The tie, a date-killer??

[herringbonekid]

Some guys still DO wear suits to work. Said suits are in a particularly boring phase right now (look at all the black), and so are the appropriate shirts and ties. At the same time the role of the suit, coat and tie outfit has also been made narrower. It is less about elegance or style now, and more about obligation and rote behavior.

this is true to a degree. there will always be people who will just buy a cheap suit as obligatory office wear. but the suit IS having a revival right now. it isn't just style-magazine hype. there are lots of interesting suits about, in England anyway.

i don't think the crux of the article is really about wearing a tie or not wearing a tie. it's whether you look cool/sexy/stylish wearing a tie. the rest of the outfit is crucial. the tie alone is unlikely to make or break a date, but is just a part of an overall look.

 

[Fletch]

I get shuttled into clus when I wear a tie so it is still an emblem to those who recognize some sort of standards in our society.

What is clus?

I myself am somewhat concerned at being glumped into the "standards crowd," which is peppered with deluded tighty-righty culture-warriors whose interest in history is limited to taking us back to a cartoon '50s that never happened.

 

[Lee Lynch]

this is true to a degree. there will always be people who will just buy a cheap suit as obligatory office wear. but the suit IS having a revival right now. it isn't just style-magazine hype. there are lots of interesting suits about, in England anyway.

i don't think the crux of the article is really about wearing a tie or not wearing a tie. it's whether you look cool/sexy/stylish wearing a tie. the rest of the outfit is crucial. the tie alone is unlikely to make or break a date, but is just a part of an overall look.

When we were shopping for suits for me at JC Penny, we found some rather nice suits. I have a new Bill Blass high-gorge three button with nice snug armholes that really rocks. We did have to go to a few places, as many stores carry only the boxy, bland, giant arm-holes type. Penny's had some great options, though.

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

It's the culture of sarkiness. She: "I'm going to look at you in horror because you look like my dead grandfather even though I'd actually be lucky to have a date with that kind of guy instead of a 30-year-old sk8boi but since I'm so cool I can't express that because that would mean I care and it's uncool to care so your tie is stupid."

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

Remember some very important song lyrics: "He was a Sk8erboi, she said see you later boy!!" (don't ask me how I know this song!!) But, there was a time when the Sk8erboi was actually not considered cool, just ask Avril Lavigne!! But of course the loser sk8erboi ends up famous and "rockin' on MTv", so that makes him a cool trend setter!! lol

 

[Matt Deckard]

What is clus?

I myself am somewhat concerned at being glumped into the "standards crowd," which is peppered with deluded tighty-righty culture-warriors whose interest in history is limited to taking us back to a cartoon '50s that never happened.

clubs

 

[Lee Lynch]

What is clus?

I myself am somewhat concerned at being glumped into the "standards crowd," which is peppered with deluded tighty-righty culture-warriors whose interest in history is limited to taking us back to a cartoon '50s that never happened.

I'm not sure to what "standards crowd" you are referring, but I value some pretty conservative moral and behavioral standards, and always will. I do not let the extremism of a marginalized few right-wing fanatics deny me the right to have a set list of guidelines to live by, governed by religious and social success. I have a vast interest in history including ancient history, and study it without bias all the time.

I feel that there is an over-reactive spite of morals and standards in our society, and I've heard many friends put forth a knee-jerk hatred of prominent people just because they dared to speak of morals. How DARE they have standards!

 

[Fletch]

You have a point, Lee. But there are comparatively few on my side of the proverbial aisle who haven't thrown the Standards baby out with the Culture War bathwater.

 

[vonwotan]

Fortunately there do seem to be a few men and women left in the world who value style and elegance, and there seems to be a bit of a shift to a somewhat cleaner look in our offices. We do however, find ourselves haunting fewer restaurants, lounges and clubs. While we still do like to try out new restaurants and bars, we wind up returning to the few places left in town where the gentlemen and ladies still dress for dinner or an evening out. On several occasions women, and an occasional man, will stop me to complement my bow ties, my hats or my clothing. We have also been drawn in to discussions with neighboring tables about clothing, style and how much we appreciate when others around us dress well.

Unfortunately, many of those conversations wind up with someone saying, "I wish I could dress up more often but," and they end with an explanation of why their friends/coworkers/peers would find it odd or, that they lack the confidence. I am told that a few people find me less approachable, not for what I say or do but, because of the way I dress.

It seems with all the fear mongering in public discourse and in the media that many people are at turns driven or inhibited by fear these days and try very hard to blend in with the flock. It seems that keeping one's head down, not sharing opinions, etc. are all common catchphrases in the workplace and that carries over into our personal lives.

I suppose this might be true on some dates, but I have always known or been introduced to the women I date, so I suppose they know in advance that I am likely to be in sport coat and tie or ascot as my casual attire. If I were to be set up on a date with a woman who dismissed me for my appearance or attire I would just write it off as a lack of compatibility.

