The wonder of wedding bands

[tonyb]

I've long appreciated the custom of the wedding ring. The presence of one tells others that its bearer either is "spoken for," or wishes people to think that. I've known cocktail waitresses who referred to their wedding bands as "no-pest strips."

This is not to say that the absence of a wedding ring means that ring-less person is looking to get hit on. But the presence of one certainly suggests he or she is not.

 

[Tiki Tom]

I do appreciate the symbolism and timeless tradition. It is one of the small yet beautiful things that we generally don't think much about. I've been wearing mine now for 24 years.

 

[Edward]

It's a much older tradition than the diamond engagement ring (a "tradition" invented by deBeers to sell diamond rings). It's a realtively recent thing, though, men wearing them. I would if I were married, but I like rings - sually wear three or four at any one time.

 

[rocketeer]

Personally I don't like rings, or any jewellery on men to be honest. My wife all but insisted I wear one till I told her I would take it off at work and probably loose it. I work in engineering and these could get caught on things so she agreed. A friend said she would insist on a tattoo'd ring for those occasions, I just laughed and said she obviously would never trust her partner so maybe she should stay single.
Before we were married my Mrs showed me some and wondered at my disinterest. "Don't buy one or I'll swap it for a watch" was my reply, at the time she was a bit put out but now accepts it. Another thing was I don't like the colour gold, much prefer silver/stainless or chrome plate for watches, buckles anything so a gold ring was a non starter really.

 

[LizzieMaine]

"White gold" was very popular for wedding bands in the 1930s. My grandfather, rough-hewn fellow that he was, always wore his until it wore thru and split at the back.

 

[ChiTownScion]

I wear an Irish Claddagh ring that my wife bought when we were in Dingle a few years ago as my wedding band. She has one as well: our rings don't "match." We may be married, but we both hate being too cute-sie about wearing matching jewelry or apparel.

This may not be canon, but there supposedly is a message sent based upon which hand and in which direction it is worn. Right hand means you're single, left hand means you're married. If the hands, heart, and crown appear right side in to the wearer (or, upside down to the second person conversing with the wearer) , that supposedly also means that, married or not, the wearer isn't interested in looking for someone of the opposite sex.

Conversely... if it appears right side out to the second person, it means (married or not) the wearer is "looking." I think that any girl encountering a guy with the heart out on the left hand ought to know that any married man looking for side action- Irish charm not withstanding- is still nothing but trouble.

 

[sheeplady]

I have a vintage engagement ring and a modern band bought to coordinate.

After having our daughter and going through cancer treatment, I found my knuckles had "swollen" and my rings no longer fit even after i had lost the weight. I have bony hands, so my knuckles keep my rings on. (I asked if this happens and neither my OB or oncologist could confirm one way or another what did it.)

So I had them resized. I then developed lymphadema in my left arm and hand so I could no longer wear jewelry there. Finally I had them resized to wear in my right. This made me quite sad at the time, because it was another manifestation of something taken (even as silly as wearing a band on the correct hand! ). But then I found I was wearing my rings more because I wasn't afraid of having them cut off if I swelled too much, so I am very happy about that decision now.

My husband is a romantic (in many ways more than me) and he was very insistent on "the traditional way" for our bands when we got them. He gets mildly upset if he takes his ring off and forgets it at home. Whereas I waited nearly a year each time to get my rings resized, when his got a bit to tight he took care of it in a matter of weeks.

 

[MisterCairo]

Our wedding bands are not identical, bought from the same jeweller in Ottawa where I was posted at the time. Hers is platinum, mine white gold as the platinum equivalent was too expensive!

 

[scottyrocks]

Early in my marriage, between lots of hand drumming, and lots of motorcycle, automotive, and building construction work, my ring was rarely on my finger. I took to wearing it on a chain around my neck.

It is only in later years, when all of the above stuff has tapered off to almost nothing, that I wear it on the appropriate finger.

 

[emigran]

My mother had a gold "everyday" band and a platinum with tiny diamond chips embedded that would match with her engagement ring for 'Sunday' and going out. My Dad only a gold (which I now have) ... they were married in '45.

 

[scotrace]

What to do with it after a divorce? (if, heaven forbid, such a thing happens)

 

[sheeplady]

Some with children save them for the kids (assuming the divorce was not contentious).

