things You Learn as an Old Car Driver

[LizzieMaine]

*You're operating a machine, not an appliance.

*Cars, like people, will take their own damn time getting started in the morning.

*There's a reason why "car coats" were popular.

*No matter where you go, you'll run into someone who used to own a car just like yours, except it was a different year, model, and make.

*"Suicide doors" are aptly named.

*Only an idiot drives around without a fire extinguisher in the trunk.

*That scene about changing tires in "A Christmas Story" is not an exaggeration.

*Drippings on the garage floor are just a fact of life.

*Hot-wiring is just as easy as it looks in the movies.

*"Zerk" is not a funny word.

*You aren't in as big a hurry as you think you are.

 

[GHT]

Hot-wiring is just as easy as it looks in the movies.

Aint that the truth? And so is, sliding a twelve inch ruler down the door window, between glass and bodywork, rotate ruler towards doorlock. Hey presto, door unlocks.
Cars worked better, take that as, you could do it yourself, before onboard computers.
Self maintenance was easy, which is why the starting handle was made redundant. Too easy to turn an engine. We can't have that.
In a major collision, everyone gets out to check on everyone else.
In a minor collision everyone ends up having fisticuffs.
Your new car is your pride and joy. Everyone else's car is just traffic.
Cars are inanimate, they are not temperamental. Although it often seems so.
Speed limits are maximum, not minimum.
Contrary to popular opinion, traffic cops' parents are usually married.
Oil is an exhaustible resource, the price of fuel will never go down.
If you want kids, forget The Ferrari, unless you happen to be born into that dynasty.
Volvo is not part of the female anatomy.
Driving is not a contact sport.
And finally: Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.' The man looked at her with disdain and replied, 'That's what you can do when you're young and bright.' This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW. The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, 'What did you do that for?' Elsie smiled at him and said, 'That's what you can do when you're old and rich.'

 

[tonyb]

...

*No matter where you go, you'll run into someone who used to own a car just like yours, except it was a different year, model, and make. ...

Ain't that the truth.

It would be annoying if not that the run of old-car owners (those who actually drive the things) have a real enthusiasm for the contraptions, and are generally happy to chat.

Another sign of notbeingakidanymore is that instead of hearing that a person used to own a car just like that one, is hearing that his parent or grandparent used to own a car just like that one.

 

[vitanola]

Yes indeed. When I was driving a Flivver Coupe in daily service I'd forever have folks coming up to me, telling me that their grandfather (or father or uncle) drive a car exactly like mine, though on further questioning the remembered car would turn out to be a green 1958 Chevrolet four-door sedan, rather than a black 1919 Ford coupe.

 

[GHT]

Direction indicators are not an optional extra.
Traffic circles, (roundabouts) I here that their introduction in The States is causing much consternation. Ha!
Foreign tourists in America, can never get their heads around the junction that displays STOP. From every direction. Who gets the right of way?
When a headlamp blows, change it! You look like a motorcycle at night.
Bus lanes should be scrapped.

 

[KILO NOVEMBER]

Foreign tourists in America, can never get their heads around the junction that displays STOP. From every direction. Who gets the right of way?

Unfortunately, many native drivers here don't know the rules either. So, for the benefit of ignorant locals and for our foreign guests, here they are:
1) If two cars arrive at a four-way stop intersection, one after the other, the car which arrived first has the right-of-way.
2) If two cars arrive at the same time, the one on the right has the right-of -way
3) When there is a queue of cars at a four-way stop, the right-of-way passes counter (anti)-clockwise, with one vehicle at a time proceeding while the others wait.

 

[rue]

And may I add:

*Defrost is a manual job, not a switch

I get the "I had one just like it" talk too lol

 

[Stanley Doble]

If you drive a Chrysler product you find out what "left hand threads" means.

If you drive a Ford or Chrysler product you find out what "6 volt, positive ground" means.

The first time you descend a long hill you learn the wisdom of having a working hand brake. The second time, you learn the wisdom of going down a hill in the same gear you used to go up it.

You have parts you never heard of and they all need repair, adjustment or replacement at regular intervals.

 

[Wire9Vintage]

Great list, Lizzie. I drive a 1973 VW bug, which looks like almost every other year of bug to the casual observer. I "get" to hear about every bug anyone or their friends and family ever owned!

Since there's no air conditioner, you also quickly learn why women used to wear head scarves!

And the idea of keeping spare parts around, as well as a fire extinguisher, some duct tape and some rags and baling wire also occurs to you after the first couple of drives!

 

[scottyrocks]

'Manual choke' is not just putting your hands around the neck of the person who pulled into that spot you were waiting for.

 

[GHT]

'Manual choke' is not just putting your hands around the neck of the person who pulled into that spot you were waiting for.

