The women of Gen Y - why?!

[MK]

Originally posted by MDFrench

"Yeah, she was supposed to meet me here 2 hours and ten months ago. She never did, but I still come here ever so often."

That sounds like a Marlowe line.

 

[Wild Root]

Yeah, it really does.

Cool,

Root.

 

[The_Edge]

Maybe it is the type of girl you persue, French, rather than who you are. Maybe you need to reevaluate what kinds of girls you are attracted to.

You know what else works, prayer. I accepted Christ into my heart in 1989. God has blessed my life in more ways than I could ever list here. I'm not a wealthy man by any means but the day I got married and the day my daughter was born are the two days I became rich.

 

[MDFrench]

Thanks Edge,

But as MK and others here can attest, I am not devoid of religion. Maybe I've been selected by God to be one of those unfortunate whipping boys or something. Seems most aspects of my life are always described to me by others as "character building experiences."

Frankly, I've got enought character now. I want someone else to get some character instead of me.

 

[Michaelson]

Can't add a thing but more cliche's and same old, same old. Me being married almost 29 years now, and having gone through the same thing as you, but at a MUCH earlier time, I understand your frustration, and found my life mate at a time I wasn't even looking. It will happen. You may be trying to hard.....and I only say that because I see you're trying to understand the opposite sex. You're wasting your time. Have another one on me...as long as it's Gentleman Jack... Regards. Michaelson

 

[Matt Deckard]

Completley right Michaelson!

Don't try to understand them... it just boggles the mind and leaves you drained.

 

[Michaelson]

...and it doesn't matter what your age either! High regards. Michaelson

 

[jamespowers]

Originally posted by Michaelson
You may be trying to hard.....and I only say that because I see you're trying to understand the opposite sex. You're wasting your time. Have another one on me...as long as it's Gentleman Jack... Regards. Michaelson

Here, Here!
Us married guys can also give a perfect example. We have to keep remembering there is a difference in problem solving that even pschology recognizes.
It goes something like this:
The wife has a problem. The husband wants to fix the problem and be done with it. The wife wants to talk about it and contemplate it more than fix it. When you suggest ways to fix it, you are labeled uncaring and not willing to listen. It is just a matter of how we look at things and understanding that there is a difference. Just sit there and say ok a few times. You're set. You don't even have to understand. It is not like you are ever going to anyway. LOL
Take it from this fellow:
"Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?"
- Sigmund Freud

Regards to all,

J LOL

 

[jamespowers]

Here's a few more (Geez, my wife is going to kill me )

"Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'."
- Jeffrey Bernard

"No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing."
- Seymour Hicks

"Even if man could understand women he still wouldn't believe it."
- A.W. Brown

 

[Wild Root]

LOL LOL LOL Those are good JP.

Root

 

[Feraud]

Keep your chin up MDFrench. Things are not as bad as you think. Someone mentioned that the average marrying age is higher than it used to be. That is correct. 26 is by no means considered "old". You may not have a steady now but she'll show up eventually.

If you think your nice guy image is "striking out" before you have a chance to bat, then change it a bit. I am not saying be any less nice, but maybe a bit more aggressive. It makes you no less a gentlemen to be aggressive at certain times. Rather than being that "well dressed, nice guy" go for the "well dressed, charming and irresistable" type of fella.

:martini::martini::martini::martini::martini: another round for the boys, it's on me.

 

[jamespowers]

Make mine a double. Hold the garbage. LOL I think I need it.

 

[farnham54]

I am a second year college student who has never had a girlfriend for more then 2 weeks. Why? I don't know, and I don't care to know. In high school, I was absolutley infatuated with one girl for 4 years--I thought she was "the one" etc. etc. etc.

Then, for some reason that I do not know, my perspective changed.

