There Oughta Be a Dress Code...

[JeffOYB]

I live in ugly exurbia where I'm confronted by blight everywhere I turn. So I'm not surprised when the "fashion" I see every day is equally robotically idiotic.

We visited a nearby city last weekend. Grand Rapids, MI. It has a well-kept traditional downtown with traditional outlying villages and neighborhoods. Some blight but not too much.

We attended an event at the fancy hotel downtown along the river. The old hotel has a grand foyer with balconies around it, high ceilings, chandeliers, everything ornate.

I about cried when I saw the ugly people in such a pretty place.

There oughta be a dress code.

It doesn't have to be this way, to be ugly.

Worn-advertising, sportswear, and bulbous sports shoes with untied laces really have no place in a classy joint. Utility jeans don't either. Real shoes, blazers and dresses should be required. It's the least we can do to live up to where we are.

Lastly, wouldn't it be something if everyone there were also actually there? ...I wouldn't be against a ban (scrambler/jammer) on electronics in the public spaces of such buildings. Keep it to the privacy of your room or bathroom, but don't let me see you straining at a clicky laptop out in a beautiful hotel lobby or standing in the middle of the room talking to someone invisible. Sure, such a place might not have hardly anyone after such a rule but everyone there would actually be there. Wouldn't that be something? Can you imagine people in a room actually looking around or talking to other people the whole time?

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Lastly, wouldn't it be something if everyone there were also actually there? ...I wouldn't be against a ban (scrambler/jammer) on electronics in the public spaces of such buildings. Keep it to the privacy of your room or bathroom, but don't let me see you straining at a clicky laptop out in a beautiful hotel lobby or standing in the middle of the room talking to someone invisible. Sure, such a place might not have hardly anyone after such a rule but everyone there would actually be there. Wouldn't that be something? Can you imagine people in a room actually looking around or talking to other people the whole time?

 

[samtemporary]

All well-dressed people, too...

 

[Shangas]

I went out for dinner with my dad and my cousin and her boyfriend on Tuesday night.

Dad told me that there was a dresscode at the restaurant we were going to. I was amazed that 'dresscode' was still a word.

That said, it can't have been a very strong dresscode. My cousin's boyfriend made it in wearing jeans. And this was in a five star hotel.

 

[Edward]

Lastly, wouldn't it be something if everyone there were also actually there? ...I wouldn't be against a ban (scrambler/jammer) on electronics in the public spaces of such buildings. Keep it to the privacy of your room or bathroom, but don't let me see you straining at a clicky laptop out in a beautiful hotel lobby or standing in the middle of the room talking to someone invisible. Sure, such a place might not have hardly anyone after such a rule but everyone there would actually be there. Wouldn't that be something? Can you imagine people in a room actually looking around or talking to other people the whole time?

I understand where you're coming from, but the idea fills me with horror. I travel a lot on my own, and the concept of not having my own world into which to retreat is a depressing one. 99.9% of the time, I don't want to interact with strangers - I've even been known to carry a book in order to avoid it. I have enough enforced small-talk and awkwardness at work - when I retire to the hotel for the night, I don't want more! Half the time I'm not really paying much attention to the phone at all, but it's an easy barrier. It's either that or take up smoking cigarettes.

 

[Stray Cat]

It's either that or take up smoking cigarettes.

Actually, smoking is VERY social. As soon as you "light one up", you're a part of the pack. There are "social smokers", those who can not quit the habit just because it draws them closer to other people (other smokers). You MUST have noticed how they all gather round, it is a sort of a clique.

So, I do agree on "phone as a barrier". Most of the young ones (teens and young adult) use headphones for detaching themselves from the outside world. You see headphones, you don't talk to them. It is exactly that: a statement: DO NOT talk to me now.

I used to do that.
Ignoring others is SO MUCH easier when you can blame it on "Oh, sorry, I didn't saw/heard you there" and showing your phone/mp3/I-player..
I don't do it anymore.
Hell, if I don't feel like talking to ya, I don't need a barrier to help me. Yes, that makes me RUDE.. just because I now refuse to use an excuse in a form of modern technology to hide behind.
I am rude. So what?

(at least I'm alway dressed for the occasion..) :rofl:

 

[Flicka]

I understand where you're coming from, but the idea fills me with horror. I travel a lot on my own, and the concept of not having my own world into which to retreat is a depressing one. 99.9% of the time, I don't want to interact with strangers - I've even been known to carry a book in order to avoid it. I have enough enforced small-talk and awkwardness at work - when I retire to the hotel for the night, I don't want more! Half the time I'm not really paying much attention to the phone at all, but it's an easy barrier. It's either that or take up smoking cigarettes.

Oh yes. It goes double if you're a lone woman used to travelling a lot for business. My phone and computer are my shields.

