The Wifely Duties

[LizzieMaine]

In particular, health food awareness and cookery skills are something I think far more important than most of the other stuff mentioned, and I think it's great that schools these days have cut free from the old gender-role stereotypes and teach these to both genders equally.

Around here, at least, the stereotypes have been replaced by an even more pernicious stereotype -- the idea that household skills such as cooking and sewing are themselves "stereotypically feminine," and are therefore unworthy of the attention of modern kids. Rather than teaching home-ec to all kids, it's now taught to *no* kids. I think the "OMG OMG SAVE US FROM PC!" alarm is sounded way too often these days, often for entirely bogus reasons, but in this case it's right on the button.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

I've always believed that in many ways femininity was ultimately destroyed by feminism.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I've always believed that in many ways femininity was ultimately destroyed by feminism.

The thing is, what is essentially "feminine" about cooking or sewing, anyway? All you men eat, don't you? You all wear clothes? Knowing how to maintain your pants ought to be as important as knowing how to maintain your car. And a man who can't or won't cook is a spoiled mama's boy who needs to get over himself and grow up.

 

[PoohBang]

The thing is, what is essentially "feminine" about cooking or sewing, anyway? All you men eat, don't you? You all wear clothes? Knowing how to maintain your pants ought to be as important as knowing how to maintain your car. And a man who can't or won't cook is a spoiled mama's boy who needs to get over himself and grow up.

What gender are the "best" chefs in the world... men
Who designs the "Best" clothes... men

Cooking and sewing might be seen as a feminine job, but if you look to who we admire most in those fields it's always men.

 

[ButteMT61]

My wife enjoys the fire roaring on a cold night. She doesn't cut the firewood.
She drives her car everywhere. She doesn't change the oil or flat tires.
When I was in high school, I took cooking and sewing classes. it was fun, and luckily, it was where most of the girls were. Double win.
I don't care about labels. Some men do things typically done by women. My daughter went through fire academy when she wasted to be a paramedic/firefighter.
Luckily, pretty much everything is open for anyone who wants it today. Just make sure that when they bring back the draft that men & women are included...after all, national security is in the interest of men and women alike...

 

[sheeplady]

When I was in high school, I took cooking and sewing classes. it was fun, and luckily, it was where most of the girls were. Double win.

Home Ec was a half a year course in middle school for me (Grade 7- I was about 11 I think). They covered basic nutrition, home budgeting, interior decorating, and cooking. We had a class project where we created a business and sold products (strawberry smoothies) in the cafeteria. Everyone had to take Home Ec, but it wasn't offered to any other grade as an elective either.

We did our cooking in groups in the course. I was the only girl in my group of about 5 people, and the only thing I ever got to do in the cooking projects was *sometimes* a few of the dishes, if that. All those years of "social training" that girls do the cooking flew right out the window. Most of the time I just stood around and let the boys fight over who got to measure out the ingredients, stir up the cookies, wash the dishes, etc.

That simple experience taught me that there is nothing feminine about cooking or sewing, if these "macho" boys (and they were the "macho type") were fighting over who got to stir the cookies. And let me tell you, those cookies tasted really good. They were homemade and I didn't have to lift a finger.

 

[ButteMT61]

Home Ec was a half a year course in middle school for me (Grade 7- I was about 11 I think). They covered basic nutrition, home budgeting, interior decorating, and cooking. We had a class project where we created a business and sold products (strawberry smoothies) in the cafeteria. Everyone had to take Home Ec, but it wasn't offered to any other grade as an elective either.

We did our cooking in groups in the course. I was the only girl in my group of about 5 people, and the only thing I ever got to do in the cooking projects was *sometimes* a few of the dishes, if that. All those years of "social training" that girls do the cooking flew right out the window. Most of the time I just stood around and let the boys fight over who got to measure out the ingredients, stir up the cookies, wash the dishes, etc.

That simple experience taught me that there is nothing feminine about cooking or sewing, if these "macho" boys (and they were the "macho type") were fighting over who got to stir the cookies. And let me tell you, those cookies tasted really good. They were homemade and I didn't have to lift a finger.

Yep, that's how it was. Ironically, only one or two girls took the wood/metal/power mechanics shops classes with us. We had full kitchens setup (about 8 total) with 4-6 kids in each kitchen. It was competitive as well as fun and educational. I was a self-sustaining bachelor that's for sure.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Luckily, pretty much everything is open for anyone who wants it today.

In theory. But consider the practice.

Two kids, eleven years old. One is a boy, one is a girl. Both are asked what they'd like to learn to do.

Both say they'd like to learn to cook and sew.

Which one, in our Enlightened Modern Era, will receive bend-over-backwards encouragement and praise for embracing such "transgressive behavior" and which one will be told "hmph, you don't have to do that, wouldn't you rather play soccer?"

Until *both* of those kids are told to do whatever they want with no guff or interference from anyone, "cultural progress" is just so much bunk. And in all sincerity, we should ask ourselves: would those kids be told that today?

 

[ButteMT61]

^^ I'll disagree with you there. Turn on the TV today, and you see 95% of "cooks/chefs" are men. Gordon Ramsey - love him or hate him - has made cooking "manly".
If my son wanted to do that, I'd be all for it. Hell, I see him sewing more than any woman, sans my wife. He's making a reproduction of a WWII Russian tunic right now. Sure, there are plenty of crap parents that would do what you say, but that's not society - that's crap parents. And I know, many are...

 

[LizzieMaine]

95 percent of professional chefs have *always* been men. And, actually, you just proved my point -- I'm more concerned with what people would tell the *girl.*

 

[jamespowers]

95 percent of professional chefs have *always* been men. And, actually, you just proved my point -- I'm more concerned with what people would tell the *girl.*

Don't ask Gloria.