 

[Feraud]

In the poor unknown girl's defence...he does say it was a 'mid-day coffee date'.

That's hardly a date, let alone a 'first date' level of date....that's a 'Vet the guy you met online to see he isn't a total idiot or axe murderer' date....not a DATE.

and whats wrong with flats...damn...not all of us can wear heels constantly you know...?

No offense meant at all against jeans and flats. That is the norm and I do not have a problem with it.
My comments reflect the opinion that the author should not feel uncomfortable in situations any more than people walking around in public wearing p.js or sweatpants.

More than likely the author made up the whole article up.

 

[Paisley]

Whether he made it up or not, he's a romantic. He loves the tie's ties to the past, he saved the tie from his old girlfriend, and the only reason he's stopped wearing ties is that he's afraid that women won't like them.

 

[Tomasso]

.

More than likely the author made up the whole article up.

He's with the LA Times not the NY Times.

 

[Tomasso]

OR, maybe he's not at all nearly as cute as he thinks he is. The look of disgust wasn't towards his tie, that's just where her eyes landed because she couldn't bare to look at his face!!!

The author, receiving a Pulitzer in 2000.

 

[BegintheBeguine]

He does seem like a romantic

This fellow sounds pretty nice. His book might just be at your local library. http://www.amazon.com/Tender-Bar-Memoir-J-R-Moehringer/dp/1401300642 He should join the Lounge.

 

[Feraud]

He's with the LA Times not the NY Times.

Yes I agree. That was why I wrote LA Times.. [huh]

 

[Tomasso]

Yes I agree. That was why I wrote LA Times.. [huh]

I was referring to the Jayson Blair debacle.

 

[Tony in Tarzana]

LA Times says ties are out, so that means they're coming back.

I go through phases of wearing them on a regular basis and then not wearing one for quite a while. Since discovering the Lounge a year ago, I've re-connected with my inner grownup and I'm back in suits and ties with a vengeance.

No complaints from the ladies, either.

 

[Feraud]

I was referring to the Jayson Blair debacle.

Touche! :eusa_clap

 

[Widebrim]

Beauty is in the tie of the beholder

Ties are still worn heavily on weekdays by downtown Los Angeles businessmen (and those in Glendale, too). Some tie-less suit combos actually do look good, but are worn mostly by black men, at least from what I've seen. I teach in L.A., and every time I wear a vintage '50s-early '60s tie I receive compliments, from students and staff alike (of course if you know L.A., then you know that Silverlake is a bit avante-garde in attitude, and the place to see straw fedoras). My father is from Pennslyvannia, but moved to the Bronx just before Pearl Harbor, so his style became NYC-inspired (as was my mom's). Toss in that we're Italian-Greek ancestry, and you've got a fashion-conscious family. I kept most of my father's 50s ties and tiebars, and find a vintage necktie almost every week in the thrift stores.

 

[Widebrim]

LA Times says ties are out, so that means they're coming back.

I go through phases of wearing them on a regular basis and then not wearing one for quite a while. Since discovering the Lounge a year ago, I've re-connected with my inner grownup and I'm back in suits and ties with a vengeance.

No complaints from the ladies, either.

Solid!:eusa_clap I have also gotten back into suits, ties, and hats with a vengence, as well as fountain pens and inkwells (especially after John in Covina told me about The Fedora Lounge). For many years I had just one Penney's Marathon fedora, but last year bought a Jaxon gray, felt fedora and found a fiber fedora at the 99c store. Two weeks ago I purchased a summer dress fedora in N. California with a beautiful two-color weave, of which I've received many compliments. I dress up as a teacher, and the staff, students, and parents constantly give me positive comments. I've also turned a friend onto hats, and he just purchased a nice paper fibre, blue fedora with a somewhat stingy brim at Hollywood Hatters in Melrose (L.A.). I even wore my hat to church service in East L.A. (lowrider style with brim turned down), and got positive feedback.

 

[Kimberly]

I love seeing men in ties, but to me it's not really the tie as much as it is the entire look. I work in corporate banking and suits are a must for men if they are visiting customers. The suits most of them wear are the assembly line style that lacks any kind of tailoring or detail, they couple this with a pin striped button up shirt and a bland tie and it looks rather dull.

Now compare that to the pics I see here at the FD of men in the suits they find and it's a whole different ball game. The suits are wonderful and you all put thought into the detail as well. I don't think many of the men I see do that. They just get up in the morning, stare at their suits, pick out one of their multiple pin striped shirts and run out the door with whatever tie they feel like that morning.

I won't even comment on the women I work with who throw on a pair of chinos, a cotton t-shirt or blouse and they even wear flip-flops sometimes.