 

[Edward]

Actually, smoking is VERY social. As soon as you "light one up", you're a part of the pack. There are "social smokers", those who can not quit the habit just because it draws them closer to other people (other smokers). You MUST have noticed how they all gather round, it is a sort of a clique.

That would be, were I to take up smoking, the downside of the smoking ban. Wouldn't mind going outside, but I'd hate all that forced camaraderie nonsense. It's like meeting people from the same part of the world when you're on holiday - or, heck, people from the Old Country when I'm here in London. A lot of folks would immediately, excitedly, ask "oh, where are you from, do you know..." The very idea makes my toes curl. I keep schtum and avoid eye contact.

Where smoking would be more agreeably anti-social would be if you were the only person there, standing around on your own. I have been on residential events, usually two a year, with work. I'm the only pipe-fan on these, and on many's an occasion that has provided me with a very nice exit from socilising with students. Bliss.

So, I do agree on "phone as a barrier". Most of the young ones (teens and young adult) use headphones for detaching themselves from the outside world. You see headphones, you don't talk to them. It is exactly that: a statement: DO NOT talk to me now.

I used to do that.
Ignoring others is SO MUCH easier when you can blame it on "Oh, sorry, I didn't saw/heard you there" and showing your phone/mp3/I-player..
I don't do it anymore.
Hell, if I don't feel like talking to ya, I don't need a barrier to help me. Yes, that makes me RUDE.. just because I now refuse to use an excuse in a form of modern technology to hide behind.
I am rude. So what?

(at least I'm alway dressed for the occasion..) :rofl:

Ha.... quite. I'm just not that assertive. On planes especially, sooner I can get the headphones on the better.... I actually had a friend at school used to wear headphones on the street. Never plugged in, just used them as a convenient excuse not to acknowledge people if necessary. Genius idea.

Oh yes. It goes double if you're a lone woman used to travelling a lot for business. My phone and computer are my shields.

Yeah, I travel a fair bit on university business. One reason why, as a single guy, I find it so hard to get motivated to go on holiday other than an extra few days tacked on to the occasional work trip. Travelling off somewhere on my own for a week just feels like work again! lol

 

[Flicka]

Yeah, I travel a fair bit on university business. One reason why, as a single guy, I find it so hard to get motivated to go on holiday other than an extra few days tacked on to the occasional work trip. Travelling off somewhere on my own for a week just feels like work again! lol

I know the feeling. Airports remind me of work. As soon as I'm out of there I can get a holiday vibe though (as long as I'm not in Brussels, haha).

 

[JeffOYB]

Escape is what bathrooms and private rooms are for.

Just sitting there, gazing off, that should be international signal for 'leave me alone.'

I would think that pre-gizmo that public places were full of people either socializing or on their own -- it likely wasn't such a tricky stunt to achieve a variety of desired social/quiet results.

There are lots of social tricks for, if pestered, saying Hi then Excuse me.

I personally think airline travel should at least include a nod or Hi but I notice nowadays a lot of instant shielding. Seems a bit dreadful but I don't travel much.

Then there are the earbuds in public thing which can be a problem as somewhat often people do need to communicate, especially for safety. I often come up on people on narrow paths and I say Hi as I'm coming up but they jump, startled. Their fault, of course. Or a group of us on bikes will come upon a voluntarily deaf person and have to stop and tap their shoulder, then they startle again in addition to balking us needlessly.

 

[LizzieMaine]

A two-cent newspaper made an effective "don't bother me" signal on the trains, planes, or subways of the 1930s. One reason tabloid papers became so popular in the cities during the Era is that they were easier for public-transit straphangers to hold up in front of their faces than broadsheets.

Me, I just go to sleep. No devices needed.

 

[Shangas]

People who distract themselves too much with phones and earphones have only themselves to blame for any resulting stupidity on their part.

 

[JeffOYB]

Interesting points about newspapers!

I don't declare to have sorted any of this out. : )

Like: What difference is there between reading a book or newspaper in public and reading a hand-device or laptop?

Earbuds and loud cell talking are obvious nuisances and hazards -- but I still wonder about other things, like the "passive" devices...

Ah...maybe there's a difference: a Kindle is passive, like a book or paper -- you might be absorbed but you're still *actively* in your physical setting. When someone's fingers are fiddling then they're no longer active in the present but only out in nether-space.

Now...how is that different from jotting notes down with pen and paper?

First, the paper is still present in the same place the person is. But maybe that's not much of a difference. Or is it?

At cafes today -- the people there aren't really there. They're working, and might as well be in bathroom stalls. Seems like a sizeable difference from prior eras. However, it is possible to break the barrier if need be. I used to think it was neat to work in public, if only as a change of pace, now I'm not so sure. I have made nice blends of laptop work and awareness of my social space, though, and had nice chats as a break.

Then there's posture -- the Primate Hunch of the thumb-worker is an embarrassing thing, especially for Bold Humans. This new creeping, hunched, looking down and bumping into things social posture is very bad.