 

[ButteMT61]

95 percent of professional chefs have *always* been men. And, actually, you just proved my point -- I'm more concerned with what people would tell the *girl.*

In what respect? Help me out here, a really rough night. (no, not a fun night)

 

[sheeplady]

95 percent of professional chefs have *always* been men. And, actually, you just proved my point -- I'm more concerned with what people would tell the *girl.*

I think the problem here, and this is totally my personal opinion, is that most people aren't actually concerned with increasing the prestige of traditionally female careers/ occupations/ tasks. Since we don't value primary school teaching, nursing, or the homemaker; heaven forbid a female child who is smart (or whatever) choose these. Rather, what society seems to care about is raising girls to take traditionally "manly occupations" while punishing girls who take traditionally "feminine occupations."

It's much easier to say to a child "Oh, no Suzie, you don't want to be a nurse. Be a doctor." than it is to actually raise the prestige of a traditionally female occupation, like nursing. And I think we encourage men away from these traditionally female occupations simply by furthering the idea that there is less value in being a nurse than being a doctor.

 

[PoohBang]

using the nurse/doctor thought, you might be not seeing that doctors make way more than nurses, so perhaps parents are just trying to get their children into the better paying job....

 

[jamespowers]

I think the problem here, and this is totally my personal opinion, is that most people aren't actually concerned with increasing the prestige of traditionally female careers/ occupations/ tasks. Since we don't value primary school teaching, nursing, or the homemaker; heaven forbid a female child who is smart (or whatever) choose these. Rather, what society seems to care about is raising girls to take traditionally "manly occupations" while punishing girls who take traditionally "feminine occupations."

It's much easier to say to a child "Oh, no Suzie, you don't want to be a nurse. Be a doctor." than it is to actually raise the prestige of a traditionally female occupation, like nursing. And I think we encourage men away from these traditionally female occupations simply by furthering the idea that there is less value in being a nurse than being a doctor.

You might have a point there. In which case, that means that women themselves have to come to terms with these occupations and just leave each other alone when one of them chooses to be a stay at home mother, nurse, school teacher etc. All of those are equals to me. I might value my wife being at home more personally as she does things I cannot do whether I was at work or otherwise. She actually becomes the school teacher, nurse, accountant, and many other occupations just being home with the children. Anyone who thinks that is easy needs an attitude adjustment.

 

[LizzieMaine]

A girl who wants to engage in domestic activities because they're what she wants to do will be discouraged in every way from following that course, by the basic thrust of modern culture. Think of all the dismissive "hmph, whatta you wanna do, stay home and bake cooooooookies" gibes, all the "real girls play rough" propaganda, all the rest of it which convinces girls and young women that housework = unimportant silly feminine stereotypes. Think of all the guff the "Time Warp Wives" got, think of every stay-at-home mother who's ever been accused of being a sellout. And then wonder why the typical 21-year-old woman has no idea whatever of how to sew on a button or boil an egg.

As long as modern culture turns basic, necessary human tasks into punching bags for their particular sociopolitical agendas, we're just going to see more of this sort of thing. And that's not "progressive," it's just bone dumb stupid. And it's anything but free choice.

 

[jamespowers]

A girl who wants to engage in domestic activities because they're what she wants to do will be discouraged in every way from following that course, by the basic thrust of modern culture. Think of all the dismissive "hmph, whatta you wanna do, stay home and bake cooooooookies" gibes, all the "real girls play rough" propaganda, all the rest of it which convinces girls and young women that housework = unimportant silly feminine stereotypes. Think of all the guff the "Time Warp Wives" got, think of every stay-at-home mother who's ever been accused of being a sellout. And then wonder why the typical 21-year-old woman has no idea whatever of how to sew on a button or boil an egg.

As long as modern culture turns basic, necessary human tasks into punching bags for their particular sociopolitical agendas, we're just going to see more of this sort of thing. And that's not "progressive," it's just bone dumb stupid. And it's anything but free choice.

:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I don't know why being a stay at home wife and mother is so looked down upon. It's harder work than most jobs outside the home and requires your attention 24/7. It's one of the oldest, and should be one of the most respected life-choices.

My sister wants to stay at home and raise her family and I applaud her for that. You don't see many people wanting that choice anymore. In fact, I see more guys that want their wives to work and to stay home, themselves.

 

[rue]

A girl who wants to engage in domestic activities because they're what she wants to do will be discouraged in every way from following that course, by the basic thrust of modern culture. Think of all the dismissive "hmph, whatta you wanna do, stay home and bake cooooooookies" gibes, all the "real girls play rough" propaganda, all the rest of it which convinces girls and young women that housework = unimportant silly feminine stereotypes. Think of all the guff the "Time Warp Wives" got, think of every stay-at-home mother who's ever been accused of being a sellout. And then wonder why the typical 21-year-old woman has no idea whatever of how to sew on a button or boil an egg.

As long as modern culture turns basic, necessary human tasks into punching bags for their particular sociopolitical agendas, we're just going to see more of this sort of thing. And that's not "progressive," it's just bone dumb stupid. And it's anything but free choice.

Well said Lizzie!!

 

[rue]

I don't know why being a stay at home wife and mother is so looked down upon. It's harder work than most jobs outside the home and requires your attention 24/7. It's one of the oldest, and should be one of the most respected life-choices.

My sister wants to stay at home and raise her family and I applaud her for that. You don't see many people wanting that choice anymore. In fact, I see more guys that want their wives to work and to stay home, themselves.

You'd be surprised how many mothers and even other kids have asked me over the years.... "What do you do all day? Don't you get bored?"
Bored.... HA! That's a good one!