:rofl: Brilliant, but there are times...............

And the idea of keeping spare parts around, as well as a fire extinguisher, some duct tape and some rags and baling wire also occurs to you after the first couple of drives!

I own, along with my brother, a fleet of commercial vehicles, many of which are delivery vans. For tax relief purposes, my brother and I have such a van a piece, which we use for service, breakdown or accident cover. For 90% of the time, our two vans are just used for commuting. The sliding side door hardly ever gets used, and as a result, moss forms down the door runner. So like Wire9 and others, we have a collection of day to day spares for running repairs. Add to that a spraycan of weedkiller. For the moss.

Unfortunately, many native drivers here don't know the rules either. So, for the benefit of ignorant locals and for our foreign guests, here they are:
1) If two cars arrive at a four-way stop intersection, one after the other, the car which arrived first has the right-of-way.
2) If two cars arrive at the same time, the one on the right has the right-of -way
3) When there is a queue of cars at a four-way stop, the right-of-way passes counter (anti)-clockwise, with one vehicle at a time proceeding while the others wait.

Thank you very much for that. I was considering printing it off as a cut out and keep, so that next time I visit your country I might stick it to the dashboard. But I would probably end up having a wreck whilst consulting what to do next. I have to agree with you about native drivers. You watch them and they seem to have a policy of: Accelerate and hope!

 

[Fading Fast]

As my first car had a manual transmission, bias ply tires and no power steering or brakes, you learned

- why truck drivers used to have muscular arms

- to feel, really, feel the road, how the car handled, how it moved through its gears

- to be more engaged with your car and the act of driving (modern cars are more dangerous as there is so little to do and so little tactile reality that they lull you into a false sense of security)

 

[AtomicEraTom]

In Wisconsin, whoever has the biggest truck usually gets to go first.....

1) If two cars arrive at a four-way stop intersection, one after the other, the car which arrived first has the right-of-way.
2) If two cars arrive at the same time, the one on the right has the right-of -way
3) When there is a queue of cars at a four-way stop, the right-of-way passes counter (anti)-clockwise, with one vehicle at a time proceeding while the others wait.

You know you're an old-schooler in the car world if you prefer a manual choke to an electric one.

'Manual choke' is not just putting your hands around the neck of the person who pulled into that spot you were waiting for.

You also learn that no two cars start exactly the same. Some need full choke, or half choke, then 3 pumps of the gas pedal, turn the key, if it doesn't fire up, hold the pedal to the floor and try again. If it starts after that, hold the pedal at 1/4 throttle for a minute. Seems every old car I've ever owned has had some version of this ritual.

 

[vitanola]

As my first car had a manual transmission, bias ply tires and no power steering or brakes, you learned

- why truck drivers used to have muscular arms

- to feel, really, feel the road, how the car handled, how it moved through its gears

- to be more engaged with your car and the act of driving (modern cars are more dangerous as there is so little to do and so little tactile reality that they lull you into a false sense of security)

That is why I have never particularly cared for Chrysler products of the late 1950s and early 1960s. Their "100%" power steering and power brakes give one an really odd feeling of utter detachment from the road.

 

[vitanola]

As my first car had a manual transmission, bias ply tires and no power steering or brakes, you learned

- why truck drivers used to have muscular arms

- to feel, really, feel the road, how the car handled, how it moved through its gears

- to be more engaged with your car and the act of driving (modern cars are more dangerous as there is so little to do and so little tactile reality that they lull you into a false sense of security)

That is why I have never particularly cared for Chrysler products of the late 1950s and early 1960s. Their "100%" power steering and power brakes give one an really odd feeling of utter detachment from the road.

 

[LizzieMaine]

You also learn that no two cars start exactly the same. Some need full choke, or half choke, then 3 pumps of the gas pedal, turn the key, if it doesn't fire up, hold the pedal to the floor and try again. If it starts after that, hold the pedal at 1/4 throttle for a minute. Seems every old car I've ever owned has had some version of this ritual.

To say nothing of learning to appreciate a pull-out throttle knob when starting a car with a starter pedal.

 

[vitanola]

To say nothing of learning to appreciate a pull-out throttle knob when starting a car with a starter pedal.

Or that little brass loop at the lower left corner of the radiator shroud, for use when cranking.

 

[1930artdeco]

Driving an old car for me means having to slooowwww down and enjoy life. You also learn how what makes a car work and how you can anticipate all of the other morons on the road who have no skills at driving. Ran Over-thank you. I also don't miss the stereo in my Model A which forces you to actually TALK to other people.

Mike

 

[AtomicEraTom]

You also learn the many advantages of wing windows.

 

[Warbaby]

Your trunk is always half-full of tools and spare parts. And you take pride in never having had to call a tow truck.