In our local university (cum voc-tech) town these days the kids all dress alike in their libertine liberty: sweats, PJs, hoodie, ballcap, Ugg boots, flipflops and ad-wear. And they're all alike in stumbling along hunched over while fiddling their thumbs, or holding a thing to their ear saying "Can you hear me now? I'm outside walking and going to the bar." Then once the sun goes down they're alike in weaving as they stumble because they're also drunk. But I digress...

 

[Stray Cat]

I actually had a friend at school used to wear headphones on the street. Never plugged in, just used them as a convenient excuse not to acknowledge people if necessary. Genius idea.

Been there, done that.
It works brilliantly (minus the crossing of the streets with headphones on, it's against the law here..)
Great thing about NOT playing the tunes is that I could HEAR what they were saying about me as I walk by.. There was a lot of "No, she can't hear you, she's one of THOSE people" (I never got to find out what was being one of "those" all about.. I guessed it had something to do with excluding the rest of the world). And there was "Young people these days..". And, naturally, "Poser".
Poser?
I wasn't posing, sir.. I was simply IGNORING you.
Now, with my new "I'm not wearing headphones, yet I sill ignore you" method.. Everyone remain silent. I guess it's easier to say it to my back, or to my covered ears, than to take courage and call me rude to my face.. lol

Me, I just go to sleep. No devices needed.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. :thumb:
It's all I can say.

 

[Flicka]

Then again, since I mostly do this in airports or in the eurocrat area in Brussels, a phone user must be considered a minor blot on the landscape compared to the frightful architecture that surrounds me

 

[m0nk]

I agree 100% with the need for actual dress codes anymore, especially when in a location that has the level of class that should demand better dress. As far as smoking, it seems that with all of the smoking bans, any smoking area outside is typically loaded with the same people that irritate with with their lack of respect in a formal setting, etc.

 

[LizzieMaine]

As far as dress codes in airports and on planes are concerned, when one is being herded like cattle into a cattle car, one can't be too fussy about what other people are wearing. I'm happy if they've simply had a bath.

The only way civility is ever going to return to airports is if the airlines treat passengers like passengers and not cargo. And that ain't likely to happen as long as there's a buck to be made.

 

[sheeplady]

I have a distinct problem with people unloading their tragic life stories on me when I am traveling or commuting alone. Absolute strangers have told me about their ex-spouses, abusive relationships, romantic affairs, unplanned children, etc. The worst is an international or cross-country flight, where I get all the juicy information laid out because there are no time constraints. I don't know if this is just me or a sign of the times. I understand that sometimes people need a stranger to talk to, but sometimes I don't want to hear someone's life story or I have work to do. Some of us really do need to get work done on our commutes. So on go the headphones and my work goes in front of me.

Although, if someone really wants to talk to you, they'll just talk, headphones, book, or whatever. Some will even tap you on the shoulder, arm, or leg until you relent- I've had that happen at least twice now.

 

[JeffOYB]

In a "real city" it seems like the dress code should apply everywhere. When you go to town, dress right.

I suppose there still is a dress code of sorts everywhere -- many people just don't seem to know it. Workers are seen as workers -- they're wearing safety vests, etc. Bums are seen as bums. Businessfolk likewise. Civilized people likewise -- since a person in decent attire is seen as civilized, I would think.

But there's a huge zone which includes many who are "cloaking," some on purpose. They're dressed like slobs but in "real life" they're not -- except when on the street that's real life so I guess they ARE slobs. Folks dressed in sportswear are saying they've just been exercising and are sweaty. Folks dressed in ads for sports teams are saying they're just coming from a booster rally. Folks dressed in other ads are saying they're unpaid prostitutes. (!!!)

Then there are the cool people. Those in tattered jeans, tennies and tshirt, shades and ballcap (or knit cap) who've spent $500 on that kit and who are "movers and shakers" in some field. Something like wino attire is now "in."

 

[LizzieMaine]

An interesting cultural contrast: I was listening to a 1939 radio interview the other night with a cross-country Greyhound bus driver, who had a lot to say about what went into making the ride endurable. Number one on his list was having a bus full of "chinners," or active conversationalists, people who made a point of having conversations with their neighbors. Those who have seen "It Happened One Night" will remember the bus scenes, where at one point the passengers got into a rousing sing-along version of "The Man On The Flying Trapeze." That sort of thing wasn't a movie fiction -- Greyhound drivers had a policy of actively encouraging the passengers to entertain themselves that way, and that was still the policy into relatively modern times: when I took a cross-country bus in the early '80s, a girl with a guitar did a recital of spirituals from Amarillo to Albuquerque and those who knew the words were encouraged to join in. It was a pleasant way of killing the boredom, and helped relieve the uneasiness you feel when surrounded by random strangers.

Can you imagine something like that on a bus or a plane nowadays? Why not?