I know a lot of people here have said "Don't worry, you'll find The One someday". I personally do not believe in the idea of "the one". I think there is a whole TON of "Ones" out there that can be very rewarding to have a relationship with. Keep your chin up and your eyes (but more importantly, your heart) open, and you'll be okay. Second most important of all, DO NOT be afriad to love. Love is a feeling--that cannot be controlled. Do not dismiss Love just because you don't think that a girl is "the one" for you. If you love her, you love her.

And MOST IMPORTANT: Do not fear pain. Do not be afriad to be hurt. That's life, mate. We all get hurt, we all get knocked down. But there is absolutley no shame in that, and a man is not judged by how many times he falls--he is judged by how many times he gets back up again. Yes, you will be hurt. I've been hurt many times. I pull the fedora tight on my brow, play the Raiders march, and get on with the adventure that is life. We all must do this--and I know it is very tough. But be proud of who you are, keep your eyes on who you may become, and never forget where you came from. Be yourself, at all times, and be damn proud of it.

Confidence is key. If a girl denies you, it's her loss not yours. You are cut from the finest cloth of Gentlmanlyness--if she cannot see that and does not want that then she is missing out, not you.

Chin up, mate.

Craig

 

[MDFrench]

Wow. That was rather profound. Thanks.

 

[havershaw]

French,
I've been sort of busy lately - haven't been in the Lounge much of late - but I saw this thread (first log on in a week or so) and I have to just tell you that my thoughts are with you, bud.
You sound exactly like me when I was younger. I'm 31, and I met my wife when I was about 27. I had my share of girlfriends over the years (after all, I was in a band), but most ended in flames, and I heard a lot of 'friendly' or 'brotherly' talk from ladies in my day. To be honest, I obsessed over my lack of a significant other to the extent that I was absolutely miserable when I was unattached (a massive percentage of the time). I could get dates (in a band, remember?), but it would not be very long before it became obvious that, well...I was too damn nice. What is it with dames and their distaste for the nice guy?
Well, I found out, it's only a certain faction of dames. I got lucky, and met the woman who is not only my absolute best friend (and we were best friends for about a year before I realized it was she who I was in love with), but one of kindest, gentlest, most compassionate human beings I have ever met. She's also pretty easy on the eyes, and this is a combination of attributes I never thought I would ever find in a million years. And (you'll hate hearing this again), but it only happens when you're not looking.
Sadly, younger girls are easily impressed by stupid things - by all the WRONG things. I dated a LOT more from age 25 onwards, and I found myself dating women my age and older. They just seemed to be more appreciative of and interested in what I had to offer.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I believe that there's always someone out there who will buy what you're selling. It's just too big of a world for there to not be. If Tattoo (of Fantasy Island fame) can marry a hot chick, there is hope for you. Most of what i have to say has already been said...but my heart reallly goes out to you, and I just had to post something to let you know that you're not alone, and that there really is someone wonderful out there waiting for you, who's probably just as frustrated as you are that she hasn't found you yet. She doesn't know who you are yet, but she's dreamed of you, much as you've dreamed of her, and let me tell you - you might not know her at first, but when you find out that you've found her, it will hit you like a freight train with a rhinocerous tied to it.
One more point: don't allow yourself to be defined by failure. In other words, don't be "the guy who always gets dumped and is down on his luck with the ladies." That was who I was for a long time, and my whole personality was wrapped up in that. It defined who I was, and when I finally did have a real, serious girlfriend (prior to my wife, but my only other long and serious, multi-year relationship), I had a minor crisis when I realized that my life was so defined by the QUEST for love that when I found it, well...I didn't know what to do with my life, or who I was - because wasn't I Sir-Dumped-A-Lot? I didn't quite know who I was if I wasn't that guy, and it was because I was so consumed by my search for one special girl. Anyway, don't let it happen to you.
I know I've probably rambled a bit, but I'm coming off two weeks of twenty-hour days. I'm a little woozy, I guess.
But hang in there, brother. She's out there, and you'll find her - or rather, she'll find you.