Most people I know sell theirs and buy themselves something nice.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My mother hocked both of hers and threw the pawn tickets away. Got $30 for the first one and $15 for the second.

Mine -- which came from a pawn shop in the first place -- is somewhere in a box or a drawer, but I couldn't tell you where. Haven't thought of it in many years.

 

[GHT]

What to do with it after a divorce?

What's divorce? 48 years married this coming Wednesday. We've just started to plan what we want to do in two years time, when we go gold.
We have similar rings, although it wasn't deliberate, they are simple gold bands. My wedding ring comes off every night, I used to get wedding ring dermatitis, but removing it at night has prevented that. During the day, I wouldn't dream of going out without my wedding ring on. To me it's the representation of the love, trust and care that I've enjoyed these last 48 years. I've made many mistakes in my life, getting married to my very special lady wasn't one of them.

 

[EstherWeis]

I always wear my rings. I feel naked without them. I had a little heart attack some time ago.
I took them off for preparing meatloaf on a family weekend gettaway.
My father moved them to another spot without telling me, and I couldn't find them.
Emmanuel only takes his off for working out.

When my parents divorced they put the rings on their key rings.

 

[Edward]

Some with children save them for the kids (assuming the divorce was not contentious).

Most people I know sell theirs and buy themselves something nice.

I guess everyone does what they feel comfortable with. Call me superstitious if you will, but the idea of wearing a ring I knew to have been a representation of a marriage that failed would give me the hebie jeebies. I felt sorry for the Middleton girl (as she then was) when she ended up wearing Diana's engagement ring. I mean, has there ever been a more publicly and spectacularly failed relationship? But hey, as long as that couple were both happy with it, that's what matters. I guess it's all about what the ring means to you. I was briefly engaged many years ago; it didn't work out (which turned out to be a good thing in the long run, for two very important reasons. Both of them were her face. (Wokka wokka wokka, I'm here all week, try the chicken....)). The ring had been resized, or I'd have taken it back to the store; as it was, I sold it on. The money got sunk into bills or something else unidentifiable - I didn't want the reminder every time I look at something specific (not even the guitar it had originally been earmarked for.....).

Got one ring I wear every day that was a present from Herself for my 40th aq coupel of years ago; I have absolutely no plans as to how to dispose of that, as I don't plan ever to need to.

 

[sheeplady]

I felt sorry for the Middleton girl (as she then was) when she ended up wearing Diana's engagement ring. I mean, has there ever been a more publicly and spectacularly failed relationship? But hey, as long as that couple were both happy with it, that's what matters.

I felt sorry for Kate Middletown (that is how the media refers to her over here- or by Princess Kate) too. Less because of the ring, and more because the media at the time seemed obsessed with comparing Kate to her deceased mother-in-law in *every way possible.* it's really hard to compete with a ghost, yet alone the ghost of an internationally beloved mother that died when your husband was a child.

It is up to the kid to decide if they want to use a ring coming from a parents' divorce if it is offered, I imagine to some it represents the divorce, but to some it is representative of their parent.

I see your point, though. My engagement ring is vintage, bought in disrepair from a pawn shop, worn badly. I have no idea if they had a long and happy marriage. I do like to think that the reason my ring was so badly worn because they had a long life together. (We has it repaired.)

 

[Edward]

The Diana thing does seem a heavy burden to put on anyone. Still, the Palace much be happy with it, as they do seem to feed it at every opportunity.

Sounds like a fair reasoning with your ring; it's the ones with no wear at all I'd suspect of not reflecting a successful relationship.

 

[sheeplady]

The Diana thing does seem a heavy burden to put on anyone. Still, the Palace much be happy with it, as they do seem to feed it at every opportunity.

Sounds like a fair reasoning with your ring; it's the ones with no wear at all I'd suspect of not reflecting a successful relationship.

I'm the sort of American who finds the whole royalty thing... odd... because it is so out of my own cultural context. So to me, I wouldn't think that they had a PR department (or even put any thought into if they did), but it makes sense they have an established one. Suddenly the whole Diana's ring thing takes on a new light.

There are plenty of Americans who are fascinated by the royals. I'd run like I was on fire in the opposite direction if a royal ever showed interest in me. That's not a fairy tale; that's a nightmare.

 

[LizzieMaine]

"If you really loved me, you'd abdicate." -- Wallis Simpson.