 

[ITG]

Looks like I'm a few days late reading this post, but as a female who has had the pleasure of meeting you in person, I want to respond...

I am 26, generally clean cut, and I have scruples. Apparently, women don't want that. The women of my generation want skeevy jerks, or they want someone who as described by them, is exactly like me, but they don't want me of course - just someone exactly like me. It's a load of crap and I find myself becoming more embittered as the YEARS go by.

I must say these women are messed up. Sounds like you are the type of guy us women search for but can't ever find, because they're either married or don't exist. Don't let this breakup get ya bittered up...that's not healthy: emotionally, physically, or spiritually. The person with the loss in the situation is your ex...not you. You deserve someone who will love you no matter what and can remain in a committed relationship. Evidentally it wasn't God's will for the two of you to marry and it's times like this we need to thank Him for this "hidden blessing." .At this point insert the story I'm PMing you that happened to me regarding a "hidden blessing." It's long and I want to spare the others the time of sifting through an already somewhat lengthy response.

Sorry for the rant - but I am angry, bitter, and admittedly, lonely. It seems the women of my generation are only interested in jerks with money, Paris Hilton style lives, and nothing of substance.

Don't apologize for the rant...you need to get it out. Bottling it up gets ya nowhere. It seems these women are probably the same women who are not deserving of a guy of your caliber and integrity. I could tell you were an upstanding guy at the Queen Mary last year when you used your UPS packing expertise to repack that little yellow shrinking Mustang that 4 of us were unsuccessfully trying load our suitcases and hats into. You really went out of your way to successfully help us (although I'm sure the unlucky backseat riders were feeling as one with the rear side window).

I don't wanna be 35 years old or 40 and still looking.

I hear ya, pal! I'm 28 and my prospects aren't lookin' good either. I know people tell me it'll happen when you least suspect it (I can't stand hearing that), but I know I have my doubts that it'll ever happen. I completely understand where you're coming from. But you gotta make sure that whoever you decide to spend the rest of your life with is right for you and vice versa and someone that is worth being with the rest of your life. I don't know you're specific situation and don't wanna pass judgment on your ex (so I'll keep my mouth shut) but my gut is saying her unwise choice has lost herself a gem of a guy and it'll be some other lady's rare find. You just haven't found your "treasure" yet.

Havershaw, having come off of two weeks of twenty-hour days, I must say you impress me with your wisdom and the insightful inner self-reflection of yourself.

 

[Velma Kelly]

I don't really know you, French, but I want to tell you that I feel for you.

Let me assure you that not all women are evil beings... (Although I could name a few dames that come close to evil.)

I agree with what the other guys and ITG said, so I am not going to repeat all those wonderful and intelligent things that have been said before. (I couldn't say it better. After all, English is not my mother language.)

There *is* somone out there for everyone of us... and I believe in fate and I even experienced myself that *everything* happens for a reason although we sometimes find out the reason why a little later.

You sound like a really wonderful guy, so keep your faith and don't try too hard to find the right person that is meant for you. She will eventually find you in the right moment and everything will turn out to be just perfect in the end. And until the moment comes she will stand in front of you, enjoy your life! Be happy! Have fun! I know it's easily said and you will think "How can she say that? She's not in my shoes!" but it will be all ok.


Much love,
Velma

 

[farnham54]

Forget what I said, French. I just found out the hard way that I am full of crap. I will probobly be absent from the Lounge and COW for a while to the rest of you; Don't worry about me as i will prevail. I always do. I'll just pull the fed down over my brow, play the raiders march in my head, and keep on with the adventure.

French, Don't ever let a lady jerk you around. If she does, she simply ain't worth it.

Regards and adieu,

Craig

 

[The Wolf]

Craig,

I hope you know that you aren't alone in this world.
As long as there are members of the Fedora Lounge, you know there are people that are like you.
I wish you the best.

Wolf